A Rosie Story

I need to re-pot an African Violet that Cool gifted me with.

This is easier said than done: My bigger pots are in storage in Nevada. I live at an apartment complex so have no yard to collect dirt. I also do not have rocks near my house.

So, I decide to collect rocks during my lunch break at work. But what to put them in? I’m afraid if I just put them in a bag or something some do-gooder will take them for trash and toss them. So I use an old Swiffer-Wet box. I go to write “rocks” then my initials at the top so everyone can see my plan, but without my brain’s involvement, my hand writes “Rosie.”

I thought that was sort of random and funny, and wondered where I got the name Rosie.

When I went outside to get the rocks it was raining. But more importantly, there were not really any rocks around. Being from Nevada, where there are rocks EVERYWHERE I still find this very difficult to believe. But luckily, the house next door was torn down recently and they left a huge hold with boulders around the edges.

I figured where there were boulders there must be smaller rocks too, so I walked to the edge of work’s driveway. And there were smaller rocks among the big ones. I picked up a copper-colored rock and plunked it in my container, I grabbed a brown rock and dropped it in, I grasped a gold. . .

No, not a rock. Rock picking is OVER! I grasped a gold piece of rained-upon poo along the side of the feline-exclusive driveway. With my bare hand. Not cool. Not awesome at all.  But wouldn’t it be funny if whatever animal that left the $hit was named Rosie?!

I went inside, I hope to re-pot the pretty flower, and after this much trouble, it had better live. The End.

Spa Weekend Deconstructed

After a traumatic first week of summer break, Cool and I needed some pampering and distraction.  We decided to unleash our second theme weekend–Spa at Home.  Here are the details for us to reference later:

-We pre-gamed at the Grocery Outlet, buying all their cheap masks and gloves and conditioning treatments.  As well as a boat-load of produce.  It was cheap!

-I would buy the produce differently next time:  Look up recipes first, then shop for the specific ingredients.  Because once we got a cucumber home, I didn’t really know what to do with it, didn’t have other items to mix with it, and had a time-crunch problem to find a use before it rotted.

-We did no cleaning, organizing, or work that weekend.  None.  This was difficult for me as I have a perpetual to-do list and it was looong.

-Picking out spiritual, healthful, cultured movies made the weekend more retreat-like.  We watched:  a documentary about Buddha, the biography of Beethoven, A food documentary about limiting mass produced phony, preservative-laced foods and increasing healthy stuff, and we watched a documentary  about being human that profiled two guys being homeless for a week, visiting a Leper colony, doing community service in South America, etc. . .  The movies really set a good tone for the weekend.

-Scalps were massaged, facial masks were applied, we wanted to make a homemade backne mask (but settled on an old mud mask), a foot soak and pedicure were completed, and a relaxing deep massage was given and received.  A very good start, but next time we will do manicures and other procedures to flesh out the weekend.

-And of course we ate.  Smoothies, veggies, stir-fry, salads, and new recipes (including the best crepes of my life!) were attempted and consumed.  Avacado/coconut/kiwi smoothies need refining. . .

All in all, it was a success that we should try to improve upon in the future.  And a LOT cheaper than the real-deal.

Dead Giveaway

I guess this turned into a sort of rambling post.  But in the interest in establishing routines, I’m going to publish it.  I also cleaned for an hour (after being at work for 11 hours) and ran a mile on the treadmill–just because it was raining outside.  So here’s my effort to write.  Tomorrow will be higher quality work, but today is about making habits:

It’s a creepy feeling to receive e-mails from someone when you don’t think THAT person actually sent the message. It’s truly weird when the sender has been deceased for 10 months. . .

In other news, my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd (I was in Multi-Aged Group or MAG) grade teacher died last week. I’m sad I didn’t reach out to her more on Facebook, and I guess the word is disappointed I didn’t realize she was critically ill.

It’s also strange to think that I am now old enough that teachers and such are old enough to DIE. I mean, without an accident or some other incident that takes them too young. I’m old enough where people that impacted my life are getting old enough to go somewhat naturally.

Thirdly, Sloppy’s ashes and the necklace that contains part of her came back today. Family Pet Memorial does such quality work and is so compassionate! I felt really good about their turn-around, and did not hardly expect such a heavy discount for being an employee at one of the referring vet hospitals. But I was very, very thankful for it, as everything pet-related is adding up so quickly even with very substantial discounting from all sides. I appreciate all of it, and need to get on some thank you notes for sure.

I had empathy (sometimes) for people who couldn’t pay, (when they acted responsibly and weren’t over their heads, or actually couldn’t pay and it wasn’t just a priority issue) but this unexpected event has strengthened it.  I honestly, don’t know what real people do. . . I can see why people might get sticker-shock, have buyer’s remorse, or have to make tough decisions.  Kind of.  I do think good people work it out most times.  But it definitely can be hard.  Maybe I’m still undecided about this issue–it’s a case-by-case thing.

Lastly, I am very excited to reclaim my Goose without fear of eviction.  Though nervous about all of the logistics.

Should Have. . .

Euthanasia is a difficult thing.  It’s hard to know if you’re making the right decision, and a responsibility I’m glad we have, but that can’t be taken lightly.  You just never KNOW when the right time comes.  I don’t want a buddy to suffer in any way, but I don’t want to jump the gun and disrespect life either.

That’s how it was with Sloppy.  She just suddenly got very ill and decisions had to be made.  You also second guess yourself about everything.

-Should I have taken her in for inappropriate urination immediately instead of putting it off until the end of the semester?  Even though she was notorious for peeing on things the whole time I knew her?

-Should I have given her a gratuitous lion cut?

-Maybe I should have put aside consideration for co-workers and MY job and just taken proper time to care for her more. . .  attentively (vitals, etc. . .) Monday at work.  Even though it was busy.

-Would a V/D x-ray have shown the impending congestive heart failure?  I only took a lateral to save time, and effort (for my co-workers), and supplies, and money.

-Should I have just left Sloppy at work Monday through Tuesday?  Even if it meant someone else would be left to clean her cage and take her vitals and treat her?

-If I hadn’t given her Buprenex on Tuesday for pain would I have noticed signs earlier?

-Did the pain medication cause Sloppy not to eat?  Would she have been OK if the opiates hadn’t put her in a 24 hour haze?

-Even though she finally settled down and seemed OK after a restless night Tuesday, should I have taken Sloppy to work with me Wednesday morning?

-I guess instead of trying to avoid going baaaack to work Wednesday and attempting to rinse the bladder by giving SQ fluids at home on Wednesday, anti-nausea medication, and trying to entice her to eat, I guess I should have taken her straight to work.

-If I had taken her in at 11 AM, instead of 2 PM, would the treatments relieved her symptoms instead of making them worse?

-Would I have seen signs of respiratory trouble if I had taken Sloppy home Wednesday night?  How long did she struggle before anyone came back to the building?  *Some things it’s better not to know*

-I woke up at 5:40 AM Thursday and thought about going in at 6:30 AM to clean and treat Sloppy–but didn’t because I thought it would confuse everyone (NO one reads, charts or records or the board) about what she did overnight, and besides, she might get treated twice.

-I thought about going in to clean and treat and maybe pick up Sloppy at 7:00 AM, but decided if I were scheduled to work, another person (or 2 b/c Cool would of course want to visit) in that small area would be more annoying then helpful, so opted not to.

-At 7:30 AM, I looked at the clock and thought about calling, but also knew everyone would have JUST gotten there and were probably trying to clean and take vitals and wouldn’t know anything yet anyway so a call would be bothering them.

-I should have taken my phone into the bedroom with me when I resumed closet-cleaning instead of leaving it by my laptop, because even though the volume was on 7, I never heard it when work tried to get a hold of me repeatedly.

Then, you never know when the end is.  I didn’t know what to do when I saw Sloppy’s distress.  When you’re emotionally involved, it’s difficult to see clearly–without hope intruding upon logic.  The x-rays?  Suddenly cloudy.  The respiration were 90 outside the oxygen kennel and still 60 inside it.  Sloppy looked scared and uncomfortable.  But could Lasix bring her out of it?  She had JUST been fine.  I gave her vaccines just Monday.  She had been bright-eyed that day.  I never expected to have to make life-decisions by Thursday.  So I gave myself a parameter [Side-note:even though Sloppy has been Cool's cat for the last 14 years and only mine for the last 4 years, she sort of defers to me as the expert.  Which I, in no way feel like.  Especially in a dire circumstance such as that.]  If the prognosis was poor or grave we would say our goodbyes.  If the vet said fair, we would do all things necessary, no matter the money or sleeplessness or time involved.  Options were presented:

-Should I have taken Sloppy to emergency that night?

-Should I have taken the O2 cage home and tried to let everything leave her system?

-Would she just turn a corner given more time (24-48 hours)?

-Or would she just suffer?

Finally, I asked the prognoses.  Poor in the short term and grave long term.  And I had my answer.  So then it fell upon me to make Cool understand, convince her the right choice to make, support her best I could, and give Sloppy as best of a last moment as possible.  But still, I had doubt.  It was difficult to keep to my initial parameter of prognosis to dictate what to do.  And I knew suspected (I know nothing definitively) I had played a part in the rapid down-turn, which made everything worse.

Bottom line is everyone was trying to help Sloppy.  And sure maybe some wrong choices were made.  But it’s so easy to see them looking backward, already knowing the outcome now.  You re-think every decision you made and didn’t and it could really make a person crazy.  And what’s the point of that?  What’s done is done and Sloppy is gone anyway.  I just hope she realizes how much she was loved. . .  Sloppy-Joe, I love you and we miss you <3

I Have Nothing to Say

But I looked at my pending drafts and wasn’t feeling them.  Also, I wanted to post something more reflective of my current mood than the post at the top:  Hopeful, motivated.

Since school got out I have been striving to re-organize the apartment.  The ultimate goal is to rearrange the living room (plus weird “dining room” cove).  Sloppy needs her litter box, food, and water closer to her home-base–the electric throw blanket.  As she is going potty anywhere she sits, because of the long (unprotected) walk she must take across the room.  It’s not her fault, it’s mine.  I know she’s a hyper-handy, and scared of the baby and I put her stuff waaaay over there (out of my site) anyway.  It looks a lot better, but poo on the carpet doesn’t.  And as a lessor motivation, Cool has some serious cord chaos issues that need my touch.

BUT in order to rearrange, I have to get some things out of the living room.  We never really fit well into this 1 bedroom apartment, and have only accumulated more things since we got here.  So it is mission–get rid of things.  And organize what’s left.  And in order to do THAT I have to clean the towel closet.  But in order to do THAT, I have to get the clothes and camping and bags out of it.  And in order to do THAT I have to clean the coat closet.  But to accomplish THAT, I have to get the clothes, luggage, snow shovel(?), out of there.  So in order to do THAT I have to clean Cool’s closet and finally, the hugest job (I have the most clothes in the house), MY closet.  So to help Sloppy, I have to clean 4 closets, rearrange the bedroom, take things out of the living room/dinning room, and finally, move furniture in the living room.

Got all that?  So I’m finished with 3.5 of 4 closets so far.  And of course, you can’t just organize–cleaning should be done while you go.  Note to self:  Never, never, never stick duct tape to glass while taping plastic and blankets to the single pane sliding glass door in the winter, because you will then have to stand there scraping it off millimeter by millimeter for a thousand hours.  Why did I EVER think that was a great idea in a rental?  Also, as a second note to self:  Do not volunteer to clean the crummy, 5 years of accumulation of crap that no one ever looks at, dusty, dirty, cluttered basement at work when you are in the midst of a huge spring cleaning project at home.  It will quickly wear you out and make you feel burned out and lazy.

So the process has been hard work!  But I’m still not ready to sit and study yet.  I am, however, past ready to go outside into the delayed, long-awaited summer weather and run and play.

Discouraging Thoughts

This from 2 (or so) weeks ago:

For some reason this morning I woke up wanting to be in Colorado already.  I don’t know why.  Nothing really happened.  Not the weather–that sucks everywhere.  Nothing at work or school.  No fight or strife.  There was no catalyst -I just woke up wanting to be somewhere else.  Which requires having a marketable skill aside from vet peon.  Which means getting in and through some upper-level school.

So I go to the UNC page (which is NOT user-friendly) and try to find transfer information.  Or AuD or even SLP masters pre-reqs.  To no avail.  But I did see the AuD program is 2.33 years of course work then another 1.66 years of internships, externships, and teaching.  Four years feels like forever.  And that’s just WHEN I’m admitted to the program–I’m not even to that point yet.  And it’s 1.5-2 years before that even happens.  Every time I go to the CO AuD page, it makes this path I’m on seem so loooong, progress so slow, and ultimate degree feel so unlikely.

I will be 31 or 32 before I get out of Spokane.  Which I guess gives me time to save loads of money.  And I will be 33-34 before I get to step outside of the classroom.  And that puts me at mid-thirties before I even think about landing a job, and being a big girl.  Thinking about all those school loans accruing and the interest adding only makes things seem worse.

So I will focus on the positive:  For every semester I’m in school, I will get loans.  Which enable me to work veterinary hospitals PART time, which does make a huge difference in my morale.  I sort of get summers off when I am not in classes, but still only work part time.  And that’s nice.  And Even 6 or up to 8 years waiting for school is better than a life-time of veterinary assisting.  That makes less than a decade feel substantially shorter.

Besides, what would I be doing anyway, that I’m not doing now if I were in my stable career?  I like the sentiment that the time will pass either way.  So what’s the difference if I’m still struggling to get into a career?  There’s nothing in particular I want to do today.  So I guess I shouldn’t rush things or feel retarded in my progress.

I am working, the best I know how and the fastest my finances will allow.  I am getting the 4.0 I know I need and that makes me feel VERY hopeful.  I will do it right this time and play the game.  And these stats make me feel great:

Speech Disorders:  A+

Anatomy, Fall 2012:  98.76% [A+]

Language Development, Fall 2012:  97.45% [A+]

Language Impairment, Spring 2013:  96.3% [A+]

Speech Sciences, Spring 2013:  99.2% [A+]

That’s not for you, and not bragging–just a little something to uplift MYSELF and remind me that I’m not just treading water, and wasting my time.  I’m accomplishing something–however slow.

No April Progress Report

I don’t want to talk about missing the mark again this last month. Looking at failures over and over can bring a person down and make you want to give up.  So in light of REALLY wanting to achieve the goals I have set for myself this year here is how I can set myself up for success in May, through the summer, and in the long-term:

-I will floss my teeth earlier in the day.  Even if I feel tired, I will at least run the floss quickly through my mouth.  Even if I feel I’m not doing an optimum job.  Because somethimes I don’t because I feel too tired to give my best effort so I think–why bother.  BUT  It’s the repetition that will turn this into a daily must-do.

-I will look up recipes I want to cook, list those ingredients, and go Sunday morning to the Grocery Outlet and get the ingredients.   This will keep me excited to eat at home–and it will ultimately be cheaper.

-As a hybrid eat more economically, and do nice things with and for Cool, I will try to have a theme once a month.  This first weekend off of school is camping.  We will sleep in the living room, make microwave s’mores, banana boats, and maybe fondue some brots in cheese.  And shish-ka-bobs!  Those are awesome and festive and I like to look at them and eat them.  Next, is spa weekend retreat (at hotel C-LA-ul) can be a brunch, breakfast for dinner, homemade facial masks, sauna, massage, foot soak, and manicures.  Fun at home.  On the cheap.  And together time.  Festive!

-Cool and I will make a list of outdoor activities, crafting, projects, and pseudo-events (faux-Labor Dave Weekend with DVDs and dancing at home) we want to actively engage in.

-Instead of trying NOT to drink, I will try to drink a variety of things.  This will fill me so full of liquid there will hardly be room for alcohol.  Part two of this is to increase beauty, crafting, and cleaning so there isn’t the TIME to fill either.  I think it will be a lot easier trying to fill my belly and my day rather than trying to avoid food/drink/activities.  What’s left will all be in moderation, and special, and cheaper.

-I will do all the volunteering, organization, cleaning, DIY, gifting, moving preparedness, and studying tasks over the summer.  And cleaning and organizing.  And consolidating.  Operation:  Get rid of $hit, down-size, and make for a manageable one-bedroom apartment living and moving scene–commence!

-I will read magazines, and one actual book (for enjoyment) a month.  I can read every night prior to sleeping, and also at lunch (when I’m not getting ahead for school), plus some park-reading.  I will utilize my library card!  Hopefully I’ll read a bunch.  And I will begin blogging more frequently again–and maybe even edit.  Maybe.  Let’s not get carried away.

-I will brush shave the cats when we get a shedding situation and play with the kitties more, as well as put my best effort into the litter-box situation. I have a drawing of the living room and I cut out scaled furniture items and am working on the game-plan.  Sloppy needs a straight shot to her toilet and food that is near her electric throw blanket and protected from the baby–but away from MY electronics, books, and special items.  And kitchen.  And I will pay off their bill and update their vaccines–people that work at vet hospitals are THE worst about keeping up with their pet’s routine things!

-Obviously, I will hit my running goals, get back into the Wii Fit, and try circuits more whole-heartedly now that I have a little time.  I will do a little each day, early in the day, and whether I feel like it or not.

-I will try to get into a schedule that addresses each of these areas daily to establish a healthier, more goal-oriented routine that is easy to maintain once time is short again.  I work best from a routine, so I just need to establish one early on in the summer.