Archive | 9:38 AM

Can You Blame Me for Being FRUSTRATED?!!

6 Feb

I tried to tell myself not to be bitter.  I maintained my integrity and probity throughout my college years, tenure at Noah’s Ark, and application process.  What do I care if other listless, (shit-heads) misrepresented themselves in order to succeed?  Things ended up working out for the best—even better than my original plan.  It still angers me that Mizzou accepts a deplorable caliber of (lying) people these days.

Don’t get me wrong—I think the school conducts its business with veracity and is stellar (or used to be, anyway).  Every veterinarian I have worked for has graduated from the school, and couldn’t be doing better.  They are smart, talented, and caring—excellent examples of the profession.  I look up to the people I worked for (maybe not in their personal lives) professionally.  Lately though, Mizzou is letting. . .  Just unsatisfactory people in!  I would like to talk to the crazies on the admissions committee, because they are obviously clueless.

I started to question them when “Katrina” entered into a class, when she didn’t have as much animal experience as me.  I felt we were equal candidates, except she was a year ahead of me in school and had already obtained her degree.  I felt I gave up my own spot in that class by getting her a job at a veterinary hospital.  She didn’t really work before that, and I kicked myself for giving her that advantage.  She was my friend though, and had fantastic grades, so I was happy for her.

When they let in one of the M’s, who portrayed herself all exactitude and fidelity, but really followed through with, and did as little as possible I was horrified the school couldn’t see through her prevarications of “hard, honest work.”  I saw firsthand how this Unaccountable M was treated differently in our college classes.  She lived in a “bubble” so to speak, where her attractiveness garnered her many perks that no one else had.  I thought the school was crazy.  While I would accept mediocre quiz and test grades, knowing that I got the questions wrong, and should of studied more, Unaccountable M would meet with the professor and nickel-and-dime extra points out of him.  I can NOT tolerate this form of deception!  I would never even have the audacity to ask–her answers were just as wrong as mine.  I felt mine was the more truthful way to complete a class.  Her connivery got her an A, while I got a C–so I guess she IS smarter, in a duplicitous way.

This M did nothing but attend college, until her Senior year.  A lot of veterinary students take this route, but it doesn’t make it right.  And the last year of college is a really late start for pre-vet students.  She hadn’t even done any clubs or sports in high school, probably because she is so flaky she is unable to stick with anything.  THEN, in an act of guile, she joined a lot of clubs, and took on 2 jobs (working minimal hours at each-12/wk?) in that last year just so she could write in on the application.  The worst part about this chicanery was she did not put much time into any of these endeavors, and she half-assed everything she did.  As a matter of fact, she worked 6 hours a week at one job so she could keep her housing, and worked only weekends at Noah’s Ark—though we were short-staffed and could have used her waaay more.  Also, I say worked, but really mean chatted with everyone while other people finished the tasks needing to be accomplished.  I forgot to mention she FAILED her freshmen college classes because she was too wild.  The vet school still let her in, while denying me.

The latest undeserving person, (that prompted me to write this blog) also worked with me.  I use the term ‘work,’ loosely.  This girl was late almost every weekend—not just 10 minutes, we’re talking HOURS.  She would offer some sort of artifice to explain away the lateness, over and over.  Then she would offer some lame canard only to do the exact same thing the next weekend.  She literally left work to go get lunch one Saturday and got high–on work time!  This is not conjecture, her and the other offending co-worker were open about how they were “pulling one over” on our employers.  AND she (they) came back to work (high) and sat there stoned.  Luckily (or un-luckily, depending on how you think about it), my employers are naive and didn’t notice.  They didn’t even have to offer any falsity or fib to avoid getting fired.  Just the kind of person you want making life and death decisions for your animals, huh?  She was always up to something, using trickery to deceive our kind employers.

During that time, she would also take random pills with alcohol on weekends (or whenever).  This happened on a few occasions, because she was so sloppy.  Once she was so messed up that she was wandering the streets, had to be carried to an apartment, than peed her pants!  This girl ended up quitting her job “because she didn’t want to wake up early in the morning.”  She never actually told her employers either—she quit through a phone call with a co-worker.

At school, she failed her first 2 years of college and dropped physics and chemistry cause she missed so many labs.  She had to re-take science in the summer, and (get this) her mom came to lecture with her—to make sure she made it to class!  This girl just got accepted into MU’s 2013 veterinary class.  What the FUCK??!

After letting these losers in, the school wonders why they have such a high rate of transfers, failures, and drop-outs.  Let’s see, 9 people in the 2010 class and 11 in the 2012 class!  When you only have a class size of 80 to begin with, that’s a huge deal.  It also means some person that wasn’t accepted to the school (me) got gypped.  Some etard that left those classes took my spot (I was on the alternate-list) and wasted it.  But really–what does the school think is going to happen when they let these people in their school?!  It shouldn’t upset me, cause hello, the veterinary school I’m going to is in a WAY better climate than the Midwest, but c’mon—is this for REAL?!

Baby Steps [2009-2010]

6 Feb

I have always been empowered by a list, so maybe making this one will make me feel less helpless and frustrated.

Firstly:  Get out of Seattle before it makes me impure and pretentious!

Get Cool out of the debased frat house so she can save loads of money
search for Spokane jobs
get temporarily cheap housing
give notice to the doctors at AVH
leave!
get cavities drilled
save more money
get an apartment to stay
get all the stuff to Spokane

#2:  Save money, money and more money.

Work at said job
limit expenses
pursue financial aid
look for outside funding
combine resources and save like the dickens
look for scholarships
call Pullman financial aid office for questions
fill out FAFSA

#3:  Get a head start:

Write/schmooze 6 prospective letter of recommendation writers
study GRE
work on essay
hone job descriptions
do mock interviews
request transcripts

#4:  Do it!

Call the school and ask questions
pay for the appliication the day it opens
send everything immediately
write it all out early
check it twice, later

Homeless + Vocab

6 Feb

t the acme of my worst financial situation, I was lucky to have people who were able to mollify my poverty by providing financial support, so I wasn’t at risk of becoming homeless.  Something arbitrary could happen to anyone and cause them financial trouble–especially if no one is in a position to assuage the monetary loss when they need it.  I can’t imagine losing my job and having to abdicate my house.  When you are in money trouble, you need to react with alacrity to avoid real trouble.  Irresponsible people, who live only for bonhomie can get themselves in economic trouble quickly.  People should be able to forestall poverty at least enough to keep shelter.A strung out person probably could not articulate that they need help–so they will get more and more desperate.  In my mind, it takes some time to become impecunious–it seems people should be able to avoid it.    If people spent wisely and used more prudence in financial decisions, there wouldn’t be nearly as many homeless people.

Adults learn these behaviors that get them into trouble starting at an early age.  Kids can be whimsical, but if they don’t have a grip on reality as adults, they will be at risk.Maybe if their parents had given an damn and upbraided their kids when they were naughty, teaching them responsibility, those kids wouldn’t have grown up and failed at life to become homeless.  That spoiling does nothing to propitiate the situation once the parent is unable to extend any more help to their irresponsible child.  Homelessness and addiction go hand-in-hand:  People that are addicted or that have some sort of mental disability are often impetuous–so that could explain some of the people that have no shelter.  People are usually reticent about why they are living on the streets-it’s probably not a pretty story.  A lot of homeless people use tangential reasoning for why they are in dire straights–them blame other people.  Homeless people are quick to go into a tirade about how it isn’t their fault. . .  Yeah. . .   Like addicts, probably every single thing that comes out of a homeless person’s mouth can be repudiated.

The only reason people would be living outside rather than in a shelter is they are somehow intractable, addicted to some substance, or are otherwise unable to follow the rules.  Instances of homelessness could be reduced substantially if people would just abstain from drugs.  It is ostensible that homeless people lived a smart, pious life and just fell on hard times that could not be avoided–but it doesn’t seem to happen that way often.  The transient people are either that way because they were bad in someway or get impious as a result of such a hard life.  Bifurcating with an addiction is very difficult and requires outside help in most cases.  I believe homeless people are in that situation because they have made decisions that are less than judicious.

When Mike brought the homeless girl into our house, I was very mannered, and didn’t know how to act.  My disbelief, discomfort, and phobia could not be placated.  It reminded me of  the “Ellen” episode where she unknowingly invites a homeless man to her repast is easy to criticize–they were so awkward!  Though it does little to conciliate the real problem, I advocate laws that keep homeless out of sight and away from the public–desperate people could do anything.  Homeless people are hardened to such an extent they become adulterated in some ways.  I have a constant phobia that the homeless will assail me to rob, rape, and render me dead.

There must be a juncture in someone’s life where they just give in to what ever tribulation they are facing and decide they don’t care if they have a place to live.  If homeless people could kindle any motivation there are always crap-jobs they could do–even felons.  The life of a homeless person must be so ambiguous–I can’t imagine having no place to go and no schedule or routine.  The homeless people by the Spokane River were languidly drinking beer when we saw them at 10:30 AM one Sunday morning.  What do you expect if you are nothing but listless?  Of course you will lose everything!  On one hand the number of homeless people makes me lugubrious, but on the other, I can’t help to think they are responsible for their situation.  For some reason, the homeless are the most gregarious when they are outside of grocery stores.  Panhandlers are so verbose about their need–when does pride go out the window?  When the homeless approach me, I am laconic as possible and attempt to disengage, because I am afraid of what they might do to me.  It is so annoying that homeless people feel they have to deface underpasses and train cars and walls with their graffiti.

When I see the homeless people walking around the community, they are always cursing and loud, very plebeian in character.  At night, walking alone, I see wraiths of homeless people and transients in my mind’s eye.  I can’t help but to wonder what they are capable of doing to me, and my fears can not be palliated easily.  If I were homeless, with no comforts, I would be terrified–nothing could appease me, and I would hardly remain imperturbable.  If I were homeless, I would be hustling to improve my situation, but it seems the people I see living on the streets arequiescent and resigned to their fate.  Maybe my phobia has made more invidious towards the homeless–but I feel the fear is based on fact.

Government assistance alleviates a lot of hardship, but they don’t have enough money to support everyone–and there is a lot of hoop-jumping required.  I give encomium to the people charitable enough to help the homeless with donations or time.   Tabitha talked about volunteering with the homeless, but it was more meretricious than sincere.  I think there are government programs designed to teach a technical skill or provide education so the homeless can bolster their position in life.  Hopefully when the economy recovers, jobs will burgeon, and there will be less homeless people, mollifying the problem.

I feel sorry for veterans and other people with mental disorders that end up homeless-as a nation it is grievous that we treat war heroes and incompetents with such disdain.  It comes down to the fact that people heterogeneous to well-adjusted population are homeless-they fail somehow.  Living outside, by a river, especially in a northern state could be zephyr and cold in a hurry.  I wonder if homeless people ever feel mirth again?

Skid Row + Vocab

6 Feb

Skid Row seemed terrible–all decorous behavior vanished, apathy everywhere, everyone lived like animals.  The food offered by the missions is meant to be sustenance, not known for its tastefulness.  On Skid Row, pretty much anything goes–appropriate, socially correct behavior is relative.  Anyone who uses proper English on Skid Row would be marked as an outsider in no time–education is disregarded there.  No one is courteous–instead using brawn and viciousness to obtain daily needs and wants.

The filth surrounding Skid Row is appalling–certainly far from comme il faut.  How can you expect manners or politeness from heroin addicts and drug dealers?  I noticed how most of the people on “Skid Row” were ultimately indifferent which made them fallacious–reverting back to the same ‘ol drugs when it came down to it.  One of my favorite quotes:  How do you know an addict is lying?  His lips move.  It seems like all addicts are sophistic andspurious by nature.  Homeless people don’t want to be that way so they say plausible things about their goals and aspiration to get help, but the addict part kicks in.  Also, they become listless in changing their situation.  It is ostensible that a drug users are enjoying themselves–when they’re under the influence, but being an addict isn’t fun.  It’s really sad that spurious junkies involve their families in their addictive behavior and its consequences.

The people on Skid Row are mostly addicts–70-90% of them, so the police know they are beyond reproach.  To vituperate one person on Skid Row would be pointless, because there are so many criminals right there, and they would fill up all the jails in California–so they are pretty much left alone.  The authorities become unresponsive to the scene as well.  Even recovered people fall victim to their previous vices, and become sophistic about hiding their behavior.  The illusory solution to the problem is to segregate the homeless junkies, but that creates new, larger problems for L.A. and the nation as a whole.  This segregating attitude combined with stolidity by the homeless themselves, the government of California, and society as a whole is what contributed to and upheld Skid Row in the first place.  The specious solution is throwing money at the problem, and sure, that would help, but for long term success, America has to fix the housing market, instill education, help inequality–it’s a multi-faceted problem with no easy solution.

Most of the homeless featured in the documentary parry questions, and insult interviewers to remain invisable–there is astigma in living on Skid Row.  They had to use hidden cameras to film the documentary because the people on Skid Row were so Evasive about being taped.  The derelicts living on Skid Row were paranoid about cameras and camera crews, repelling all media from the streets.  The residents on Skid Row also avoided police offers, and knew the documentary guy was a phony impostor when he approached police to ask what was happening.  When asked if they wanted to be homeless or do drugs the people would deflect the question by asking for more drugs.  Skid Row inhabitants figured police, FBI, etc had a conspiracy against them.  The homeless addicts living there hated the police because they feared an insurrection.

Skid Row is not a new phenomenon–having established fusty, prehistoric roots back in the 1870’s!  Seattle coined the superannuated term “skid road” because the loggers would sleep in Pioneer Square on their off-season having no work or money.  It’s weird to me that these skid roads are right next to downtown metropolis areas–I wonder which is superseded.  Drugs were introduced to Skid Roads in bygone times–quite early due to people down on their luck and desperate.  Vancouver’s Skid Row has the highest instance of heroin deaths, starting in dated times on the North American continent.   The dowdy hotels and cheap housing attracted out of work fisherman and loggers, then the drugs made it even more of a seedy area.  AIDS, HIV, and Hepatitis-C are not obsolete in the areas of Skid Row even with the aid of programs like the IV drug safe injection site in Canada.

Central City East is the outdated term for Los Angeles’ Skid Row.  An outmoded name for an area of 5th street occupied by homeless is “The Nickle.”  There were stale accusations that the police and hospitals in L.A. transported the homeless to Skid Row instead of offering services to them.  The name Skid Row is so passe‘ that the fire station (#9) that services the area has “Skid Row” emblazoned on the sides of their fire-trucks.  New York’s “The Bowery” had the vintage name of Skid Row.

It is crazy to think the Skid Row statistics are not embellished.  Estimates of 7,000 to 8,000 homeless people in Los Angeles are not enhanced–there are really that many people on the streets on Skid Row.  It is not embroidery of facts that California government deemed the number of shelter beds inadequate for the amount of homeless and now allow camping on the sidewalks within boundaries of Skid Row from 9 PM to 6:30 AM.  It seems to me that the government just gave up on the problem and became insensible about finding a true solution.  Seeing the streets bedecked with tents, addicts, and human excrement is quite shocking from my living room–I can’t imagine seeing Skid Row in person.

The streets are adorned with 51.4% Hispanics, 25.5% Caucasians, and 16.7% African Americans.  It is no exaggeration that the per capita income for Skid Row is 41.8% below the poverty line.   It’s hard to elaborate on the problem of Skid Row without seeing it.  Almost all the residents of Skid Row suffer some sort of stigma.  They are marked by poverty, blemished from addiction, tainted with mental disorders, and stained from living hard.  The opprobrium falls not only on the homeless themselves, but on a impassive society–because we had a hand in putting those people there.  It is a blot on our country that there are Skid Rows scattered throughout with a throw away population living in filthy, horrid conditions.  The third world conditions on Skid Row discredit us as a nation.