Panic to my Body! [12-2-07]

2 Jan

I can’t write the blog I would REALLY like to write.  Maybe I will one day, because it is the most entertaining, crazy, unbelievable blog yet.  For now I still hold out a little hope that the situation will correct itself.  Given time, things might go back to the way they are supposed to be.  Have you ever looked back at your life and thought it wasn’t possible for things to happen as they did?!  Even though I know things happened, it’s still hard for me to wrap my mind around it.  Things were NOT supposed to go this way.  How could everything be so wrong?!  I could never have imagined this. . .  Well, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about, so I’ll move on to my real blog topic…

I had a total panic attack—rightly so, I think.  Last weekend was Thanksgiving, right? Four days off.  I spent the entire weekend at my work (spent the night there and everything).  I got to watch a couple of DVDs, and used the bathroom as much as I wanted (in the middle of the night and everything) and I didn’t have to drive to my kennel duty, but it wasn’t the awesome story I had anticipated.  Maybe I should have utilized some things at work.  I could have given myself urine tests and taken radiographs of my head or something.  I didn’t do anything of the sort though.  Just slept, showered, worked.

By the end of the holiday, I was super-bored.  At least in my 5th wheel, I SEE people every once in awhile.  The only contact I had at work was the dogs in the kennel.  I didn’t do any homework though—cause, hello, it was a holiday!  Monday, I was also bored.  I think I was taking a bunch of surveys to pass the time.  Cut to Tuesday, the first day back to school.  I had to go to school early to make an appointment.  When I got there, my appointment was not only NOT on the books, but the guy I was supposed to see was out for the week.  I was super-annoyed that I was at school so early with nothing to do.  I mean, we had just had a 4 day weekend, what homework was there to do?  To pass the time, I went to the library and got on the internet.  Then, after f-ing around for an hour or two, it was finally class time.  I went to my first class and sat in the middle.  I usually sit near the end of the row, but for some reason, I thought it might be cool to sit in the middle.

I was taking notes when I got a text from my friend—who happens to have four of my five classes with me.  About that:  I did not even know her when we signed up for classes.  It was completely random that we have the exact same schedule!  Amazing! But anyway, she sent a text that said, “Ready for the cell bio exam?”  I thought, what a random question.  Why would she ask me such a question out of the blue?  I said, “No, that’s not today, is it?”  I was like, uh oh, seriously, why would she ask that?  I mean, what professor would put an exam right after a long break?  They NEVER do that!  Before she had a chance to respond though, I looked in my planner, which I hadn’t looked at (uncharacteristically) in at least a week.  Just to make sure there was no crazy exam. Sure enough, right on the first line it said, “Cell Bio Exam.”  Great I had an exam in less than 2 hours and I had not studied at all.  This was the time I started to hyperventilate.

It was bad enough I hadn’t studied for the test.  What was worse was that I had skipped a couple of lectures in that class (to attend extra credit lectures for another class) and had printed the lecture notes, and put them away without looking at them.  Somehow I erroneously thought I had plenty of time later to look at the notes.  So I hadn’t attended the lecture, READ the notes, or studied. . .  Great this exam was gonna be an A for sure *sarcasm*

I don’t think I have ever before not prepared at ALL for an exam.  It was too late to do anything about it though.  I couldn’t cover all that material in less than two hours.   So I had to take a full-length exam without any preparation what-so-ever.  You know, I’m not sure being completely unprepared made a difference.  When I was taking the exam, it didn’t seem and MORE difficult than usual.  Even when I did study for that class, I still was not confident in answering the test questions.  I’m going to laugh so much if I did the same or better on this test as I did on the previous exams, that I had spent a lot of time preparing for!

Moral of the story:  Sometimes OCD is a good thing.  I won’t talk myself out of it anymore. Constantly looking at the planner can’t hurt, and studying over a break will definitely be had next time!  I’ll let you know what the grade is when I find out.  Most likely it’s the F that I deserve. . .


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