I’m not complaining. If I had to make the decision to quit my job (with no prospects) again, right now: I’d make the exact same choice. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. Not that it was easy. Quitting that job, the only career avenue I’ve ever known, facing uncertainty–was one of the most difficult things. BUT I needed to get out for my own
mental health. And I do feel so much better. That decision allowed me to make better personal choices, clean up my act, pursue the things that are important to my future. And I’m a lot happier and more relaxed. Also I’m not in a panic over lack of money/jobs yet. As a matter of fact, with each new semester, comes a new loan distribution. Which will HURT in the future, but is really easing my mind right now.
Work:Money. What an unfair relationship! When I have enough money (rarely excess) there is no time to do anything with it. No days off/vacation time to go anywhere. No time away from obligation to shop or enjoy recreation. . . And if there is brief, hard-fought time–there’s always guilt and worry associated with it. Who will be mad at me and make my life miserable for the next 5 months? How much work will they leave for when I’m back? How behind will we be? It really sucks a lot of the fun out of the getting away part.
But when there is time–I have no money. Or am terrified of spending what I do have, because you never know the money needs to last. . . You look for ways to make money, realize everything you own is not profitable to re-sell. How is it DVDs, books, clothes, even cars are so expensive to buy–but you practically have to give them away?! Not. Fair.
So now that I’m unemployed I need to change my mentality. I will not let fear or greed rule me. Worry will not eat at me. I’ll take action where I can, then just have faith when nothing else can be done. Stop wanting and pining because it’s torturous and depressing. I need to enjoy what I already have, nature, and intangible things like love. And appreciate what I already have. Which is really a lot. Secondly (twenty-secondly?), I need to compile and prioritize a list of what I do need and want. Then later, when I do have an income again, I get get the things at the top of the list.
Here, my wants: