Archive | 4:51 PM

TMI [64 views on 11-8-08]

9 Jan

Last night was terrible.  I was awake and in pain almost the entire night. About every 5 weeks I have these incapacitating cramps.  I know, I’m blogging about menstruation—I won’t get into any of the gory details.  I just want advice and sympathy regarding the awful cramps.

I think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain.  I never bruise, and when I do, I don’t even remember where it came from.  I have sprained my ankles in cheer-nastics, pole vaulting, and running.  I didn’t use crutches, nope I walked on the bad ankle  immediately after the injury AND the next day when it’s really sore.  I get scratched up at work constantly.  I’ve been bitten and scratched by cats, cut by bottle lids, and have had oral surgery.  Nothing hurts as bad as my cramps—not even close.  Once I got a 4th degree laceration (clears throat—somewhere personal) that could have required sutures, but I toughed it out for too long and it was too late for stitches by the time I went to the doctor’s office. I NEVER go to the doctor, by the way.

When I have cramps, I can’t function.  It hurts from my ribs to my knees.  I can’t get comfortable, can’t sleep, just have to toss around.  I don’t curl up in a ball because it hurts, nope that hurts too.  I can’t stay in one position—I look like a colicing horse.  I’m not sure how to put an ing on colic, but it’s when they can die from belly trouble.  I get sweaty and feel pale.  It feels like my blood sugar drops super low too.   My thighs throb in pain.   My abdomen hurts like crazy, and it comes in waves:  Pain, then extreme pain.

I can’t work in that  condition.  I have skipped class because I couldn’t concentrate on anything but the pain, let alone sit still for a lecture.  Here’s an example of how bad it gets:  Anyone who knows me realizes how much I love NASCAR—especially the Bristol night race.  Well, one year I bought tickets to the Bristol night race.  It was a dream!!!  So Douche (we were still dating at the time) and I drove to Tennessee for the race.  I love the race so much even being with Douche didn’t ruin it!  We stayed in a hotel two hours away from the track to save money.  The morning of the race, I of course, started my period.  I was in a lot of pain!  So much so, that I was not even excited for the race—VERY uncharacteristic.  We left the hotel at the crack of dawn as planned (better to experience the race) and started driving the 2 hours to the venue.  I was reeling in pain the entire trip.  We finally got there and I was still miserable.  It was then I realized that in my blinding pain I had forgotten our tickets at the hotel—two hours away.  Listen people—THAT’S how bad the cramps are.  Nothing else can even enter my mind.  We had to drive two hours back to the hotel and back. Douche was NOT thrilled (rightly so).  Usually I’m OCD-organized.  It was the cramps, I tell you!

I have tried taking aspirin or Ibuprofen a couple days before my period starts to no avail.  This is troublesome because my cycle is hardly like clockwork. It’s still a surprise every time. When I do manage to take something before the first day of menstruation, it doesn’t help.   I can take up to 6 aspirin and feel no relief from the dreaded cramps.   I have tried drinking a lot of water before my period starts and that doesn’t help either.  I’ve taken hot, hot baths to get rid of the cramps.  This helps slightly.  If 1 is no pain and 10 is extreme pain, my cramps are usually at an 11.  The bath brings it down to 9.  Also, I can’t always jump in hot water any old time ie class, work, etc. . .

I also have some prescriptions from the afore-mentioned injuries that I never took—didn’t need them.   I have codeine from my 4th degree laceration. When I had the laceration and took the codeine, it didn’t make me feel better and it didn’t make me sleep.  A friend came into my house at the end of the day and asked what I’d done all day.  I thought for a moment and realized—this. This, meaning I had sat in my chair and stared at the blank TV screen—for the previous 6 hours.  The codeine makes me, umm out of it.  I can still feel the pain, I just can’t function enough to care a lot about it.   So I have taken it for the cramps, but I can still feel the full-fledged pain.  I also got some kind of pain prescription (I can’t remember the name right now) when I had part of the roof of my mouth grafted on to my receding gum-line.  After that surgery my mouth hurt like a mofo.  I would call it a 8 on the pain-scale.  I took one of the pills, and soon was eating.  They helped immensely!  I took one for my cramps last night—didn’t touch em.  Helped for oral surgery, but was not strong enough to conquer the cramps.

Does anyone have any cramp-relieving tips or tricks I should try?  I only get the cramps the first day of menstruation, which is every 5 weeks for me. Other than that the periods are fairly light (regular to light flow) and last 3-5 days.  Nothing crazy.  All my gyno had to say on the matter was get on the pill.  I don’t have insurance and don’t want to take a pill every day for a once-a-month problem.  Anything else???


Summer Sublease Saga [May 2008]

9 Jan

I am so stoked!  I am moving downtown this summer, where I will be in walking distance to all the best places in CoMo.  I can have my cat in the apartment, there is a balcony and a porch good for sunning, I’ll have a dishwasher, and there is a washer and dryer right in the place!  Also, I’ll be living a block from theKaty Trail and 2 blocks away from my best pal.  Could it get any better?  Yes it can, I’ll be saving $200 a month by moving!!! How stellar is that?!

I was supposed to sub-lease right downtown.  There are 3 bedrooms (each with own sink) and 2 bathrooms.  Normally they rent out for $350 a piece, but the tenants were desperate so I got my room for $250.  I have one roommate, and they weren’t able to rent out the 3rd room.  Despite not living alone, it was going to be so cool:  2 blocks from my best pal, 1 block from the Katy trail, and it was right downtown.  I could drink and walk right home!  The place was available starting May 15, but I got my summer work schedule (which sucks, by the way) so I didn’t start moving in until a week or 2 later.  I did transfer my utilities over there right away though.

Chapter 2:

I still hadn’t met my roommate, but was starting to move some of my things over.  She, on the other hand, had moved ALL her stuff in.  She had all of her stuff in every common room, leaving NO space for my things.  She also claimed the larger of the 2 bathrooms as her own.  It was kind of shitty, but I had storage to put my extra things in, and I’m pretty low maintenance, requiring only a small bathroom area.

I had almost finished unloading my car when some girl appeared in the hall.  I had woken her up—at 3:30 pm?!  I introduced myself, assuming this was my new roomie.  The girl seemed super-awkward and embarrassed.  At first I figured it was because we were meeting for the first time when she had just rolled out of bed.  That wasn’t it.  The girl said she was crashing there for the last week.  This was a friend of my roommate.  Except, I didn’t believe the situation was short term, because there were 2 mattresses in that bedroom.  That and a LOT of stuff.  I also noted the 3rd bedroom that hadn’t been rented was locked—smart.  I think they were planning on both living there for just the one rent.  That’s fine, except if that’s the case, I want girl 3 to pay the entire utility bill.  It’s still considerably cheaper than rent.

Chapter 3:

I love my DirectTV!  I get a billion and three channels, including local stations, XM music channels, and all the NASCAR my little heart desires.  I also get free mover’s connection.  I scheduled the mover’s connection for today, and they threw in a DVR and an extra receiver AND free Starz and Showtime for 3 months.  It was such a sterling deal.  They called yesterday to confirm—this seems a mundane detail, but it comes into play later.

arah and I lugged my TV down the stairs at the old apartment, stuffed it awkwardly into my Jetta, and into my new bedroom. The TV people were scheduled to come between noon and 4. He called and asked if I had approval from the landlord.  Ummm, nope.  Funny no one had mentioned this before.  Seems like they would want to let me know I needed a note.  Since I’m sub-leasing, I don’t even know the name of the complex, let alone who the landlord is!  This was a problem and the DirectTV installer gave me 20 minutes to gain said permission.  I called the original leaser, got the number for the landlord, and called him.  He said I could not put any holes in the ceiling or walls because of some water-proofing or some such thing.  He said the dish could be put on the balcony though.  The dish is on my balcony currently, so I knew this could be done.  I think my installer wanted to get off work early and start his Memorial weekend, because he said we couldn’t DO that.  I know they can. . .  So I asked if we could put a pole outside my bedroom window with the dish—cause this is how it was at my first 2 apartments.  The DirectTV guy said college kids would mess up the cord.  I was like, look, it’s summer, there are hardly any college kids in town, and I’ll pay the $70 if they mess it up. Mofo wouldn’t do it.  Landlord wouldn’t budge on the no holes policy.  Laurel gets no DirectTV-ahhhh.

Besides having a huge moral issue with Mediacom’s bogus monopoly and subsequent questionable practices, not to mention the harassment I have endured from them as a DirectTV subscriber, I don’t want 6 months of their service.  I hate them and refuse to support them, even at the steep cost of having to miss all my shows.  How am I gonna keep up on Top Chef, Step It Up and Dance, and Workout?!  Those are just the shows that you have to watch weekly—nevermind all my sit-coms.  I guess I’ll be watching movies when I’m not working-Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Chapter 4- Down the 10 Stairs and through the town, to the new apartment we go:

I continue to frantically move stuff to the downtown apartment.  It’s starting to get down to the wire.  I had to be out of my old apartment by June 1st, and my work schedule is pretty heavy.  On Monday (it’s Memorial day so I only have to walk twice instead of staying at work all day), I walked in the door to the new place and the squatter was sitting (in her PJs) on the couch, surfing the web as if she belonged there.  It was around 4 pm, by the way, and I had been moving in all day.  I could hear my roommate in the shower.  I had managed to move everything over from my old apartment except my futon mattress and TV.  Since I still hadn’t met my actual roommate, I sort of lingered around waiting for her to get out of the bathroom.  I could see the friend texting, then hear a phone vibrate in the bathroom.  They were talking about me—awesome…

When she finally came out of the bathroom, the first thing my roommate said to me was, “You’re not planning to keep that litter box in the living room, are you?”  It was the ONE thing I had in a common area.  Before I said my response, she put the litter box in the closet.  I don’t know about anyone else, but my cat hasn’t learned to open doors yet. . .  I tried to play it off and be friendly, saying, “I’m bringing my cat over tomorrow.”  All I got were disgruntled stares from both my roommate and her squatting friend.  Then my roommate turned around and went back in the bathroom before I could ask how long the friend was crashing with us, and whether of not she would be paying anything.

I was very worried at this point.  I wasn’t allowed to have my stuff anywhere in the house except my bedroom, my roommate seemed to be a bitch, there was a person squatting, I was concerned they would either do something to my cat or carelessly let him out, and I couldn’t have TV.  This was not what I planned!  I called the guy who I had been working with to set up the sub-lease and asked if he knew an extra person had been staying there for a week and a half.  He hadn’t known and said he would call my roommate immediately and get the extra girl out of there.  Great, now my roommate was going to be disgruntled with me.  Now I really didn’t want my stuff or Gandhi Gus to be there!  I decided the whole thing was not working out, I wanted out of the whole deal.  I had to wait until the long weekend was over though—no sleep was had.

Chapter 5-Cue Stern Voice:  “Laurel, You’re in a Legally-Binding Contract”

The next morning, I called my current apartment’s management and asked if I could stay under a 6 month lease.  They were quick to have me sign the lease.  I also asked the management if I could move to another unit (away from the inconsiderate neighbors across the hall).  They wanted to know why, and I tried to be discreet and say I preferred other neighbors.  They brought up my neighbor’s name saying complaints were already lodged against her (I KNEW Eileen couldn’t possibly be sitting there just dealing with their craziness!) and they were evicting her.  Now, I had 3 leases going:  my current apartment, the downtown apartment, and a storage unit.  Uh oh.  I did not have the money for all of that.  I was in trouble.

I called the sub-lease kid (19 year old Mizzou undergrad) and said I wanted out of the lease.  He was NOT happy!  He said, you signed a binding agreement.  I said, I don’t think your document [little paper you typed up on the fly] would hold up in court.  He said he was going to call the girl and her father from whom I was actually sub-leasing as well as the landlord.  The kid was pretty angry, and I said, “Hey let’s not get dirty, let’s see if we can work something out.”  He said it wasn’t fair to the other girl—she couldn’t afford to pay (let’s get real–we all know she’s not paying her own rent—we both know her daddy is footing the bill) for an empty room.  I told him I also couldn’t afford to pay for an empty room that I had never even stayed in once.  Tiongs might be different if I had taken the room and there were other prospective subleasers.  They couldn’t even get sub-leasers for all 3 rooms.  My money was a bonus to them.  I asked if he wanted me to call the landlord and he told me he wanted to talk to him first, then he would call me back.

I quickly hustled (in the humidity and rain) to move everything back out of the downtown apartment.  I didn’t want to have a confrontation with anyone, and I didn’t want them to lock my door and hold my stuff hostage until I paid the full $500.  Bynoon, everything but my dirty laundry was out of that place.  I was sore and exhausted and hot!  I figured since I was paying for the utilities and hadn’t spent the night, taken a shower, or so much as turned on a light, I might as well be using the laundry.  At night, I got an e-mail from the sub-lease kid.  It basically said the contract was legally binding, the girl’s father that I was actually sub-leasing from would be calling me, and he (meaning the kid) would have no further contact with me.

Of course, I’m freaking out.  I’m thinking I need a lawyer, I need to get my stuff (dirty laundry) out of the downtown apartment, and now this girl’s dad was going to be after me.  The one thing in my favor was that when I signed the sub-lease, no one took my social security number or a copy of my driver’s license.  All they had was my name, phone number, and e-mail address—big deal.  Technically, I could just leave, and what could they do? Well, I suppose sue me.  Would they want to take the time though?  Was I willing to take the gamble?

Chapter 6-Moral Dilemma, Skip Out or Pay?

I had to work the entire next day, and as usual was having a total stroke over the situation.  I just do not have the stomach for this business of finagling my way out of a lease!  I showed everyone at Noah’s Ark the contract, asking them if they thought it was binding.  Everyone did think the lease was binding, but knew the downtown apartment’s management would have no recourse if I broke the sublease.  Of course, no one was going to tell me to be a shit-head and skip out on the lease. They suggested I get a lawyer.  So much stress and work and money!  I decided, first, I would play nice and ask my roommate if her squatter friend would like to take over my sub-lease.  That would be a perfect solution for all.  She (of course) was still in bed at 10:30, so I got my laundry, left her a note, and put the house and mail keys inside on the table.  At around 2 pm, I checked my voicemail.  It was the sub-lease kid asking me to give him my mail key—he was expecting an important letter in the mail.  I really don’t understand where he is and why he doesn’t have his mail transferred there.  I also don’t understand why he’s calling me up when just the day before he was all disgruntled and wanting to cut all contact!  Later, in the day I got a second call from the actual sub-leaser’s dad.  Great.  The third call was (finally) from my roommate.  Her friend was moving to Saint Louis THAT day.  People at my work joked that they didn’t know my (now empty) bedroom was named Saint Louis.

Uh oh, no replacement sub-leaser, and I was locked in this stupid contract all the while having to pay rent on my current apartment and storage.  I could definitely NOT afford all 3—nor did I need 3 places.  I decided I did not want to be a bad person and just leave the situation.  I had to call the actual sub-leaser’s dad and hope for mercy.  This was not to say I wasn’t terrified about dealing with someone’s dad.

I gathered my courage and made the call.  The father seemed friendly—no ranting or threats or anything.  I asked if we could work out an amicable deal, and he said that would be agreeable.  I said he probably wanted his entire $500, and he said if the deal was for less, that it could work.  I told him how relieved I was to hear that—I really didn’t have all that money. He asked me what I thought we should do, and I told him I would like it if we could split it:  I would pay $250 for the first month, if he could pay the second $250.  I said this because I didn’t want to push my luck, and I wasn’t really sure how much he would let me off the hook.  He said, “Now when can you be moved out?”  I was happy to say I was already out, as of today.  It was HIS turn to be excited.  He seemed to think he could find a sub-leaser!  Good luck with that—all the students are out of town over the summer.  He said after I paid him $250, I could be released from the contarct-yay!

That’s the end of the story.  It’s kinda sad it didn’t work out, especially since it looked so good on paper.  It was supposed to save me a lot of money, but just ended up costing me MORE money.  That and a lot of headache. . .  To recap:  The last week, I’ve been frantically moving, then Unmoving, then scared I was either going to have to pay $500 I didn’t have for an empty room or get sued.  I’m pretty happy for things to go back to normal.  Maybe today I’ll go for a swim—cause I can!

Stay Away, Old Face [6-29-08]

9 Jan

You didn’t think I’d let THIS go did you?!  Read my diatribe, and feel appropriately embarrassed:

First of all, I want to say I stay out of the realm of my exes, even missing a fun-time or two in order to avoid an awkward situation.  I do not want a confrontation of public fulminations.  My exes don’t have the same respect, but their liberalness still surprises me when great audacity and permissiveness is shown and they DON’T maintain distance.  Some people have no boundaries!  THAT was always my biggest harangue with Douche.

Secondly, it’s one of my biggest pet-peeves when someone “loves” their animal so much, yet doesn’t act responsibly toward that pet.  Of course, I’m going to offer my invective on the matter, shit-head.  Not vaccinating an animal annually is lame—not updating shots for 3 years is neglect.  Putting an animal in a stressful situation aka Douche’s house, is asking for health trouble.  Mixing unvaccinated animals is retarded, by the way.  While we’re on the subject of pet care, feeding crappy food (yeah Nutro is just disguised crap) is going to hurt the pet’s health.  People who have pets SHOULD know, but Science Diet, Eukanuba, and Iams are the most nutritionally balanced foods on the market.  Also believing a pet store’s word over a veterinarian is dumb.  To continue common sense pet care advice, if you have a multi cat household, the rule is 1 litter box per cat + 1. This means if you have 3 cats, you need 4 litter boxes, 4 cats means 5 litter boxes, etc. . .  Oh, and you have to clean the litter box more than once a month.  The number 1 rule of owning an animal???  Don’t get a pet if you can’t afford to take care of it!

What a jeremiad, right?  But with good reason.  I bring it up, because Douche’s new GF (Old Face) strolls into MY work after not having been there for multiple years wanting a latitudinarian price plan.  I was so pissed they would have the audacity, and wish I had the nerve for a face-to-face tirade.  OK, you need some background on Old Face.  Believe it or not, I’m not just randomly mean to people.  Douche had a best friend for a year or two, for the sake of simplicity, we’ll call this friend “Manly.”  Manly and Douche were constantly seen together.  Also, Manly had been dating Old Face for a long time.  I’m not sure of the specifics, but possibly as long as 4 years.  Manly and Old Face had their problems.  I’m not sure how involved Douche was in these problems.  Probably heavily–pun intended.  Anyhow, Manly and Old Face break up and almost immediately afterward, Douche is dating Old Face.  This breaks one of the cardinal best friend rules—you don’t date your best friend’s ex—especially within such a short time span.  Sidenote:  Manly is out of the picture.  Douche no longer seen with Manly at all–just like that.  You knew of Douche’s non-existent morals, but this story illustrates that Old Face, also has questionable ethics.  Obloquy unnecessary–this sort of behavior is completely expected.  Her and Douche are perfect for each other. . .

Anyway, I was surprised they would come in such close proximity to me!  I also figured Old Face would go to the vet Douche does.  Not only does Douche go there, but my OTHER ex who happens to be friends with Old Face, works there. Got all that?  It’s a web of trashy that I would just assume not be involved in.  I’m not sure if Old Face actually does update vaccines at Douche’s vet and just wanted to take advantage of my clinic’s good prices, or if her pet, in fact, had not been vaccinated for years.  Either way coming to my work wasn’t a cool move.

At first, I felt awkward and wanted to avoid Old Face.  Then, I thought—no it is her who should feel awkward, this is MY place of work!  To drive home that point, I made sure to bring her animal to her when she came to pick it up.  I wanted to say a lot, but was very nervous and stressed so shakily said, “I didn’t expect to see YOU in here.”  I hope seeing me made Old Face feel awkward, but I couldn’t really tell.  What I wanted to do was lay out a long malediction about how just because she’s a cheap-ass does not give her the right to impede upon my territory.

My main point???  I don’t go to your bar or place of work–don’t come back to my clinic!!!

Funding [11-8-08]

9 Jan


I FINALLY got into vet school, but am having trouble raising enough money to go. The liberal tuition expense  is around $22,000 a term. My non-generous school loan covers tuition only. . .
On top of that, I have to pay generously for a plane ticket to get there, get housing, pay for manditory health insurance, get vaccinated (the 3 rabies vaccines alone are $663!), not to mention afford food while I’m there!  The fees are lavish.
To defray costs, I had the progressive idea of  making a cook book as a fund-raiser. This is where you come in: Submit any amazing recipies to me via a myspace/facebook message or e-mail. Your open-mindedness will be credited appropriately in the book, and would be helping me a lot!
Oh, and later, you (and your broad-minded, bounteous friends) can buy a book that has your own munificent creation featured 🙂 Stellar for all!