I Had Gas [1-15-07]

1 Jan

weed, pot, bud, dope, mary-jane, funk, hashish, ace . . .  Nope just N2O3 (ok, I made that up, it’s been awhile since I’ve had chem–til today, that is).  I’ve never had nitrous oxide before. What a huge oversight! I had my mouth surgery today–my first surgery ever. I was scared. They assured me that I would be awake for the entire procedure. Ummm, really, I would prefer it if I was asleep! WARNING– Squeamish readers skip to the next paragraph: My lower gums had receded 6 mm so they had to cut tissue from the roof of my mouth and graft it onto the gums so my bottom teeth wouldn’t fall out (I would REALLY fit in to Missouri’s culture). They also had to cut the piece of tissue (fornum or something) that helps my bottom lip attach.

The moment they put the nitrous mask on, I felt weird. I didn’t care at all what was going on–sometimes I wish I could go through life like that. It was like the woozy feeling you get when your blood sugar drops too low. Then, I got a pleasant tingly feeling as if I were high. It was agood time. My (internal) audio system was off though. I could hear the overhead lights, the doctor breathing, and the air from my nitrous mask super-loud, but I could no longer hear voices or the radio unless I strained and concentrated really hard. Though, I wanted to ask questions, but my tongue became sluggish. I wasn’t sure if I could form words. . . When the peridontist asked how I was, my voice sounded strange–tremendously high pitched. Maybe that’s what my voice sounds like to other people?

I tried to ask how long the nitrous and novocain would effect me, but it took me about 10 min. to say, “how long will it last?” in a husky voice (not sexy). The doctor said the procedure wouldn’t last more than an hour. I also felt a random hand on my chin, but I saw both hands of the doctor and hygienist–I was feeling things. . . I was also drooling, apparently, b/c the girl kept mopping up my chin and neck-embarrassing! Fortunately, I never felt a thing IN my mouth, which has never happened before-yay for nitrous oxide!

It was over. Backtrack: My appointment was supposed to be at 1:15, but this morning the receptionist told me to come at 12:45. I started running errands at 10 am, and didn’t want to eat out b/c I wouldn’t be able to brush my teeth before the surgery–gross and rude. So I hadn’t eaten all day. I asked when I could eat, expecting him to say in a couple of hours. He told me I couldn’t eat for a week!!! I can only eat soft, liquid things, til next Tuesday–hello India skinny or cheating, as the case may be.

I was asked if my head cleared and I said yes (it hadn’t) and was expected to get up. At that point I didn’t even know if I could FIND my feet, let alone walk on them. . . I tried to look cool and collected as I tottered out.

The only other part to the story is that D&H sucks. On the way home, I started feeling a blinding pain. The Peridontist’s office had called in 3 pain relievers in front of me, so I tried to hustle to pick them up. When I got there, the pharmacy lied and said they JUST got the call and it would be 15 min. Despite the fact 6 employees in white coats were whcking pud, 30 min. of severe pain later, they had my pills–what takes so long?! I count out pills all the time at work–they didn’t even have to cut them! Losers!

By the way, I found all the slang terms for marijuana onhttp://parentingteens.about.com/cs/marijuana/l/bldicmarijuana.htm check it out–very funny!


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