Archive | March, 2013

In March–I Fell Apart

31 Mar

college what i really doI feel very disappointed in myself about my resolutions this last month.  I let them fall by the wayside for the most part.

I wasted money at restaurants.  I didn’t shop at the Grocery Outlet every other week.  I went to Starbucks.  All bad, bad, bad and money-sucking vortex.

I drank a few times throughout the month and it wasn’t crazy or excessive, but it was a let-down to myself none-the-less.  It just wasn’t as fun or rewarding as I had remembered and I was instantly regretful each time.

I didn’t really exercise any more then my daily routine required.  So I’m looking into a CraigsList treadmill.  Then, I can exercise in my jammies if I want to.  I could run WHILE studying.  Or while watching a show.  It will be a lot easier and non-weather dependent.

I DID go to the dentist, which I am very relieved about–no cavities!  It didn’t impoverish me either.  Overall good experience.

Why is it, my audience, that when I speak of massage I feel awkward?  As if YOU think it’s a Leslie Knopeeuphemism for adult-activity.  So let me clarify–when I say massage–I mean an actual rub.  Boundaries intact.  Anyway, it happened once (so far) in March.  Not good.

No reason that I can’t turn things around in April.  It’s a new month tomorrow!

School is like the Mile

26 Mar

You remember the time-achieving lap-by-lap mile strategy?

I need a more recent pic of myself running!

I need a more recent pic of myself running!

If not a quick refresher:  Lap 1 should be the fastest.  Your body is fresh and you are motivated.  You have to get out ahead to make up for later slowness.  Lap 2 need to be equal with the equal split-time of the ideal mile.  If you want to run the mile in say 12 min., each lap needs to be 3 min.  If you want to run it in 4 min, each lap needs to be 1 min.  Lap 2 is about hitting the split.  Lap 3 is the most difficult.  This is when the body tires, fatigue kicks in big time, your mind wants to quit.  This is the lap you need to push through and conjure mental focus.  It will be your slowest split.  Lap 4 you just need to kick, kick, kick.  Remember why you started running in the first place, and make this time count.  If you give in to your body and mind, there was no point in even starting this mile in the first place.  Sprint to the finish and finish hard!

Walking about-July 2012 038

School is much the same.  Except double the mental aspects and cut out the physical.  I start the semester fresh, overachieving  and really jumping out of the blocks.  I have read ahead, made flash cards, and fixed my schedule to maximize my time.  Then, the initial excitement wears off, the schedule becomes a familiar routine, and I chug along in my normal study activities.  Right before, during, and after Thanksgiving or Spring break, I am tired.  I’m done.  I feel overwhelmed.  I want to be doing fun things of my choosing instead of sleep, work, study, work, test, sleep over and over.  It’s the dreaded third lap.  But now I’m on lap 4, so it’s time to buckle down, push through pain and fatigue, and remember why I started in the first place. Finish hard to get a good grade.  And I know my mind can handle it, because I didn’t start these classes only to earn mediocre grades in them.  I have my goals and this is the time to remember them, focus on the future, and sprint.  I got this!

What Nobody Told You About BiPolar

24 Mar

-Psychiatrists don’t spend time talking to the patient.  I have seen Cool regularly come out of these appointment in 5 min-20 min at the most.

-An appointment costs $100 up to $260

-These doctors have no emergency hours, staff, or procedures.  If the patient is really bad off they are told to go to the regular emergency room.

-It’s not just a matter of getting on one medication and taking it as directed.

-There is no ONE magical pill to treat bipolar.

-It’s normal that patients are put on a cocktail of meds.

-The meds have to be taken 2-3 times a day.  Some at specific times, with certain side-effects (sleepiness) in mind, or with or without food.

-Each med has its own set of side-effects:  Weight gain, loss of appetite, nausea & vomiting, weak bladder, tiredness, lethargy, ticks, etc, etc. . .

-Cool is on 4-5 meds at any given time.

-Before she got health insurance, just ONE of those meds cost $800+!  That’s more than our entire rent.

-You can only get a one month supply at any given time, so calls and trips to the pharmacy must constantly be made.

-Many people with bipolar have an inability to plan ahead and may not have a stable mood–how can they get organized enough to arrange the medication protocol?

-The meds will suddenly stop working–old meds have to be stopped and a new med has to be started.  It’s a process largely based on trial and error.

-The really fun part?  Patients are not in touch with their moods/feelings.  This includes suicidal lows, long-term depressions, and mania.  To them, they just seem average.  It isn’t until after the fact they realize something was “off.”

 

More Inappropriate Service

21 Mar

Why does this stuff always happen to me?!

throw trash away picThe gal finally conceded that FedEx SmartPost does not actually bring the package all the way to your address.  They merely transport it to your town/city and hand it off to the USPS.  And she’s been taking a LOT of calls from confused and unhappy people about the SmartPost service.  So let her explain the procedure of SmartPost so you can stop complaining, b/c this is the wave of the future, and you’re just ignorant–not unhappy.

And no one informs you of that prior to you just not getting what you ordered, then tracking it, then making phone calls.  And no one knows which post office exactly.  And there is no way for SmartPost to follow-through at ALL.  And no they have no official channel to complain.

But the service is reduced price–and you get what you pay for.  Plus ALL the big internet companies are using it.  If you didn’t want a hassle you should have chosen a more expensive shipping method.

I called the post office and they gave me a different location based on my zip code.  This location said my package was being held because the address was wrong.  And again, no one bothered to contact me (or Amazon) saying there was any confusion.

What?  You had the exact same address on both portions of the shipment because it was part of the GarbageSAME order?  And you received the other half, with the same address on it a week ago?  Let me transfer you.

Then some guy at the warehouse gets your 20-digit tracking numer and finds your parcel right away.  And reads off your correct address. . .  Oh, you want me to send it along?  Uh, yes that would be great if I could actually receive the package I ordered.

Can’t I Just Receive a Package?!

20 Mar

True to my life’s experience I had a lot of trouble getting the package I ordered from Amazon.  I got a little-something when I ordered my Mom’s (really, super-late) birthday gift in order to get a better shipping price.  And well, because I wanted to.

The merch was split into 3 shipments:  1 to NV b/c it was for my mom, 1 came to my apt through the USPS, and the last was sent via FedEx.  My Mom’s arrived fastest.  Then, on March 8th I got the 1st of my two shipments in my mailbox.  The last–just never came.

Finally, a week after I expected it, I went to Amazon’s tracking page.  The first package was shown as delivered by USPS on March 8.  The second was shown as a FedEx SmartPost “in transit” with an expected date of delivery March 12.  It was March 19 when I looked.  Uh oh.  Trouble.

So I went to the FedEx page with the tracking number.  And it said “Delivery Exception.”  I didn’t know what that meant either.  I looked it up in their FAQ.  Apparently, this happens either when the buisiness they are trying to deliver to is closed.  I’m not a business, FYI.  It also happens if you ignore 3 notices of delivery attempts.

Except, Someone is always AT my apartment.  Because Cool works nights so is here all day.  And I’m here at night.  And to our knowledge, no one had even knocked on the door.  And we certainly didn’t have even one slip notifying us of a missed delivery attempt–let alone 3.  So I had to call FedEx.

They said they dropped the package off at my local post office since no one had been home to receive the delivery   Which post office?  They didn’t know–get out the phone book and call around, I was told.  Ummm. . .

Next up:  Why I am writing complaints to FedEx, Amazon, and the USPS.

Possible Syndrome-Project Sources

18 Mar

Congenital Hearing Loss

1)  http://journals.lww.com/ear-hearing/Abstract/2004/02000/Outcomes_of_Children_with_Mild_Profound_Congenital.1.aspx

M Wake, EK Hughes, Z Poulakis, C Collins… – … and hearing, 2004 – journals.lww.com

2)  http://www.pediatricsdigest.mobi/content/102/5/1161.short

C Yoshinaga-Itano, AL Sedey, DK Coulter… – Pediatrics, 1998 – pediatricsdigest.mobi

3)  http://www.firstconsult.com/das/journal/view/N/10799384?ja=147316&PAGE=1.html&source=MI&issn=0022-3476

A Assessment – Journal of pediatrics, 1999 – firstconsult.com

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Sensorineural Hearing Loss

Emotional Disturbance

Conductive Hearing Loss-Children

Reading Difficulties

Cochlear Implants

Schizophrenia

1)  http://www.psycontent.com/index/7W4504X126378048.pdf

R Morice, D McNicol – Schizophrenia bulletin, 1986 – Hogrefe & Huber

2)  http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/article.aspx?volume=157&page=794

R Nicolson, M Lenane… – American Journal of …, 2000 – Am Psychiatric Assoc

Otitis Media

Child Abuse/Neglect

Meniere’s Disease

Poverty

Vestibular Disease:

1)      http://adc.bmj.com/content/80/1/28.short

KE Bennett, MP Haggard – Archives of Disease in Childhood, 1999 – adc.bmj.com

Fetal Rubella

Central Auditory Processing Disorder

Cerebral Palsy

Cleft Lip/Palate

Developmental Apraxia

Vocal Nodules

Tourette’s Syndrome:

1)  http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/66/3/420.short

AN O’Quinn, RJ Thompson Jr – Pediatrics, 1980 – Am Acad Pediatrics

2)  http://ukpmc.ac.uk/abstract/MED/6959512

CL Ludlow, RJ Polinsky, ED Caine, CJ Bassich… – Advances in …, 1982 – ukpmc.ac.uk

Angelman

Down Syndrome

Central Auditory Processing Disorders

Dyslexia

Fragile X

Head Injury- Child

Aphasia- Child

Pediatric Dysphagia

1)  http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0030666505700645

JC Arvedson – Otolaryngologic Clinics of North America, 1998 – Elsevier

2)  http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ddrr.17/abstract

JC Arvedson – Developmental disabilities research reviews, 2008 – Wiley Online Library

Encephalitis

Williams Syndrome

Landau-Kleffner

Prader-Willi

Rett’s

Selective Mutism

1)  http://www.lldsig.com/USERIMAGES/Selective%20Mutism%20A.pdf

P SARA, M DONNA SCHEIE… – J. Am. Acad. Child Adolesc. …, 1995 – lldsig.com

2)  http://heldref-publications.metapress.com/index/13755606710g70g8.pdf

VL Krysanski – The Journal of Psychology: Interdisciplinary and …, 2003 – Heldref Publications

3)  http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/da.10125/abstract

K Manassis, D Fung, R Tannock, L Sloman… – Depression and …, 2003 – Wiley Online Library

Apert

Beckwith-Wiedemann

CHARGE

Cri-du-Chat

Crouzon

Goldenhar

Klinefelter

Moebius

Mucopolysacchairdoses

Noonan

Pierre Robin

Stickler

Sturge-Weber

Treacher Collins

Usher

Waardenburg

Velocardiofacial syndromes

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome:

1)  http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/68/4/475.short

S Iosub, M Fuchs, N Bingol, DS Gromisch – Pediatrics, 1981 – Am Acad Pediatrics
2)  http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/002199249090016R
M Becker, GA Warr-Leeper, HA Leeper – Journal of Communication …, 1990 – Elsevier

Too Young to Die

17 Mar

Apparently cheerleading gave me a lot of negative feelings. I regularly have nightmares involving HeatherLaurel's pics 844, ring leader of the bitchy girls, also my other former catty teammates, and my mom who tried to instill rules and truly coach it as a sport.

If I were suspicious I would say it’s Heather’s way of haunting me from the grave and getting the last word in.  As a practical person, I guess it’s just unresolved issues.  But how to resolve them when the person involved is no longer with us?

Also, speaking of high school and people no longer with us–I found out this week that my prom date died.  I met him through Mary (you remember her, no doubt), my first boss.  She set me up to go to MY prom with her nephew who lived in the Reno area.  But he asked me to his prom, called me, and we went on several movie Laurel's pics 616and food dates that year.

Both proms were fun, but then I never heard from him again.  Just suddenly too, so I never knew what happened.  But I had a lot of other things going on (realizing I was gay, for one) so I didn’t think about him too much.

So the Minor family gossip told my mom who told me the news.  Which wasn’t detailed at all.  Drugs.  Don’t know exactly how.  Didn’t find out where.  It made me sad.  It seems so avoidable, and he was too young to go.  What a waste.  Drugs are horrible.  It also made me insanely curious–nobody knows what occurred -how does that happen?  I hope to hear of more details just to feel a little more settled about it.

Theodore-George-Minor__mug shot 1-26-13Teddy’s dad said he doesn’t care.  Which is definitely the Minor family way of dealing with things–acting hard-hearted and going into denial   It’s frustrating, because of COURSE a father cares if his son dies.  Even if they didn’t have a good relationship in life.  Even if the son is on drugs or acting like a monster.  Especially when the only other sibling died at 17 years old.

It was a strange thing to find out.  And both deaths of people I sort of knew at one point (at least saw frequently) made me feel bad.  I can’t call myself close to either Heather (I DIDN’T like when she was alive) or Teddy (who I guess ditched me) but they are still young lives lost.  And I wonder what goes on in the region, because that isn’t the first or even the second person I’ve known in Northern Nevada to die too young. . .

Called Out

12 Mar

File under: Oversensitive? Maybe. Within My Rights as a Student? Def.

bee 2

The scene: 100+ students sitting in the auditorium facing the stage waiting for class to commence. The instructor and 2 apparent guest speakers or people with announcements are on the stage. Quiet falls over the room, and the Prof soups up the power-point where our notes will be. All students are looking ahead to see where class will take us today.

Then my name (and mine alone) appears on the first slide. For ALL to see. And my Prof says, “If your name is on the screen please come to the front.” Everyone in class wonders what is going on and looks for the (one) person to stand up. . .

Well, I did not get on the stage for all to see. And I did not think the episode was appropriate–college or not. Turns out, the Overall website for the course, Canvas, (comperable to Web-CT, Blackboard, Angel, *insert fad college interface here*) didn’t recognize my e-mail. And the Prof thought I wasn’t enrolled in Canvas. Which I have been–in both my classes for the record. He had already chastised me and 3 others to change our default e-mail to the school address (which I did). Then, he sent a halting response to an unrelated e-mail question, barking that Canvas was a course requirement. But I AM on Canvas. And I changed the stupid e-mail even though I never check my school account. So I think he has a mind to shame me in front of the class about it.

I went up AFTER class, and another gal came up and said her grades weren’t getting posted on Canvas either. So turns out the mistake was HIS after all.

Anyway, I certainly did call HIM out on his unethical treatment towards me and told him he embarrassed me by writing my name only on the power-point and trying to call my on stage alone, in front of the entire class. And Cool thought I shouldn’t, but it really did bother me. Because that shouldn’t happen. . .

Spring Sched

11 Mar

File under:  Old news, lost draft.

Monday

-wake up by 4:30 AM

-go to work earlysupersprayer eclipse

-go to class 1-2:15

-work (9.5 hr day)

-try to get in Wii

-floss

-go to bed early

Tuesday

-study prior to class

-do Wii/circuits

-class 10-11:15 AM

-walk (w/Cool) & study flashcards

-cook lunchBLAT mimosa and BBB waffle

-study

-floss

Wednesday

-study prior to class

-do Wii/circuits

-study

-walk (w/Cool) & study flashcards

-eat lunch

-attend class from 1-2:15 PM

-floss

Thursday

-study prior to class

-do Wii/circuits

-class 10-11:15 AM

-eat lunch

-change clothesFiona Apple-Criminal

-work by 12:15PM (try to get 6 hr)

-floss

-go to bed early

Friday

-wake up by 4:30 AM

-go to work early (9 hr)

-study flashcards at lunch

-floss

-go to bed early

Saturday

-study

-go to work a little early to clean (try to get 5 hr for 29.5 hr/wk)cinderella cleaning

-Wii/circuits/walk/hike/run (free day)

-clean apt

-cook ahead for week

-pack a portable lunch for Monday

+/- massage

-get out clothes for next week

Sunday

-study

-every other week go to Grocery Outlet

-Wii/circuits

-study

-paintdinosaur fantasy

-study

-cook

Worst Feeling

10 Mar

At least in the top for one of the worst feelings ever:  Getting an exam back with a horrible grade on it. It’s embarrassing and disappointing.  And it makes me really worried.

That pretty much sums up my Speech & Hearing Sciences class today.  And I just need to work that much harder.  Now I have only 2 points to miss to keep an A+ in the course = pressure!

The professor sucks and I’m not sure I could have studied any harder or differently to improve my score.  I guess I could have looked online for pics.  And that’s what I’ll have to do.  Cause this feels just awful.  9.5 out of 12 (in terms of percentage points) sucks.

Believe me, I sat there scrutinizing those red checks marks smeared all over the paper just looking for something I could argue about.  I hoped there was some poorly written question or gray area or miscalculation. . .  But there just wasn’t.  The things I got wrong–were just.  Wrong.  No arguing about it–no one to blame but me.  And that’s the worst!

I looked at that spectrogram projected on the board, and freaked out.  I had studied single spectrograms–not words.  I had tried to memorize numbers of singular phonetic characteristics–not the subtleties of co-articulated words.  And I let it throw me off.  I panaked.  I hastiliy changed correct answers to incorrect.  I marked the right answer next to a question, then picked the wrong letter choice.  I ran out of time.  I made all the test-anxiety mistakes that I know not to do.

What I should have done was carefully finished the written potion and checked my answers for the items I had studied.  Then, I should have closed my eyes, taken a deep breath and looked at the unfamiliar for just a minute.  I think I would have become calmer and more oriented had I done THAT instead of freaking out.  Then, I should have just marked answers and stuck with them.  I probably still would have missed some, but not the ones I really did know.  And I wouldn’t have made the couple of really stupid mistakes that I did.  I KNOW what techniques I need to use during a test–I just need to take the time to practice those.

I promise me that I will devote more undivided time to (both) my classes, especially this one.  I will start earlier, do more frequent small study sessions, look up unclear and additional info on the internet, and practice under timed conditions.  Because I never want to have to fight to get into a program again, and I don’t have time to change career paths anymore.  *This* counts.  And no amount of horrible, boring, tedious studying is worse than seeing a 75% test grade drop my overall grade half a letter.