Same Chance as Everybody Else

2 Apr

That’s what every student should have for a test.

In Speech Sciences, we were to have a “quiz” covering 5 chapters today.  The chapters were ALL the diseases in each system that impact speech.  So characteristics, assessments, and treatments had to be memorized.  The quiz also covered the long, long, long and complex theories and models of speech production (5 models, 2 theories, 5 problems) and speech perception (9 models and 6 problems) and everything that impacts those.  So that’s 27 complex issues to memorize and understand.  And the hearing chapter.

Trachea, EsophagusI studied my little heart out.  Starting during spring break.  I read and outlined all the chapters, made flash cards, drew pictures and numonics.  Looked at them every single day, including Forster-Friday when I had to go to work early, have short lunch, and clean after work.  I worked very hard to know all the information.  I need to get 62 points out of the 64 points left in the course to keep my A+.  And that’s what I will do, or otherwise this is time and money wasted.  I NEED the GPA this time.

We always have 30 minutes to complete these “quizzes.”  But this time the prof said we were going to take it at the beginning of class rather then the end.  So I knew there would be a time-crunch for me.  These are multiple choice, and seeing all the answers confuses me, so I have to cover the answers, formulate MY response, then read through the answers to see which one best matches my answers.  Then, I double check everything and make sure I completed all parts of every question and didn’t skip anything or make any dumb errors.  So I use the all of the time.

Knowing this, I moved from my preferred seat by the door, to the very front row so I could be among the first to receive the test.  Because he starts timing from when HE hands the papers out, not from the time the last person gets the test.  Doing this, meant I had to risk Suzanne [who I despise and is stupid and talkative and annoys me and messes me up] sitting next to me.  And of course she did.

wild dog purpleHalfway through today’s test, the prof told the class they could quietly walk around the room and look at the group presentation instructions he had just taped to walls around the room.  Umm, what?!  I’M still testing.  Within the allotted time limit.  So of course now people that finished early (the majority of the class) are walking around.  Then, they are making me move my legs in order to get by me.  And they are clunking up the stairs right in front of me.  Then, groups are talking.  I was trying to concentrate, but it was nearly impossible.

And I tried to shoot the prof looks like, Are you KIDDING me?!  Or–hey, tell them to be quiet.  But he did not look in my direction.  Until I scrawled on the top of my test “Test environment was very disruptive.”  Then, when I was ready to turn in my paper, he sat on the stairs right in front of me, looking apologetic, and said “How was it?”  And I answered honestly that it wasn’t good.  And he wasstate-fair-falconry-1180523-blog like, “I know, I understand and feel the same way you do.”  This–inside me head–What the fuck buddy, what do you mean you feel the same way?  YOU are the one who controls what goes on inside this class.  And out loud, “It was a very unacceptable way to take a test.”  He said, “I know, and we’ll look it it and maybe make accommodations, you are one of the more conscientious students.”  Which I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like cheating to me, and if he would have just conducted the test fairly, it’s totally unnecessary.  And I must have looked sad and frustrated (I was both) because he said, “Don’t worry, we’ll look at it.”

This is my life.  How is it that no matter how much preparation  no matter how much studying, or planning, or changing my own behavior and factors under my control, I can’t win.

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