My whole life I wanted to be a veterinarian. So when that didn’t pan out, after time and time again of putting fourth my best effort–I was lost. I didn’t know what to do with my life or what backup career I would chase.
And it took a lot of soul-searching and research to find an acceptable alternative–I just didn’t WANT to do anything that wasn’t animal related. But Audiology made the most sense. Sure, I didn’t love it in the same way and wasn’t excited about it like I was for animal work. But nothing came close. And it did spark my interest. And in Audiology I could help people like my dad. And there were a lot of great things about the career: A stable schedule, more 9-5PM healthcare, higher salary so I could fight only my undergrad degree costs.
So I went to Riverpoint for 2 years. And worked my A$$ off. I really earned that 4.0 and for once in my life, made working the 2nd priority, which 9 times out of 10, was HARD. I thought the grades would carry me into the next step of the program this time. I thought with that 4.0 GPA, no admissions would reject me again.
But grades weren’t all I had. I still participated in the extra-curriculars, volunteered, did extra for my program, observed professionals on my own time. I had good letters from people I worked to know. I even traveled out-of-state for the interview.
And I was 14th on the list. For a class of 12. So 2nd on the waiting list. Wait-listed AGAIN. And even though I knew from multiple experiences what that meant, and how much of a long shot the wait list is–there was a teeny bit of hope.
Not a lot, but enough that I didn’t make any non-reversible plans or huge life decisions. But in 40 minutes with the close of business hours, the wait list is over. I will not be joining the Audiology doctoral class in 10 days. I feel sad. Sad for wasting all that effort at Riverpoint–not to mention incurring even more student loan debt on an education I can’t use. And I’m relieved. Because 10 days to get ready for a rigorous program is not a lot. I didn’t have a loan for tuition, didn’t know how to make rent when students aren’t allowed off campus jobs, didn’t have books or a parking permit, and forgot far too many concepts and details of my hearing courses.
But mainly I feel lost again.
I’m not sure where to start over. I can’t really pay for more school after the big move, and I’ll probably never go back to a big university, because for me it just hasn’t been worth all the money. But what about a technical program? Community college? A job? And in what area?
So again I’m left with a lot of questions and no real direction. All I know is something has to happen soon.