Archive | May, 2011

I love a Schedule! (Stolen from 125)

31 May

Yay for schedules–though I may never have the desire to train for and run a full marathon.

Full Marathon Example – Miles

Half Marathon Example – Km

5k Example

My Thoughts Exactly! (re-post from one-twenty-five)

26 May

Life Limbo. That’s me. That’s my life.

I’m 26 [err-27, which = even worse] as I type this and am exactly the person I didn’t want to be.  I imagined such fabulous things for this little life I lead, and not one of them found me so lost at 2[7].

Depression? No.

Rut? No.

Limbo? Yes.

The world is my oyster, right? I’m still young. I want to do something meaningful, not let the days slip through my fingers. Not sit in cubicle country [or dead-end job that doesn’t appreciate my efforts or pay me a big-girl salary, as the case may be] a moment longer, not be in this city.

But where do I go? What do I do? [What career/life would I even like, and most of all what would I be best suited for?]  What if I run from this current life, and land somewhere worse? Be in the exact same position, but on the other side of the world? What then? What if I’m looking for something that doesn’t exist? Or fleeing something that was never there? What then?

…  I studied super-hard for my GRE test.  And Tuesday I took it, and got scores that I’m extremely proud of.  I conquered my nemesis (math) and my scores reflected my newly minted knowledge.  I did my absolute best and was happy about my substantially  improved scores. . .  Until I saw many examples of the accepted class’ veterinary student’s GRE scores–my math is still too low.  It made me question this life dream of mine.  Maybe I’m not cut out for veterinary school–better yet, maybe I don’t really want my life to be that of a veterinarian at all.  Do I want a stupendous amount of student debt and to suffer through the most demanding school curriculum for four more years only to work long hours on holidays and weekends for little pay?  I questioned everything I saw, everything I was, I judged myself, my life back home, this blog, me.

I feel like I’m waiting for something, but I don’t know what. . .

My GRE Test Map

23 May

45 min issue essay

-10 min +agree statement; oppoisition statement, then state my side for intro

-10-min to write conclusion with generalized importance of issue or philospophy behind issue.

-20 min to brainstorm support topics, and write each one in sep paragraph.

–1 paragraph with rhetorical question

–another paragraph with descriptive passage

–third paragraph with financial implications and quote.

-5 min to edit and add points to intro

1 min break to roll neck and breathe

30 min analyize an argument essay.

-3 min to restate argument and tell how it makes illogical assumptions that makes it flawed. As intro

-10 min to state argument, say it suffered from certain assumptions and write implication.  Conclusion.

-10 min to brainstorm all points that are not well-reasoned, and put them in separate paragraphs.

-2 min to go back and write each paragraph topic in intro

-5 min to edit

10 min break to stand up, stretch, and breathe.

30 min for 30 Q verbal

–9 Q in first 10 min

–10 Q in 2nd 10 min

–11 Q in 3rd 10 min

devote 7 min per reading comprehension passage

1 min break to breathe and stretch

45 min for 28 Q Quantitative reasoning

–24 min for 9 Q

–21 min for rest of Qs

–skip all non-obvious charts

-read the quant reasoning Answers before doing the problem

-use my own # for variables whenever possible

-use the answer to solve when possible

-use most freq answers when stumped

Keep the Antiquated Buildings! GRE Issue

15 May

issue essay topics:

http://www.ets.org/gre/general/prepare/sample_questions/analytical/issues

“Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society’s past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes. In such situations, modern development should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings so that contemporary needs can be served.”

Real estate planning has been controversial for ages.  When there is limited space and an overabundance of ideas there is going to be some strife.  Deciding how to utilize highly coveted land is never easy.  Many people believe that the best way to maximize productivity on sparse land is get rid of old, historic buildings to construct new buildings that serve more contemporary needs.  I can see how people think it is more advantages to build new buildings to serve current purposes rather than saving a portion of history that may or may not be relevant to current needs.  Making a new building from the ground up that fills every intended purpose within is ideal.  Though I agree it would be perfect in the short term to construct based on current demands, I think it is very important to respect the past and keep historic buildings in the long run.  Historic structures are tangible reminders of where we came from, more economical to use, and perfectly capable of meeting contemporary needs with a little creativity.

Tearing apart history is disrespectful and abusive.  If we destroy all older buildings, we are taking away relics of the past our future generations could learn from and admire.  For instance, imagine if historic Virginia City had all new buildings and concrete sidewalks lining the streets!  Sure it would be more aesthetic, and may lend to a better economy for the residents who currently depend on seasonal tourism for money.  But without the shoddy, old buildings, painted signs like the “Suicide Table” proclaiming fortunes could be won (or lost), and tattered, brown wood boardwalks, it would not be a special place to visit and learn about the history of the old west.  my descriptive section We would know nothing about the glory days of Nevada by getting rid of the famous Bucket of Blood Casino in favor of a four star resort.  It would be a complete travesty to modernize Virginia City, whether or not the town meets current business needs.  We need reminders of where we came from as country, and destructing ancient buildings would negate our appreciation of where we are now.

Why would we want to bull-doze historic landmarks only to build brand new structures when such an act costs an abundance of money?  my rhetorical question In a time of economic downturn especially, it is just not a priority to rejuvenate all structures.  I think Louisa May Alcott who wrote, “Money is a needful and precious thing,–and when well used, a noble thing. . .”  in her book, Little Women, would agree using funds to rebuild extraneously is not using our public coffers wisely.  My book quote Not only does it cost a lot to wreck an existing old building, it takes time to do so.  It is not very practical to cease business while the former structure is demolished and the new one is undergoing construction.  Even more money would be lost due to dearth of projects during the transition.  Because it requires such resources, we should not get carried away trying to modernize the world.  I think it would be more prudent to think outside the box and figure out how to use older business to meet our needs.

Similarly, it is not necessary to build entirely new buildings to meet contemporary needs.  In fact, the veterinary hospital where I work, was previously a restaurant, and a house from the 1900s before that.  We are able to practice current, effective, and meticulous animal medicine there despite the history of the building.  As a matter of fact, part of the reason I was drawn to apply to the veterinary practice in the first place was the cute appearance of the house-turned-hospital.  My current job location certainly feels more hospitable to me than past places featuring the modern white walls and sterility of current hospitals.  It is possible to conduct current business in older establishments, and even lends character.

Because the past represents our future, it is most important to save a piece of it in our real estate.  It is sad there is a movement to vandalize our past buildings so we can construct more cookie-cutter modern structures.  How many copies of brand new buildings do we need to be satisfied?  The building and rebuilding would never stop, and as a consequence we could not appreciate the past.  Demolishing historic landmarks does not serve a greater purpose, and it costs money and takes time.  The real trick is learning to utilize the older buildings for our current purposes.  last sentence especially needs a lot of work to flow better.

brainstorm 1:20 PM-1:27

intro & conclusion

points -1:45 PM

edit -2:00 PM

Get Rid of Books! GRE Argument Analysis

15 May

I’m editing this post as a result of a pretty scary notice saying this was a violation of somebody somewhere’s copyright.  Which I guess since they care, must mean I did a pretty good job of writing on the topic–thanks for the complement.  I worked really hard, without any class, tutor, or expensive program of any kind to master the GRE.  Besides, I think it’s funny to copyright anything you post on the huge internet where everyone has access to it.  Which is available to everybody.  But, so as not to get my whole WordPress taken away, I’ll make it more generic:

(1 Question — 30 Minutes)

The following appeared in a recent record by an unnamed planning body:

    “Blah, blah we think getting rid of a public book-holding unit is a good idea in such and such county.  This is due to short funds–as everything is in this economy.  We think instead of a bunch of locations, we can scale down to the one, and people can use internet for the rest.  This should be cool since there are enough books per person here AND people in nearby locations (who are losing their locations) have not spoken up.”  Or something to that effect.  You get the gist.

12:33 PM-12:37 PM read & noted points

12:58-finished points

12:54 intro & conclusion

1:02 edited

better to write the author concludes _____ because ________ format.  Let reader know what I’m talking about without reading argument passage!  

This paragraph proposes closing a one book-holding center in some location to make a technology center.  The writer assumes many things in order to try to convince the reader that this is a good idea.  Thus, there are many reasons this article is not very logical.

Go back at very end and explicitly state the reasons I sited in each subsequent paragraph.

First of all, this statement assumes such and such location is like the rest of the country in turning to the internet for research.  It is possible the population of such and such location is not representative of the rest of the area/country.  The residents might not have an interest in technology, nor have the proper equipment or wiring to accomodate completely switching from books to the computer, they may be more advanced in age and therefore more hesitant to go to the internet over a book.  They might even rail against getting rid of books.  To show a need for the internet, the person that wrote this argument needs to present a survey of such and such location Residents who would rather use technology than the book-holding center to conduct research.  An actual increase in internet use does not translate to an automatic decrease in the need for books.

Secondly, the article jumps to the conclusion that such and such location will have a growing need for computer training.  Even if there is a true desire on the part of such and such location residents to use the internet over the library, they may not have any interest to take part in computer training.  The residents might already be computer savvy and have no need for formal training.  They could be too busy to make computer training a priority as well.  To display a true need for computer training, the writer of the passage should include a survey of such and such location residents who want to increase their computer knowledge.

The third weak point in this passage is the thought that the county book holding center contains more volumes of books per resident than any other book-holding center in the state, so it must fill the entire needs of all residents.  The article does not specify if the volumes of books cover catholic topics–they could cover a very narrow segment of subjects.  Also, the other book holding centers in the area could be almost as large, and share books between branches to meet the needs of every resident.  In that case, the one book-holding center would not fill the needs of such and such location.  To prove that the volumes contained in one location would truly fill the needs of such and such location residents, the passage could include a sample list of subjects covered in the book-holding center, or an exact number of books contained in that one branch of the book holding center.  Argument overlooks population growth in such and such location.

The final criticism of the passage is that the author assumes the residents are certain to support closing the book-holding center because residents in a nearby county did not object to closing all but one location of the book-holding center.  This result cannot be extrapolated from one location to another.  Also, the other location may have only supported such a proposition, because they knew the book-holding center in nearby such and such location would fulfill all their research needs.  Lastly, we are not told how the residents of the nearby location decided to close all but one book-holding center.  We have no idea if it was accepted at a clandestine town council meeting with hardly any atendees, or if the proposal was attached to another more desirable law change.  This is not a very relevant fact to include in the argument.

In order to be more convincing, the author of this paragraph needs to include more facts in the argument to close a branch of the such and such location book-holding center.  If the author has any hope of successfully convincing such and such location to adopt a computer training center over using the book-holding center, then facts about the true desire of the residents should be presented.

Provide summary of all paragraphs.

 

States that Hate Women Most (Re-Blog from Progressive Blogic)

14 May

My only surprise at the 10 Worst States to be a Woman AlterNet came out with is that Indiana didn’t rank higher. It seems they are leading the fight against Planned Parenthood.  According to the article, around 1,000 bills have been introduced in this legislative year to restrict women’s reproductive health. That’s not just sexism. That’s straight-up misogyny.

Ultra conservative Republicans and Democrats — because let’s not kid ourselves that it’s just Republicans pushing and voting for these regulations — advocating these kinds of laws are totally out of step with mainstream America. It’s not just one party or the other–I see through the tenuous attempts of “liberals” who preach one thing than do another.  It really makes me cynical about politics in general–I’m pretty certain all of them are profligate.  I have to have faith that following these bills that eliminate access to pap smears, vasectomies, cancer screenings and birth control, there will be a backlash that will remove all of these hateful and corrupt people from office.

The 10 Worst States to be a Woman (+ my bonus commentary):

  • Mississippi (no big surprise–this seems to be worst state for everything)
  • Texas
  • South Dakota (WHAT?  People live there?!)
  • Indiana
  • Oklahoma
  • Kansas (What else could we expect from the home of Fred Phelps?)
  • Minnesota
  • Georgia
  • Arizona (I wonder why. . .)
  • Louisiana

Indiana on the Forefront of Female Attacks (Re-Blog from Feministe)

12 May

According to Lauren Bruce, founder of Feministe, “Yesterday a bill was signed into law, cutting two-thirds of funding to Planned Parenthood of Indiana as well as requiring doctors to tell women that life begins at fertilization and that a fetus can feel pain at or before 20 weeks of pregnancy.”  Women in IN can thank governor Mitch Daniels for penning the initiative.

It’s worth mentioning that Planned Parenthood is being targeted for providing a constitutionally-protected procedure that is already prevented from federal subsidies thanks to the Hyde amendment. PP is targeted for providing abortion services at all despite having separate funding streams for abortion-related and non-abortion-related services.  You can see for yourself that this attack has little to do with money. Banning Planned Parenthood funding actually ends up costing the state MORE.  The numbers don’t lie. Fiscal conservatives should know, about half of all births in Indiana are funded by Medicaid today and estimates presage that this will “cost the state $68 million in Medicaid expenses for unintended pregnancies by reducing birth control access.”  And the attacks against Planned Parenthood, emphasis on ‘abortion-givers’, women, and common sense is spreading like wildfire.  Conservative groups in other states, meanwhile, are eyeballing the proceedings to see whether this attempt to bring down the Planned Parenthood is successful. . .

Even more scary?  The guy that took away family planning under the ruse of saving money, has higher political aspirations.  There is a lot of speculation about Daniels running in the GOP presidential primaries in 2012. He’s a shoo-in, a relatively well-liked and successful governor who favors old-school conservative methods like privatization of public services and libertarian “live and let live” approaches to social issues. Daniels is seen as a move away from “populist evangelicalism” of the current GOP. He is even on record calling for a “truce” on social issues such as abortion and same-sex marriage.  Ironic, huh?  Remember this name (Mitch Daniels) and AVOID voting for him in any future election.

Stereotyping Works?! GRE issue essay–>part lost count

11 May

“The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society’s ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people.”

The question of whether or not it is appropriate and successful to confer a person’s inner ideas and values through glancing at their clothes or noticing their public actions is a very relevant one.   Implying we can note everything about a person within minutes of meeting them is somewhat problematic for any marginalized population.  An unfinished thought–why?  Because people may  jump to the wrong conclusions without analyzing an abundance of information, that view is sometimes criticized.  Sure, inferring information through quick, superficial means, is not one hundred percent accurate, but it does do justice to the subject’s internal motivations a good majority of the time.  Though looking at only the most surface aspects of people can lead to incorrect assumptions, I believe in the other side of this argument:  Superficial stereotypes do indeed belie much of society’s ideas and values.

Firstly, I agree with the latter opinion, because I see how pervasive media influence is in society.  Probably the biggest succesful example of how we are able to look at simple things and glean good internal information is the way media conveys what the United States is all about.  The media is like a mirror that reflects back what a population wants to see.  Good sentence.  If television, news, and advertising did not present images that the majority of the population did not find acceptable it would not last very long financially.  Awkwardly written b/c it’s the neg–make more readable in pos form ie media presents what we wanna see, because its funding depends on viewer-ship.  [Because the media has to depend on money, it shows society what society wants to look at.  This is the most dramatic example of gleaning information through superficial means.  redundant]  America is beginning to embrace a more environmental outlook, and it can be seen in many media forms.  We have “green” information commercials on NBC, one of the largest broadcasting corporations, and the auto manufacturers are making energy efficient cars.  come up w/better exp–or at least tie these 2 together better.  It is no accident that media portrays a larger, more superficial image of our country’s belief systems.

Secondly, good transition/listing words this time.  I think the statement that people are capable of seeing how a person will be based on looks and mannerisms, because we have to depend on this method frequently.  Job interviews, for example rely almost entirely on snippets of a person’s attire, conversation skills, and attitudes.  A person that goes into an interview with unwashed hair and ripped jeans may not care about their physical appearance.  It would more than likely correct to assume they were not well-suited for a job selling apparel.  Sometimes we have to depend on more external features of a person to get a feel for their motivations and ethics.

Finally, concluding a person’s internal motivations by seeing their outside traits is appropriate because as much as we do not like to admit it, this is a natural behavior for people.  In cave man days, we had to quickly ascertain if animals or other people were a threat for our own survival.  As such we evolved to be able to perceive face shapes, body language, and other superficial qualities and process them as good or bad.  Expand by saying full, round faces are seen as non-threatening, or palms up = friendly vs quick hand motions = aggressive.  Because we have held on to this trait, it is still widely employed, and successful.  As humans, we want to categorize things quickly, so looking and sensing superficial aspects about a person to quickly interpret their ideas and values is natural. Again, a redundant point.

It is difficult to admit that much of what we see upon first meeting someone can translate to their deeper feelings and attitudes.  This method of perceiving is not politically correct, nor is it something we want to admit to employing. Not only does everyone wants to feel like a unique individual, but the assumptions can be detrimental to minority populations as it relies on stereotypes and dehumanizes them.  When we do not see humanity as a group of individuals and treat them as such, it can give way to prejudice and negative consequences.  Yes, it is natural to us to categorize people according to mostly ture assumptions based on surface facts, but we should try get to know every person instead.

3:00 PM

brainstorm til 3:09 PM

intro and conclusion til 3:25 PM

3:46 finished–NO TIME FOR EDITING, sigh. . .

Fractured Fairytale–Feminist Style!

7 May

Now that I’ve refreshed your memory of Disney’s popular version of the story which pervades the media, here is the esoteric version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.  You will see after reading this prose, how Disney imbued his stories with patriarchy.  My version of the story has penetrated deep into the Disney script and eliminated the permeating factors of negative female stereotypes from within.  My version of Snow White is an arcane fractured fairytale of feminist proportions!  And remember just because a story is obscure doesn’t mean it isn’t just as relevant as the more common prose.  Hopefully, this story suffused with girl-positive symbolism will be the future of all fairytale–where women are strong, smart, and independent. . .

ONCE UPON A TIME

well-known queen sits reading at the window and intermittently gazing at the peaceful snow.  She gets a papercut when flipping the page and upon seeing three drops of red blood fall on the perfectly white snow, dreams about having an equally ideal daughter with white-hot thirst for knowledge and burning red passion to change the world.  Later, later, later the queen is blessed with an illustrious child that is the paragon of inner-beauty with a compassion pure as snow, a motivation that flushed her cheeks red, and a dark wit (when appropriate).  Unfortunately, the queen dies very shortly after and the king remarries an officious, yet well-intentioned woman.

This gorgeous women, was very smart, and unlike the King’s first wife who only dabbled in politics, this new queen had an interest in taking a leadership role around the castle and in the community.  The King felt threatened that his new wife had higher aspirations than just dilettantes roles around his kingdom.  To keep her in her place, he started to stigmatize her about her good looks.  At first, it was more of a subconscious effort on his part to keep this new queen from usurping his power.  But steadily his efforts to keep the queen in a disenfranchised state so she was no threat to his role as king became continuous.  After constant mocking and criticism, this new queen of his became obsessed with checking herself out in the mirror.  She doubted her once good looks, and felt small and self-conscious.  The king hoped that the queen would remain so entranced by the mirror that she would never take a leadership position in the castle.  All he wanted were for things to remain the same–with him safely in the most dictatorial role.

Snow White and the Queen got along well, but the king began to demur to their kinship as his daughter aged, because he felt threatened  having so much female influence around the castle.  The king dissented to all the time his wife and daughter were spending together, especially since his wife’s self-esteem was better as a result of Snow White’s pervasive positive body image.  The queen gained self-confidence through seeing her step-daughter’s motivation to make the world a better place–starting with the palace.  Snow White was beginning to remonstrate against some of the oldest traditions in the kingdom, such as collecting a dowry for a new bride!  Sure, the King was able to keep his wife preoccupied with her looks, but certainly he could not achieve such a hold over his own daughter.  What if the women became empowered and ganged up on him?  What if the castle and court liked the ladies better and stopped listening to him or worse yet, derided him for being such a weak man?  The king would not be ridiculed for losing control over the women in his own family, and he could not have a threat to his patriarchal rule.

In order to expurgate this tool of feminism from his kingdom, the king demanded the huntsmen to kill his daughter out in the woods using the excuse that his wife had actually ordered the kill because she was threatened by Snow White’s beauty.  Knowing the female confidence, and later hunger for equal power, would spread like an epidemic, he felt ossified in trying to sanitize the castle from Snow White’s influence.  To confirm the assassination, the king relentlessly requested the huntsman bring his daughter’s heart back.

Snow White had an inkling of what fate would befall her, when she was invited to the woods for a pic-nic.  As such, she used every dilatory tactic she knew to prevent anything bad.  Once in the woods the huntsman’s previously inured heart was warmed by the princess’laggard manner which showed a tenacious zest for life.  He admirably took pity on Snow White and told her to run away and live cautiously.  Knowing the consequences of being disloyal to the king, the huntsman shot a deer and collected its heart to corroborate his tale of murder.  Upon receiving the heart, the king was so propitiated his status was protected that he had no idea any perfidiousness had taken place.  Not wanting DNA evidence of the hit to be traced to him, the king cooked and ate the heart of his daughter along with dinner.

In the woods, Snow White came upon an anomalous family of seven dwarfs who offered her shelter in return for her to clean, cook, and sew while they were mining.  At first she found the house-cleaning tasks in exchange for free room and board to be a fair trade-off.  But then the jobs kept increasing in amount.  The dwarfs began to get more slovenly, leaving dishes unwashed, beds unmade, and toilets un-flushed simply because they could.  Snow White OWED them after all!  The accretion of chores became so dramatic that Snow White did not have a minute to eat, nor an hour to sleep.  She was constantly scrubbing and laboring for the dwarfs.  The dwarfs were treating her more like a slave than the boarder she was.  Every day the dwarfs would send a shrill shrieking through the woods as they tunelessly whistled on their journey to work or back.  When they left Snow White in the house, they ordered her to be discreet and warned her to be provident about letting anyone in while they were out.  They had a good thing going, and didn’t want anyone to steal their free labor!

Not one to sit around waiting for someone to rescue her, Snow White brainstormed a way to get an urgent message to the queen. She knew the mail carrier did not come this far into the woods, and could not trust that a courier would not tell her father or the dwarfs of her plans.  Thinking back to biblical times. Snow White thought of sending a note with a dove.  When none were to be found, so she settled on sending the message with a pigeon.  In her letter, she said she was desperate to attempt an escape from the excessive amount of cleaning, glut of cooking (and resultant bad manners), and superfluity of endless sewing projects she endured with the dwarfs.

The queen turned away from her mirror and saw a pigeon with a paper tied to its foot and the visible word ‘exigent‘ on the corner of the scrap. She was astonished to find that the paper was a message from he supposedly deceased stepdaughter!  After being happily surprised that Snow White was alive and well after all, the queen became fearful of her husband and knew she had to take critical measures.  Together, using the pigeon to transport notes, the queen and Snow White worked out a plan to rise above their situations.  While the surfeit of dreaded little men were out working, the queen would dress in disguise and render Snow White comatose.  Then, when the little men let their guard down, Snow White would escape her slavery.

On the first attempt, the queen an anodyne wrap on laces to relax and sedate the princess.  The whistling dwarfs came home and untied the laces, waking Snow White from her calming slumber, and foiling the plan.  The queen’s second attempt to rescue Snow White required her to dress as an old woman and employed the use of a narcotic comb.   Upon combing her stepdaughter’s black locks, the princess fell into a peaceful sleep.  The queen was interrupted by the shrill whistling of the little men before a large enough dose was dispersed, and Snow White again awakened prematurely.  Finally, the queen dressed as a farmer’s wife to avoid suspicion and brought an opiate apple to Snow White.   The princess had half of the apple and promptly fell into a deep sleep, and the queen anxious to flee the scene before she was seen by the dwarfs ate the other half of the apple to get rid of the evidence and calm her own nerves with what little nepenthe that remained on the fruit.

The dwarfs finally gave up reviving their female help and put her in a clear coffin so they could still objectify the pretty girl.  Meanwhile a capricious prince rode into the area and unpredictablyhad necrophiliac leanings.  He demanded the coffin containing the female form from the dwarfs, and because he was bigger and more powerful, won her body to do with what he pleased.  During the journey, there was commotion when the coffin went over some bushes, jostling it, and the poisoned apple was dislodged from stunned Snow White’s throat.  She woke up, and scuttled quickly out of the erratic prince’s vicinity.  Glad to be away from the dwarfs and the prince, Snow White sprinted home to face her father. . .

When she got to the palace she saw the town had revolted against her father’s antiquated ways and had impeached him.  They favored a democracy instead of a dictatorship.  The kingdom, ecstatic their favorite progressive influence was alive after all, planned an extravagant coming home party for Snow White with a multifarious and diverse guest list.  This broad list contained everyone from the region, including her father, the former king.  Never one to miss a grandiose event, the disgruntled king attended the party, that was unbeknownst to him an investiture of authority.  The townspeople, voted for Snow White to lead the kingdom, because he her great leadership skills, compassionate nature, and enduring spirit.  The other guests showed their disapproval that the king had so heartlessly impugned Snow White, and ostracized him for being a demagogue. The community also wanted the king to wear hot iron shoes and dance until he died, but Snow White would not hear of it.  She instead ordered her father, the former king to read feminist novels until he was enlightened and donate his time to battered women’s shelters and Planned Parenthood.

And Snow White ruled fairly and let her newly educated father stay in the castle with the former queen who had regained her self-esteem and the whole society lived happily ever after. . .

THE END

Maybe if whimsical tales had more empowering messages for women our society would be a little different!

River Recreation–>Analyze an Argument, GRE Style, Part II

5 May

1:45 PM

In surveys Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating and fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes little of its budget to maintaining riverside recreational facilities. For years there have been complaints from residents about the quality of the river’s water and the river’s smell. In response, the state has recently announced plans to clean up Mason River. Use of the river for water sports is therefore sure to increase. The city government should for that reason devote more money in this year’s budget to riverside recreational facilities.

Conclusion=The city should devote more money in this year’s budget to riverside recreational activities.

Why?

A.  City residents rank water sports among their favorite activities.

I neglect to say that just b/c a sport is a favorite, doesn’t mean a person participates in that sport.

I also neglect to dispute the credibility of the survey–Who sponsored it?  How many people were asked?

B.  The state has resolved to clean up the river because of the citizens’ complaints that it is dirty.

Assumptions:

A.  Residents will want to utilize local water for recreation as long as it is clean.

a.  The only reason people do not use the Mason River for water sports is the fact it is unsanitary.

I neglect to say that people with no interest in water sports may have complained about the smell of the river.

b.  There are no other variables such as weather, traffic, cost, or location detouring water recreation.

B.  The river, will in fact, get cleaned to the standards of city dwellers.

1:55 PM finished brainstorming (10 min)

On the argument portion, it’s better to write assumptions on scratch paper so I can easily refer to the list.  I’ll get more and break down the statement in a more meticulous way.

A few faulty assumptions contained in the statement makes this argument weak.  The author of the paragraph assumes a direct causal link to the Mason River’s purity and the likelihood of citizens to utilize it for recreation.  The author also neglects to anticipate other variables besides water quality that might preclude the use of the river for water recreation purposes.  Another major assumption in the statement is the certainty that the water will be cleaned in a certain time frame, and to the standards of the public.  In is not necessarily true that water sports will increase just because the river is cleaned.

After the first sentence, I need to write why we care if the argument is well reasoned–it impacts funding.

A major assumption in the paragraph is that the river is going to be cleaned.  In order to convince the reader that more money should be spent of water sports because the river will get cleaned, the author needs to provide hard evidence that this will happen.  Dates that the water purity will be bettered should be included.  The quantitative improvements to the water should also be stated to help convince the reader that the river will have higher quality water.

Use clear transitions between paragraphs, and build on my argument.

This paragraph leads us to believe the only reason Mason City residents do not pursue water sports in the Mason River is due to water purity issues.  By assuming a cause and effect relationship with water cleanliness and recreation the author has made a major flaw in logic.  The author needs to refute other factors that may cause residents to abstain from water sports in the Mason River such as weather patterns, traffic flow, availability of space near the river, and cost of pursuing water sports at Mason River compared to the average income of Mason City residents.

Use better ordering words for all paragraphs:  First, second, in addition, and so on. . .

Finally the author assumes that the river could support the type of water recreation that the citizens of Mason City covet.  In order to show the reader that the river will indeed become the source of much recreation after it is cleaned, the author should show in what ways the water can and will be used.  Examples of how boating is possible, where the best fishing on the river is located, and how the slow and gentle current enables great swimming should be provided to help convince people to spend more money on river recreation.

Because the author assumes some direct cause and effect relationships in this statement, the article is weak.  To strengthen the assertions in the paragraph, the author should provide facts that the water, will in fact be cleaned to the citizens’s standards during the time period in question.  If the writer could provide facts showing that the other variables would not negate increasing water recreation for Mason River the reader would be more likely to support the extra funds solicited.

Write reasons I think funding should be increased.  Flesh out the author’s conclusion and state why it will not be believed.

2:12 PM finished writing. (17 min)

2:14 PM finished editing (2 min)