“Rape is JUST About Sex”

17 Mar

I have encountered trolls on feminist blogs that say rape is simply about sex.  They refuse to believe rape is about power, control, aggression, and patriarchy.  I challenge, that if rape is truely about sex then the places that have legalized prostitution should have lower rates of rape.  Because by all intensive purposes, no one should have to force sex, because they can just buy it.

My home state of Nevada, for instance, has legal brothels that “sell” sex.  Yet, Nevada’s rape rate is consistently higher than the national rate.  The large counties (cities within include Las Vegas, Reno, Sparks, & Carson City) in Nevada disallow prostitution, but many of the more rural counties have legalized it for economic reasons.

“Among the rural counties in the state, those with legalized prostitution have rape rates in 2007 that are over 5 times larger than rural counties without legalized prostitution. The average rape rate in rural counties with legalized prostitution (46 per 100,000 population) is also higher than rape rates in the urban counties within the state (42 per 100,000 population).”

http://www.unlv.edu/centers/crimestats/SDBs/Rape/Rape%20in%20Nevada%20v4.pdf

Let’s not even go into the situation in Asian countries such as Thailand, where prostitution is prevalent.  I think we can all recognize women (transsexuals) are not treated with respect there and rape is a massive problem.

Don’t get me wrong–I think legalized prostitution is the best way.  Those women are STD tested regularly, they have regulations that condoms must be used, they are safer then females working the streets, and the ranches pay the women really, really nice wages.

My mom had a student bring his mom’s W2 in for show and tell and the women at the Moundhouse brothels garner wages that exponentially exceed a teacher’s salary.  And the prostitute I knew lived on the Arnold Palmer Golf Course, drove a BMW, and had three pure-bred Bengals as well as a prominently displayed boob-job pic of herself on her fridge.  The Moonlight BunnyRanch gals are not hurting for money–that’s for sure.

And who am I to say they shouldn’t pursue that line of work.  If the women end up there (b/c NObody WANTS to become a prostitute) they have the right to stay there if it is profitable for them and if they can live with it.  I think the problem lies with the men who support those businesses.  The women wouldn’t do it if there was no money in it (and if they didn’t have other emotional, self-esteem, or addiction problems).  Society should look down at the men who go into brothels, pay for sex illegally, or rape women to get sex.  That is the problem.  And it’s a societal one.

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8 Responses to ““Rape is JUST About Sex””

  1. thesecond March 18, 2012 at 9:35 AM #

    “People that take drugs or rape are searching for something that will make them feel better or likelier help them escape their problems. A well-adjusted person with no underlying issues goes to the movies, has a meaningful relationship, or finds another lawful and positive option to derive pleasure from life. ”

    I agree. And they take drugs because the drugs make them feel high. Feeling high makes them feel happy and helps them escape from their problems. Your argument was that rape was about power, patriarchy, things like that. What if rape was just about rape?

    A lot of surveys of rapists have found that they lack good social skills. The rape may be because of the underlying issue that they can’t get sex in the normal way because they never learnt that when they were young. They were learning how to avoid beatings from mommy, not how to deal with women.

    As such, one way to stop them raping women would be to teach them good social skills and ways to behave. Actual good social skills from socially skilled people, not just advice like “If she says no, respect that.”. Teach good love in school so that rapists don’t need bad love. How to approach a woman, what sort of small talk to make, how to dress, how to meet the parents.

    • kit10phish March 18, 2012 at 9:56 AM #

      I agree with you about teaching good social skills early, and especially about teaching young boys how to appropriately treat people/women. Knowing how to meet people in a natural way and foster a meaningful relationship is a way to avoid cultivating future rapists. Also addressing any problems/traumas early and in healthy ways is crucial.

      I think once a rapist HAS the maladjusted problem of sexual misconduct including rape though, it is a cop-out to let them say it’s just about sex. Blame for rape lies solely with the rapist. Not looking at the root of the cause and holding them accountable for behavior places the blame elsewhere.

      Going back to the addict comparison, letting an alcoholic say they only drink because they like the taste/buzz gives them an out not to soul-search and address the REAL problem. These underlying issues have to be dealt with if either the addict or rapist ever hopes to recover. And that is the true goal in trying to find out WHY they do what they do.

  2. thesecond March 18, 2012 at 8:23 AM #

    Drug addicts often take drugs to medicate their abnormal brains. They had childhood abuse so they can’t ever get happy so they take meth. People don’t take drugs because they were abused as a child, they take drugs because the drugs make them feel better. They may feel crappy because they were abused as a child, but they still take the drug to be happy, not because of abuse.

    Likewise, a rapist rapes someone because the sex makes them happy. They may not know why they have issues, but they know they want sex. As they said. I see no reason to trust in our vague musings about why rapists rape over why the rapists actually say they rape.

    • kit10phish March 18, 2012 at 9:03 AM #

      You have to dig deeper–there is always a root to the cause. Just because people don’t always do the hard work of self-analysis, doesn’t mean the surface reason for a behavior is true.

      People that take drugs or rape are searching for something that will make them feel better or likelier help them escape their problems. A well-adjusted person with no underlying issues goes to the movies, has a meaningful relationship, or finds another lawful and positive option to derive pleasure from life.

      People that find mal-adaptive, illegal means to get happy–have reason for it. Try to find an addict or rapist without a history of trauma or that have good coping skills.

  3. wrongreaction March 18, 2012 at 12:26 AM #

    Something I happen to find interesting (well, maybe “interesting” is not the right word – I’d say “depressing” or “nonsensical” fits the bill a little better) is the way that, while in the professional mental health world there seems to be at least some sort of consensus that rape isn’t really about sex for the perpetrator, they still seem insistent on making it about sex for the victim. They label any victim who is able to bring herself to be sexually active after being raped a “slut” or a “faker”…because, clearly, even though rape is not sex (I mean, technically it is, but the emotional aspects and so on are not even comparable in most cases), any woman who has been raped should rationally Have A Fear Of Consensual Sex Forever. It’s maddening.

    • kit10phish March 18, 2012 at 6:37 AM #

      That IS maddening. The system is definitely flawed when it comes to rape. As a woman, I know, that of COURSE rape is not the same as consensual sex. How could it be remotely similar?

      I especially don’t like when women who report their rape are called liars/sluts. It must take tremendous courage to report something so personal, humiliating, damaging. . . And knowing the statistics of how many cases don’t go through and how many rapists are not charged with a crime is deterring as well. So who would report phony rapes is beyond me.

  4. thesecond March 17, 2012 at 7:44 PM #

    http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=roychiRaM8gC&pg=PA229&lpg=PA229&dq=motivation+for+rape+study&source=bl&ots=Kq42fPIrO_&sig=b_b7y8xcXq5cscwgBTR9I81lM2Y&hl=en&sa=X&ei=AktlT87tNYal4gSs4o2lCA&ved=0CGMQ6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=motivation%20for%20rape%20study&f=false

    84% of rapists cite sexual motivation as a reason to rape. Those researchers who have promoted the idea that rape is about power have said this is not really about sex because they didn’t seek consent.

    Maybe horny men with no social skills see prostitutes and think “if she is a prostitute, all women must be prostitutes”.

    • kit10phish March 17, 2012 at 8:15 PM #

      I’m not certain how accurate rape motivation statistics that are self-reported might be. Do you think rapists are capable of the self-analysis to even SAY why they do what they do? I’m sure drug addicts SAY they take meth/heroin/crack because they like the high, too. The addiction probably has more to do with childhood trauma, self-esteem or abandonment or depression issues, and so on. Same with the rapists–they have issues they themselves may not even be cognitive of. Also, think about those rapists that have wives and girlfriends, and yet still rape. . .

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