Running Away

13 May

Cognitively, I know a person cannot escape their problems by running away. Problems have a way of following you until they are dealt with. Behaviors must change, time must pass, a lesson has to be learned for problems to get solved.

And yet, I have had a strong urge to get out of here. Moving to Colorado sooner rather then later seems the answer to all my problems: Have a job where I can work part-time, and leave when I am out of the building. Have education at my fingertips. Live in a safer and nicer apartment with laundry IN unit and have the ability to have all 3 of my cats under one roof. Be in close proximity to entertainment, recreation, music, scenery, and an airport for travel. Clear blue skies. It all seems a dream come true, and the easy answer.

So I HAVE to remember that moving sucks. It’s hard work and expensive. I couldn’t afford good housing even if I did move. And the deposit–ugh. . . My job–would likely be worse. My resume is set up for vet assistant work, and I probably won’t be eligible for anything else until I have secured a Masters in my new field. Sure, I would have entertainment and travel readily available–but I wouldn’t be able to afford them. And that would be torture.

So I just have to wait it out. Moving will not solve any of my problems and will bring on a slew of new problems. So I need to appreciate what I have. Here.

Things I like about being “here”

-the ducklings that live in the river, and our river view

-quiet neighbors (I hope I didn’t jinx it) right now

-Auntie’s Bookstore

-hot summers

-our proximity to the community college’s all-weather track

-the trail (however dangerous) from our apartment to downtown

-working with kitties

-my Apache Tribe at work

-my boss (most of the time)

-the fact all my cats are happy

-my small university

-cheap rent (living alone) and the longer we live here, the more likely we are to get our full deposit back.

-Manito Park with all its flowers

-Green Bluff in the fall

-easy access to The Grocery Outlet

-ability to visit Seattle, my extended family in MT, and “The German”

-wide roads and good parking availability

-a swimming pool within walking distance

-the Steelhead, Flying Goat, Zola, Northern Lights

-St. Patty’s Day Parade downtown

-legit boot-wearing weather (not that I like winter, or want it to last long)

-no property tax

I will just have to change my life here.  And I guess I’m moving toward it.  Slowly.  Painfully slow.  But moving toward change and beginning to solve my problems none-the-less.  Which will make CO all the better when we get there.

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