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Reach for the Sun (New Years–>New Life, Part 2)

31 Dec

I know the quote says “. . .moon, so you can fall to the stars” but I feel I need the sun, because I have a tendency to look toward the darker side of matters. So the sun is better because looking toward the bright, positive future is better for my psyche.  This post is all about stating clear and practical goals that address problems and get me headed in the direction I want to move.  Up.


-Do my job the way I always do with much care and great work-ethic.  BUT if it’s something extra, and that thing is unappreciated–stop doing it.  I’m not going for martyrdom here–and these things add up and make me extremely bitter.

-Secondly, if I do have a legit concern, I need to bring it up to the person who has power to change it.  Immediately, and in an unemotional well-thought manner.  No more suffering and marinating on hostilities in (relative) silence.  No more keeping inside until it bursts out inappropriately.

-Third, and maybe most importantly–just work the minimal hours to pay my bills.  No more, because it hurts me inside.  True story.


-Remember that it’s not my job to be responsible for Cool.  I can love and support, and make sure things don’t end up affecting ME–but I can’t do everything for her.  This year, as long as I am still OK, I will let her fail.  Though, I will continue to talk up the calender method of organization.

-On a lighter note, I will remember to do nice things often for Cool.  Just because.

-Appreciate at least one thing daily.

-Get back to weekly massage.

-Get back to more frequent cooking.


-I will continue to make this THE priority.  As such, I will study when I don’t want to, keep up on reading, notes, and flashcards daily, and give 110%.

-My motto:  Just 10 minutes (more).  Pick up the studies just for 10, and put it down if it still sucks. When I want to quit in the middle of studying, give just 10 more min.  This really helps, and most of the time turns into a longer time.

-Combine physical activity with studying whenever possible.  I don’t know if this is a “thing” but I seem to retain info better when I study it in motion.

-As a side-note, I will MAKE myself overlook crummy professors and bureaucratic nonsense.  These things don’t matter to my life and only make me stressed out.


-The very most difficult thing to do, because it’s constant and matters on a daily basis.  Also, the most important factor in success.

-Everything is just a small fraction of time–remember that.

-Get up at 4 AM.  Study a little school, and get to work early.

-Walk/study at least 3x/wk.

-Go to bed early, after reading for pleasure at least a tiny bit.


-Save a little every month.  Even if it’s only $5.  Because that will add up and help for the big move to Colorado.

-Trudge through the undergrad loan forbearance procedures even though they are super-tedious and repetitive and stupid.  THIS is what really allows me to work part-time.

-This also comes under food, but be smart about groceries in order to minimize food expenditures   Which, unfortunately, were my #1 expense in 2012.

-2013 is all about living like a pioneer–simplify and appreciate the small things.  Enjoy free fun.

-No concerts in 2013.  None.  We can listen to music at home, watch DVD concerts, and appreciate music on Spotify.

-No travel either.  OK, that hurts too much and takes everything good out of this small life.  Minimize travel and look at keeping expenses low.


-Keep running at all-weather track multiple times a week.  Keep working toward mile goal and all shorter distance goals in order to get there.

-Park further away.

-Find a way to renew Wii-Fit interest or do a in-house workout for winter.  Stick to this even when I’m tired.


-Get to Costco seasonally.

-Go to Grocery Outlet every other Sunday morning.  Stop going to Safeway all-together.

-Get in the kitchen and fix something daily.  Even on work days when I’m exhausted.  Even on test days when I need to study.  Most people cook 2-3 meals a day–I can prepare at least one.

-Get back to cooking something interesting on weekends.  It’s one of our best date activities and we love it.  Also, it saves money.

-Continue to watch calories, but start to manipulate them–not just observe.


-Drink more water.

-Exercise/study/do art replace these behaviors by doing things that I like.

-Get Cool to be more supportive.

-Mind the calories.

-Latest possible in the day, because it helps reduce the amount.

-Change my thoughts and erase these routines.

-Read about this.

-Look at the above goals, and remember NOT sticking to this one negates any progress on the others.

Small steps, ought to help me get to the BIG goals.  Which are eventually:  Get a career.  Move to a loft in CO.  Be able to live like a person, financially.  Who needs luck when you have will-power?

Mirrors and Reflection (New Year–>New Life, Part 1)

31 Dec

It is that time again.  The time to look back, make changes, then look forward.

Moments of 2012.  I’ll do the countdown of BEST moments of the year in another post.  This is more an evaluation of life-areas:

working at Cat's MeowWork was, in general, a negative and stressful experience.  And yet I apparently don’t dislike it enough to really turn my life upside-down and find a new one.  Because it IS possible to get a new job.  Which I suppose, gives me very little room to complain.  The mantra regarding work–just bide my time until I can move out of Spokane, and into a real career.  Also, think long-term–don’t let them use me up.  Cost-benefit analysis.

Love.  Cool and I had more ups then downs this year.  There are many changes I want her to make, but all-said we still share love.  More on this in goals.

School.  Overall, I enjoyed my classes.  The paperwork, the loan debacles, the staff, the professors? THE shirt posterior Not so much.  Again, these things just come with the territory, plus they are not pervasive enough to make me want to leave all-together.  And it’s pretty much the story for any college, so they is no escaping anyway.  I DO love to learn, and especially like the opportunity to do things the right way–like I wish I could have done in Missouri.  It feels like a second chance, and feels good to build a viable future.

IMG_20110716_184322Money is tough.  Obviously, it’s difficult to pay bills, save, and still feel like a person.  2012 was not a great year for moderating restaurant eating.  I think this is because coming home to an empty house, while tired, just made eating out the easiest choice.  This next year I’m going to make sure Grocery Outlet trip occur every other week–but I guess that’s more of a goal then an assessment.  My finances need a little more discipline then I had in 2013 is the big story.

Family was probably not the greatest in 2012.  My parents (Mom) and I had a “thing.”  And we didn’t talk on the phone for months.  I cancelled my Montana plans because the extended family acted like $hit-heads toward me.  My mother-in-law is toxic.  Things to be learned here–if you can’t cut out the toxic, One:  Minimize the time spent with (or thinking about) them.  Two:  Just let go.  This is not to say, don’t hold them responsible for their actions, but don’t dwell either.  Just know they are crazy/selfish and write it off.  No need to be preoccupied by this crap like I was in 2012.

Exercise.  2012 was one of my best years since high school for physical fitness.  We belonged to the YMCA–and actually went often.  Then, we actually ran at the all-weather track frequently.  I really liked the fitness, and what it did for my body.  EXCEPT, as soon as the weather turned, I became sedentary again.  And now feel bad, unhealthy, and guilty.  So this needs work in the cold.  A cold weather plan can fix this one.

Food per the usual was bad, bad, bad.  Cookie dough for breakfast?  Yes, please!  I already feel fell, my cat cookiebut there’s more pie–I’ll take it.  Produce?  What is that???  I don’t mind a diet, and I do not limit myself in any way.  Luckily, I am naturally thin, but I can’t say I’m all that healthy.  So without going crazy over it, I’m just going to try to limit sugar, eat decent portions (at meal times).  Which also is more a goal then a reflection.

August 2011 105Drinking.  My numbers here are still too high.  I deliberate publishing them, because I don’t want this to become anybody’s ammunition.  But I want to hold myself accountable.  So maybe I can post a number that I know, but the reference would be too obscure for someone else to interpret.  196 too many.  This number is wrong and I know it. This year is the year I change it. I just have to DO it. That’s all there is to it.