Snow Board Saga [originally posted May 2009]

1 Jan

Chair DROP


Background:  I went snowboarding last Sunday and this last Friday at the same place (Mount Rose), and managed to get off all the chair lifts Sunday without incident.  Friday, I was not so fortunate. . .

We were set to try an intermediate run this time around.  The resort has signs on the way to the lift drop off point that say, “get ready,” and “tilt your board.”  These signs are not extraneous.  When they say tilt your board on the big lifts, they mean business.  I evidently did not tilt my snowboard enough on the exit, and the front of it got stuck in a snow drift below the lift.  This threw me to the ground under the lift, but the lift chairs kept moving.  I was frantically trying to get up (squealing all the while), but the snow made it slick.  The chair we just sat on just kept going forward, moving toward me.  In my struggles, one of my legs got stuck on the “tilt your board” sign (mocking me at this point) and I became tangled.  The chair was not stopping—it was going to smoosh me!  I got as flat on the snow as I could, and luckily the chair just cleared me.  If I was any fatter, though, I would have been creamed.  I guess the lift operator wasn’t paying attention (or was hysterically laughing at my retarded antics), because the lift chairs kept coming!  I was still flailing my arms and legs in an attempt to get up, but the snowboard strapped to my left foot was a hindrance.  The second chair almost bashed into me before the lift operator finally stopped it.  I scooted/rolled down the hill to get out of the way.

Usually I would have just died from embarrassment.  Luckily, it was a school day, the last weekend any slopes were open, and the weather was pretty dreary—there were only a handful of people at the resort.  And up on that mountain, at that point in time, I don’t think any strangers saw my struggles (thank goodness).

After boarding down the mountain, we got on the (wet) seats of the chair-lift again.  The usually relaxing chair lift was speeding along through the cold wind, pelting our faces with wet snow.  The bench was really wet this time, and so were our pants (and underwear), and we were getting cold.  By the time the lift got to the exit, the wind was blowing snow so hard that I couldn’t even think about getting off the chair, I just held my hands up, trying to shield my face from the awful weather.  This time, the operator saw me coming and practically stopped the chair to let me off the lift.  It was embarrassing, but helpful none-the-less.  I successfully boarded down the chair-lift exit slope and came to a gentle stop.  I was just bending to click my right foot in the binding, when the lady who had been on the chair behind me lurched into me.  Lifts were not my friend that day!  I hardly noticed her because I was so thrilled about not getting run over by the chair lift!


More to come about my snowboarding adventure!


Rabbit Ass

I had worn my rabbit-lined leather gloves snowboarding.  I like them, because even while walking dogs in the Missouri rain and snow, they have never gotten wet inside.  Well, with all the falling, and sitting in snow to adjust my bindings, the gloves had become wet inside.  I joked that instead of putting my hands in a rabbit’s warm ass, that my rabbits now had diarrhea.  After 4 or 5 runs in the rain and snow, it was more like the rabbits had e-coli, and their intestines were sloughing.  If I squeezed my hands into fists, water from inside dripped to my feet.  My hands were wet and cold!  I’ll get you, you. . .  wabbit.


Black or Blue???


Two Fridays ago(?) was the third time in my life that I had been snowboarding.  Note to other amateur boarders—do NOT go boarding if it is raining!  Even if it is the last weekend the slopes are open, and even if you have coupons to make it really cheap.  I was ready for the blue runs that day (or so we thought), so we took the bigger lift than the week before.

My last blog tells the tale of the very first lift-ride to my very first blue run.  Needless to say, things weren’t going well.  After that debacle, my confidence was shot.  I couldn’t even get off the lift, and now I’m at the very top of an intermediate run.  I had no idea how I was going to make my way down.  The weather was uncooperative as well.  The light rain we had originally had, turned into heavy wind, large, wet snow flakes, and fog when we reached that high elevation.  Snowboarding quickly became miserable!  We edged our way to the face of the hill—and couldn’t see anything for the fog.  I’m normally fairly brave, but inability to SEE the trail, signs, other people, or trees on my very first time on the blue run was scary.

We slowly made our way down the hill, hoping to stay safe—no Sony Bono action please!  Luckily, the fog cleared up as we got down a little farther.  Unfortunately, as soon as the fog cleared up, the hill became steep.  I swear, that stupid slope felt vertical!  The snow was also weird after accumulating a top layer of rain.  It offered no grip in certain places, then it would be sticky and cause the board (but not the rest of your body) to stop suddenly.  Worse, it was such a steep drop that when I did fall to a sitting position I couldn’t get up.  I would attempt to stand, and my board would slip further down the hill causing me to drop back down.  I finally had to scoot my board back and fourth to make a little “traction-trench.”  I think I crab-walked down the entire mountain!  When I finally got down to the bottom, I was ready to go home.  It was a pretty discouraging run.  I wanted to be big and brave though, so I said nothing and went back on the lift with my friend—I was far less enthusiastic though.

We chose different blue runs the next time, which I went down just fine.  Maybe that first blue run was mis-marked?  We looked at the main map later and noted a black run, black run, our first blue run, and a black run.  How in the world can the same side of the mountain be different in just one place?  I find this suspicious, and may just write Mount Rose a letter about that. . .  Anyway, we were getting pretty cold and wet, which automatically makes things more wretched.  Unlike the last snowboard trip when the time flew by, this time the time was creeping by.  After only a couple of hours (but 5 or 6 runs) we decided to leave and get all-you-can-eat sushi instead of waiting for the slopes to close.  All-you-can-eat sushi makes EVERYTHING better!

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