Today (I wrote this yesterday, actually) really made me feel glum. Angry, sad, resentful, hopeless, trapped, frustrated, disliked, annoyed, paranoid, depressed, agitated, infuriated, irate, unimportant, suspicious, pissed, sorry for myself, restricted, mad, un-trusting, worthless, unloved. All in cycles. You’d think I was the bipolar one.
Cool: Her mood has been a range of 3-4 on a scale of 1 (suicidal) to 10 (manic euphoria). She is withdrawn, depressed, listless, and as a result everything is more difficult. She’s tired all the time. When she does show any emotion it’s annoyance–at me. She has no money. She can’t find anyone to borrow from (as she learned her financial habits FROM her parents). She owes her psychiatrist $250 for the LAST appointment, so she had to cancel her appointment on Monday. That she needs. Having no money, makes her feel like a loser, which makes her MORE depressed. And she needs the doctor even more–a real catch-22. She’s going to try to sell her plasma tomorrow and Friday to get money. . .
Work: Informed me I WOULD be switching my co-worker days off. Remember my post turned rant on this very issue? Look back in the archives, to refresh. So the co-worker heard me say no to trading and went over my head to my boss. Meaning I have to work with Dr. Makes Me Effing Crazy every Thursday, Friday, and alternating Saturdays for 10 weeks of the summer. I
might will go crazy. Meanwhile, my co-worker gets the perfect schedule–of Monday through Wednesday on with the faster, cleaner, easier to work with doctor ONLY, Thursday through Sunday OFF. The receptionist will keep her every other 3 day weekends (I’m certain), and the tech will now have Fridays in addition to her regular Saturdays off. My reward? I get to have no more than 30 hours in the fall while I’m taking 6 credits. Fair?
School: Good news is going part-time means I get to put my undergrad loans into forbearance, which will save me about $300 per month. Bad news is the loan companies (3 different ones, no less) require verification of part-time status. Of course, the school, requires forms to verify the loans–one form per loan company. Maddeningly, the school, true to their colors, is making me jump through a bunch of hoops. Despite filling out every blank on their own form, they already “discarded” one request all-together without so much as a notification, and refuse to verify enrollment until the first day of classes–which is specified nowhere on the paperwork. And the website says, “Students needing to verify their enrollment for a future term.” My emphasis on future. But this gal, called me (at work) and accused me of not putting enough information on the form. Even though I filled all the blanks on THEIR form. And told me she can’t verify my intentions, I’d have to re-submit on the first day of class. Never mind, I could still drop my classes for full refund at that point–that’s the arbitrary and annoying date. Even though I owe tuition money before that. Oh–and I have to re-fill and re-fax the paperwork–she can’t put it on file until it is useful. And obviously, I pissed off the one person that handles these verifications with my implication (through pointed questions and tone of voice) she wasn’t properly doing her job. Good for me!
Additive: 1-3) The co-worker who gamed me by manipulating the schedule, asked me at the beginning of the week if I could take my half day Wednesday. This meant I would have to go to the bank on a work day. We don’t have direct deposit at my work b/c some spoiled bitch hates change, so I tried to deposit my check at the ATM Monday. Which I hate doing, because it made me have to go out of my way, winding through downtown in rush hour. Only to find they had closed yet another branch of Bank of America. To get it done, I had to go out of my way to deposit my check before work. While co-worker left work early. 4) The weather went from summery and 80s to rainy and 55. And gray. 5) My face is breaking out–really big and ugly. 6) I’m sure there’s more, but it’s a new day today (the day I’m editing my writing) and I’m tired of thinking about how awful yesterday was.
I took my very first (EVER) paid vacation day (4 hours really) this Saturday to give myself a full three day weekend, when the rest of the country is taking their Memorial Day weekend for granted. I need that time off. Badly.