I haven’t posted in awhile because suddenly, nothing seemed good enough. I had plenty of ideas, but wanted to flesh them out more to do them justice. I felt like posting any of them would somehow shortchange them. Also, I have about ten blog drafts, but felt like I should edit, edit, edit to get them in better condition. I guess I became perfectionistic which overwhelmed and handicapped me.
The same thing has been happening with my career search. I feel nothing is good enough. I don’t know where to start. So instead of trudging through, or at least making a list of small, managable steps like I know I should. I’m just. . . Stuck.
I’m not certain what has been happening with me lately. Maybe I’m just tired. Or overworked–my half day got all messed up because two co-workers called in sick on consecutive days. And I didn’t really love how it was just assumed I would give up my half day–both days. Just forfeit it. No one asked, it was just sort of understood. This, more than anything, is why I need to find myself a real career with a contract and respect for me and my schedule. This thought also makes me panic and even more frozen in the search. What kind of job is like that? Where should I turn? What am I most qualified for, and would I enjoy that?
Maybe tomorrow I’ll make progress. I hope so.