Archive | 6:36 AM

With Time–Comes Poverty [post-quil]

19 Jul

last wk Frb 2014 006I’m not complaining.  If I had to make the decision to quit my job (with no prospects) again, right now:  I’d make the exact same choice.  It was one of the best decisions I ever made.  Not that it was easy.  Quitting that job, the only career avenue I’ve ever known, facing uncertainty–was one of the most difficult things.  BUT I needed to get out for my own mental health.  And I do feel so much better.  That decision allowed me to make better personal choices, clean up my act, pursue the things that are important to my future.  And I’m a lot happier and more relaxed.  Also I’m not in a panic over lack of money/jobs yet.  As a matter of fact, with each new semester, comes a new loan distribution.  Which will HURT in the future, but is really easing my mind right now.

Work:Money.  What an unfair relationship! When I have enough money (rarely excess) there is no time to do anything with it. No days off/vacation time to go anywhere. No time away from obligation to shop or enjoy recreation. . .  And if there is brief, hard-fought time–there’s always guilt and worry associated with it.  Who will be mad at me and make my life miserable for the next 5 months?  How much work will they leave for when I’m back?  How behind will we be?  It really sucks a lot of the fun out of the getting away part.

But when there is time–I have no money. Or am terrified of spending what I do have, because you never know the money needs to last. . .  You look for ways to make money, realize everything you own is not profitable to re-sell.  How is it DVDs, books, clothes, even cars are so expensive to buy–but you practically have to give them away?!  Not.  Fair.

So now that I’m unemployed I need to change my mentality. I will not let fear or greed rule me.  Worry will not eat at me. fly I’ll take action where I can, then just have faith when nothing else can be done.  Stop wanting and pining because it’s torturous and depressing. I need to enjoy what I already have, nature, and intangible things like love.  And appreciate what I already have.  Which is really a lot.  Secondly (twenty-secondly?), I need to compile and prioritize a list of what I do need and want. Then later, when I do have an income again, I get get the things at the top of the list.

Here, my wants: