She’s Done This a Time or Two

12 Dec

As you’ve heard, my program is very resistant to meeting with students.  Yet, I need 3 letters of recommendation from these same people–it’s tricky.  With one week before the end of the semester I wanted to be certain my Walking about-July 2012 038professor knew my face before I asked for a letter of rec next year.  We were told asking in an e-mail is appropriate, and also requesting a meeting to establish a reporre is fine.  So nervously, I did both those things.  And she took 3 or 4 days to write back.  I was nervous she wanted a more formal inquisition.  Nervous she wanted to say no.  But in the response she showed a willingness–if I kept my A in her class, and if I didn’t need a letter to apply for our school’s program (NO!) because she’s the head of our department and it’s probably considered a conflict of interest.  Anyway, the tone still seemed a little hesitant about the whole thing, and she said there would be no time in the next week for a meeting.

That’s the thing about December–when you say next year or in a year–clarification needs to be made.  I think she thought I was asking for a letter before Spring semester (2014) technically “next year.”  I was impressed she tree lt 2would write me a letter during finals week in the first place, though I’m certain it wouldn’t have been in any way “sparkling.”  I wrote her back that I meant a year from now, next December 2014, not next year, January 2014.  And I emphasized the meeting wasn’t time-dependent, we had a whole year to do it.  I also explained it was important to me because she was in the main (crowded) classroom and I was upstairs, unable to shout out answers or establish any sort of connection with her.  I don’t just want form-letters, I want nice reviews, based on ME and my performance. Her class is one of three that strongly relates to my audiology career AND she has nice credentials (and I don’t really love the other hearing prof’s attitude) so I want one from her.  We had a good laugh over the miscommunication, and she said, “just stop by my office next semester” as a way of politely disengaging my meeting request.

Well-practiced!  She never got beligerant (this was different and good), and she didn’t say an explicit no.  She’s good!  I was left with a choice–press for a meeting that she apparently didn’t want, or take my chances and get a generic letter.  Being me, I pressed (just a little bit) and asked what days she would be in town (she travels back & forth to the primary campus), and what times work best.  We all know that “stopping by” will not be welcome or productive, if I happened upon her at all.  She sort of gave out various non-comittal days, but no times.  I left well enough alone, because you don’t want to make your letter-writers annoyed (even if you are not being unresonable or out-of-line in your request).  I don’t think asking for a 20 minute meeting in the next year is crazy, but you know my department. . .  My professor never said no to a meeting–but I don’t have one either. Tricky, tricky.

In other happenings:

When did THIS happen?  A 90% seems to be my new unacceptable?  Tht paper that I worked so hard on–the one that I searched so long on Tuesday and Wednesday to find appropriate sources for, spent ALL day Thanksgiving better view of nervesworking on the citations, a huge piece of Friday writing it, and Saturday & Sunday morning editing.  45/50.  Hmmm.  I guess the percentage doesn’t look terrible, but the class average of 47.6 bothers me.  How was my work BELOW average?!!!  And I’m sure it will be just awful to get the paper back and see it all marked in red.  I need to forget the comparison with my classmates–who cares how they do?  It’s not relevent to my performance or my life.  But what really bothers me is the cost/benefit analysis.  I would not have poured so much time into the assignment if I knew I was going home with a medocre final grade.  Not final, final–I end the class with a 97.5%.  Which is fine–an A+ is an A+ after all.  But I feel gyped because of all those unfair test grading practices, and now the paper.  Whatever.  I guess it’s over, and can’t be changed, and I just have one more semester with this gal, and she’s not nearly as bad as “the bitch.”  I’ll just keep doing my best, and hope the grades reflect that (more).

Feeling (apparently) of this morning = disappointment.

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