Archive | February, 2014

February: Upheaval for Goal Progress

28 Feb

Maintenance Goals (from 2013):

-floss daily = did it!  EVERY day of Feb.  A dental appt is out now that I have limited income though 😦  –>So in March it’s operation thorough job.

-drink water = a minimum of 4 cups daily.  And I even had 8 cups on some days.  Some of that was because of my recent sweet tooth or carbo overload.  One thing at a time.  Water is going better.  It’s my primary beverage now (I had 10 oz of coffee ALL month, and usually in 2 oz allotments!).  –>6 min in March.

coffee elephant

-read for pleasure = on school nights I did this.  AND I finally finished the hefty AIDS book I’ve been reading since school began in late August!!!  –>I’m happy to say I started a book about Native American women.  Two passions of mine.  Just in time for Women’s month of March.

-weekly massage = I think we did it.  Maybe we skipped 1 or 2?  –>Now that I get a true weekend (YAY!) I’m certain we’ll be waaay more awesome at this.

-abstain from drinking = done.  It’s been since November now, and I feel really good about this.  My new healthy attitude feels outstanding!  I LIKE being healthy–who knew?!  –>In March, let it be known that health is IN and vices (except food ones, obviously) are OUT.

-study habits = I made the BIG changes to really make this happen because it is so important to me.  This was a primary reason (out of many) that I resigned from veterinary work.  –>I plan on keeping up, doing extra, and getting ahead.  I’m giving it 110% in March!

January=fitness = Let’s see, today was day 58 of doing at least 1 mile on the treadmill first thing in the morning.  Brandi and DaveAnd this week, since now I’ll be more sedentary (and Cool always was) we added a 2nd mile.  I am sore–I feel muscular, strong, healthy, and Cool says I’m thin like “paper.”  Food is my downfall though.  I forgot to have a daily apple for much of the month, buying Labor Dave tickets meant no groceries for a week and a half, and finishing work left little time to cook what we could scrape from the back of cupboards and the bottom of the freezer.  –>Now that I don’t work, we’ll get back to adding daily produce.  But tonight–it’s ice cream for dinner to celebrate a non-Forster Friday, and my first true, non-traded weekend in a long, long time.  Life is good.

Feb=have gratitude; say nice things = In February, I worked on saying nice things to ME.  I’ve been hard on myself and as such had been berating more than supporting my efforts.  Also, being finished with work will help with this.  And lastly, as I lay awake in bed, I try to list everything I’m thankful for in an effort to sleep.  –>In March I’ll work on finding more for my positivity jar.

March=straighten out sleep =  Despite having consistent sleep and wake times, an alloted 9 hours of rest, and good sleep hygiene–this is a stubborn one.  I thought this problem would go away without work stress.  Not so.  I thought cutting off liquids at noon would help.  I wake up whether or not I have to pee.  Taking Meletonin prior to bed also does little to help.  Cool gets home at midnight at midnight, which is disruptive, but I’ll then be awake for 1, 2, or even 3 hours after she gets home.  I read maybe a certain organ (gallbladder, liver) or hormone is involved if you’re wakeful at specific times consistently.  I don’t know, but this is a major bummer.  –>Research what else I can do to remain/get back to sleep.

April=save $$$.  Fail.  I stopped working.  Yet it was time to buy Labor Dave Weekend (and Brandi Carlile!!!) seats as we had been planning for so long.  So this is not a good scene, but I can’t let fear drive me any longer.  I have to align my actions with my goals, and the finances will just have to tighten up to accommodate that.  –>Minimize expenses.  Donate plasma for $$,really hype my tutoring, and +/- sell unused items on Craigslist.

May=volunteer.  Well, I haven’t actually volunteered yet.  BUT–I signed up for one in April, have intention to do Habitat for Humanity when the weather improves, and I let my advisor know I’m available–and she signed me up for a project in mid-March.

June=Cool.  February was such a blur, I’m not sure how this went down.  I know I am super-supportive of Snowboard Emx 2014 013Cool’s treadmilling.  I always cheer her and coach her an also mention how her legs are so toned now.  As with everything else, not working (and carrying around the stress of work) will help in this area.  –>Say 3 nice things every day to Cool.

July=my appearance.  I made an effort my last weeks of work!  I got out all my favorite scrubs, matched them up really nice, and even had shoes and undershirts that went with the look of the day.  I also wore makeup and fixed my hair.  No one offered any complements, but I felt good–and it just reaffirmed I was making the right decision about leaving.  –>Try to wear a new outfit each day, things I haven’t worn in awhile, and accessories.  This will give me style and make me feel like I’ve gone on a shopping spree (without spending a cent).

last wk Frb 2014 006

Aug=Worry Less, Thank more.  After the mid-month panic and difficult decisions and talks were finished, I managed to be calm.  Even with pending exams.  Even despite financial unknowns.  Good job to me.  I knew my decision was the right one because I felt SO calm about it.  –>Now that things are more settled, resume worry max 30 min a day.

Sept=make a list, grocery shop, cook ahead.  Sucked.  This did not happen in any way.  –> But in March I have big plans to stick to this hard-core.

Oct=don’t over-pluck.  I hate this!  I didn’t really pluck, but was self-conscious about my brows every day.  I wanted to pluck in a big way.  I still don’t know how to manage these things.  –>Look up eyebrow management.

Nov=Increase eye contact.  Ummm, I don’t know actually.  I feel like I should and that I tried especially during all the big, serious work talks.  But maybe I was too nervous/emotional to actually do it.  –>Maybe just start by looking at faces.  Start slow.

last wk Frb 2014 014

So going into March it’s all relief, happiness, and hope.  I feel good about life and think I’m making a lot of progress aligning my actions and goals!

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My last Day of Veterinary Assisting

24 Feb

Hopefully my last day ever.  I guess hopefully.  I would like to move forward and not have to go back to it only out of desperation.  But I guess I don’t know what the future holds.  My anticipated last day of my life in the veterinary field was. . .  Anticlimactic.  Which perfectly sums up the 19 years I spent working in the field, honestly.  I didn’t want a fuss.  I didn’t make a big deal during my last 2 weeks of work.  Didn’t tell any clients I was leaving–I didn’t want to be THAT person.  This was my decision and I didn’t want people to feel obligated to say things they didn’t genuinely think to say on their own accord.  But I wanted???  Something.  At least a goodbye or a good job or–I don’t know, not a big party or drama or phoniness–but. . .  Something.

I honestly don’t know how I feel about my last day, former life, veterinary assisting.  When I was giving my heart headresignation I thought I would feel excited.  I’m not, really.  I put pictures up on Facebook, thinking it would make me feel nostalgic.  But it actually made me feel kind of icky.  I didn’t have very many pictures of me working, or even work at all from the last 19 years.  I always had the mentality that there was not even 2 minutes for pictures at work, because I had to BE working every second I was there.  So that was disappointing.  Posting the pictures also made me feel–icky.  There were a lot of Mary, and being reminded of her cheating, horribleness, mid-life crises, and the way she treated me hurt.  The pictures just reminded me of burned bridges, thankless jobs, and made my whole 19 years seem more negative than positive.  Which I hope is not the case–but I guess almost half of those years WERE more negative then positive.  And I thought I would feel relief today.  But really, I felt nothing.  I wasn’t sad/happy, bitter/sentimental, nervous/excited.  Just blank.

I knew they wouldn’t do anything nice for me.  So I made my own nice last day and sent myself flowers.  When I to me from me last day everordered the bouquet I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t feel TERRIBLE that nobody got me a card or a gift or said last goodbyes (I knew they wouldn’t).  So I sent myself flowers, clearly labeled to me, from me.  It wasn’t a sneaky–ohhh I’ll send myself flowers and play it off like someone else sent them.  I was OK with me doing something special for me.  And maybe I wanted to shame them (just a little) for neglecting such an important, mile-stone day.  Except when the flowers actually arrived at work, I guess I lost my nerve and got a little embarrassed about it.  Suddenly I felt like a lame-ass sending myself roses on Valentine’s Day or something.  So when my coworker guessed they were from Cool I just said they were.  Lame.

But I’m glad I did send the flowers, because sure enough, in the morning, there was no card, no cake, no gift. cat face Certainly no balloons wishing me well or thanking me for my service, or congratulating me on a job well done or on my future endeavors.  None of that.  My boss mentioned my last day, just an acknowledgement (which IS better than the nothing I got from EVERYbody else at work), a couple times throughout the day, but never made a big deal, indicated she’d/they’d miss me, or said anything thoughtful about it.  But that’s veterinary for you.

AuroaThere’s such a high turnover rate, such a high burn-out rate, that when people come and go it’s just business as usual to the hospital and those still working there.  Veterinary staff are truly just bodies–fairly easy to replace.  So vets expect people to leave–they quickly turn to finding the next person, covering the shifts–logistics.  It’s just the practical thing I guess.  It’s been much the same everywhere I’ve worked–and for everyone leaving.  There was not only no fuss, but hardly a mention, when I wrapped up my seasonal horse position, moved from Missouri, finished the summer at emergency, or went across the state from Seattle.  And there wasn’t any during my last morning ever as an assistant.

Nor at lunch.  But at 3PM(?) when the flowers came, my boss said, “I’ve had something in my car for you.”  And luckyI’m a suspicious person so I wondered if she HAD specially picked something just for me for this day, or if it was random groceries that happened to be in the car or a gift from someone else still in there, or a gift intended for someone else.  But who knows?  Maybe she HAD specifically gotten something with me in mind and HAD already intended on presenting it at the end of the day.  And it was champagne.  Which she had no idea I can’t drink.  They don’t know enough about my life to realize I’ve given up alcohol completely.  There was no card either.  Which made me more suspicious it just happened to be in there already and when flowers came she felt guilty for being jerks and neglecting my important occasion.  But maybe she brought it just for me and just didn’t put a card–or mention it until my flowers arrived.  I guess I’ll never know, and it doesn’t matter anyway.

1st day of work everWe had to stay late.  And it was snowing a lot all day.  Everyone was eager to leave.  And without pomp & circumstance, they did.  No goodbyes or final words, just leaving like a normal day–like every other normal day.  To them, tomorrow’s just another day and someone else will be there instead of me–no big deal.  I just remembered I had instructions from Cool to walk out that door the last time of being a tech, and take a deep breath.  Let go of the old and embrace my new direction.  I forgot.  I also hurried to my car and started scraping snow off my windows to get ready for a slick and snowy commute home.  I guess veterinary medicine is a part of me too.  It was just another day leaving work.

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Triggers and Rewards

23 Feb

I haven’t had a drink since November.  It’s an accomplishment I’m proud of–and surpringly not difficult on a daily basis like I thought it would be.  Mostly, I don’t even think about it.  This is an old post, and one I hesitated to put up, but I was reminded because of concert tickets.  I told myself that if I didn’t drink, I would reward myself with a ticket to a 2nd show on Labor Dave Weekend.  We can usually only afford one of the 3 days.  But with money saved by not buying alcohol, we could get another show this year.  So it was saved money AND reward simultaneously.  Then, Brandi Carlile sweetened the deal by signing on for all 3 days of the show!  It’s a dream come true.  So since we just got those 4 tickets (Cool bought us each a tik for Friday, I bought Cool a good seat for Sunday, and my parents got ME a good seat Sunday as an early b-day gift) this Friday–here’s how much work went into getting here:

Easter 006


-surprisingly, having licquor in the house has not mattered one iota.  Nor has seeing it in grocery stores.

-seeing a new beer on tap.

-seeing taps at all.

-when Cool mentions drinking, or buying alcohol (except she also quit alcohol altogether as of February).

-seeing my fave restaurants post pics/specials on Facebook.

-Going to restaurants, visitng our old favorite restaurants, SEEING the cocktail menu.Walla Faces tasting

-when TV/movie characters are drinking or talking about it.

-visiting Aunt Linda.

-stressful work days (Forster Fridays especially).

-bitchy professors–snippy comments, rude e-mail responses.

-feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork/studying.

Halloween 2013 006-having unscheduled time with Cool (hardly happens due to opposing work schedules).  And now our expectations have been re-set so this isn’t an issue at ALL any more.

-post-tests or after receiving a good grade–for celebration.

-when there is time to kill or free-time (which again, rarely happens with work schedules and perpetual studying).

-concerts/parties/functions (virtually non-existent in my life, but applicable sometime I guess).

-reading a blog/book talking about alcohol in any way.

-drinking-centric holidays like Superbowl and St. Patty’s Day–though Thanksgiving and Christmas (holidays about something) weren’t difficult at ALL.

-thinking of missing out at Labor Dave tailgating, at Fandango Champagne brunch, or when we move to CO with all the craft breweries.


-irritability when a normal drinking time approaches/arrives and I’m NOT.

-Anxiety/worry/stress/frustration in anticipation of work or after a bad work day (or perceived negative interaction with someone at work)

-worry and stress about studies

-obsessing over exchanges with others where I felt misunderstood/frustrated.

-Desire when I see the restaurants (marketing drinks).

-guilt at ruining a good time because of abstinence.

Side Effects:

-I don’t think I had any physical symptoms.

-In the first week, especially, I experienced irritability when drinking times approached arrived and I knew I couldn’t participate.

-In week 3+ my sleep schedule got really messed up.  Mornings started feeling really early.  And I was very tired though-out work, and tired in class.  This may or may not be related to abstaining from drink.  I wasn’t very consistent in my sleep and wake times, which might have set this one off.

-I started having energy drinks to remain functional on 9-12 hour work days.  This bled over to school days.  Except, drinking them gave me headaches, and barely made me functional, hardly energetic.

-Day 20-ish, I do not know if it was situational or not, but I felt overwhelmingly stressed and anxious, to the point I seriously considered dropping one of my classes.  In this period I was (even more) hypersensitive, stressed, and worried.

-On day 23-ish feelings of day 20 combined with an extreme tiredness and fatigue.  I could not concentrate, couldn’t focus, and felt super-tired.  An example of the fatigue was that I got a hole in my right sock and took it off, but found it was far too much effort to remove the left sock, let along dig out a new pair.  So I slept in the one sock.

coffee teddy

Things I Did:

-I made my sleep schedule a priority

-I cut out caffeine (mostly)

-Cool and I have run a mile on the treadmill for 53 days in a row

-I drink 4-8 cups of water every day

-I take time for gratitude daily.

-I quit my job.  Did you read long enough to catch that?  My last day is tomorrow, but I didn’t want to mention it earlier because you never know who is reading.  More on THIS is an upcoming series.

Gorge Friday 8-30-13 crowd

So overall, I’m proud of me and the strides I’ve taken to align my actions with my goals.  Now that I don’t drink I live a healthier lifestyle in general, worry less, feel positive and more hopeful, and think clearly about where I want to go in my life.

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Motivating Quotes

20 Feb

-Marcus Aurelius:
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.110617-CirrusRainbowPhoto-hmed-0825a.grid-7x2
-Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what could be.
-Bo Bennett
While we are focusing on fear, worry or hate, it is not possible for us to be experiencing happiness, enthusiasm or love.
-Louis E. Boone
Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.
bud-Never let your fear decide your future.
-H. Jackson Browne:
Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.
-Edmund Burke
No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.
-The hardest part about growing is letting go of what you were used to, and moving on with something you’re not.
-Dale Carnegie
If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
-Worry gives small things a big shadow. In the end, you can either focus on what’s tearing you apart, or what’s holding you together.

balloons over Washoe Valley
-Dale Carnegie
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.
-What you allow is what will continue. It’s better to be lonely than allow negative people and their opinions derail you from your destiny.
The German by Cool 004-Dale Carnegie
You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.
-Chin-Ning Chu
In spite of your fear, do what you have to do.
-Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak; sometimes it simply means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and grow.
-Paulo Coelho
Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream.
-William Congrevedec 2010 158
Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear.
-Growth and change may be painful sometimes, but nothing in life is as painful as staying stuck where you don’t belong.
-Bill Cosby
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
-William James:
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.
-John Paul Jones:
If fear is cultivated it will become stronger, if faith is cultivated it will achieve mastery.

-John C. Maxwell
The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one.
-Karl A. Menninger
The voice of the intelligence is drowned out by the roar of fear.

-Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Where fear is, happiness is not.
-Brian Tracy
The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.
-You will never achieve what you are capable of if you’re too attached to things you’re supposed to let go of.

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Crime Solved–Using the Speech & Hearing Sciences

19 Feb

Their child, Nicholas Barclay, had been missing from Texas for 3.5 years.  Out of the blue, the family got a call from Spain saying he had reappeared.

They world-renowned child psychiatrist knew beyond a shadow of a doubt the man couldn’t be from America pharyngeal musclesbecause at 13 years old, his Texan accent would be cemented.  Speech is developed primarily until age 7-8.  Even three years of being forced to speak French wouldn’t erase the initial dialect patterns formulated in early childhood.

pinna 4The second big tip-off was the ears.  Ears maintain their shape throughout the lifespan.  And this imposter had Darwin’s tubercles.  The Texas missing boy didn’t.  The ears were diffierently shaped, so everyone knew the two could not be the same.

Come to find out the imposter, Bourdin, had stolen youth identities over 500 times in 15 different countries.  In France, they called him, “le chamillion.”

big lazard

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Broken Heart [Anti-Valentine #8]

14 Feb

This may be the only annual post I’ve completed every year since I began blogging.  THAT’S how important I feel it is to spread the message the Valentine’s Day is nothing positive.








It’s all hype and phoniness, and contrived to SELL merch.  This year, I’ll be focusing more in the feelings of inadequacy and loneliness the “holiday” can foster.  Sure, I’ve mentioned it before, but I never talked of adult and teen depression and the very real consequences of these emotions:  Divorce and suicide.

blacks birds

Valentine’s Day is a day of those who have it and those who don’t.  “It,” being commercialized, overt, expressions of love.  This is not to be confused with actual love, friendly-love, or compassion.  Those are all very real, and intangible feelings that can’t be bought or paraded around for the admiration and envy of others.  And though they’re different then the passionate type of love flaunted on Valentine’s Day, I’d argue they’re even more important.  And substantial.

For those who feel left out of the Valentine’s commotion, life can feel pretty empty.  And just try to get away from all the hearts, flowers, and gifts that day.  The advertising and parading is ubiquitous.  And teens are imprisoned at school, can’t find an escape.  People who are already having relationship woes find them exacerbated by the great expectations of February 14th.  A product of failed expectations can be a ruined family unit.  Teens with low self-esteem or who are still testing relationship waters and don’t have that ONE special person–can get down.

Also written by someone else, but very pertinent to MY point:

Some students left school with armloads of gifts, while many others sat empty-handed. Some girls sent flowers to each other, and I knew more than one who sent flowers to herself. I remember seeing girls cry in the restroom after their boyfriends failed to send them a gift, and I remember watching boys cruelly snicker as they watched an unpopular girl react with joy as she received a flower supposedly from one of their buddies, but which was really just a mean hoax.

Facts from other internet sources (take the validity as you will):

-Forty percent of people have negative feelings towards Valentine’s Day.

-A recent poll found that one in ten young adults admitted to feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, or unwanted on Valentine’s Day. And that’s just the ones that admitted it.

-divorce internet search/lawyers increase around this day

-Research suggests that 75 percent of suicide attempts are attributable to relationship problems.

-Last year, the Missouri Suicide Crisis hotline had extra staff on duty because they expected approximately 50 percent more calls on Valentine’s Day.

Laurel's pics 189It breaks MY heart that our commercialistic society whole-heartedly endorses a holiday that’s so hurtful to so many people in order to sell a few teddy bears.  It’s hard to feel good about a holiday that leaves so many adults left feeling lonely and disappointed.  A day that leaves students feeling miserable about themselves, and drives them to take drastic measures.  

I like the idea of GALentines day or PALintines day a lot better.  I fine those all-inclusive and based on making Leslie Knopeeveryone feel good.  Much better than just thrusting “love” in everybody else’s faces to feel superior and special.  And to the detriment of those that don’t.

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How Did I Get into this HOLE?

11 Feb

-Taking 2 Sundays to snowboard may have contributed–and the trip to the emergency room certainly didn’t help.

-Superbowl further derailed me (just a little)

-PS–even though I’m really sad to be missing out on the entire Olympics (no cable/satellite/channels) I’m glad that’s not a factor right now too.  But I wouldn’t mind the ability to DVR it for later!

-So having somewhat of a life, for 1 day a week, only briefly really ended up killing me.  Which sucks.

-Then work stress made me focus elsewhere when I should have been doing the little bit of catch-up I needed to do.

-And sleeplessness from work stress didn’t help the next day be productive.

-Then the life-altering decision took up every last second.  Every last one.  Which is unfortunate during school–especially when it directly pertained to school = ironic.

-Then the sleeplessness from nervousness about going ahead with the plan didn’t help my studies.

-Add in unclear test material:  We skipped ahead, went backward, then started covering the NEXT exam’s material.

-So now the stress has waned somewhat, but I still don’t have a lot of time.  And the time I DO have is spent trying to figure out what I NEED to study–not actual studying.  Add to that I’m really tired.

And there you have it = I’m discouraged.  Which is no way to succeed.  Or to try to learn things.  I feel exam 1 is already lost with no hope of learning everything (or een knowing what “everything” is) by Thursday.  I guess I’ll study what I do know is on the exam super-hard and just forget about the rest and hope my reading/note-taking/previous classes can carry me through.  I’m pretty certain that I’ll have to be struggling to make up for a poor exam grade though.  And nobody likes that story.

OK abrupt ending b/c I have to sleep immediately.  So tonight–it’s operation go to bed early so I can at least wake up refreshed to give it my all tomorrow!

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Fishy Non-Shipment: Big Bang

9 Feb

This last summer, I had some extra house-sitting money, so I went to purchase Big Bang Theory from Amazon.  Every time I house-sit for my boss the show is on her satellite TV–but always the same 4 episodes we’ve already seen.  So I thought it would be a good time to get some context on the funny show.  And I always like to support the gays–Jim Parsons (at least) I still have my suspicions about Roseanne’s David, whatever that actor’s name is.

Anyway, as you can see below, I ordered a 3 season set for $32.99.  This is from my confirmation e-mail:

Shipment Details

The Big Bang Theory: Seasons 1-3
Sold by CraftyDVDStore
Condition: Used – VeryGood
Facebook Twitter Pinterest $32.99

Item Subtotal: $32.99
Shipping & Handling: $3.99
Total Before Tax: $36.98
Shipment Total: $36.98
Paid by Visa: $36.98

The Big Bang Theory: Seasons 1-3

Johnny Galecki (Actor), Jim Parsons (Actor) | Format: DVD

And then–it never arrived.  But I had ordered something else from Amazon in that time frame and IT hadn’t arrived either.  So I thought there was some compromise in my mail route.  Lost at the Post Office?  Neighbor stealing packages?  Anything is possible.

And when the end shipping date finally arrived, and I STILL didn’t have it–I fired off an e-mail to get a replacement or get the first order here.  And the company was just like sorry–refund.  They didn’t send another one, or explain where my shipment went. . .


So 6 months later I thought I might try ordering it again.  And the lowest price for a 3 season set?  $132.99.  Hmmm, notice anything?  MINE was $32.99, and it never came.  I think someone typed the price in error (missing the 1) on the post and the website sold it to me.  And I think it never arrived because the company didn’t want to lost that $100.

That’s my theory–maybe I should be on Big Bang!  And I’m sad, because I still don’t have even one DVD let alone 3 seasons. . .


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Jacob’s Ladder

7 Feb

I think the movie was going for some sort of “Sixth Sense” reveal, but ultimately tried to cram to much in to get a full effect. It tried something, but missed the mark by going in too many directions.

PTSD, biological warfare, paranoia, flashbacks, one family & a random girlfriend, a hospital torture scene, post office job, subway craziness, monsters, angelic chiropractor, and a dead child. That’s too many loose ends for one movie. It doesn’t pack a punch, send me into analysis, or make me think–it made me schizophrenic. Did the plots of 5 movies get jumbled together?  Did the writer/direction have a plan for this?

I think the people that liked this were pretentious–and automatically assume SMART people get it. All I see is poor story telling, and nothing substantial to grab onto. Mulholland Drive–that is a puzzle that can be solved with attention to detail and some analysis. This one = fragmented garbage.

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5 Feb

We’re going back.  Back to Christmas Eve 2014.

Our television broke. The picture slims down to a tiny horizontal line in the middle of the screen. It’s very unfortunate, because Cool has a TV. 6 hours away at her mom’s house. I also have a really fancy TV. A huge, flatscreen–my parent’s former TV. In storage. . . 14 hours away. And we are moving in less then 2 years.

As such, we didn’t want to go into debt at Christmastime to get a new one. But we need something. That’s my one relaxation. Over to Craigslist. FLAKESlist. Cool was in charge.

ornery face

She informes me she found a nice, functional one, for $30. But (there’s always a BUT on Craigslist) the people she was talking to actually had it at their parent’s house, and they had to see when it was convenant for their parents to set a pick up. Turns out that day was Christmas Eve. At 1 PM. Well, I had agreed to work until noon that day, which always turns into about 12:45-1PM.

And of course work did run late, which I expect. And is why I try not to plan things until at least 2 hours after expected closing time. If at all, because after work I’m tired. And usually grumpy–due to work.

And this is how Cool operates: When we were almost finished with work (12:35PM?) I picked up my phone expecteing to see a text from Cool making some sort of adjustment to the pick up plan–we were going to be late. But nothing. So I texted her–maybe she would meet me at my work, because that was closer to the loacation? Nope, come home, it’s fine.

I get home at 12:55PM. We are already going to be late. And Cool? No shoes on. AND she hasn’t lokked at the address, a map, or programed directions into the GPS/phone. This is normal Coollie-style. I’m freaking out, as my style is all anxiety/stress/lateness-phobia.

We drive around. We get lost. Finally, Cool calls the people. We are LATE. I’m unhappy and grumpy and tired and exasperated. Neither party is any good at conveying directions, so the Craigslist people agree to come to where we are, so we can follow them back home.

We get there–and the guys were really nice. But 5(!) men loaded this TV into the back of Cool’s HHR. And it barely fit. I’m thinking: 1) If people were there to load it, why did I have to be involved at all 2) It sucks that Cool neglected to remember cash so I had to pay 3) Where are we going to put that–and how will the 2 of us ever get it up the stairs?!

We pull up to the bottom of the stairs at home. Cool takes one side and I the other. We have less then half the manpower that got the TV into the car, and a verticle to overcome. Cool starts taking slow, tiny steps, and I’m telling her, “Go faster, it will be over faster if we hustle. Use momentum!” But any momentum we had was lost. We made it up 1-2 steps before Cool turned shaky and red in the face and started yelling in frustration. I was like, “Shhhh, shut UP the neighbors will hear [you can hear everything through the walls] and DON’T drop it!” She set her end on the step, leaving me with the bulk of the weight. And I heard metal crunching sounds.

So I told her to come below and help me push. We would have to roll the TV end-over-end up the remaining stairs. Magically, it worked. At the top, Cool went to park the car and I finished lugging the TV (probably double my weight) into the apartment, and across the room.

The first thing that I notice is that this new TV is just as big as our largest piece of furniture, the entertainment center.  We have Wal-Mart cheap furniture, just to get by before we move.  I have some nicer, more substancial pieces. . .  In storage.  I’m thinking–there is no way we can set heft this TV onto any furniture because the furniture will be crushed.  Cool says, “Maybe I should have measured,”

Welcome to my life.


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