Archive | December, 2013

2013 Recap: Best Moments

31 Dec

I don’t want to make my followers crazy by publishing a super-overabundance of posts all the time.  So I had to choose today’s post carefully.  I decided on this all-important last day of the year, I would pick my top moments of 2013 to talk about.  I have so many looking back and looking forward type posts in que through.  I wrote my 2013 resolution results post, but it became very long, so I sperated it into the various sections.  Which made 5(?) posts.  And then, of course I have 2014 Resolutions.  And the music I listened to most in 2013.  But then I have the new 2013 album releases post.  And I want to make a big post about strategies of how I plan to go about accomplishing my 2014 goals.  Maybe I will make a New Year kind of post every day of the month in January.  Because that’s the way it’s looking.  I like it–I hope I doesn’t make you guys irate.  Anyway, without further adou, the very favorite of my moments in 2013, from 10th most important to super-best-time-ever-of-the-year!

10.  Keeping my 4.0 GPA in school.  Very important to me.  And not all that easy to do, so it garners a spot on the big list.  I only hope it will also be here next year too. . . pinna art

9.  Spa weekend & camping in the living room.  Grocery Outlet beauty/grooming items, massage, foot soaks, spa treatments, and healthful cooking.  Home spas are a heck of a lot less awkward with your mate and more affordable at home.  And camping included, sleeping on the air mattress in the living room, eating microwave s’mores, and watching “The Great Outdoors.”  A good time was had!  I had wanted to have theme weekends all summer, with varying items.  We made it to two before running out of ideas, then motivation.  But these 2 were so fun!  We saved money by staying home as well, which I always like.  I will try to start brainstorming now so we can have more this next summer.  I just thought of music.  And a crafty weekend.  There’s the first month for us. Summer Begins 2013 060

8.  Walla Walla big 30th Birthday.  I was really looking forward to this milestone birthday.  This one is probably due to the great anticipation and the weight I placed on this age.  It’s a big deal to me.  And I always love Walla Walla for the wine country and quaint small town feel–as well as the beautiful Palouse views.  The only reason this items fell relatively low on the list is Cool was mixed state, manic, or cycling (who can tell?) at the time and had no money and she acted like a jerkelsteilskin frequently because of the bipolar.  But I looked good, wasn’t at work, and got a true wine tour–so it was still pretty fun. Walla Walla 30th 022

7.  Seeing a moose up close.  Terribly exciting!  It came right in the yard while I was house-sitting for my boss.  And it ranks only 7th, because when it happened, I was worried the aggressing dog was about to DIE.  And on account of that I did not get a (good) picture. moose 1moose 6

6.  Green Bluff.  I think Peach-Fest was my favorite this year, though we got to go relatively frequently.  I like everything about Green Bluff.  The farm feel, picking/eating my own food, taking pictures, and supporting non-Monsanto produce.  It’s my favorite thing about Washington State (even beating the Fremont neighborhood, I think?!), and always a new adventure when we go.  Oh, wait–it couldn’t possibly beat Pike Place Market for WA fave, or adventure, but it’s the best thing Eastern, and a close second (because the Gorge isn’t as cheap or accessable = #3). Green Bluff 2 018

5.  Parasailing in CdL.  Wow!  We sort of did this one on a whim.  And it wasn’t what I expected at all.  No adrenaline was involved, just peace.  I got great pics, and had a really fun time with Cool.  It was really relaxing–until the dip at least!  I would do this one again any time, and I’ll never forget it.

tree and wake


4.  Labor Dave weekend, including the concert, tail-gating prior to entry, exploring mid-WA during the first half Selfie Columbia Riverof the day, hiking down to the Columbia River, camping near Feathers, and playing theampitheatre 4 setlist game with Cool.  The whole thing was fun, and I really like that it wasn’t just about drinking, or even music.  We spent a large majority of the day just appreciating the nature of mid-Washington.  Everyone was in a good (and stable) mood and that’s the best.  I love this concert and the time spent with Cool so much.  It’s totally OUR thing.  But next year–SEATS.  There will be no more GA at Dave for us.


3.  Clogging at my school’s Talent Show.  Who knew I missed dancing so much?  The thing that made this so great was the fact it was all mine.  I picked the song.  I wrote the dance.  And I rocked the performance.  I felt really great about the whole thing, and am excited to choreograph my next dances when time allows.  Winter break is for getting ahead with textbook reading, scholarship and application tasks, taxes/FAFSA, shopping for a semester, and winter cleaning/organizing.  See what I mean?  Four and a half weeks SOUNDS long, but there’s not enough time.  But when I do, I will be sure to do some more clogging dances.

2.  Bringing Goose home.  Not the actual hotel stay though.  Being sleep-deprived is never my favorite–though Fall finals 118Boise--May 2013 018seeing Boise with my parents and Cool was extra fun (even tired).  So finally!  I get to have all my buddies in the same state.  I missed him very much, and worried.  Also, this little item improved my relationship with my parents exponentially.  I am enjoying having happiness and closeness with them again–I missed that too.  And Goose is beautiful inside and out.  He’s home ❤

1.  Hands down–getting Forster-Fridays “off” of work.  I just can’t convey what a relief this is to me.  So much weight/stress/anxiety was lifted from me when this happened.  I feel so much more uplifted, positive, and hopeful!  Even though I didn’t believe it would actually happen or stick, and even though the social fall out was. . .  Special.  I love being away from that horrid day (most of it–I’m still there for 3-4 hours) even at the cost of having ALL early mornings, daily tiredness, and being locked in this city.  Still, totally worth it.  This is the item that really enables me to quit drinking.  I love my new schedule more then anyone could know.  I would write/say a big thank you to my boss if it wasn’t poking the bear, or jinxing it. It was sort of a chilled out year, but still good.

DMB Gorge 2008

I think I learned that you don’t have to spend a lot of money or take a lot of time away from work to have excellent moments.  I think 2014 will continue along that train of thought:  I have to work all day on my birthday, and Walla Walla is out of the question.  But maybe my parents will follow-though on visiting us, and that’s always a good time.  There will be the big, super-special yearly event of Labor Dave Weekend (with seats!), plenty of Green Bluff, and maybe a trip to The German (if we’re lucky), but other then that, we’ll make our own good times.  Even if it means being HERE for another year.


Via WordPress: 2013 in review

31 Dec

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,400 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Transformation Begins to Sound Redundant (last official installment)

30 Dec

I really like the New Year’s season.  I enjoy reflecting and improving–hence all the starry-eyed, introspective blog posts.  There’s just 2 transformative posts left, but one was what are my goals.  I have my last year’s accountability posts, and next year’s new goals.  So those will be another series all their own.  

The aspirations all start to blend together.  And that’s boring for you, but practical for me.  You shouldn’t have TOO much change to contend with or you set yourself up for failure.  Anyway, so here’s the last official post of the Transformation Series:

Day 5: How do my goals and priorities need to change?

The social needs to be elevated a little.  If for no other reason, then my own mental health.  Following through with the thinking of others, volunteering, will make me feel like I contribute something substancial.  Adjusting my attitude and actions in small ways, which will help me FEEL better.  Living with gratitude ought to help the social along.  Physical needs to be less talk/dreams and more action.  And I can do that with a series of SMALL actions, so as not to overwhelm myself.  I need to maintain the mental.  Discipline.

I hope “Transformation” made you think.  Maybe inspired someone.  At least, it inspired me to be a better person.

Transformation: A Drop in the Bucket

29 Dec

How have my thoughts, words and actions contributed to the world?

solar systemNot as much as I would like.  I feel that as a part-time student, part-time employee, my time is stretched thin, and I’m not quite a giver to society.  Just selfishly trying to get by and survive.

I want to do more.  split planets

I would like to actually volunteer.  Which entails, getting a project, finding the time, then doing the legwork, and supersprayer celestial bodiesfinally showing up consistantly.

red saturnI am working toward a career where my efforts MATTER.

So, it’s a small post, but maybe the biggest requirements of any of them.  In 2014, I want to be a giving person and help others.


Transformation Proclamation: Behaviors

28 Dec

How do my actions need to change?

I’m a big beliver in the triangle:  Mental, physical, and social.  Most people have a strong side and a weak side.  I don’t feel like I excel in any particular area, but my short side is certainly social.  I’ve never been very great with people-skills.

Facial vein


I need to remain driven in school.  Keep up (and ahead) on reading.  Review notes immediately after class, and make & study flashcards.  No change, but it was difficult to establish those habits, so I mention them because I fear letting them slip.  I talked about my real mental issues in yesterday’s ME post.  I need to worry less.  I need to control my stress, by letting go of control.  Work is always going to suck.  Cool will be Cool.  Spokompton and I will never quite see eye to eye.  Things won’t always ever be in their proper place.  I need to become more OK with that.  Stress and anxiety is making me too fatigued.  It’s counterproductive, and I need to stop the cycle.

Laurel's pics 057


I have to buckle down and make the hard changes.  Once, I start, maintaining will be easier.  And fixing this, just may help the anxiety, stress, and fatigue that plagues me.

-Try out treadmilling in the morning to see how I like it.  Give it an earnist effort for a length of time.

-Really add produce to every meal.  Now that I’m not buying alcohol, I can afford it.

-Combine studying with walking.

-Just do 10 minutes.  Anyone, even I, can find 10 min in a day to devote to some sort of exercise.

Sierra Exif JPEG


I don’t want this to matter to my goals, because this really falls last in my priorities.  And it’s my worst.  Social has never been my strong suit, but neglecting it makes my life harder–if not just because other people become awful toward me.  At work, especially, I have pulled back from those people.  They have introduced much stress in my life, routinely make me feel bad, unwanted, and inexperienced, and generally make me oscillate between frustrated and hopeless.  As such, I don’t leave myself vulnerable to them.  I have pretty much shut-off at work.  But that makes it worse for me too, because then they perceive ME as bitchy, cold, and hostile.  So by trying to protect myself, I actually bring resentment and aggression toward me.  It’s a conundrum.  One I don’t know if I even want to fix.  It’s a lot of work.  Maybe I’ll visualize a better way to get through the work day, then just trying to go there and accomplish my job.  Maybe I’ll just bide my time.  We’ll see.  But that’s the thing.  I WISH work could see that I am an ethical, caring, fun, responsible, funny, smart, motivated, loyal, compassionate, sensitive, thoughtful person.  Instead, they see me as amount of hours worked, number of tasks I relieve them of (never enough), and a moody-nusence–I feel very undervalued at my job.

A little bit of a bleak way to end it.  Except I guess that just shows me how important this transformation of myself is to my future.  I am not happy HERE, but that will just help me move on.  And up.  And this provides a good practice area for the real deal.

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Transformation: Part 3 All About ME

27 Dec

Day 5: How have a treated myself? That is, my body, mind & spirit.

It’s a funny thing.  My feelings and my actions are a little out of alignment, I suppose.  I love myself.  I probably like myself too much.  Though I can be hard on myself, often I’m not hard enough.  But when asked specifically about my body, mind, and spirit–I don’t really have great answers.  That’s a problem, and I would like to begin addressing it more.

Spiritrainbow 3 (2)

I think my spirit is one of the best things about me.  In a churchy way, my bond with God is unwavering.  In a more genral sense, I feel I am introspective and in touch with me.  I often look inward trying to understand, and always aim to improve things.  And my sense of festivity is always strong.  I love getting into things and do it with whole-heart.  Which makes everything better.  When I get into something, I’m ALL in.


I feed my mind.  Lack of learning isn’t really a problem.  I learn formally in school, encounter practical skills constantly at work, stimulate my mind by reading, and even watch things (documentaries) that engage my mind.  The real trouble is stress/worry/anxiety/determination/discipline.  In those areas, I am unsympathetic thesaruswith myself, and relentlessly persist in berating myself.  It’s a hard habit to break.  But I know I need to.  It doesn’t work out well for me, or for those around me.  And instead of being productive, this renders me. . .  A mess.

What I would like to do, is keep the discipline that leads to work ethic and accomplishment, but release myself from such strict rules that it makes me crazy.  I plan to try a new worry/plan/stress tactic.  Instead of indulging in it all day and all night–I will allow myself exactly 30 min a day.  In that 30 minutes, I can worry, stress out, plan ahead, dwell on things, and formulate plans.  Outside of that–I may not think along those lines.  I tried it yesterday regarding work–it went very well.  I slept better, got up more cheery, and was easier to get along with AT work.  Maybe this is my solution.


Somehow, I don’t treat my physical self very well.  I eat garbage–and too much of it.  Am sedentary.  I overindulge.  Mostly, I’m lazy about grooming.  I rarely fix up my hair or makeup and just about never wear my contacts anymore.  Some would say these behaviors are telling about my inner feelings–the way you treat yourself reflects how you FEEL about yourself.  But I feel OK.  So I want to really step it up in this area and concentrate on my physical self a little.  Not in a superficial beauty/diet industry way, but in a genuine I care richard simmonsabout my overall health way.  Because I do.

It’s so, so, so hard.  But like everything, break an overwhelming task into smaller, more managable steps.  I can wear my contacts at least once a week.  Drink 4 glasses of water before 7:30AM.  Add in produce to my diet, because it’s easier then trying to SUBTRACT things.  And do exercise in my living room while I study or while I de-stress by watching TV.   I don’t have to change everything, just add some good behaviors in.

I think that’s all for today’s transformation.  See you tomorrow!


Transformation Count Down: Day 6–Priorities

26 Dec

Day 1: What is most important to me in life? That is, what are my highest priorities?  Have my actions been in alignment with my highest priorities?

I’m always thinking about this one.  And this morning I was productive toward my biggest goals.  I worked on my CV, and I think it’s as far as I can take it with outside help.  When school resumes, I’ll make an appointment to take it to the writing center to get tips and editing.  I also, worked on my six scholarship essays, which I’m happy about the effort put fourth, not necessarily the product.  This weekend I’ll see if my mom will listen to them and help me polish them up a bit–then I’ll just turn in what I have.  They don’t have to be perfect, and my heart isn’t really in it, so I’ll say good is good enough.  For this blog post though, let me outline what my priorities are, and if I feel those are the proper order and if my actions are aligning with them.

And just to confirm–this isn’t a post to replace last year’s goal achievement and next year’s resolutions.  That will be a big, seperate post.  This is more generalized.

Most important to just important:

-Establishing a career and the stability that comes with that

-Settling into a place that I like

-Appreciating my family

Really, I guess that sums up what I want in life.  This year, I have been working to align my actions with my top goals.  Sometimes it works out for me and sometimes I could do a little more.

Smaller actions that get me to the big goals–and am I doing them:

-I think a big action that will help align my intentions and actual output is staying sober.  I have started it and my mind is in a good place to keep at it.  This item alone will help me by leaps and bounds in every other area, and though it isn’t easy to abstain–I feel hopeful and uplifted already.

-re-tool my schedule to make education first (Yes)

-study (Yes)

-work on funding to pay for & allow school and save for moving & grad school (needs work)

**must work on scholarships, which means must volunteer and work on career-oriented extra-curriculars

**must min. spending

**must save more for the move to CO

-do little things for people I care about (needs a lot of work)

**As the last important priority, this one often shifts to the background.  I need to be more effortful and show more gratitude as yesterday’s post reminds me.  Little things day in and day out ought to help.  Small steps like smiling more, making eye contact, saying one nice thing, and letting go of frustration will take this a long way.

So that’s the transfomative blog of the day.  Priorities and how it’s all about the little, repeated actions!

It Has All Come To This

25 Dec

Christmas.  The new pinnicle of capitalistic greed.  A day of gifts and money.  What better day to start my week Goose Moose x-mas 2013 042long transformation blog series.  New Years is a time for reflection and improvements, so in that vein here is my first item:  Gratitude.  Entitlement.

Day 7: What in my life do I have to be grateful for?  Who in my life am I grateful for? How have I treated them?  How have my thoughts, words and actions contributed to my family?

My actions come across more thankless and entitled than I feel.  INSIDE I am appreciative, notice small things, and am very glad for efforts made.  My actions do not align with these feelings.  My stubborn nature and social anxiety/aversion make my gratitude invisable most times.  Obviously, this needs to change.  Of course, it’s easier said then done.  The thought is there, and that’s the primary step.  Now, small changes in action must follow.

I am thanksful for many material items:  My computer, car, artwork, books, blankets/bedding, lava lamps, Goose Moose x-mas 2013 031movies, shoes, clothes, jewelry, kitchen items, games, all of that.  I’m also learning, it’s not about THINGS.  Money really doesn’t ensure happiness.  It’s all about perspective and nature and people and loving what you have.  Forgetting commercialism and status and envy.  That’s not the person I want to be, and I have made strides.  My work especially, seeing the status symbols, the expensive grooming, a lifestyle I will never have used to make me jealous and hopless.  Now I see it is just items and salesmanship.  I am a simple gal who wants to live simply and appreciate beauty in nature.  Sure, I could stand to have another fancy pair of boots, a waterproof ski jacket, or newer tires on Rusty–but I wouldn’t hire a cleaning person even if I was rich.  Now, I’m into looking inward and to nature.

Kitties–which aren’t quite people, but not material either.  They bring me mych happiness.  The clinic cats are Beezer Antisocialstrong in my mind today, and I feel guilt that they are at work alone.  Maybe we’ll take them presents.  My jammies are urging strongly that I stay though.  At any rate, I love Goose who constantly makes me laugh and shake my head and who is so sweet inside and out.  Choco-Luv that plays too hard and likes Cool better, but who has a playful mentality and knows how to snuggle too.  Beezer, the best lap kitty who is so shy until she warms up to you and brightens each day when I’m crabby and bleary-eyed, by asking me to cover her up with an afgan.  Obnoxious Tator, who just needs vigorous love often and acts out if he doesn’t get his fill.  His expressive face is so silly and his demanding meows so ornery.  And even Larry and Alfred.  Buddies need appreciation too.

The people?  I thank my lucky stars for Cool.  I would be alone in the world without her–she understands me. NV Feb 2010 131 And bored, I would be so bored without her antics and troubles.  She gives me so much, without providing anything material.  Unconditional love for one.  Laughter.  An uplifting spirit.  We have fun together.  And I am happy my relationship with my parents is back to a normal, happy place.  They always mean well, and would fight a lion for me.  My parents provide me with advice and support and lectures when I need them.  My parents make every holiday, by providing the most gifts and a lot of love.  They are good people, and where I learned my strong morals and work ethic.  I am also lucky to have my boss.  Yes, she can be tactless, and eleitest, and insensitive, and unappreciative.  But she’s also mostly in my corner.  When it really counts my boss is there for me, and I like that.  Those are the main staples in my life, though there are Garden of the Gods sunsetperipheral people that have influenced me, but would take too long to list.

As I mentioned above, my actions and words do not always convey appreciation and gratitude toward these people like I wish it did.  Defensiveness, pride, and frustration often override my demeanor.  I wish I could show, through my actions how much the above people mean to me more often.  Now it will at least be in the back of my mind, and hopefully more in the forefront of my actions this next year.

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Disingenuine (a non-poem)

24 Dec

I have used that title for a blog post before (in 2007?) but I think it’s appropriate today.  I read that poem, and though it’s total Douch-baggery to say, I think it’s good.  It still conveys my emotions about the time, and that person really well.  This one is not a poem, but a scenario.  One that made me feel disappointed and. . .  bad.  Not angry, but bad (for lack of better word).  Also, bare with me, because I’m really tired, so quality on this isn’t going to be outstanding.

Work.  Yes, that again.  These trouble never really go away, do they?  I suppose until I finish my education and AZ gatormove on with my life, they never will.  I was asked to work 2 additional hours today, which I did.  And I went in early to do processor chem.  While I was doing all the washing, chemicals, and horribleness that is processor chem, my boss comes near me and says, “I left something from the clinic in your shoe.”  That was it.  No “Merry Christmas!”, no “I hope you have a happy holiday!”, no “We thought we would do something nice for all your hard work.”  The whole thing felt forced to me.  An obligation.  I got the feeling my boss saw a Christmas tid-bit as some sort of job that HAD to be done, and that she wasn’t terribly excited about–maybe even–what’s the word–not quite put-out or stressed, but something that was an effort and that she didn’t really want to do or love doing.

The gift doesn’t really matter–this post isn’t about the fact I was down-graded, no doubt because I’ve left Forster-my x-mas 11Fridays.  It was the SPIRIT of the gift-giving I had a problem with.  I almost gave it back, but thought that would create drama, which isn’t my goal.  Getting the gift, made me feel icky, no happy or joyful or appreciative.  And that just isn’t the point, is it?  I felt like I had caused. . .  Hardship–that’s not quite right either.  I told you I’m tired.  I felt like if they didn’t have the right intentions behind the gift, then they shouldn’t have given it at all.

I had given everyone at work personalized, home-made, thoughtful gifts the last 2 years.  Because that’s who I normally am as a person.  I’m actually very thoughtful and thankful–this has just sapped all of that out of me. birch trees on Mars-upright All the baggage at work has made me more standoffish–and who could blame me?  The way they have treated me. . .  But this Christmas, because I did not feel the same good will and cheerful intent, I didn’t get any of them anything.  And not out of meanness, or drama, but becuase I didn’t feel it.  You should ony do nice things if your heart is actually in the right place.  I don’t wish them ill-will, but I’m fairly indifferent now, due to the past.  I think they should have done the same, if they didn’t really want to give me anything.  After all, employment is a contract.  I work, they pay me, we don’t OWE each other any more then that–certainly not Christmas cheer or presents.

I’m not going to whatever dinner they’re planning (in the same, “I have to do this” sort of spirit) in the near Walking about-July 2012 014future.  It was announced as if it was inconveniance, but had to be done.  It was made clear spouses were NOT invited.  And no one ASKED, just informed me to pick a date that would work.  So I have no intention of partaking in that for several reasons:  1.)  It is also disingenuine.  2.)  I do not like, and do not want to spend time with anyone at work–it’s bad enough I have to deal with them AT work.  Life is too short to hang out with people out of obligation and phoniness.  3.)  I do not like going places without Cool.  4.)  I do not like going places.  Or leaving my jammies. Especially if no paycheck or grades are involved and especially, especially since it’s at night and cold outside.  5.)  I’m afraid alcohol would be involved, and I do not want to deal with that scene at all.  I’m not sure how I’m going to get out of going (maybe the idea will fizzle out all-together anyway) without looking bitchy or creating drama, but there is 0% I’m showing up to anything like that.

It’s too bad that all this negativity is occuring around and because of Christmas.  That’s not really what the season is all about.  I’m going to try to forget how sad I am about this deterioration the whole thing, and have a genuinly good time with people who truly love me for who I am–my family:  Cool and the kitties, with a call to my parents in there somewhere.  Maybe I’ll donate the gift card to someone who really needs it, because I have all these bad feelings associated with it now.


I Just Wanted to Write

21 Dec

I don’t have anything in particular to share–nothing to say.  It just sounded like a cool idea to write tonight.

I’m getting more excited for new years then Christmas.  Honestly, I don’t love how capitalism has taken over chicago zoo lightsChristmas, and I have never really loved the uber-tradtional family-centered holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I’VE never had huge family gatherings.  I had to work most of the time on those holidays.  I have been unable to travel to my loved ones the majority of those times.  So it seems somewhat of a let-down.  Not because I don’t make the most out of those holidays, and not because I am particularly disappointed.  It just doesn’t meet the hype, or fall into expectations.

But New Years–I can get on board with that.  And not for drinking/party/social reasons.  I’ve only gone OUT on spikeone New Years Eve/New Years.  And I found that very empty and unworthwhile.  I like the time for reflection and new beginnings.  New Years is a day for assessment and goals.  A day to take it easy and work on myself.  I’m excited for that this year.

But Christmas will be fun.  We’re eating crepes with my Aunt tomorrow (in an effot to take Holiday-Lights-Display-in-a-Garden-JSC3782alcohol out of the equation) then making tid-bits to snack on.  Oh, and hopefully, finding/buying Rusty an oil cap.  We 4×4 around town today, getting lost on the way to sledding.  And Rusty was a trooper, but smelled really hot after such intense driving.  So I thought I would give a drink of oil before heading home.  But because I was in gloves, I dropped the stupid cap somewhere in the hood.  And we couldn’t find it in there because it was getting dark.  Then on the communt home, I heard a clunk, and am pretty sure the dumb cap must have dropped out on the road.

I’m fretting about that.  Will I be able to find the cap?  Will the cap work in between something important withinimages the hood?  Are auto stores open on Sunday?  Does the cap come in a specific size, and will it be easy to obtain?  If I can’t get the cap tomorrow will I be OK to drive to work and home on Monday?  Then of course what happens when everything stops for the Osborne Family Lights (c) disneyholiday and I still don’t have a cap?  On and on–endless worrying.

But the holidays.  Back to those.  It will be nice to have Cool and I both home simultaneously.  That was a weird scene.  We live off a side-street and some flatwheel with x-mas music and a live Santa waving from a-top of a lit float just drove by as if a parade was going on.  And now it’s all dark and quiet again out there.  I have no idea. . .