I was scared I would never meet another
How would I see them, where would I go?
You were up front, easy
feared I’d always be alone
I lept at the chance at dating
the alternative at home
don’t flatter yourself
that’s why I gave you the time of day
I didn’t find you attractive
but you were nice, all the same
I wasn’t sexually active
and that’s why I didn’t throw you away
when you proved to be bad in bed
and also crazy
stalling out on coming, crying in the bedsheets
just another day
Your controlling behavior was something I didn’t get
I had no context
nothing to compare it with other than my parents
Had no idea you’re a subset
not everything goes this way
I am not weak or small
Tried to put on a brave face
I can handle it all!
Your domination was tiring
I wanted to be my own person
you wanted me helpless, admiring
but I’m also not a flake
I had no one to turn to
my secret weighed heavy
even now, you’re one of my worst mistakes
Now, I wish I had dated a bevy
just for comparisons sake
Treated me like a trophy
manipulated the truth
gaslighted me constantly
worst yet-you wasted my youth
The audacity to leave me
when everyone knows who was the prize
hurt my ego-how embarrassing
I should have left you, in my eyes
yet I stuck it out
because I’m good and loyal
I don’t want you to think otherwise or have a doubt
I never loved you, I was just stuck
I hope you know the truth
you suck
I barely liked you
thought you were ugly, but felt sorry that I did
the guilt from my raising and your manipulation kept me
If I could go back in time, I’d renig
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