28 Sep

I haven’t posted in awhile because suddenly, nothing seemed good enough.  I had plenty of ideas, but wanted to flesh them out more to do them justice.  I felt like posting any of them would somehow shortchange them.  Also, I have about ten blog drafts, but felt like I should edit, edit, edit to get them in better condition.  I guess I became perfectionistic which overwhelmed and handicapped me.

trying to keep my head above water

The same thing has been happening with my career search.  I feel nothing is good enough.  I don’t know where to start.  So instead of trudging through, or at least making a list of small, managable steps like I know I should.  I’m just. . .  Stuck.

I’m not certain what has been happening with me lately.  Maybe I’m just tired.  Or overworked–my half day got all messed up because two co-workers called in sick on consecutive days.  And I didn’t really love how it was just assumed I would give up my half day–both days.  Just forfeit it.  No one asked, it was just sort of understood.  This, more than anything, is why I need to find myself a real career with a contract and respect for me and my schedule.  This thought also makes me panic and even more frozen in the search.  What kind of job is like that?  Where should I turn?  What am I most qualified for, and would I enjoy that?

Maybe tomorrow I’ll make progress.  I hope so.

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