Independent Woman

16 Dec

I told Cool that if I ever lose the use of my legs or need diapers to euthanize me. That is how important my independence is to me.

So I’m very skeptical I would like to be in the military. I know full-well that the affordable housing, job opportunities, and paid tuition–come at a cost.  Once you sign on that dotted line the government owns you.  You are no longer a free agent.  Sure, they’ll say that they try to accommodate you, but when it comes down to it–you are going to do what the military tells you to do, and that’s it.

I feel guilty about being stubborn against this idea.  But I’m reminding myself that yes, it’s absolutely ok to be stubborn about your own life–I am the one who has to live it.  I don’t have to justify my choices to anyone.

Enter my well-meaning parents.  They are worried about how I’m going to pay for graduate school.  I am also super-worried.  They feel like the solution to ALL my problems is going into the Navy.  Which, I could do.  And I’d like to follow in my father’s footsteps, and I’d be honored to serve my country.  BUT the logistics just do not work out for what I want in my life.  But they won’t listen to me.  They don’t hear my concerns, they just think I’m making an uninformed stubborn choice.  And I can tell saying no about this is stepping into a landmine.  It’s going to hurt the good place my relationship with my parents has finally gotten to.  Which sucks!  It was hard work getting to this better place with them.  School funding/Navy is a point of contention, for sure.  Except–you should not join the military for someone else, and you should never do it out of guilt–which is what I would be doing.  I did look into it and here is why it just isn’t going to work for me at this point in my life:

-It’s an 8 year commitment!

That’s a long time.  That’s all 4 years of school AND 4 more.  There is a lot of opportunity for being moved around.  A lot of dealing with less then optimal conditions.  And 8 years to worry about my little family and my own survival.

-I would have to be separated from my family.  

That’s what I have.  It’s my whole support system.  Cool wouldn’t be traveled around with me (more on this later), and I’m sorry if that makes me weak and a whiner–I want to be with her.  Maybe other people can live apart from their mate, but I never want to.  Also, Kitties cannot go to bootcamp, nor to officer training, or to different countries–and moving them around to different states would be difficult at best.  After being separated from them in Seattle–I want my pets to live with me.  I love them and they are my responsibility.

-I am gay.  And this poses many problems:

–Cool and I aren’t married because I think it’s an antiquated tradition, she would ruin my good credit, and I figure why bother when the benefits depend what state you’re in at the time.  In the military, they try to ensure married couples remain together–they could care less about what the law considers a roommate.

–So She and I would have to be apart.  When and how would I see her?  And where would she live?  How would she afford it?  What if her bipolar flared up as it does and things went terribly wrong?  I wouldn’t be there.  That doesn’t work for me.

–Also, being gay may be legal in the military, but that isn’t the same thing as being accepted.  It’s a lot to ask of me to hide a fundamental aspect of who I am.  But if I didn’t I could be teased, hazed, harassed, or even raped.  I want no part of that–and who could blame me?

-I do not want to involve a recruiter

to get specific answers to my questions I have to call a recruiter.  Which I don’t want to do.  They give you the hard-sell.  They gloss over the bad parts and emphasize the good, so you really have to read the fine print anyway.  They spam you!  I don’t want constant phone calls or mailers pressuring me.

-I’m fearful about the training and expectations.  

I’m not sure I’d like getting screamed at.  With work, I could do the physical stuff, but I in no way want to take my gas mask off for such and such amount of time like you have to in the Navy.  I might be capable of doing it, but I think I would be very unhappy and stressed about it.

-I don’t like travel.  

Basic is 2 weeks in some cold, Great Lake state.  Officer training is in RI–for a month.  You have to spend such and such time per year training who knows where.  They promise you during your service they try to put you where you want to be, but let’s be real, if the government needs you somewhere they’re going to put you there, whether it works for you or not.  And on relatively short notice.  Plus, I have bathroom privacy and hygiene standards that cannot be accommodated in a military lifestyle.  I need a (warm) shower EVERY day!  And a private bathroom stall (with American plumbing) and a door and a fan.

-I don’t want stress, trauma, or long term effects like my dad (and many, many others) have

I’m sensitive,  I don’t want to undergo emotional trauma, physical abuse, and I would be suicidal if I went through the sexxual abuse common in the military and in the Middle East.  I also don’t want PTSD which is a very real side-effect of service.

-I don’t want to risk my LIFE

I also have NO interest of traveling abroad–especially the Middle East.  And I read they are starting to put Audiologists on the forefront of actions because of portable equipment.  Before they mostly did noise-prevention and VA stuff, but with accessible equipment, the government can stop sending soldiers to the closest sound booth (in Germany) after explosions and check them right on the front lines.  That means audiologists are on the front lines.

-And bottom line, the money/perks just aren’t that great.

I can get better stipends from my school, or at the very least loans that don’t involve travel and put my life on the line.  I will find a job once I’m out of school, and I could still do noise-prevention or VA work as a civilian.

I’m going to have to put my foot down to my parents, and I hope it doesn’t cause a big, ugly scene.  But better that then ruining what I want for my life.  I’ll just have to find another way to finance my education.  This is about me and what I want, and nobody–even my parents–gets to demand what path I take.  I just hope they can understand that I’m not just being rebellious, I actually researched and see many reasons why that’s not what I want. . .

A Very Uncommon Name

10 Dec

I know–you thought I had stopped blogging altogether. I have just 2 lectures and 2 finals left this semester–actually in finishing my post-bac! As soon as I’m finished with Riverpoint I’ll be back full-force. Until then, I found an interesting meaning to my name.

the symbolic laurel meaning deals with:

Glory
Victory
Nobility
Immortality
Intellectual superiority
Second Sight (the gift of prophecy)
Recognition (renown) of High Achievement
Long-term Vision (“big picture” understandings)

is kicked off primarily from the ancient Latin word laurus which means triumph/success/victory. The Latin moniker for the laurel plant is laurus nobilis, which accentuates the theme of high honor as nobilis is a term meaning nobility/regal status.

So what’s the big deal about the laurel plant?

We can look to Greco-Roman mythology for insights where Apollo was interminably and hopelessly in love with Daphne. And, in spite of his endless wooing, Daphne would have none of Apollo’s advances (in part, due to Cupid’s “reverse-action” arrow shot at Daphne which made her loathe Apollo).

Daphne’s dad, Peneus, observed Apollo’s unmerciless pursuit of his daughter and how it made her so weary. Being the kind-hearted father he was, he decided to offer Daphne a break from Apollo’s over-exuberance by transforming her into a laurel tree.

Seeing this, Apollo proclaimed the laurel tree forever sacred, forever a plant of divine status. And this, is where we see our ancient forebears creating wreaths of laurel leaves – the symbol of crowning glory and achievement as rewarded to the winners of those who have undergone Olympic challenges.

The laurel acknowledges higher accomplishment of the soul – and did so way before it was recruited as a sign of physical prowess as we see in ancient Olympic games.

Laurel leaves were used to adorn people with distinctly precious and uncommon insights. Furthermore, the mark of the laurel could only be worn by those who used their higher knowledge and spirituality to serve the public in beneficial ways.

And so, only the best, the most cunning and most noble in heart and deed were given the honor of wearing the laurel. Supreme priests, priestesses, prophets, poets, heroes and royalty would be adorned with laurel – but only if they commanded their gifts of intellect and willpower in honorable ways.

These chosen few tacitly lived by the old adage “with great power comes great responsibility” – they gave of their insight selflessly because it was their responsibility to do so – and upon these noble souls where the mantle of laurel shall rest.

I particularly love ancient Chinese views of the laurel meaning. In Chinese myth, the laurel plant is associated with the moon, and so shares its themes of femininity, intuitive power and immortality.

Within the moon lives the Jade Rabbit (interestingly, Chinese symbolism of jade is very auspicious and deals with fortune, luck, wealth and status). The Jade Rabbit is a very clever herbalist and is always busy with mortar and pestle, grinding up sacred mixtures to supply the elixir of immortality to those who are worthy of it. Laurel is said to be one of the secret ingredients used by this ancient rabbit chemist.

This may come from Chinese legend claiming one of the eight Immortals lived in the laurel bush. Hé Qióng, the Sacred Virgin and one of the eight Immortals picked laurel leaves and supplied them to the Jade Rabbit – this act is profound in symbolism – it speaks of tenderness, cooperation, feminine power, tradition and abiding by the infinite quality of both Time and Nature.

These are just some thoughts about laurel meaning, as well as the laurel’s ties to the name Laura.

As you can see from this short entry, symbolic laurel meaning is rife with import, and those who bear its name (in whole, or in part) will share these incredibly vibrant flavors in deed and personality.

Nov Goal Accountability

30 Nov

Short and Sweet, because as you’ve noticed by the lack of posting,  I’m short on time.

coffee owl

Maintenance Goals (from 2013):

-floss daily. D

skipped several days because I got home late and was tired.

-drink water.  B-

I fell short on my 12 cups on 2-3 days, and have been getting them in pretty late most other days.  But I’m usually getting them in.

-read for pleasure.  F-

Not a thing.

-weekly massage.  F-

Not a thing

-abstain from drinking. A++

Not a thing, and no desire to.

-study habits.  B+

That’s mostly what I’m doing.  But I did rebel during Thanksgiving BREAK by procrastinating on both of my assigned projects.

January=fitness.  A+

Still running a mile a day.  And now running it uphill to get ready for the Snow Stomp–snowshoe race uphill.

Feb=have gratitude; say nice things.  C

Neither bad, nor good.

March=straighten out sleep.  F

This night schedule is killing me, and now I’m just waiting for the semester to be over so I can break even on sleep.  I HATE being a night person!

April=save $$$.  F

It’s gearing up for Christmas time.  But I am house-sitting over Christmas and I’ll be taking on more work hours.  So–postponed.

May=volunteer.  F-

Not even close to a thing.  No time.

June=Cool.  A-

The new meds are awesome!  We are getting along famously again.

July=my appearance.  D

I up-graded because I wore a cute outfit today.  Makeup, hair, and jewelry are not happening at all.

Aug=Worry Less, Thank more.  D

My car had many problems, school finances are weighing on my mind, and end of the semester craziness is bringing me down.

Sept=make a list, grocery shop, cook ahead.  F-

I am reaching into a bow of wheat thins.  This will have to wait until the semester is finished.

Oct=don’t over-pluck.  A

No worries, no time.  Probably the opposite.

Nov=Increase eye contact.  F

I have a real problem.

Oct Goal Accountability

30 Oct

Maintenance Goals (from 2013):

-floss daily.

Unfortunately no.  I slipped a few nights because I was tired.  Or because I forget to do it at 4PM before I go to work.  It doesn’t make sense to do it before I eat.  But sometimes at midnight, I’m just so done for that I can’t manage it.  In November, I’m going to try to do it every night no matter what.

-drink water.Kidron's post b-day pics 035

I’ve had 7-16 glasses every day.  I never expected to be able to drink so much, and I certainly didn’t expect chapped lips and concentrated urine if I had “only” 10 glasses.  I’m going for 12/d next month–to help flush all the sugar out of my body.

-read for pleasure.

Not even close to a thing.  Reading notes and textbooks is as far as I’ve taken it.  Plus, I no longer lie awake for any length of time before bed.  My head hits the pillow between 12:30 and 1AM and it’s right to sleep.  I’ll do double-time reading when the semester is over.

-weekly massage.

Also not a thing.  Our schedules are late-night now, so there is no awake time to do so.  I think in November we could manage this on Sunday.  Though I’m notoriously dead-tired that day.  It’s not fair, I feel more hung over from post-work then I did as a drinker.  Fatigue, body soreness, mental tiredness, and UNproductive is how my Sundays have been going lately.

-abstain from drinking.

Even though fall-brews are my favorite beer, especially pumpkin ales, I’ve abstained.  As a result, I’ve treated myself to waaaaaaaaaaay too much candy, caramel dip, Pizza Hut, and junky, shitty food that makes me feel more tired then I already am.  I shouldn’t have to feel totally punished and go without everything though!  It’s bad enough I have to work on Halloween (4:30PM-12:30AM) to add insult to injury.

-study habits.dissecting Eugene 068

You see, MY things haven’t changed.  But about at the halfway point of the semester, both my professors simultaneously realized class was moving too slow to get through the material.  So my phonetics exam got moved 5 weeks sooner and out transcriptions tests got pushed closer as well.  So it’s test after test in that class.  Literally–every class session is a test.  And we got to microneurology which is intense and has a vocab all it’s own, so my teacher has been doing the sneaky–learn this at home, memorize that chart on your own time, and study this power-point on your own.  In essence double-tripling the amount of material we will be tested on without taking any class time to go over it.  This sucks, and double-triples my test-prep and study-time for that class.  Add in tutoring demand and transcriptions for my professor friend–I feel like all I’m doing is school and work.  I’ll be relieved when the semester is over–and yet I’m not stressed out?!  I can’t explain this either.  Very busy, but not overwhelmed. . .

January=fitness.

October has been not so good on the eating front.  And because life has me so busy, I started running the mile as fast as I could muster (8.5-9 min on average) which was not so fast.  So I lot at least a min of speed since the summer, and because I was trying to rush through, no incline.  I changed my lazy ways and started running on incline again when I noticed my love handles re-appear.  They had been a staple of my body since puberty, but had disappeared as of late.  Well, apparently, it was thanks to daily treadmilling incline they had.  So now I’m jogging up a hill while looking at my notes.  I promise to be so much better in November and try to add in produce and stick with chicken and rice and such to feel better again.  Sugar is getting heavily reduced!

Feb=have gratitude; say nice things.

Only so-so.  I do fall asleep immediately now, so I can’t list what I’m thankful for prior to sleep.  But I have been tending to wake up in the early morning, and recite the positive things to fall back asleep.  I’ve gotten annoyed by inefficiency at work and I need to chill out and let them do things their way–even if they don’t make sense and are slower then need be.  What do I care?

March=straighten out sleep.

I think as long as I have both this job and school it’s not all that possible.  I am trying to maintain a strict routine, and even have the cats trained to it.  The time-change will put a crimp in our style, but we’re getting ready for that early (and slowly) so it doesn’t whack us out.  In November I’m going to do my best to sleep in until at least 9AM since I’m now a night person.

April=save $$$.thumbs up poster

Now that I’m making money this should be easier.  But I bought a discounted snowboard at the swap, which will save tons of money in the long run, but didn’t allow me to put any aside in October.  I also found out that my big plan to take half-time credits in order to get another loan disbursement and keep my undergrad loans on forbearance is made impossible by the loan companies.  You have to take at least 6 credits towards a degree.  And since I’ve completed all the post-bac courses, there’s nothing left “towards my degree.”  Total bummer–and a game-changer for spring semester.

May=volunteer.

What was I thinking?  No way will this be possible.  But next semester (when I’m not a student) I do want to shadow an AuD.

June=Cool.

New meds are making life great again.  When Cool is her old self, things are wonderful.  She went through a mania earlier in the month, but we recognized it early on and followed the proper medication changes, and things have calmed down nicely.  I hope this version of Cool gets to stay a long, long time! *crosses fingers*  It’s easy to compliment her and get along well when we’re not dealing with bipolar moods, anxiety symptoms, or medication side-effects.

July=my appearance.

Also not a thing.  And fuck my circle of gray hair that won’t remain dyed for long at all.  Am I supped to dye my damn hair every 2 weeks?!  I am in too much of a hurry for jewelry or makeup on most days also.  I don’t care what I look like at work, since I’m just scrubbing toilets anyway.  In November, I’ll try to put on quick makeup/perfume/jewelry (one of those things) for class at least.

Aug=Worry Less, Thank more.

I got slightly stressed out about work, but I realize that stressing out about this particular job is a waste.  I don’t always have to overachieve, don’t always have to rise to the top, and don’t always have to strive to make things run better.  My new plan is to fly under the radar, do my time, then move.  Who cares if some things are stupid?  Not me.

Sept=make a list, grocery shop, cook ahead.dissecting Eugene 027

Ha ha.  Now that I’m a night person (and am working/exhausted Thursday-Sunday) I have no idea when to shop.  Cool does a good job getting items we ran out of at Safeway, but it’s not the same as generating a menu, making a list, and going to Grocery Outlet together with a list.  I do not have high hopes for the rest of the semester though.  Maybe we can at least make a manu. . .

Oct=don’t over-pluck.

If anything, I have been under-plucking.  When I’m home I’m pretty much incapacitated by soreness and tiredness, so no worries.

Nov=Increase eye contact.

I am naturally terrible at this.  Trouble is, I don’t realize it’s happening until AFTER the encounter is completely over.  I need to think about it before or during in November.

“Criminal Minds” is a Sausage-Fest

28 Oct

The show is centered around all the males, for sure.  They get the most time, have the best story lines, the most fleshed-out background stories.  They’re the ones most physically capable, leading the chase, and that are most clever.  It’s not right.  And I can see maybe adding some realism–because a lot of those jobs are a boys’ club, but c’mon this is ridiculous.

Elle never had a chance.  She barely got lines, let alone any central role.  Her character didn’t get a personality/backstory until they were in the process of writing her out of the show.  After Elle left, the writers made an “effort” to play up JJ and Garcia’s characters.  Which meant show JJ being a head-case over small town stuff, be a high-maintenance girlfriend, and of course, start a family.  Cause that’s what women are good for.

Garcia has fared somewhat better, at least getting to DO something important and crucial on the show.  Though the writers have taken pains to show she’s always on the sidelines, out of the main action, and too sensitive to handle the tough stuff.  Also, they make her quirky so much that it takes away any seriousness from what she does.  And they make sure to have her act unprofessional just to drive home that she doesn’t really belong.

Prentice got on the show, and got to chase the bad guys, but her character was never fleshed out either.  We never knew her story, never saw her personal life, and we never really got a feeling for who she was.  Until they began writing her out of the show.

They thought they could find a random blonde to fill in for JJ and Prentice when they tried to axe them both at the same time.  PS the audience doesn’t want a random piece of eye candy–we want balance.  And they never bothered to explain why she was staying with the team.  Externship?  Scholarship?  She was only there to help with 1 case.  Then she came on for a 2nd b/c they had written her sucking so much on the 1st.  But why did she keep coming back?  We never did find out.  And in real life it would probably be against the rules and a liability–not to mention impractical with a full course load and field training.  But whatever–she was blonde, right?  And to make it totally disgusting she was always making eyes at Rossi, at least 20 years her senior–which would be a major ethical dilemma for him.  So I’m glad that storyline never came to fruition. . .  And they made her bad-ass the first 4 seconds we met her–then never showed anything like that again.  They made her a crummy agent despite the power-house 1st scene.  The blonde never added anything–except bad acting to the show.  And just as suddenly as she was brought in to the show, she was removed, with barely an explanation.

And after the audience complained loudly, they brought back JJ and Prentice for season 7.  But at the end of season 7, suddenly Prentice was all–I don’t want to buy this house, and being with you guys never felt right from the beginning.  The producers apparently think we have severe memory loss.  Prentice worked her way into the BAU through her personal connections, she was almost killed multiple times and each time she said it’s still where she belonged.  When they tried to kill her off the first time, then she came back–the group was surprised.  But she said she came back because she belonged with BAU.  So this–it never felt right business is NOT going to fly with me!

What’s really happening is the show is still trying to save money, and of course they see the women as most expendable.  Rossi actually came on last, and the audience still doesn’t connect with him, but you don’t see HIS job constantly in perile.  The producers think that because they gave Hodge a GF suddenly, that it will be enough females.  Except they are wrong.  A fringe character, dependant on the role of the central male isn’t good enough.  The audience wants to see women in central roles, just as tough, smart, and integral to the show as all the men.  And a recurring (part-time) girlfriend with hardly any lines, let alone plot lines isn’t enough.

So despite enjoying the show, I hate the way the women are portrayed and I hate even more that the producers find them expendable.  Give us an equal amount of women that challenge and even exceed (sometimes) when the men on the show are capable of.  And stop making them whiny, head-cases with fringe parts, and are first-chopped.

Infuriating!

27 Oct

I just wrote a blog post.  And published it–got the note at the top of the page saying it had been published and everything.  And it was just gone.  Not posted, not a draft, nowhere.  So I back-back-backed my way to this, and it’s blank.  That is one thing I do NOT miss about the Myspace blog days.  You couldn’t trust it not to erase all your work, so you had to write on a word doc and transfer it = pain.  Don’t start with that business, WordPress!  Anyone else having these probalems?  It’s never happened to me on here before this month. . .

dissecting Eugene 046So to recap I had told you I’m sorry for not posting.  I’ve been terribly busy.  And I felt guilty for leaving you hanging, and worried everyone would leave.  I told you I’d be back full force after my semester.  For now it’s a little crazy trying to get my obligations in check while fighting my sleep schedule.

And so help me–if this post is gone without a trace, I’ll scream!  Now, I cry because I have to work on Halloween, I’m eating too much sugar lately, and I still have homework, but I’m super-sleepy.

There’s Some Glitch?

15 Oct

What is happening with WordPress right now?  I keep trying to write a new post,and it keeps freezing and making my cursor invisible, then I can do nothing on the page.  No other tab is acting up, it’s just this site.  I reloaded the page and it did the same thing.

Anyway, I took my big exam this morning.  I studied really hard for it, and felt like I knew everything we covered in class.  I knew my big probably would be reading the questions carefully, answering all the parts of each questions, and not accidently writing a wrong term or direction or some easy error.  The test felt very easy.  I think the prof tries to make different levels of questions:  Easy, intermediate, and advanced.  Except, I feel like the easy and intermediate ones are hand-fed to us.  So that whether you studied or not you could ascertain the answer from hints given, reading other test questions, or other tactics.  And then, the advanced questions are things she wants us to extrapoloate from information given in class–read things not explicitly taught.  So I go in to the test hoping to recall everything on the notes and in the readins, so I have some wiggle room on things I’ve never encountered in my life.  And the advanced questions are fine, but I think she needs to make the medium questions harder, because it’s not right that someone who didn’t study can get the same grade as me (who put a lot of effort into the class).   I guessed wrong on a 4 point(!) hydrocephaly (never mentioned) short answer.  I said meninges were the structure, when I should have guessed ventricles.  So it’s an automatic 93%.  And after all my studying (and an EASY test), I’m not super-happy with that. . .

On a slightly different topic–well, still the brain we got tickets to the snowboard swap.  It will be most practical buying snowboards and boots here, then using them in Salt Lake, Colorado, or Tahoe ie big, expensive, world-renowned snow-sport locations.  And I’m a big believer they need to increase helmet usage here, so I guess I’m putting together a group to talk about traumatic brain injury and the importance of helmets.  I’m not sure how I because the leader on it other then we’re going and I see a need and think it’s important.  But I suppose since I’m suggesting we go, I ought to volunteer some time too.  We’ll see how it goes–I e-mailed the people putting on the event as well as my classmates.  I don’t have high-hopes for a response.  But if anyone follows up, it will be a useful thing.

I started watching “Desperate Housewives” on Netflix, just while Cool is at work–we watch “Criminal Minds” but only together.  You see, I like to watch something when I eat.  Anyway, it’s kind of a soapy, kind of a drama/comedy.  What I already don’t like is the men on the show.  Total tool-bags!  Carlos thinks he owns Gabby, and is a total Momma’s boy, always taking her side over his wife.  The poor twins’ mom who is obviously overwhelmed, was made to give up her (more successful) career, is saddled with 99% of the household/kid responsibility, and her dope-husband does things like invite over company for a formal dinner without telling her, and with only 2 days notice.  Bri’s husband doesn’t appreciate anything she does for him, is always putting her down and griping, and is cheating.  I’m not impressed with how the writers have the women treated on this show.  Like they just have to put up with all this crap, and it’s normal.  I say these capable, beautiful, smart women could do a lot better then these jerks!  Plus, I’m never a big fan of obvious eating disorders for a whole cast–when they are role models for women.

I got a flu shot last Thursday.  Which I never have before, and have always railed against.  I NEVER get the flu.  If I get sick at all (which I haven’t since 2008) I get a head-cold.  Anyway, because I’m in closed-air, close quarters with so many people, and tons of kids–cleaning, at ground zero–I decided to this year.  My school did them for free last Thursday.  The site was a little tender that night, but I used it–to sort of work it through.  By that night, it felt just fine.  And I thought I did too.  Friday I was tired.  Saturday I felt crummy.  Like muscle soreness, but deep, deep inside.  And it was exhausting to even walk to the kitchen.  I couldn’t have stood on my feet all afternoon/night, let alone complete vigorous locker room cleaning–I had to call in sick to work!  Which also rarely happens.  Maybe I had a vaccine reaction?  Because I’m so new, I don’t have any sick time accrued, but my boss let me “trade.”  So I have to make up 8 hours sometime.  Being a worrier, I want to get that done sooner, rather then later, so I’m working tonight.  I already have to go for a child abuse prevention training, so I figure I might as well.  Besides, there’s never a better time then after an exam and before we get new material.  Those are my free-est, most stress-free times.  But it does mean I will have to be at work (until midnight) 4 days in a row, which as a morning person just might kill me.

If I’m alive I’ll write after the streak is over.

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