Archive | 8:06 PM

“Cable-Guy” I Watch Enough TV to Know Better

1 Jan

I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid or if my fear is justified. Let me just start out by saying I like living alone. I’m NEVER scared. When I’ve had roommates that were frightened, I thought they were just being ridiculous. . . Here’s the story, judge for yourself.

It’s 8 pm and I’m reading a book. I am interrupted from the quiet–this is rare in my place as you can hear every little noise in the hallway: Tramping footsteps up the stairs, knocking on other apartment doors, talking, etc. . . Anyway, I’m interrupted from the quiet by a knock on my door–I’m not expecting anyone. I look out the peephole and see a man I don’t know. I used to open the door all the time.  I felt obligated to at least talk to the person at my door.  I used to feel a little dramatic if I didn’t at least open the door a crack.  Just that day though, I had decided that was not a smart thing. . .  I ask through the door, “Can I help you?” He says he is from MediaCom and needs to come in. He isn’t wearing a uniform and warning signals in my head are going off.  I don’t open the door (I’m not stupid–anymore, that is!). He continues, “We’re doing some work in the attic and need to check your wires.” Ok, I did not call MediaCom, in fact, I have Direct TV which is evidenced by my satellite dishes on the balcony. Also, I’m not the top floor–there are people living above me–not an attic. Besides, do they really do work at 8 pm? I don’t know, but it all seemed suspicious. . . I told him (through the door) “I have Direct TV.” He said “Oh, ok.” and left the building. I didn’t hear him knock on anyone else’s door! It was creepy!!! CREEPY!!! Maybe the whole, landlord kicking my door in, episode made me overly worried, but better safe than sorry, right?


I was nervous about the incident so I called MediaCom last night. It’s apperently a national number and the operator said he would be “hard pressed” to find out if they had actually sent someone. When I persisted, he said, “I don’t mean to be dismissive, but it would be difficult and time-consuming to find out if MediaCom actually sent someone.”

So if you didn’t already know (I did) that MediaCom sucks, there’s the evidence. Next step I am going to take is to ask my landlord if they approved the cable guy to come out last night. . .


I called my landlord. He said no one was authorized to do work last night. He also said MediaCom usually does work for this complex during the day. He said, it sounded suspicious to him to and to go ahead and make a police report. He told me even if MediaCom did have to do rewiring work, they wouldn’t need in any apartments (especially my floor)–they can do everything from outside. . .

So people–watch out for a 40-ish man about 6 feet tall between 170-200 lbs, claiming to be with MediaCom. Don’t let him in your apartment!


I called the police–they said I was right not to open the door-duh. The officer also agreed cable should have no need to get inside an apartment–especially if you are not a subscriber, and especially when it is in the evening. The police are going to watch my apartment complex, and there will be an officer at the complex 24/7. The officer encouraged me to give them a call if anything else like this happens or if I see the


I’m a Star

1 Jan

I’m no actor, but I got to faux wash my laundry as an extra in a movie. I also got to faux watch TV for the film. Tomorrow I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m an extra again. Actually, I’ve been famous a lot lately. My picture is on the PFLAG website, I’ve been traveling around mid-Missouri to give my trans presentation, I have been recognized all over town and on myspace as the pride fest “sticker girl,” I have been in a movie, and now I’m on the radio!

Tonight I was on KOPN, Columbia’s local radio station to talk about feminism, LGBTQQA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, questioning, ally) issues, and my presentation, “Transcend, Not Transition.” I take issue with the use of all those letters, (alphabet soup, if you will) to describe the community. It should simply be called transgender.

Segway, as the radio show host would say: The definition of transgender is anyone outside the gender norms. Norms are pretty much the 1950s outlook that women don’t work or wear pants and men don’t care for children or show emotion. Therefore, everyone is transgender. It’s an all-inclusive umbrella term that encompasses transsexual, which are people who have gender dysphoria and feel their true sex is the one opposite to the one assigned to them at birth. Anyway, I got a little off track with the background explanations.

I knew I would be a little out of my league talking on the radio. I don’t really follow politics, I have no formal education on queer issues and very little knowledge about the women’s movement, and my voice sounds like Minnie Mouse on answering machines, so I’m sure it was just more of the same for radio. I agreed to do it because I would be with Linda Hayes, who knows what she’s talking about, and because I believe it’s important to at least start a dialogue about trans issues. 50% of trans youth attempt suicide! There is the problem of lack of support from peers, teachers, and parents, and lack of legislation to protect these kids. Even if you don’t agree with whatever (which we won’t get into here *cough–ignorant*), I think it’s crazy for kids to feel so hopeless about the situation they want to kill themselves. They need someone in their corner, ie me.  In case you’re wondering my presentation will be at the CoMo PFLAG meeting, July 5th at 7 pm. Here’s a link to the website for more info:

Yeah, so if you see my face or hear my voice in the media–it’s because I’m famous now


Redneck, Trailer Trash–yeah that’s me [6-27-07]

1 Jan

At least it will be.

Ironically, I have to move back to Nevada (from Missouri) to be trailer trash.  I know it’s hard to believe–my standard of life was higher in MO!  Despite news coverage of toothless rednecks whose double wide was just hit by a tornado speaking with an accent–MO is actually really nice.  Columbia anyway.  Probably the small towns are a little closer to what the news portrays.  I’m going to leave my nice new apartment that has a balcony and a pool to live in a 5th wheel. It will be *awesome* that’s sarcasm if you didn’t notice.  I should get a lawn chair and some wife beaters and sit outside my 5thwheel with a beer and a shotgun in my hand–just to complete the stereotype. Just call me Laurel-Bob from here on out.

I mean, it’s cool.  It won’t be the best time ever, but it will make for good stories.  I am doing whatever it takes to get into vet school next year.  I made the waiting list this year (they let in 16 out-of staters and 12 pre-vet scholars) which is fairly good considering there are not a lot of spots to fill.  Anyway, I was super-scared to give my notice at work. I mean, summer is our the busiest time, and they’re already going to be short several people. Plus I do the work of 3 employees *joke* so they’ll miss me. It went better than I could have imagined though–everyone was supportive. . . To my face, which I guess I prefer anyway.

By the way, I wanna thank all of you guys for your housing suggestions and offers–it was really helpful. It’s super-cool to have a little friend network! Now my next delimma is getting my cats to the desert. A 25 hour drive with cats would be awful. I have to fly my cats to Nevada, and the airlines only let people have 1 animal at a time. Does anyone from Nevada want a free trip to Missouri? I need a friend to travel to Missouri and back to NV so both my cats can make the flight. The dates of travel are flexible, as is the length of the trip. It just needs to be in the first 2 weeks of August. If you go with me, I’ll pay for your flight and take you to see Kansas City, Columbia, and Saint Louis. It’s a pretty sweet deal. Let me know ASAP if you wanna help!


Horsing Around [6-13-07]

1 Jan

I started volunteering at Cedar Creek Riding Center today. It was a good time. I had to walk beside the horse and hold the rider’s thigh so they wouldn’t fall off. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not really a kid person. I mean, kids are fine, it’s not that I DON’T like them or anything, but I don’t coo at them or say awwww, every time I see one. I’ve never really been around little kids. I’m an only child and I didn’t do much babysitting. My parents are the ones that deal with kids all the time.

Sarah and I were paired up with a 2 year old for the first hour. She had absolutely gorgeous green eyes! She had some trouble focusing, couldn’t talk yet, and was working on posture and strength. It was really cute, she liked bright colors and could hold the reins or pet the horse. She kept dosing off so we were trying to get her to look at the other horses or at her parents to keep her awake. We had to get a lady to ride the horse behind her so the girl could stay in the sitting position. The lady asked Sarah and me if we were in high school or college. We said, “actually we’re both graduated from college.” I always get a teeny bit embarrassed when someone thinks I could be young enough for high school! Just means I’m gonna be the youngest looking 40 year old ever!!! The little girl was adorable though.

The 2nd hour, we had an 8 year old down syndrome girl. She started out kind of saucy, not wanting to wear her riding helmet and wanting to get off the horse. The two words she knew best were NO and STOP. She also complained the blanket was scratching her legs. We got her off and they gave her a soft blanket. She was still a little ornery though, saying her helmet hurt and she wanted to go home. I figured she just didn’t want to wear the helmet and was tired. When she said she had to go to the bathroom–I was like, oh she’s a smart one! She’s getting off this horse one way or another. They took her helmet off to go to the bathroom and it pulled her hair. When she came back, they put the helmet on and she said it hurt. They traded helmets and she was fine!

After that, she was a LOT easier to work with! She was pretty good natured when she was comfortable. It’s funny, she knew what she needed the whole time–we just had to listen. The only other problem was she kept leaning towards her left (the kids were both lefties I think) which was the side I was walking on. The adults in charge would ask Sarah and me to put her back in the middle, and when we tried she would resist and yell “Stop!” I don’t wanna inappropriately touch any little kids, so we would just leave her leaning towards the left. I was using all my strength to hold her on the saddle. Finally, we stopped the horse and I told her she was slipping towards me. I said you don’t wanna fall off and squish me do you? I said, scoot over–and she did. I guess it’s easy to underestimate little kids, they’re reasonable (most times) if you just tell them why you want them to do something. We would ask her if she saw the little horse in the pasture and she said she did. I told her it was tiny-tron and she repeated it (very funny coming from her mouth) and she asked if that was the horse’s name. By the end, the girl was dancing, moving her arms, and humoring me with the woot-woot hand gesture! It was a good time. I’m pretty excited for next Wednesday.

Climbing Pride Turtles [6-11-07]

1 Jan

Coming up with blog titles is a difficult chore.  You want it to be catchy and interesting and it should pertain to the blog topic.  This is all I have left in me–so Climbing Pride Turtle it is.  If you have a better idea, by all means, let me know 🙂  On to the blog though!

PrideFest was this last Saturday. Though I’m unaffiliated with the coalition this year, I volunteered to help set up on the big day. Partly I did it because I enjoy it, partly because they really need extra help (especially since their chair person didn’t show up and their president only came to get a shirt), and thirdly I helped because Linda has feet injury and doesn’t need to be doing that on her own–which she would have. I also knew when I came to help I wouldn’t have to see my ex who is extremely involved. Douche does the café so she’s locked in the “food jail” the entire day. Very easy to avoid! I helped unpack the car, put up the tent thingys, and made May-poles on every sign and bike rack I could find. You don’t care about that stuff though. I’ll tell of the interesting “circus decorating.”

I was paired with a lady I had never met to put up some flags. Sounds easy enough, right? We spotted a tree with a nice straight branch. All shrubbery was trimmed really well since it was a public park, and I’m sure they didn’t want anyone getting hurt climbing the trees. We thought we would just throw the rope over the branch–but how to secure it? We needed a ladder or chair so we could get up high and tie the flag around the branch. None were available. Here we are, in the middle of the park–me standing on the back of a perfect stranger while she had my flip-flops under her knees. There was standing (me) on shoulders (hers) as well. We did all kind of acrobatics and stunting to get those flags up there! They did look darn good when we were finished though. I can only imagine how the cleanup crew got them back down. . .

I also got to be a sticker girl for a couple of hours. It was a good time. I guess no one has ever heard the lingo jumbo-tron or tiny-tron before. I wasn’t TRYING to be funny when I gave the choice! I stickered (can sticker be used as a verb?) about 200 people. I liked the job really well too– I got to work on my tan and talk to every single person there. It was good, because I could say hey, and because I had a job to do, quickly move on before the conversation got awkward. Speaking of awkward–I had to sticker both of my exes, but it actually turned out fine–they were both on their best behavior. They were actually people a lot worse than either of them. Who doesn’t want a free sticker? Even when I said they could look awesome like me and be spirited some people refused their sticker. I would tell them it was a means of counting and they would still say no–that’s ok asshole, I’ll just wear yours for you! I think I came home with 9 stickers on my shorts because people denied the awesomeness of the sticker.

After 2 hours, I started getting really thirsty and sunburned. Normally, I could just go get my free water from the café, but I didn’t want to press my luck and visit the food jail. . . I would ask Linda if there was work to be done (in between stickering people), and she would say, go get water! Sit down and go get some water! She didn’t understand. Finally, I just had to leave because I was thirsty, oh so thirsty. Having a pool to jump into when I got home was beautiful!!! Just beautiful!

On a completely different note–I solved the mystery of road kill man downstairs. I was letting the dog out to go potty and my neighbor was butchering some animal right below my balcony–thanks for the smell. He volunteered the info without glance or question from me. He said it was a snapping turtle and it tastes better than chicken. Hmmm. He apparently he had access to 2 turtles, because when I was leaving for work Sunday afternoon there was a partially alive turtle under my balcony. The guy rode his bike to work leaving the (kicking) turtle to die slowly I guess.


Frigid [posted 12-21-08]

1 Jan

Today was the coldest day I can remember since I moved to Missouri in 2003. Does anyone remember a day when it’s been more glacial?  It was an even lower temperature then 2 years ago when we had the big blizzard that made Mizzou cancel classes for the 5th time in history.  The only other time I remember such biting weather was when I lived in Montana.  And I don’t REALLY remember that all too well, as I was a small child, and probably spent most of my time bundled up and indoors.

When I was growing up, Nevada was fairly temperate.  Sure, it got brisk when it got dark, but the super-bitter days were ones I could see my breath.  Even THAT didn’t happen often.  Back then, my winter clothes were jeans and a hoodie, so that’s what I wore to walk dogs in Missouri.  BIG mistake.  I thought I might actually die from the wintery weather the first year I was in Columbia.  I had no hats, gloves, scarves, or winter jacket.  I endured without, figuring no matter what I wore I would feel frosty in this new climate.

The next winter, I was Missouri-prepared!  I got Sampson boots with a liner, warm boots for inside, scarves, hats, leather gloves, and a Dickies outfit, which is like Carharts (sp?), but with long sleeves, zippers in the legs to make boots accessible, and zippered pockets—very fancy.  Sometimes when I lead dogs in my winter clothes, I’m actually sweating!  Not as warm as Nevada, but pretty comfortable for Missouri.

The funny thing is, I thought living in Nevada last year would give me a pleasant break from raw winters in Missouri.  Wrong!  Things had changed since I left.  I attribute it to global warming, but Nevada’s winter was just as arctic last year as the winters I had endured in Missouri—not what I had remembered from the 16 years I lived there at all!  No fair!

Back to my story:  I knew it was going to be nippy this morning when I woke up to the space heater running.  I sleep between 2 electric blankets, so I’m nice and toasty all night, and didn’t notice the draftiness.  The space heater is set to a low threshold so my pipes don’t freeze, and it only comes on if the temperature drops below that.  It had dropped waaay below my threshold—it was only 3 degrees outside when I got ready for work!

When I went out to warm up my (stupid, stupid) car, my key wouldn’t work in the door (too icy) even when dipped in boiling water.  People, thank your lucky stars for the automatic locks you probably take for granted.  When I finally got in the passenger side of my car, it didn’t want to start.  When it finally turned over (after about 100 tries) it kept making funny rrrr, rerrr sounds.  When I was at work, I was wearing my winter duds, and STILL chilly.  It was supposed to reach 18 degrees, but when I went to work the second time, it felt even sharper than it had in the morning!  The wind was gusting, making it wretched outside.

Cold weather makes me feel like a pioneer for some reason.  Does anyone else feel that way?  I feel robust and resourceful when I have to prepare for, and deal with miserably bad weather.  I feel clever when I put a sheet over my windshield so I don’t have to scrape in the morning.  I feel scrappy when I am bundled up and shoveling snow or walking dogs on the ice.  I feel like an Indian when I am optimistic even in tough weather conditions.  That’s not to say I want it to stay cold. . .  I look forward to summer, and am stoked to live in the Caribbean where it will be warm ALL the time!

Homeless [6-6-07]

1 Jan


Hey everyone!  Sorry about the impersonal mass e-mail, but I’m desperate!  I am looking for any kind of housing in Dayton, Carson, or Reno for this next school year.  Any kind or studio, apartment, house, RV, 5th wheel, etc. . .  would be fine.  The only thing is my cat has to come with me.  If you know of any housing (or think you know or even know someone who might know) please tell me by July 25th.
Thanks guys!
This is the last thing I heard from my parents:
Hi Laurel, Got your interesting call. You [and none of your pets] are welcome to stay here but we will not look for a rental or an RV as they are too expensive here.
Our advice is get a job that acually pays you something, Work and go to school partime.
It is not up to mom and I whether you go to Vet school, it is up to you. You are 23 now and make your own decisions.  And like us you have to live with choices and decisions you make.
I know this will make you mad and I am sorry. I dont think you really realize how much we really love you.
I must go now so think about it.
Love Dad and Mom


8K Run Makes Me Old

1 Jan

I’m turning 24 in a month (b-day party at Flatbranch!!!) and I’ve never felt old. On the contrary I’ve been accused of being young–12 to be exact-lol. Just kidding, that’s not the first time I’ve heard that. I’m always getting carded and Spanish Fly kept shouting out the 18-20 year old price range. I’m cool with it. Better to be young then act 40 when I’m in my 20s. Maybe I’ll live longer–or at least LOOK better when I’m actually older.

Anyway, today was the annual Jeff Shickles Memorial 8K run/walk (my yearly physical exertion). The weather was nicer than ever before. It was not hot and humid like it has been the past 3 years, it was warm with a nice breeze. I just wanna say that 8K is 5-ish miles and the course is crazy hills! The Nifong cliff will kill ya. Also, I really don’t do anything physical anymore. I don’t run, go to the gym, or anything. The extent of my exercise is walking dogs and I went swimming on Memorial Day–that’s it.

I want to mention how crazy it is that I do nothing. All through school I was super active. I was a competition clogger 8 or 9 years practicing for at LEAST 4 hours a week. I did volleyball for 3 years, was a cheerleader for 6 seasons, and did 8 years of track. I did 3 sports a year in high school, and I was in awesome shape. As a matter of fact I weighed 120 lbs my senior year of high school. I was always concerned I wouldn’t weigh under my pole. Sidenote: I was a pole vaulter and for safety reasons they label each pole with a certain weight and you have to weigh under that to jump with it. Back on track (no pun intended): Now I weigh 15-20 lbs (depending on the day) less that that–just because I lost so much muscle.

That said–the 8K gets harder each time I do it. I still finished in 60 minutes, which was my time the 2nd year I ran (the 1st year was terrible and last year I was actually in the 40-50 min. range) but it HURT. No pain in the limbs or anything, I’m just really out of shape. Maybe I’ll start running–or maybe I’ll just rent another movie 😉



Threesome at Forage & Vine [posted 5-27-07]

1 Jan

Picture this: I walk into Forage & Vine and a dude gives up his stool for me. He tells me how awesome I am. As I sit there the guy sits on the stool with me and starts to grope me. Later that same night, the guy gropes Sarah in the same bar. Brings ya back to the Trashy Snappers incident, doesn’t it?

Lemme backtrack a little. Instead of going to Soco, I went to my friend, Jacob’s 21st B-day. First of all, I dread going to Soco. Both of my (disgruntled) exes and all their friends hang out there. It is south of town really far from everything and there is a chance of checkpoints. Lastly, they charge cover and the drinks are light, yet expensive. Anyway, 21st birthday parties are a fun time, and trump Soco anytime!

Jacob was pretty much gone by the time Sarah and I got to Forage & Vine. I knew this even before seeing him. He called (it was 8 pm, by the way) and said they were at Harpos. Ten min. later he called and said they were going to Big 12. A short while later he called and said the bartender at Big 12 (later, I found out Big 12 is already closed for the summer) wouldn’t serve him so they were going to TK Brothers. I got a call a few min. later from the other Jacob, referred to from here on out as Jake to simplify things, saying the birthday boy didn’t know where they were–they were actually at Forage & Vine. So we walk in and Jacob is really happy to see Sarah and me. He had made a mark on his arm for each shot he had taken–yeah, he made it all the way to 21–27, if you count actual drinks. His arm looked like he had the tatoo of a little railroad track on it. A couple of the marks were all big and crazy. He was DONE.

As I mentioned earlier, Jacob was drunk and couldn’t even sit up, yet he managed to get handsy, in a “whoops I’m falling on the floor, I’ll grab something to catch my balance,” kind of way. I think he drunkenly got farther than Saki Guy! It’s definitely the most play I’ve had in longer than I care to mention. At the end of the night, Jacob also groped Sarah. Ha ha, what a couple of hussies, right? Getting groped in the middle of a bar–by the same dunk dude. It’s funny how guys can be completely obliterated and their hands still know where to strive for.

Jacob was very difficult to understand in his drunkenness. He kept saying ¾, ¾ I think it started out as me asking him if he had enough room on the stool. He repeated ¾ quite loudly for quite some time. Also, his head was lolling around (he had been drinking since noon and was trying to pass out) and it hit the bar several times with a loud thud. He didn’t seem to notice the first couple of times it happened, but the third time sounded especially harsh and I said, “Ouch, did that hurt?” When I called attention to it, Jacob was like a little kid. He kept giggling, “fix my face, fix my face!” The girls drinking next to us were concerned. They were sort of talking to him, and I heard him say, “I work at the USDA, I handle all the food you eat!” Oh, even trashed, he’s always quick witted and saucy.

Forage & Vine is definitely the place to be if you are belligerent, pass-out drunk, falling down, etc. . . Though Jacob was literally sleeping on the bar, sprawled out on the floor, walking with the support of friends, the bartender didn’t kick anyone out. As a matter of fact, Jacob fell to the floor and his friend said, “let’s go get some air.” They struggled to the door, knocking chairs and the bartender told them there was a backdoor near where they were standing. They ended up going up stairs–with the bartender watching.  We found out later the friend was also pretty drunk. Once out on the patio, Jacob was really out of it. He kept taking swings at his pals, and managed to send a bottle of beer flying all over everyone. He wasn’t doing it in a hateful way- he giggled the entire time.  He also spit on the girls next to him (I think he was getting ready to vomit). Eventually he pretty much passed out right there at the table. The solution his friends came up with? Pour drinks over him and hit him until he wakes up–nope wasn’t happening. The waitress was like–he doesn’t look good, he’s sweating a lot. Ummm, no that’s beer. Then she laughed and left. Didn’t kick us out, didn’t call the bouncers to carry him out, just went about her business with Jacob passed out at the table. He is going to wake up in the morning and wonder why he’s so sore! Once, Jacob stirred, and we thought he was going to be able to leave the bar by himself, instead of getting up, he repositioned himself on the floor! As the friends helped him down the stairs, his bare feet and ankles went thud, thud, thud all the way down. Another bruise for the morning.

After waiting on the bench in front of the bar for what seemed like a long time, sober Jake brought the car and Jacob was put in the passenger seat. His friend had to sit in the back seat, and instead of going around to the drivers side (like everyone was telling him to), decided to get in behind Jacob. He threw the seat forward spilling the precarious Jacob forward. There were arms and legs everywhere as they drove off.

I probably forgot some stuff. Jacob gave us a lot of material to laugh about. Between the giggling, incoherent mumbling, bruises, and passing out–we were definitely entertained. I think he had a really good birthday. He had to be at work at 11 am this morning–I bet if he made it at all, he is not doing well. . . The whole episode is kinda funny–since we know he’s made it home alright.


Creepy Spokeo Stalker Site Info

1 Jan

Cabin mansion= lot size is 109,335; house is 3578 sq ft; est worth= $332K


Parents= lot size is 22,215; house is 1,228 sq. ft.; est worth=$107K


Jan Aldrich= lot size is 20,625; house is 1,432 sq ft; est worth=$194K


Chapmans=lot size is 1,389,129 sq ft; house size is 1755 sq ft; est worth=$225K


Auntie Lois=lot size is 4000 sq ft; 1370 sq ft; est worth=$463K