Hair-Raising

13 Jul

Time for another major pet-peeve: One-tonal blonde hair. I am never certain why (women especially) think this looks good. I blame unreasonable expectations driven by patriarchy and capitalism.  Just because a lot of celebs sport the look–which is costly to maintain.  It looks unnatural! And bad. Often it is orangy-yellowy so the color turns out brassy. Not. Cute.  At.  All.  Sorostitutes with brassy orange/gold hair and Oompa-Loompa orange, fake & bake skin = weird looking, not gorgeous.

Also, that icky blondie-blonde color absolutely destroys your hair. Bleach, black, and box dye are 3 of the worst cardinal hair sins. Even IF the color looks good (it doesn’t) the dry, brittle “hair” left on your head looks like it’s about to fall out–it is. People, you do those colors too much on your hair, and that hair will break. Nothing is fashionable about that.  And maybe you will go bald early. Yick. Especially if you process the hair in other ways: Blow dry, curl, straighten, chemically alter.

Maybe worst of all = roots. Roots are so, so, SO, SO ugly! Any that are showing make you look trash-E-trash. Especially people that stray far from their natural color–black roots on a brassy head = appalling. Red roots on black hair–I’m not even going to address it it’s so terrible.  So if you must dye–keep up on the touch-ups.  Even one day of striped hair makes you look lazy and gross.

So do your hair (and spectators) a favor and keep your natural color. Plus, staying within a color-range semi-near your own matches your skin/eyebrows.  [un-matching eyebrows *shakes head*] Not a lot of people can carry off strong blondes/blacks/reds because it clashes with their complexion.  Really, you will look a LOT cuter if you keep a natural look.  Even if you feel like it’s boring.

Or at least get highlights and low lights. I’m not going to lie–if I could afford to do it consistently (and keep up on the roots) I would totally dye my hair.  And I certainly will when too much of it turns gray.  Probably a truer shade of blonde–with low lights obviously.  You have to have mutli-dimensional color–professionally done, and not over-treat your hair for it to look soft, naturally lovely, and beautiful.  Yeesh–get a clue.

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