Archive | 12:03 PM

I’ve Vomited 7 Times. . . In. My. Life.

12 Nov

-Prior to 1994 (under 11 years old).  Twice (that I can remember) when I was elementary-aged.  Maybe I just have a terrible memory.  But I don’t think I’ve thrown up very many times, even if this isn’t the full list–which I’m pretty sure it is.


**Once I had the flu and remember feeling so sick I wouldn’t eat–which even then was very unlike me.  My mom, tried to tempt me by making a mint chocolate chip (my favorite!) milkshake.  And I couldn’t even take one sip.  Then, the next day I felt better, but someone had already drank it or poured it out 😦

**The other time I vomited chili.  And that put me off chili for a very long time.


**After some cat bite in 2001 I took my first antibiotics and realized they make me vomit.  Yes, I took them on a full stomach.  Now, I either don’t take them at all, or request another belly-settler to combine.

-Three alcohol-related incidents:

**When I was 20 (2003) and couldn’t buy my own so I had to get it where I could.  Douche dragged me out to some Missoura bar out in the boonies, and only got Killians pitchers.  So if I wanted anything it was that.  I got so trashed I put my head on the bar, and the live band called me out over it.  Then, I couldn’t walk out of the place by myself.  Later, I thanked Douche for her douchy-ways. . .  By puking on her bed, then hovering over it, drunk and ill.

**And on my 21st birthday, 2004, Douche invited over HER friends (I didn’t have any in my new state yet) and they goaded me into trying to down 21 shots (I only made it to 15, and it was some sort of orange-flavored vodka).  I also think some mixed drinks were involved, though I blacked out pretty early on.  After playing “crack-the-egg” on the trampoline at my expense, she helped me vomit.  Lucky, because I certainly would have had alcohol poisoning.  Thirdly,

**At Murry’s in 2006, Sarah and I had wine with dinner and stopped drinking right at our limit.  But then, a co-worker came in with her husband unexpectantly, and he offered to buy a really nice bottle of wine for the table.  Who were we to say no to free (good) wine?  We helped consume 2 of those (amongst 4 people).  I could not lift my head the next day, my headache was so terrible.  I also made the mistake of thinking if I just barfed I would feel better–not realizing that vomiting the next day, meant vomiting purple every half hour or so.

-In 2004, I accidently drank expired “non-dairy” products.  I opened a TGI-Friday Mudslide mix that I got in the non-refrigerator section) during Thanksgiving break.  Then, school and work dominated my time and I put the rest on the wine rack.  At the end of winter break, I drank a half a cup of the mix, and vomited all the next day until my tongue turned black, I had to call in sick to work (twice because it was a Sunday), and I ended up in the ER for an IV and anti-neusea injection.  On my “perscription” the D-Bag, funny doctor wrote “stay away from unrefrigerated dairy.”  Apparently, non-dairy and buying in the unrefrigerated section means major GI problems. . .