The BiPolar is Catching

30 Jan

I’m excited and happy and stress-free.  Then I’m anxious, stressed-out, and guilty.  That’s my scene as of late, and I’m surprised Cool hasn’t slipped me some of her meds.  Oh that would require her to remember to take them heself. . .  All joking aside, I think I got on some sort of [sleep-disruption–>caffeine–>sleepless] spiral.  You know how those two feed each other.  I have to get it straightened out!

Also, blogging every day during school is too tall of an order for me.  There is just not enough time in a day for all the things I want to accomplish.  I will be relieved when January is over so I can legit break-the-chain and have a few rest days.  Also, it’s been difficult to stick to goals/motivation/trasnsformative/resolution topics only.  I may have stepped a toe on the line a time or two, but I did it for the most part.

Maybe I’ll do another list for time’s sake:

*It has snowed a bunch in the last couple days.

*My 4×4 (the physical shifter) will no longer go into one of the 4×4 settings.  It will now only do the low-speed if I want 4×4 at all.

*This makes driving stressful–it’s either get pushed around by kamikazi-crazies annoyed I’m under the speed limit, or slide around/get stuck.

*I’m nervous about the potential cause–are we talking a few bucks for a shifter-fork-thingy or over a thousand snow(before labor) for a new transmission?!  I cannot be without my car!

*Cool can’t either.  I had to brave the evening commute reckless drivers and take her to work for the last 2 days.  Then pick her up at midnight.  Before getting up in the 4AMs to go to my own job/school.

*Sometimes I feel great about studying.  Sometimes I feel lazy/awful and extremely guilty.  It has been very hard for me to find the motivation to push through with what I feel is the appropriate amount of effort.

Fall finals 123*I’m not sure if I’m just nervous because everything has been school, study, work, sleep, repeat in the past and now I’ve added some fitness and recreation–or if I am in fact.  Slipping.

*I’m trying to study very hard but in short bursts, then be kind to myself afterwards.  Hopefully, things will balance.

*I went to my school’s writing center for help on my CV–and the dude didn’t know the story.  Didn’t know about CVs, had a 2 page personal resume, didn’t understand my program or what the standards for my applications might be–and wasn’t affiliated with my school or our partner school.

*I hate going to things where I feel my time would have been better spent elsewhere–this goes for 5 hours of no appointments at work too.  All I can think is–what a waste.

*Now, I don’t know where to turn for CV guidance.  The professors in my program would be most helpful as a resource, because they’ve written and read CVs, know what schools are looking for, and sort of know me–but I really don’t want to deal with their major meeting-aversion stuff.

*Are these bullet-points or mini-paragraphs?  Am I saving ANY time?

*Let’s see.  I intended on writing a 2013 countdown type post about the top albums put out last year.  But I DMB africawanted to post in New Year’s Eve–as is customary.  I’m not going to be able to finish it in January even–maybe next month?  Maybe why bother?

*We made tacos for lunch today.  I thought they were one of my ultimate favorites.  BUT for whatever reason Grocery Outlet never, never, never has taco seasoning, and it’s not worth going to another store for that item alone.  So we seasoned our own beef.  Who knew?  It’s the taco packet that makes or breaks that meal for me?  I was severely disappointed.

*I’m probably not supposed to say anything about this because of super-scary HIPPA laws, but I transcribe some utterances for my independent study.  And I’m excited I have one with an African-American English Dialect that is already humorous and I’m excited to begin on it.  Secondly, I think my tiny-tron of this morning has a BM at the end of the recording.  I had to transcribe all utterances and noises–I was mortified.

*I’ll write a for-real post tomorrow.  Hopefully something to see where I am on January/2014 goals and set up a plan for February’s focus.

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