Tight–but not in a good way.

19 Oct

Horrible, horrible, embarrassing moment of today:

After work, I walked to the coffee shop across the street to study while Cool interneted.  I drank coffee and studied, not paying attention to anyone else inside the place.  After an hour and a half, Cool and I were good and caffeinated and sort of chatting–as we do–still not paying attention to other people.

Cool brought up Northface and I said how I would like to buy one of everything in the store when I’m all rich.  Then, because I have a vandeta against black yoga pants–and spendex in general, I clarified my initial statement and said, “Except black yoga pants.”

black yoga pants 2

I’m not sure why black yoga pants are such a hot trend, and I constantly see gals of all shapes, sizes, and ages wearing them whereever they are.  I posted pics on here of relatively thin people wearing them–that are made to look fat/bulgy in places–just to illustrate that no one looks good.  Believe me, there were a lot of terrible pics of less fit people too–but you can imagine.

You either have a VPL (visible panty line) or let me ask this–you can’t wear underwear, right?  Because even thong lines would show.  And I see some people wearing black yoga pants EVERY day.  Please tell me they have multiple pairs and are not wearing the same pants, sans underwear, day in and day black yoga pants 3out.  *shudder*  And they are not breathable (another problem for hygiene) and don’t TELL me something that tight is comfortable. . .  Anyway, it’s an awful, unflattering look.  And of course when we got on the topic inside the coffee shop I said so.  And out of the corner of my eye, I saw an employee come and begin emptying the trash (which was immediately next to our table).  But still, I didn’t look at them at all–I couldn’t have told you if they were male or female–let alone what they were wearing.

Do you see where this is headed?  So I’m going on and on to Cool about how the ONLY people that look good in unflattering spandex are super-models and ballerinas, before walking across the room to hand in our dirty plate.  Once I was all the way across the room, headed back to our seat I noticed that the employee emptying the trash. . .  Was a chubby gal–wearing blue spandex pants.

I felt awful!  She was red-in-the-face.  I was mortified, because our comments must have seemed so pointed to her–because we didn’t shut up even when she came in proximity.  So I’m sure the poor girl thought that not only we were talking about her, but we didn’t stop because we wanted her to hear.  Not how either of us roll, but the yoga pants 1damage was done.

I just wanted to leave immediately, tail between my legs, but Cool’s laptop took forever to shut down and we had to stand there, while the gal had to come baaaack to our area with a trash bag.  It was horrible, mean, and awkward, and I need to learn to shut my fat mouth–in public.

So I hope that gal doesn’t go home and cry herself to sleep on our account.  We hadn’t even seen her, and didn’t intentionally target her or anything.  And I don’t want to make anyone (especially women who already have so much beauty-industry pressure placed upon them) feel bad about themself.  It was really $hitty. . .

But I do still stand by my loathing of spandex.  In the niceest way–ladies, spandex doesn’t look good on anyone.  Your weight and shape don’t really factor into the equation–so unless you are a Victoria’s Secret Angel (average Victoria's Secret Angels Visit SoulCycleage = 21 years; average height = 5’10”; average weight = 110 lb; putting their BMI at an appallingly under-weight 15.8–women that tall should weigh a mininmum of 130 lb) you shouldn’t wear them.  I myself am petite (which made today’s incident seem even worse) but I would look icky and chubby in spandex pants.  They would make my thieghs look huge!  The pants aren’t designed for real women.

Coffee shop employee, I apologize if I hurt your feelings–it was not intentional, and I will keep my dumb mouth shut in public about such matters–you didn’t look any worse than anyone else who wears those.  But again–people, just don’t wear those things–they are ugly and make everyone look fat/unfit/odd-shaped.

 

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3 Responses to “Tight–but not in a good way.”

  1. Jez November 1, 2016 at 3:30 AM #

    Heterosexual male perspective:

    They’re AMAZING.

    • kit10phish November 1, 2016 at 1:23 PM #

      Love the sarcasm *MORE sarcasm* Haters gonna hate. But I consider myself a feminist–with eyes. Spandex is just not flattering, and I blame a patriarchal society for making, selling, and main-streaming them in the first place. To keep women down by making them fixate on getting those tight pants to fit. Also, in the post I indicate how overwhelmingly sorry we were she heard–our opinions were not directed at the garbage gal in any way–just our general opinion on the matter. And it still stands.

  2. Human Relationships March 9, 2014 at 5:34 PM #

    Reblogged this on Human Relationships.

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