What Do You Say???

9 May

When you almost kill an animal? I’m sorry–it’s not enough. Plus, that’s obvious–I was/am sorry. This is why/here’s an excuse/cast blame–no one wants to hear it. No one cares. It just makes you look like even more of an a$$hole, as well as irresponsible.

Well, it happened today. To me unfortunately.  I’ve seen a lot of co-workers do really stupid or neglectful things over the last 17 years of being inside vet hospitals in one capacity or another.  But somehow I escaped any REAL, REAL bad situations.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of screw-ups–but nothing LIFE threatening thus far.  I don’t even know how it happened today. It’s something I do nearly every day I work. I know the seriousness of the task, I realize the consequences. And yet. . . It still happened. And worse, my attention was elsewhere, and I didn’t catch my mistake in a hurry. Luckily, our tech did.

It was almost the most horrible scene ever. If it had played out, we would have lost that animal–completely MY fault. A lot of vets would have yelled at me.  Mine didn’t.  Maybe she should have. . .  That kitten could have died this morning.  And if it had–and if I hadn’t been fired on the spot (which maybe I would have been), I would have quit.  Right then and there–no matter the financial consequences to me.

And now I’m nervous. I don’t know why it happened. Was I too tired? Too upset about *insert LIFE here*? Did I get distracted? Was I f^cking around?  Do I just not care as much as I should? I really don’t know why I messed up so badly, so it’s a difficult thing to prevent/change/avoid. And of course, a lot of trust is lost when something like that goes down.  Everyone else loses trust in me–and I lose trust in me.

That’s all I have to say.  Because, really, what else is there?

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