Nix the Red and Pink. . . And Save some Green [posted 2-10-09]

17 Jan

You’ve heard all of my arguments against the vestige that is Valentine’s Day.  I write the blog year after year, trying to convince my readers not to celebrate such a foolish relic of a day. . .  Go back and read the yearly blog—the points are still valid.

Maybe you STILL love the day.  You don’t care that’s it’s cliché’, trite, and shallow, you will celebrate anyway.  Let me try a different angle.  Valentine’s Day and other stupid holidays are bad for the environment!  Here are some creative ideas to limit your environmental impact, not to mention get off of MY nerves.

You just finished slaughtering pine trees only to throw the remnants away in the post-Christmas cleaning frenzy—do you really need to kill flowers too?!  All those overpriced roses?  Yeah, you killed a plant to celebrate your love—not the coolest.  Instead why don’t you GIVE a tree to your lover?  If you don’t like that idea, you could PLANT a rose instead of giving a bouquet.  Growing something is something you can both enjoy for years to come, and it benefits the environment.  You could also put money towards the dwindling rainforest, plant something in a local park, or buy carbon emissions, though that’s kind of a cheater’s way of offsetting our pollution.

Chocolate, cards, candy, and other trace trinkets are (let’s face it) lame and cost a fortune.  THIS is also the reason why Valentine’s Day is advertised and promoted so much.  Do you even keep these remaining “treasures?”  They also tend to come in plastic packaging that ends up in landfills and take eternity to break down.  I suggest forgoing all of this crap—and plant a little herb or organic vegetable garden together.  That’s more original, allows you two to spend quality time, and saves money in the long run.  You may also yield some stellar eatings that last way beyond February.  Cook a romantic meal from your garden, gasp, in April when we don’t have a “love holiday,” and all the expectations that go with it.  To take it even further, take a quiet and romantic walk with your beau.  Pick up trash along your path—you will feel much better than you would just by giving meaningless presents and dropping a fortune on an expensive dinner.  Or at least make artwork or a scrapbook out of the friggin’ candy packaging and eat your damn leftovers from your hackneyed candle-lit dinner, sigh. . .

The worst of all?  Stuffed animals and balloons!  It’s horrible when you have to parade around with your stuff, trying to make everyone jealous and rub this horrible day in everyone’s faces.  If your balloon flies off (maybe at the hands of an envious, single lady?) or after you’ve thrown it away, it is detrimental to the Earth.  It can kill birds and whatever else.  Awful!  Instead of being obnoxious, why don’t you and your sweetie volunteer at a soup kitchen, senior citizen’s home, or a hospital.  Besides being able to show your love to some REAL sad-sacks, you may even come to realize that Valentine’s Day is pretty superficial when you see some real NEED in the world.

All my ideas will really DO something for the Earth.  An unintentional side-effect is the savings.  These ideas are imaginative ways of spending time with your love, showing them you care, and on the cheap!  It also is more original and meaningful and shows longevity and confidence in your relationship—which is what we’re really celebrating on the 14th isn’t it?  Besides, all of MY ideas limit the loathsome, superficial, petty, excessive things about Valentines day.  We ALL win!….

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