Archive | February, 2009

Nix the Red & Pink. . . And Save Some Green [Anti-Valentine’s #3]

10 Feb

You’ve heard all of my arguments against Valentine’s Day.  I write the blog year after year, trying to convince my readers not to celebrate such a foolish day. . .  I’m still surprised so much of the world embraces this day without hesitance.  I find the entire thing appalling, but my denunciations on Hallmark’s holiday, Febreuary 14th have created much controversy.  It isn’t my opinions that should be refuted, it’s a world that defends such a superficial guise and calls it a holiday celebrating love.  Polemic or not, go back and read the yearly blog—the points are still valid.

Maybe you STILL love the day.  You have celebrated it (because society told you to) for this many years and it is your usual routine now.  You don’t care that’s it’s cliché’, trite, and shallow, you will celebrate anyway.  Let me try a different angle.  [Listen up Seattle] Valentine’s Day and other stupid holidays are bad for the environment!  Here are some creative ideas to limit your environmental impact, not to mention get off of MY nerves.

You just finished slaughtering pine trees only to throw them away in the post-Christmas cleaning frenzy—do you really need to kill flowers too?!  If we will trees and plants for every holiday we will thin our resources to the point of our own extinction.  Anyway, who needs all those overpriced roses?  Yeah, you killed a plant to celebrate canvas twirlie treeyour love—not the coolest. Instead why don’t you GIVE a tree to your lover?  If you don’t like that idea, you could PLANT a rose instead of giving a bouquet.  That plant would be far less commonplace in your yard and have less superficial overtones than a store-bought, spray-painted bouquet that you paid double for, only to die (the rose, but maybe a little piece of you too?) during the month.  Growing something is something you can both enjoy for years to come, and it benefits the environment.  Face it, loving your spouse has very little to do with making crops sparser, right?!  You could also put money towards the dwindling rain-forest, plant something in a local park, or buy carbon emissions, though that’s kind of a cheater’s way of offsetting our pollution.

Chocolate, cards, candy, and other little trinkets are (let’s face it) lame and cost a fortune.  THIS is also the reason why Valentine’s Day is advertised and promoted so much.  Do you even keep these “treasures?”  They also tend to come in plastic packaging that ends up in landfills and take eternity to break down.  I suggest forgoing all of this Lana Markscrap—and plant a little herb or organic vegetable garden together.  That’s more original, allows you two to spend quality time, and saves money in the long run.  You may also yield some stellar eatings that last way beyond February.  Cook a romantic meal from your garden, gasp, in April when we don’t have a “love holiday,” and all the expectations that go with it.  To take it even further, take a quiet and romantic walk with your beau.  Pick up trash along your path—you will feel much better than you would just by giving meaningless presents and dropping a fortune on an expensive dinner.  Or at least make artwork or a scrapbook out of the friggin’ candy packaging and eat your damn leftovers from your hackneyed candle-lit dinner, sigh. . .

The worst of all?  Stuffed animals and balloons!  It’s horrible when you have to parade around with your stuff, Maizy paintingtrying to make everyone jealous and rub this horrible day in everyone’s faces.  If your balloon flies off (maybe at the hands of an envious, single lady?) or after you’ve thrown it away, it is detrimental to the Earth.  It can kill birds and whatever else.  Already V-Day kills plants, must we attenuate the animal kingdom in the name of love as well???  Awful! Instead of being obnoxious, why don’t you and your sweetie volunteer at a soup kitchen, senior citizen’s home, or a hospital. Besides being able to show your love to some REAL sad-sacks, you may even come to realize that Valentine’s Day is pretty superficial when you see some real NEED in the world.

All my ideas will really DO something for the Earth.  An unintentional side-effect is the savings.  These ideas are imaginative ways of spending time with your love, showing them you care, and on the cheap!  You can have a less quotidian Valentine’s Day in favor of something more original and meaningful and shows longevity and confidence in your relationship—which is what we’re really celebrating on the 14th isn’t it?  Besides, all of MY ideas limit the loathsome, superficial, petty, excessive things about Valentines day.  We ALL win!….

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