Procrastination List

16 Dec

I don’t know how some things end up there.  Phone calls, especially, tend to end up on things I should have done but didn’t yet do.  I hate making calls for whatever reason!  And sometimes when I finally DO whatever I’ve been putting off for days and days, weeks, or a semester as the case may be.  I needed a new student ID (to get free bus access for just in case) and this went on my to-do list in August.  I literally moved the item to every next school day because I never felt like I looked the same or better then my original picture on the card.  Finally, on FINALS week, in December I went in to get a new ID–only because next semester they charge you for it.  And I didn’t even have to take a new picture. . .  So I had put off the task, had to think about it, and stressed about it–really for nothing.  See what I did there–I procrastinated finishing that sentence above and told you an example story.  The point?  Sometimes when the task is done, it was so much shorter and easier then I thought, and there was no reason to put it off at all.  Procrastination is stupid.  It just makes the task that much bigger, scarier, take up more thought and time.

I know this, and yet.  For some reason I’ve really been putting off my scholarship application.  You remember how unlucky I’ve been with this in the past–maybe that’s part of it.  I know just how important it is–how could I throw away FREE money?!  I need it.  And it shouldn’t be that hard.  I think it will be fine to just edit my 6 essays of last year and re-submit them.  I guess that’s where my concern comes from.  Those essays didn’t get me money last year, so I feel I should have totally started over and written new ones.  But during the semeter I didn’t have take the time, and now I want to wade through NEXT semester’s class things instead of writing 6 new essays that may or may not garner me funding.  So I guess it’s out of guilt that I’m not finishing this scholarship app like I should.

uphill battle

And that guilt sucks.  I also had really wanted to volunteer over the year–that’s what gets you the real scholarship money.  But school and work just took over and that didn’t happen 😦  So I’m sort of stuck, knowing it’s too late this year, but feeling like maybe with enough effort I could salvage something.  I suppose I should just turn in what I have, and look to next year–set myself up more for success next time.

Giving up.  It’s a bad feeling.

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