Archive | April, 2021

Elephant in the Room: Emily’s Voice

27 Apr

The due known as the Indigo Girls are my besties. i mean they don’t know it–but they’ve been there for a lot of moments in my life. Nomads, Indians, and Saints at my first job. Become you when I was a lonely only child in a rural town slowly figuring out that I didn’t really connect with anyone. Come On Now Social when I was dipping a toe into politics. Shaming of the Sun my first year of college, alone in the dorm. Despite Our Differences when my mate and I went to Zoo-Tunes in Seattle. They (via their music) have been my support system for 2 decades. Many people, especially lesbians have much the same experience.

Which is why I feel very defensive for Emily’s voice. Criticism is creeping in. I would have said something in the Reddit group if I had seen the post before it was archived. People were saying:
Emily’s voice i,s worse/bad. They say it cracks, and that she can no longer hit/sustain notes.

I noticed something off some of the times (not all), but thought it was lack of breathe control from obesity, honestly. Emily had gotten very heavy there for awhile, and I just figured her overall fitness was impacting her singing–nothing irreversible.

BUT those people said they noticed it on a couple recent albums and at a concert, and would not be buying IG concert tickets.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Valid reasons not to buy concert tickets:

The artist is chronically late to concerts.

The artist always cancels shows.

The artist is so fucked up they only sing 2 songs.

The artist pukes on stage.

The artist molests you.

The artist falls to the ground on stage.

But seriously, fans of the Indigo Girls are not going to attend concerts because of a intermittent voice issue?!  Jesus, have some empathy and BE A FAN.

A voice can be iffy for any number of reasons ranging from the mundane to emergent (this list is not exhaustive):
-dairy
-alcohol
-weed
-tired/fatigue (both body & voice)
-cold/flu/Covid
-smoking
-screaming too much
-aging
-(early) Parkinson’s Disease
-many syndromes cause it
-stroke

Have a little empathy and loyalty! Emily (both IG) have been with us through thick and thin for over 35 years!
When your spouse burns dinner-you divorce them?
When your child gets in trouble at school-you put them up for adoption?

And the Indigo Girls PUT ON A SHOW! It’s not just the singing. It’s the commraderie, the activism, the community visibility. Anyone who has belted out Closer to Fine with everyone at a show knows the communal pride and excitement I’m talking about! Emily’s writing talent and musical ability is amazing–and that has not changed. There’s a lot more to a band than just hitting and sustaining notes.

Also, men seem to get away with aging voices, ruined voices and still sell albums and concert tickets. The Rolling Stones are OLD. And honestly, their voices suck at this point. But you don’t hear about that–they’re legends! Dave Matthews often has problems, and his voice has degraded, but he still sells out 3 shows at The Gorge. Every year. I could probably name 100 men with iffy in the first place voices to major shimmer and jitter and degradation. Don’t hold women to different standards.

I wish Emily well with whatever is going on ❤

And fellow “fans” get it together! Show some loyalty for a band that has been there for you for ages >:-/

IG Catalogue Ranking-post its (same order, different formatting)

26 Apr

I did this project while working.  As such, I just ranked the songs on that post-it app on my desktop.  So if this is easier for you to read than the bottom to top list of songs–here ya go!

IG Awesomes
1= elite awesome
1a top ever songs
1b = exactly elite
1c = better than your avg awesome
2= solid awesome
2a = top of list
2b = bottom of list
3 = better than good
3a = top of list
3b = bottom of list

IG AWESOME-ELITE 1
1A top of the top (final)
Closer to Fine (1200): C, L, N, S(!), U (pennywhistle?) = 1a (b/c you can hear how important/popular this song is w/the crowd = pure joy & a lesbian initiation)
Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright (SDtBD): C, L, N (harmonies), S, U (Brandi!) = 1a (this song makes me super-enthuastic!)
Watershed (NIS): C, L, N, S(!) = 1a
Go (LwUoCSO): C, I, L, N, P = 1A (Amy belts it out!)
The Rise of the Black Messiah (OLD): C, I, L, N, P, U (strong & haunting) =1a
Galileo (RoP): C, L, P, S = 1a (same with this old friend-felt guilt out-ranking it)
Fill It Up Again (AtWLI); C, L, N, S = 1a
Kid Fears (ST): C, L, N, S, U (feat Michael Stipe) =1a
Closer to Fine (ST); C, L, N, S = 1a (I felt like I was somehow betraying these staple-favorites ranking any song higher)
Pushing the Needle Too Far (NIS): C, L, P, S = 1a
Prince of Darkness (ST): C, L, N, P, S =1a
Second Time Around (SDtBD): C, I, L, P, S, U (live = more emotional) 1A
Become You (BY): C, I, L, P, S = 1a
Compromise (LwUoCSO): C, I, N = 1a

AWESOME-ELITE
1B (exactly elite)
top exactly elite = i (final)
Galileo (1200): C, L, P, S = 1bi
Kid Fears (SDtBD): C, L, S, U (feat Shreena Mead sounds good) = 1bi
Moment of Forgiveness (SDtBD): C, L, N, S = 1bi
Yield (BY): C, I, L, N, S = 1bi
Hammer and a Nail (NIS): C, L, N, P, S! = 1bi
Chickenman (1200): C, I, L, N, P, U (harmonica= 1bi (best version?
Become You (SDtBD); C, L, P, S, U (accordian?) = 1bi
Yoke (BQS): C, I, L, P, S = 1bi
Moment of Forgiveness (BY): C, L, N, S =1bi
World Falls (1200-live): C, L, N, S = 1bi
Happy in the Sorrow Key (OLD): C, I, L, N = 2Bii (ENDING!)
Happy Joyous Hanukkah (HHD): C, I (BASS!), L, P, U (mandolin?) = 1Bi
Devotion (SDtBD): C, L, N = 1bi
I Feel the Christmas Spirit (HHD): C, I, L, N, U (blue grass) = 1bii

AWESOME-ELITE
1B (exactly elite)
bottom exactly elite = ii (final)
Tangled Up In Blue (1200); C, I, L, N, P = 1bii (Emily sings her ASS off!)
Pushing the Needle Too Far (1200): C, L, P, S = 1bii
Second Time Around (PatBB): C, I, L, P, S, U (harmonica?) = 1Bii
Go (CoNS): C, I, L, N, P, U (talking about activism in background, chanting) = 1Bii
World Falls (LwUoCSO): C, I, L, N!, P = 1bii (sounds just different enough; the singing!)
Land of Cannan (ST): C, I, L, S = 1bii
Least Complicated (1200): C, L, N, P, S = 1bii
Deconstruction (BY): C, L!, N, S! = 1bii
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (1200-live @ atwood): C, L, N, P, U (feat artists, drumming) = 1bii
Money Made You Mean (DOD-live): C, I (banjo-wow!), L, P = 1bii (don’t like plosives)
Cold Beer & Remote Control (SDtBD): C, L, N, P = 1
Love of Our Lives (PatBB): C, L, N, S = 1bii
Joking (1200): C, I, (bass @ end) L, N, P, S, U (false ending) = 1bii
Fugitive (LwUoCSO): C, I, N = 1bii

AWESOME-ELITE
1C (better than your avg awesome) (final)
Hope Alone (BY): C, L, N, S =1c
Last Tears (DOD: C, L, N, S = 1c
Philosophy of Loss (CoNS): C, I, L, P, S = 1c
Heartache for Everyone (AtWLI): C, I, L, S = 1c
Shame On You (SotS): C, L, N, P, S, U (road block trippin’ break-down) = 1c1
Scooter Boys (SotS): C, I (jengling) L, P, U (wail) = 1c
Shit Kickin (LL): C, I, L, P, U (choral backing) = 1c
Go (SDtBD): C, I, L, N, P = 1C
Howl at the Moon (LL): C, I, L, N, U (tribal) = 1c
Get Out the Map (SDtBD): C, L, N, P = 1c
Salty South (SDoBD): C, I, S = 1c
Rock and Roll Heaven’s Gate (SDtBD): C, L, N, P =1C
Land of Cannan (SF): C, L, N, S, U (harmonica) = 1c
Make It Easier (SF): C, I, L, N, P = 1c
The Wonder Song (HHD): C, L, N, U (country) = 1C
Second Time Around (PatBB-acoustic): C, L, P 1C
Shame On You (SDtBD): C, I, P, U (cajin instrument) =1c2 (different tempo from orig bothers me)
Money Made You Mean (DOD): C, I, L, P = 1c

see other post it for lower awesome groups

between awesome and good
final
1,2,3 (NIS): C, N, S = 2a
Blood & Fire (ST): C, L, N, P, S = a1i
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (1200): C, I, L, P = 2a (a cause near to my heart)
Chickenman (LwUoCSO): C, I!, L, N!, P = 2a
Tether (SDtBD): C, I, L, P = a1i (Amy belts. it. out!)
Sugar Tongue (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, P = a1i
Yoke (LwtUoCSO); C, I, L, N, P = a1i (wow-low register!)

final
You and Me of the 10,000 Wars (NIS): C, L, P, S = a1i
Hand Me Downs (NIS): C, I, L, S = 2b
Driver Education (PatBB): C, L, S = 2a
Cold Beer & Remote Control (CoNS): C, L, P, S! = 2a
Joking (RoP): C, L, P, S, U (false ending) = 2a
Collecting You (BY): C, L, N, S! = a1i
Philosophy of Loss (CoNS): C, L, P, S = a1
Fugative (SDtBD): C, L, N, Pa= 1i

final
Heartache for Everyone (SDtBD): C, L = 2b
It’s Alright (SotS): C, L, P, S = 2b
Get Out the Map (SotS): C, L, N, P, U (banjo?) = 2b
Kid Fears (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, N = a1i (crowd singing)
Midnight Train to Georgia (1200): C, L, N, P = a1i (Emily really sings!)
Sugar Tongue (SDtBD); C, N = 2a
O Holy Night (HHD): C, I, N, S = a1i (high difficulty notes)
Our Deliverance (BY); C, L, N, P, S = a1i
Rock and Roll Heaven’s Gate (DOD): C, L, N, P = a1i
Fill It Up Again (SDtBD); C, L, S = 2a ( a bit different from my fave version, audience sings)
Faye Tucker (CoNS): C, L, N, P, U (laugh, chanting) = 2b
Center Stage (ST): I, L, N, P = a1i (ending)

final
All the Way(DOD): C, L, S! = 2a (strong vocab, meaningful to me)
I’ll Change (PatBB): C, L, S = 2b
Believe in Love (SDtBD): C, I, L, N = a1i
Burn All the Letters (SotS): C, I, L, N, P, U (powwow chant) = a1i
Land of Cannan-radio single (ST): C, I, L, N, P, S = a1i
Love’s Recovery (ST): C, L, N, S = (don’t like Emily’s deep singing) = 3

final
Dairy Queen (AtWLI): C, I, S! = 2b
Olympia Inn (OLD): C, P = 2B
Learned It On Me (OLD): C, L, N (harmonies) = 2b (yes! a burn-song)
Favorite Flavor (LL): C, L = 3
Little Perennials (DOD): C, L = 1C
Love of Our Lives (LwtUoCSO): C, I!, L, N = a1i
This Train Revised (1200-live): C, I, N = 2b

final
Touch Me Fall (SO): I (really rocks at end) = 2b
I Don’t Wanna Know (1200); C, I, L, N = a1i (more lively version, “I don’t care either!”)
I Believe in Love (DOD): C, L!, S = 2b
I Don’t Wanna Know (SF): C, I, N, U (harmonica?) = 2b
Run (DOD): C = 2b

final
Chickenman (RoP): C, L, P, U (harmonica?) = 2b
Last Tears-acoustic (DOD): C, L, N, S = a1i
Least Complicated (SO): C, L, N, P, S = 2a
Beauty Queen Sister (BQS): C, I, L, P = a1i

ig good
a= almost awesome
b= exactly good
c= almost OK
1 = top of catagory
2 = bottom of catagory
i = top of almost awesome
ii = bottom of almost awesome

a= almost awesome
1 = top of catagory
see different post it for higher goods group

a= almost awesome
1 = top of catagory
ii = bottom of almost awesome (final)
Closer to Fine (SDtBD): C, I, L, N, P, S = a1ii
World Falls (NIS): C, L, N, P, S = a1ii
Secure Yourself (ST): C, L, N, P, S = a1ii
Faye Tucker (CoNS): C, I, L, N, P = a1ii
Fugative (SO) = C, L, N, P = a1ii
Tried to be True (ST); C, L, S = a1ii
Happy in the Sorrow Key (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, N, P = A1ii
Cut it OUt (SotS): C, I, L, P = a1ii
You’ve Got to Show (BY): C, L, S = a1ii
Three County Highway-live (DOD): C, L, N, P = a1ii
Damo (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, N, P = a1ii
Lay My Head Down (DOD); C, L, N, P = a1ii
Airplane (RoP): C, L, N = a1ii
Little Perennials-live (DOD): C, I, N = a1ii
Angels We Have Heard On High (HHD): C, N, S = a1ii

a= almost awesome
2 = bottom of catagory
i = top of almost awesome (final)
Welcome Me (NIS): C, I, L, P, S = a2i
Galileo (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, N, P = AIi (good, but I like original better)
Tether (AtWLI): C, I, L, N, P = a2i
Able to Sing (LwtUoCSO): C, I!, L, N = a2i
Sugar Tongue (PatBB): C, L, P, S = a2i
Shed Your Skin (SofS): I, L, N, P, U (native american backing) = a2i
Starkville (BY); C, I, L, S = a2i
Southland in the Springtime (NIS): C, L, S = a2i
Pendulum Swinger (DOD): C, L, N, P = a2i
Gone Again (CoNS): C, I, L, P = a2i
Strange Fire (SF): C, I, L, N = a2i
Three County Highway (SDtBD): C, L, N = a2i
Love of Our Lives-acoustic (PatBB): C, L, N = a2ii (stronger singing)
Making Promises (BQS); C, L = a2i
Watershed (SDtBD): = C, I, L, N, S = a2i (5d, live singing = less)
Damo (BQS): C, I, L, N = a2i

a= almost awesome
2 = bottom of catagory
ii = bottom of almost awesome (final)

They Won’t Have Me (DOD): C, I, L, P = a2ii
Trouble (CoNS): C, I, L, N, P = a2ii
This Train Revised (SO); C, I, L, N, P = a2i
Free in You (AtWLI): C, N = A2i
Leeds (SotS): C, L, P, U (Indian chanting) = a2ii
Let it be Me (RoP): C, N, P = a2ii
Three Hits (RoP): C, I, N, P = A2ii
Romeo and Juliet (RoP); C, L, N, P = a2ii
What Are You Like (PatBB): C = A2ii
Crazy Game (SF): N = a2ii (great harmonies, bluesy)

b= exactly good
1 = top of catagory (final)
Keeper of My Heart (NIS): C, L, P, S = b1
Woodsong (LwtUoCSO): C, I, N = b1
Down by the River (1200): C, I, N = b1
True Romantic (PatBB): C, L, N = b1
Love of Our Lives (SDtBD): C, L, N = b1
Ozilline (SDtBD): I, L, N = b1
Reunion (SO): C, I, L, N = b1
Ozilline (CoNS): C, I, L, U (old lady talking) = b1
Jonas and Ezekiel (RoP): C, I, L, P = b1
Jonas and Ezekiel (1200): C, L, N, P = b1
The Girl w/the Weight of the World in Her Hands (NIS); L, P, S = B1
Run (DOD): C, N = b1
K.C. Girl (LL): C, L, = b1

b= exactly good
2 = middle of catagory (final)
Fleet of Hope-acoustic (PatBB); C, L = b1
What Are You Like-acoustic (PatBB): C = B1
The Wood Song (SDtBD): C, N = b1
Your Holiday Song (HHD); C, I, L, N = b1
Muster (LL): L, P = b1
Elizabeth (OLD): L, N = B1 (DETAILED STORY)
Change My Heart (LL); I, N, P = b1 (kinda weird lyrics)
Mariner Moonlighting (BQS): L = b1

b= exactly good
3 = bottom of catagory (final)
Fly Away (SDtBD): C, L, N = b2
Come a Long Way (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, N = b2 (Uneven singing; ending!)
I’ll Change-acoustic (PatBB): C, L, S = b2
True Romantic-acoustic (PatBB): C, L, N = b2 (the yearning!)
War Rugs (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, N, P = b2
Perfect World (AtWLI): C, L, P = b2
Digging for Your Dream (PatBB) = C, L, P = b2
Nashville (RoP): C, L, P = b2
The Wood Song (SO): C, L, N = b2
Ghost of the Gang-acoustic (PatBB): L, P = b2 (substancial story)
Peace Tonight (CoNS): C, L = b2
We are Together (CoNS): C, N = b2
Wild Horses (SDtBD); C, N = b2
Sorrow and Joy (LL); N, P = b2 (WTF is this song about? I like the sentiment of the chorus)
Southern California is Your Girlffriend (OLD): C, L = b2
Dead Man’s Hill (SO): C, L, P = B2
Get Together (SF) = C, L, P = b2 (NICE HARMONY)

c= almost OK
1 = top of catagory (FINAL)
Digging for Your Dream (SDtBD): C, L, P = C1
Salty South-acoustic (PatBB): C, I, L, P = c1
Dirt and Dead Ends (DOD): L, P = C1 (BLEAK)
Spread the Pain Around (OLD): C, I, L = c (CAJUN SOUNDS)
Feel this WAy Again (LL): C, L = c1
Something Real (AtWLI): C, L, N = c1
It Really is (A Wonderful Life) (HHD): C, N = c1
I’ll Be Home for Christmas (HHD): I, N = c1
Come a Long Way (OLD): L = c1
Love Will Come to You (RoP): C, L, N = c1
Walk Away (SF): C, I, N = c1

c= almost OK
2 = bottom of catagory (FINAL)
Love’s Recovery (1200): C, L = c2 (too much brass)
Thin Line (1200): c2
Ghost (RoP); C, I, L, N, P = c2
Country RAdio (LL): L, N, P = c2
Gone (BQS): C, N = c2
Back Together Again (1200): C = c2
Everybody’s Waiting for Someone to Come Home (SF): C, N = c2
Alberta (OLD): C, L = c2

IG OK (A[1,2], B, C)

IG OK
OA
1 (final)
Prince of Darkness (SDtBD): C, N, P, S = OA1
Compromise (CoNS): C, I, L, N, P = OA1
Three Hits-live (RoP): C, I, L, P = OA1
War Rugs (BQS): C, I, L, P = OA1 (instruments!)
What are You Like (SDtBD); C, I, L = OA1 (end!)
Pendulum Swinger-live (DOD): C, L, P = OA1
Virginia Woolf (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, N = OA1 (some of the singing a bit iffy, instruments good!)
Rise Up (AtWLI): C = OA1
Bitterroot (BY): C =OA1
Three County Highway (DOD): L, S = OA1
Ghost of the Gang (PatBB); C, L, P = OA1
We Get to Feel it All (BQS); C, I, L, N = OA1

IG OK
OA
2 (final)

Fleet of Hope (PatBB): C, L = OA2 (harmonies even stronger than usual)
Driver Education-acoustic (PatBB); C, L, P = OB1
Ghost (LwtUoCSO): I, L, N = OA1
In the Bleak Midwinter (HHD): I, N = OA1 (original; harmonies!)
Don’t Give that Girl a Gun (SotS): C, L, N, P = OA2
Caramia (SotS): C, I, L, N = OA2
She’s Saving Me (BY); L, N, S = OA2
Come On Home (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, N = OA2
Share the Moon (BQS): C, I, L = OA2 (pretty strings)

IG OK
OB
1 (final)
Sugar Tongue-acoustic (PatBB): C, L = OB1
Crazy Game (SF): C, N = oa2 (kinda bluesy & has flute?)
Sister (CoNS): L = (too quiet) = OB1
Dirt and Dead Ends (PatBB): L, N, P =ob1
Fly Away-acoustic (DOD): L, N =OB1
Virginia Woolf (1200); C, L, N = OB1
Digging for Your Dream-acoustic (PatBB): C, L, P = OB1

IG OK (final)
OB
2
Center Stage-live (ST): C, L, P = OB2 (little off-key)
Come On Home (SDtBD): C, L = ob2
Everything in it’s Own Time (SotS): C, I, L, P = OB2
Ghost-live (1200): L, N = OB2
I’ll Be Home for Christmas (HHD); N, S = OB1
Cordova (SDtBD): C, L = OB2
Fishtails (OLD): L, N, P = OB2
Soon be to Nothing (CoNS); C, L =ob2
Virginia Woolf (RoP): C, L = OB2

IG OK (final)
OC
1
Fly Away (DOD): C, L, N, P = OC1
Power of Two (SO); L = OC1
All That We Let In (AtWLI): C, L = OC1
If I Don’t Leave Here Now (OLD): N = OC1 (more in depth)
Hey Kind Friend (SotS): I, L = OC2
Look Long (LL): C, L, N, P = OB2
Language or the Kiss (1200): L, N = OC1

IG OK (final)
OC
2
Language or the Kiss (SO); L, U (bike bell) = OC2
Love Will Come to You-live (RoP): L = OC2
Mystery (SO): L, N = OC2
Closer to Fine (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, P = OC2 (Emily sounds out of breath; slow)
Texas was Clean (OLD): L = oc2
Findly, Ohio 1968 (OLD); L, P = OC2 (slow & depressisng)

Entire Indigo Girls Album Catalogue Ranked

25 Apr

I actually started this catalogue-ranking prior to my Taylor Swift ranking. It just took much longer, because the Indigo Girls have an enormous body of work! I started around December off and on, then January-March, all of first quarter. Then, formatted the list for almost a whole month. So I’ll link the methodology I used for Taylor Swift (and every ranking project) here:

As for the categories, enjoy them if that’s your thing, ignore them if it’s not. The list is from my least favorite song to my very favorite song. Oh, and I included most of the legit albums, including lives and repeated songs, except a very redundant live (Retrospective) and a short EP (I think, those are the ones I skipped, I’m too lazy after all this work to Google).

Here’s what the letters stand for:

(C)ATCHY
(I)NSTRUMENTALS-extra
(L)YRICS
(N)OTES-super high or low or complex
(P)OLITICAL MESSAGE
(S)ENTIMENTAL
(U)NIQUE

Without further adieu: Here is the catalogue of my long-term favorite music group–The Indigo Girls!

Skips:

Skip-dislike; skip-boring

Skip:  Last place song:

-Fare Thee Well (SO):

Skip-dislike

-History of Us (ST):  L, N

-Left Me a Fool (SF):  L

Skip

-Sister (CoNS):  C, L

Skip-Boring

-Birthday (BQS):  N

Best skip:

-Feed & Water the Horses (BQS):

Meh:

Last meh:  -Mystery (1200):  L, N

-When We Were Writers (LL):  N

-Andy (CoNS):  L, N

-Power of Two (1200):  L, N

-Power of Two (LwtUoCSO):  I, L, N

-Cedar Tree (RoP):  I, N, U (bag pipe sounding)

-There’s Still My Joy (HHD):  L, N

-Peace Child (HHD):  C, L, N

-John (BQS):  L, N, P

-Mistletoe (HHD):  C, L

-Cordova (AtWLI):  C, L, N, P

-Neuvose Senorita (BY):  L, P

-Mystery (LwtUoCSO): I, N

-Able to Sing (BQS):  C, N

-Dead Man’s Hill (1200):  N, P

-Come On Home (AtWLI):  C, L

Best meh:  -Strange Fire (1200):  C, I, L, P

IG OK = neutral songs

A = top of OK [1 =higher part of OK-A; 2 = lower part of OK-A]

B = exactly OK

C = lower OK [1 = higher part of OK-C; 2 = lower part of OK-C]

IG OK:

OC-3rd rank of the OK group

2-bottom of the OK-C group

Worst OK2:  –Findly, Ohio 1968 (OLD);  L, P = OC2 (slow & depressisng)

-Texas was Clean (OLD):  L = oc2 

-Closer to Fine (LwtUoCSO):  C, I, L, P  = OC2 (Emily sounds out of breath; slow)

-Mystery (SO):  L, N = OC2

-Love Will Come to You-live (RoP):  L = OC2

Best OK2:  -Language or the Kiss (SO);  L, U (bike bell) = OC2

IG OK:

OC-3rd ranked of OK group

1-top of OC group

Worst OK-C-1:  -Language or the Kiss (1200):  L, N = OC1

-Look Long (LL):  C, L, N, P = OB2

-Hey Kind Friend (SotS):  I, L = OC2

-If I Don’t Leave Here Now (OLD):  N = OC1 (more in depth)

-All That We Let In (AtWLI):  C, L = OC1

-Power of Two (SO);  L = OC1

Best OK-C-1:  -Fly Away (DOD):  C, L, N, P = OC1

IG OK 

OB-2nd ranked of OK group

2-bottom of OB group

Last OK-B-2:  -Virginia Woolf (RoP):  C, L = OB2

-Soon be to Nothing (CoNS);  C, L =ob2

-Fishtails (OLD):  L, N, P = OB2

-Cordova (SDtBD):  C, L = OB2

-I’ll Be Home for Christmas (HHD);  N, S = OB1

-Ghost-live (1200):  L, N = OB2

-Everything in it’s Own Time (SotS):  C, I, L, P = OB2

-Come On Home (SDtBD):  C, L = ob2

Best OK-B-2:  -Center Stage-live (ST):  C, L, P = OB2 (little off-key)

IG OK

OB-2nd ranked in OK group

1-top of OK-B group

Last OK-B-1:  -Digging for Your Dream-acoustic (PatBB):  C, L, P = OB1

-Virginia Woolf (1200);  C, L, N = OB1

-Fly Away-acoustic (DOD):  L, N =OB1

-Dirt and Dead Ends (PatBB):  L, N, P =ob1

-Sister (CoNS):  L = (too quiet) = OB1

-Crazy Game (SF):  C, N = oa2 (kinda bluesy & has flute?)

Best OK-B-1:  -Sugar Tongue-acoustic (PatBB):  C, L = OB1

IG OK

OA-top of OK group

2-bottom of OK-A group

Last OK-A-2:  -Share the Moon (BQS):  C, I, L = OA2 (pretty strings)

-Come On Home (LwtUoCSO):  C, I, L, N = OA2

-She’s Saving Me (BY);  L, N, S = OA2

-Caramia (SotS):  C, I, L, N = OA2

-Don’t Give that Girl a Gun (SotS):  C, L, N, P = OA2

-In the Bleak Midwinter (HHD):  I, N = OA1 (original; harmonies!)

-Ghost  (LwtUoCSO): I, L, N = OA1

-Driver Education-acoustic (PatBB);  C, L, P = OB1

Best of OK-A-2:  -Fleet of Hope (PatBB):  C, L = OA2 (harmonies even stronger than usual)

IG OK

OA-best of the OK group

1-top of the OK-A group

Last OK-A-1:  -We Get to Feel it All (BQS);  C, I, L, N = OA1

-Ghost of the Gang (PatBB);  C, L, P = OA1

-Three County Highway (DOD):  L, S = OA1

-Bitterroot (BY): C =OA1

-Rise Up (AtWLI):  C = OA1

-Virginia Woolf (LwtUoCSO):  C, I, L, N = OA1 (some of the singing a bit iffy, instruments good!)

-Pendulum Swinger-live (DOD):  C, L, P = OA1

-What are You Like (SDtBD);  C, I, L = OA1 (end!)

-War Rugs (BQS):  C, I, L, P = OA1 (instruments!)

-Three Hits-live (RoP):  C, I, L, P = OA1

-Compromise (CoNS):  C, I, L, N, P = OA1

Best of OK-A-1:  -Prince of Darkness (SDtBD):  C, N, P, S = OA1

IG Goods:

A = almost awesome, top of good

[1 = higher part of Good-A; 

i = top half Good-A-1; ii = bottom half Good-A-1

2 = lower part of Good-A]

B = exactly Good 

[1 = higher part of Good-B; 2 = middle of Good-B; 3 = lowest part of Good-B]

C = almost OK, lowest good list 

[1 = higher part of Good-C; 2 = lower part of Good-C]

Good- C= almost OK

2 = bottom of category

Last Good-C-2: -Alberta (OLD):  C, L = c2

-Everybody’s Waiting for Someone to Come Home (SF):  C, N = c2

-Back Together Again (1200):  C = c2

-Gone (BQS):  C, N = c2

-Country RAdio (LL): L, N, P = c2

-Ghost (RoP);  C, I, L, N, P = c2

-Thin Line (1200):  c2

Best Good-C-2:  –Love’s Recovery (1200):  C, L = c2 (too much brass)

Good

c= almost OK

1 = top of category 

Good-C-1 bottom song:  -Walk Away (SF):  C, I, N = c1

-Love Will Come to You (RoP):  C, L, N = c1

-Come a Long Way (OLD):  L = c1

-I’ll Be Home for Christmas (HHD):  I, N = c1

-It Really is (A Wonderful Life) (HHD):  C, N = c1

-Something Real (AtWLI):  C, L, N = c1

-Feel this WAy Again (LL):  C, L = c1

-Spread the Pain Around (OLD):  C, I, L = c (CAJUN SOUNDS)

-Dirt and Dead Ends (DOD):  L, P = C1 (BLEAK)

-Salty South-acoustic (PatBB):  C, I, L, P = c1

Best Good-C-1:  -Digging for Your Dream (SDtBD):  C, L, P = C1

Good

b= exactly good

3 = bottom of category 

Last Good-B-3:  -Get Together (SF) = C, L, P = b2 (NICE HARMONY)

-Dead Man’s Hill (SO):  C, L, P = B2

-Southern California is Your Girlfriend (OLD):  C, L = b2

-Sorrow and Joy (LL);  N, P = b2 (WTF is this song about? I like the sentiment of the chorus)

-Wild Horses (SDtBD);  C, N = b2

-We are Together (CoNS):  C, N = b2

-Peace Tonight (CoNS):  C, L = b2

-Ghost of the Gang-acoustic (PatBB):  L, P = b2 (substancial story)

-The Wood Song (SO):  C, L, N = b2

-Nashville (RoP):  C, L, P = b2

-Digging for Your Dream (PatBB) = C, L, P = b2

-Perfect World (AtWLI):  C, L, P = b2

-War Rugs (LwtUoCSO):  C, I, L, N, P = b2

-True Romantic-acoustic (PatBB):  C, L, N = b2 (the yearning!)

-I’ll Change-acoustic (PatBB): C, L, S =  b2

-Come a Long Way (LwtUoCSO):  C, I, L, N = b2 (Uneven singing; ending!)

Best Good-b-3:  -Fly Away (SDtBD):  C, L, N = b2

Good

b= exactly good

2 = middle of category

Last Good-b-2:  -Mariner Moonlighting (BQS):  L = b1

-Change My Heart (LL);  I, N, P = b1 (kinda weird lyrics)

-Elizabeth (OLD):  L, N = B1 (DETAILED STORY)

-Muster (LL):  L, P = b1

-Your Holiday Song (HHD);  C, I, L, N = b1

-The Wood Song (SDtBD):  C, N = b1

-What Are You Like-acoustic (PatBB):  C = B1

Best Good-b-2:  -Fleet of Hope-acoustic (PatBB);  C, L = b1

Good

b= exactly good

1 = top of category 

Bottom Good-b-1: -K.C. Girl (LL):  C, L, = b1

-Run (DOD):  C, N = b1

-The Girl w/the Weight of the World in Her Hands (NIS);  L, P, S = B1

-Jonas and Ezekiel (1200): C, L, N, P = b1

-Jonas and Ezekiel (RoP):  C, I, L, P = b1

-Ozilline (CoNS):  C, I, L, U (old lady talking) = b1

-Reunion (SO):  C, I, L, N = b1

-Ozilline (SDtBD):  I, L, N = b1

-Love of Our Lives (SDtBD):  C, L, N = b1

-True Romantic (PatBB):  C, L, N = b1

-Down by the River (1200):  C, I, N = b1

-Woodsong (LwtUoCSO):  C, I, N = b1

Best Good-b-1:  -Keeper of My Heart (NIS):  C, L, P, S = b1

Good

a= almost awesome

Last Good-almost awesome:  -Crazy Game (SF):  N = a2ii (great harmonies, bluesy)

-What Are You Like (PatBB):  C = A2ii

-Romeo and Juliet (RoP);  C, L, N, P = a2ii

-Three Hits (RoP):  C, I, N, P = A2ii

-Let it be Me (RoP): C, N, P = a2ii

-Leeds (SotS):  C, L, P, U (Indian chanting) = a2ii

-Free in You (AtWLI):  C, N = A2i

-This Train Revised (SO);  C, I, L, N, P = a2i

-Trouble (CoNS):  C, I, L, N, P = a2ii

Best Good-Almost Awesome:  -They Won’t Have Me (DOD):  C, I, L, P = a2ii

 Awesome 

A = Elite Awesomes

B = Average-Awesomes

Platinum [1 = top of platinum; 2 = bottom of platinum]

Gold

Silver [1 = top of silver; 2 = bottom of silver]

Bronze

C = Just Awesome [1 = higher part of Just Awesome; C-2 = lower part of Just Awesome]

Awesome-C-2 

Last A-C-2:  -Damo (BQS):  C, I, L, N = a2i

-Watershed (SDtBD):  = C, I, L, N, S = a2i (5d, live singing = less)

-Making Promises (BQS);  C, L = a2i

-Love of Our Lives-acoustic (PatBB): C, L, N = a2ii (stronger singing)

-Three County Highway (SDtBD):  C, L, N = a2i

-Strange Fire (SF):  C, I, L, N = a2i

-Gone Again (CoNS):  C, I, L, P = a2i

-Pendulum Swinger (DOD):  C, L, N, P = a2i

-Southland in the Springtime (NIS):  C, L, S = a2i

-Starkville (BY);  C, I, L, S = a2i

-Shed Your Skin (SofS):  I, L, N, P, U (native american backing) = a2i

-Sugar Tongue (PatBB):  C, L, P, S = a2i

-Able to Sing (LwtUoCSO):  C, I!, L, N = a2i

-Tether (AtWLI):  C, I, L, N, P = a2i

-Galileo (LwtUoCSO):  C, I, L, N, P = AIi (good, but I like original better)

First A-C-2:  -Welcome Me (NIS):  C, I, L, P, S = a2i

Awesome-C-1

Last A-C-1:  -Angels We Have Heard On High (HHD):  C, N, S = a1ii

-Little Perennials-live (DOD):  C, I, N = a1ii

-Airplane (RoP):  C, L, N = a1ii

-Lay My Head Down (DOD);  C, L, N, P = a1ii

-Damo (LwtUoCSO):  C, I, L, N, P = a1ii

-Three County Highway-live (DOD): C, L, N, P =  a1ii

-You’ve Got to Show (BY):  C, L, S = a1ii

-Cut it OUt (SotS):  C, I, L, P = a1ii

-Happy in the Sorrow Key (LwtUoCSO):  C, I, L, N, P = A1ii

-Tried to be True (ST);  C, L, S = a1ii

-Fugitive (SO) = C, L, N, P = a1ii

-Faye Tucker (CoNS):  C, I, L, N, P = a1ii

-Secure Yourself (ST): C, L, N, P, S = a1ii

-World Falls (NIS):  C, L, N, P, S = a1ii

First A-C-1:  -Closer to Fine (SDtBD):  C, I, L, N, P, S = a1ii

Average-Awesomes:

Platinum [1 = top of platinum; 2 = bottom of platinum]

Gold

Silver [1 = top of silver; 2 = bottom of silver]

Bronze

Last Avg-Awesome-Bronze:  -Beauty Queen Sister (BQS):  C, I, L, P = a1i

-Least Complicated (SO):  C, L, N, P, S = 2a

-Last Tears-acoustic (DOD): C, L, N, S = a1i

-Chickenman (RoP):  C, L, P, U (harmonica?) = 2b

-Run (DOD):  C = 2b

-I Don’t Wanna Know (SF):  C, I, N, U (harmonica?) = 2b

-I Believe in Love (DOD):  C, L!, S = 2b

-I Don’t Wanna Know (1200);  C, I, L, N = a1i (more lively version, “I don’t care either!”)

First Avg-Awesome-Bronze:  –Touch Me Fall (SO):  I (really rocks at end) = 2b

Last Silver Avg-Awesome-2:  –This Train Revised (1200-live):  C, I, N = 2b

-Love of Our Lives (LwtUoCSO):  C, I!, L, N = a1i

-Little Perennials (DOD):  C, L = 1C

-Favorite Flavor (LL):  C, L = 3  

-Learned It On Me (OLD):  C, L, N (harmonies) = 2b (yes!  a burn-song)

-Olympia Inn (OLD):  C, P = 2B

Top Silver Avg-Awesome-2:  –Dairy Queen (AtWLI):  C, I, S! = 2b

Last Silver Avg-Awesome-1:  –Love’s Recovery (ST):  C, L, N, S = (don’t like Emily’s deep singing) = 3

-Land of Cannan-radio single (ST):  C, I, L, N, P, S = a1i

-Burn All the Letters (SotS):  C, I, L, N, P, U (powwow chant) = a1i

-Believe in Love (SDtBD):  C, I, L, N = a1i

-I’ll Change (PatBB):  C, L, S = 2b

Top Silver Avg-Awesome-1:  -All the Way(DOD):  C, L, S! = 2a (strong vocab, meaningful to me)

Last Gold Avg-Awesome:  –Center Stage (ST):  I, L, N, P = a1i (ending)

-Faye Tucker (CoNS):  C, L, N, P, U (laugh, chanting) = 2b

-Fill It Up Again (SDtBD);  C, L, S = 2a ( a bit different from my fave version, audience sings)

-Rock and Roll Heaven’s Gate (DOD):  C, L, N, P = a1i

-Our Deliverance (BY);  C, L, N, P, S = a1i

-O Holy Night (HHD):  C, I, N, S = a1i (high difficulty notes)

-Sugar Tongue (SDtBD); C, N = 2a

-Midnight Train to Georgia (1200):  C, L, N, P = a1i (Emily really sings!)

-Kid Fears (LwtUoCSO): C, I, L, N = a1i (crowd singing)

-Get Out the Map (SotS):  C, L, N, P, U (banjo?) = 2b

-It’s Alright (SotS):  C, L, P, S = 2b

Top Gold Avg-Awesome:  -Heartache for Everyone (SDtBD):  C, L = 2b

Last Platinum Avg-awesome-2:  –Fugitive (SDtBD):  C, L, N, Pa= 1i

-Philosophy of Loss (CoNS):  C, L, P, S = a1

-Collecting You (BY):  C, L, N, S! = a1i

-Joking (RoP):  C, L, P, S, U (false ending) = 2a

-Cold Beer & Remote Control (CoNS):  C, L, P, S! = 2a

-Driver Education (PatBB): C, L, S = 2a

-Hand Me Downs (NIS):  C, I, L, S = 2b

Top Platinum Avg-awesome-2:  –You and Me of the 10,000 Wars (NIS):  C, L, P, S = a1i

Last Platinum Avg-awesome-1:  –Yoke (LwtUoCSO);  C, I, L, N, P = a1i (wow-low register!)

-Sugar Tongue (LwtUoCSO):  C, I, L, P = a1i

-Tether (SDtBD): C, I, L, P = a1i (Amy belts. it. out!)

-Chickenman (LwUoCSO):  C, I!, L, N!, P = 2a

-Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (1200):  C, I, L, P = 2a (a cause near to my heart)

-Blood & Fire (ST):  C, L, N, P, S = a1i

Top Platinum Avg-awesome-1:  -1,2,3 (NIS):  C, N, S = 2a

Awesome Elites:

A = Top-Elites

B = Exactly Awesome-Elite

1 = higher part of Awesome B; 2 = lower part of Awesome B

C = Better than your Average Awesome

AWESOME-ELITE

1C (better than your avg awesome) 

Last awesome-1C:  -Money Made You Mean (DOD):  C, I, L, P = 1c

-Shame On You (SDtBD):  C, I, P, U (cajun instrument) =1c2 (different tempo from orig bothers me)

-Second Time Around (PatBB-acoustic):  C, L, P 1C

-The Wonder Song (HHD):  C, L, N, U (country) = 1C

-Make It Easier (SF):  C, I, L, N, P = 1c

-Land of Cannan (SF): C, L, N, S, U (harmonica) = 1c

-Rock and Roll Heaven’s Gate (SDtBD):  C, L, N, P =1C

-Salty South (SDoBD):  C, I, S = 1c

-Get Out the Map (SDtBD):  C, L, N, P = 1c

-Howl at the Moon (LL):  C, I, L, N, U (tribal) = 1c

-Go (SDtBD):  C, I, L, N, P = 1C

-Shit Kickin (LL):  C, I, L, P, U (choral backing) = 1c

-Scooter Boys (SotS):  C, I (jengling) L, P, U (wail) = 1c

-Shame On You (SotS):  C, L, N, P, S, U (road block trippin’ break-down) = 1c1

-Heartache for Everyone (AtWLI):  C, I, L, S = 1c

-Philosophy of Loss (CoNS):  C, I, L, P, S = 1c

-Last Tears (DOD:  C, L, N, S = 1c

Top awesome 1C:  -Hope Alone (BY):  C, L, N, S =1c

AWESOME-ELITE 

1B (exactly elite)

bottom exactly elite = ii 

Last Awesome-elite-1Bii:  -Fugitive  (LwUoCSO): C, I, N = 1bii

-Joking (1200):  C, I, (bass @ end) L, N, P, S, U (false ending) = 1bii

-Love of Our Lives (PatBB):  C, L, N, S = 1bii

-Cold Beer & Remote Control (SDtBD):  C, L, N, P = 1

-Money Made You Mean (DOD-live):  C, I (banjo-wow!), L, P = 1bii (don’t like plosives)

-Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (1200-live @ atwood):  C, L, N, P, U (feat artists, drumming) = 1bii

-Deconstruction (BY):  C, L!, N, S! = 1bii

-Least Complicated (1200):  C, L, N, P, S = 1bii

-Land of Cannan (ST):  C, I, L, S = 1bii

-World Falls (LwUoCSO): C, I, L, N!, P = 1bii (sounds just different enough; the singing!)

-Go (CoNS):  C, I, L, N, P, U (talking about activism in background, chanting) = 1Bii

-Second Time Around (PatBB):  C, I, L, P, S, U (harmonica?) = 1Bii

-Pushing the Needle Too Far (1200):  C, L, P, S = 1bii

First awesome-elite-1Bii:  -Tangled Up In Blue (1200);  C, I, L, N, P = 1bii (Emily sings her ASS off!)

AWESOME-ELITE 

1B (exactly elite)

top exactly elite = i 

Last awesome-elite-1B-i:  -I Feel the Christmas Spirit (HHD):  C, I, L, N, U (blue grass) = 1bii

-Devotion (SDtBD):  C, L, N = 1bi

-Happy Joyous Hanukkah (HHD):  C, I (BASS!), L, P, U (mandolin?) = 1Bi

-Happy in the Sorrow Key (OLD):  C, I, L, N = 2Bii (ENDING!)

-World Falls (1200-live):  C, L, N, S = 1bi

-Moment of Forgiveness (BY):  C, L, N, S =1bi

-Yoke (BQS):  C, I, L, P, S = 1bi

-Become You (SDtBD);  C, L, P, S, U (accordian?) = 1bi

-Chickenman (1200):  C, I, L, N, P, U (harmonica= 1bi (best version?

-Hammer and a Nail (NIS):  C, L, N, P, S! = 1bi

-Yield (BY):  C, I, L, N, S = 1bi

-Moment of Forgiveness (SDtBD):  C, L, N, S = 1bi

-Kid Fears (SDtBD):  C, L, S, U (feat Shreena Mead sounds good) = 1bi

Top Awesome-Elite-1-B-i:  -Galileo (1200):  C, L, P, S = 1bi

IG AWESOME-ELITE 1

 1A top of the top 

Last awesome-elite-1A:  -Compromise (LwUoCSO):  C, I, N = 1a

-Become You (BY):  C, I, L, P, S = 1a

-Second Time Around (SDtBD):  C, I, L, P, S, U (live = more emotional) 1A

-Prince of Darkness (ST):  C, L, N, P, S =1a

-Pushing the Needle Too Far (NIS):  C, L, P, S = 1a

-Closer to Fine (ST);  C, L, N, S = 1a (I felt like I was somehow betraying these staple-favorites ranking any song higher)

-Kid Fears (ST):  C, L, N, S, U (feat Michael Stipe) =1a

-Fill It Up Again (AtWLI);  C, L, N, S = 1a

-Galileo (RoP):  C, L, P, S = 1a (same with this old friend-felt guilt out-ranking it)

-The Rise of the Black Messiah (OLD):  C, I, L, N, P, U (strong & haunting) =1a

-Go (LwUoCSO):  C, I, L, N, P = 1A (Amy belts it out!)

-Watershed (NIS):  C, L, N, S(!) = 1a

-Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright (SDtBD): C, L, N (harmonies), S, U (Brandi!) = 1a (this song makes me super-enthusiastic!)

***Very top of all IG songs:  -Closer to Fine (1200):  C, L, N, S(!), U (pennywhistle?) = 1a (b/c you can hear how important/popular this song is w/the crowd = pure joy & a lesbian initiation)

The Joker Film is All a Delusion

24 Apr

I think the only things that actually happened in the movie are: The Joker/Arthur was in an institution, he was in the apartment in Gotham on an out-patient basis, funding ran out as the social worker says, and he goes off his meds. Then Joker/Arthur sees a random lady that lives in the same apartment building, he formulates a whole relationship with her in his head, he goes to her apartment where she doesn’t know him aside from seeing him a couple of times in the apartment. We are not shown what he does in her apartment (probably something terrible) and we see him dancing in his apartment. We’ve seen him dance before, and it’s usually after murdering someone–it seems to be the only thing that gives him power and pleasure. In that scene, we also hear sirens and see police(?) lights. And I think he was taken back tothe asylum after he did something awful to the apartment “girlfriend.” The rest is fantasy/delusion, imagined in his mind.

The city of Gotham represents Arthur’s mind in this film. The trash is piling up, and rats are horrible. Graffiti is everywhere. Everything is dreary and muted-colors. It’s depression in city-form. There are random acts of violence. The city is what is happening, the mental illness causing depression and random violence, anger, within The Joker/Arthur. Everything we see in Gotham is ugly, and flat-colored. It’s how Arthur views the world.

Clues things are not as they seem:

The colors were my tip-off (I’ve seen Eyes Wide Shut, after all) . The movie spells out that the first late night show scene is a delusion. We seem him watching TV in the apartment, and there is a sudden, inexplicable cut to him sitting in the audience laughing. Everything is very vibrantly colored (to show it’s fantasy). The host’s reactions don’t make sense either-he calls Arthur up front and talks with him. Then we are abruptly back in the apartment. The movie just told us Arthur has delusions/fantasy so we can’t trust that what we’re shown is reality.

The girlfriend is also obviously a figment for much the same reasons. When she is smiling at him, laughing at his comedy, kissing him–the colors are vibrant again. Also, it’s non-sensical, given the plot.

Another easily deciphered delusion is the scene where Arthur slips undetected into the fundraiser. It doesn’t make sense that he can get past the barriers undetected–and that the door is unlocked. Also, once he’s inside the colors are very vibrant again.

The last easy scene to chalk up to delusion is the riot. Everybody is a clown-which is…weird. And the colors are vibrant. There is a pretty unbelievable car crash, which sets Arthur free, and everyone surrounds him chanting for him, rooting him on as a hero-he dances on top of the car… It’s all the fantasy in his own mind.

OK, the other scenes are a little trickier.

We know there is no real relationship with the apartment girlfriend, yet we see her sitting and watching Arthur’s stand-up, smiling and laughing. When we see her, and at the end of his set when we hear genuine audience laughter–it’s the vibrant colors, signaling those aspects are only in his mind. He did a set that was awkward, but there was no girlfriend, and nobody laughed.

The late night show (anything about it, other than the fact it’s on TV) is NOT real. Ala Requiem for a Dream, Arthur is sitting in his apartment (on an out-patient basis) watching TV and fantasizing. Much like the early, obvious fantasy. Arthur wishes he could be on the show, practicing how he would make his entrance, sit, and what he might say–that’s the only thing real about it. The rest is in his mind. When in the hospital room, Arthur just happens to see his comedy clip on TV, where the late night host is poking fun at him. Later, he gets a call inviting him to the show (does that sound realistic?). None of the scene really makes sense as reality. It’s not that usual for a late night host to invite someone they mocked to the show. When Arthur is in the dressing room–the colors are vibrant behind him. Before he goes on stage, the colors are really vibrant. Arthur makes a grand entrance, kissing the other guest in an unrealistic way. He offers that he killed the 3 subway douche-bags, and the interview continues… Another pretty unrealistic happening. Then, after some banter, Arthur blows the host’s head off on live TV. Then he is somewhere else, somehow able to leave despite murder. What actually happened was Arthur watched the late night show on TV, fantasized and practiced for being on it, then in his delusion he saw the host symbolizing his unreachable comedy dream, and also how society makes fun of him. The delusion ended in angry revenge killing.

The gun is not real. We can piece together that there’s actually no gun. Arthur shoots the gun accidently inside his apartment. The neighbors don’t The gun is used to kill the late night host–part of the revenge-fantasy. The gun is used to blow away the representatives of greed, arrogant, mean-bros. The gun is something the apartment girlfriend and Arthur share. It’s how they “meet” and a finger symbol they use repeatedly. I think the gun was created in his mind to feel a sense of empowerment. Arthur feels depressed and invisible, but when he holds the gun he feels power. But there is no actual gun.

And if the gun is not real, neither is the murder of the co-worker. That coworker was much larger-sized than him, yet we see Arthur lift him and bang his head into the wall. Arthur murdered him, and let the witness go… Then went on the late night show, no problem. Earlier we heard a neighbor tell Arthur to shut up when he was laughing one night, b/c they could hear easily through the wall. Which makes walking away from the murder implausible. The gun is a fantasy, which makes me believe the coworkers, or job did not exist either.

Think about it. Arthur has a history of being institutionalized, and his mental illness is obvious, but he goes to the children’s hospital to perform? We were shown that Arthur isn’t funny, or high-functioning, how would he get this gig? And the colors there are bright and white, very unnatural. His gun (which is part of the fantasy) gets discovered at the children’s hospital. The children’s hospital, the clown-job, the co-workers, the gun–are all a delusion. Arthur wishes badly to be a comedian, and fantasizes the whole scenario. But like the rest of the delusions, it devolves and ends in anger and violence. The co-worker who gave him the gun is a dick and double-crossed him to the boss. The boss is unsupportive and fires him. Arthur kills the coworker.

I also think Arthur has no actual relationship to Thomas or Bruce Wayne. Again, Arthur was watching TV and saw Thomas Wayne doing political promotion. He fantasized that Thomas was his father. We see the scene at the fundraiser (which we already decided was pure delusion) and Thomas punches Arthur. It is sudden that Arthur knows where the Waynes’ live and visits them. And he just so happens to see Bruce Wayne at the gate. Arthur is able to talk to Bruce and even touch his face?! They are in the same camel color outerwear, with a high collared white shirt. So Arthur and Bruce Wayne just happened to dress the same. Does this make sense? And he interacts with a mean Alfred through the gate. This scene is only a fantasy in Arthur’s mind. At the riot, a clown attacks Thomas Wayne and Bruce is left in the alley. But we know from other Batman source-materials that it wasn’t a clown who attacked Thomas Wayne leaving Bruce an orphan… I think again Arthur was in his apartment, saw Thomas on TV and had a delusion there was a personal relationship between them. And like the others, this fantasy ends in anger as well. Arthur sees Thomas Wayne as a political figure symbolizing toxic-capitalism, power to silence poor people, and how the city eats up the poor. It went from father-fantasy to an angry killing by someone adjacent to a riot he caused…

Here’s where it gets sketchy.

I think the mother is another fantasy. Her character is very one-dimensional. She is attributed to calling him happy (which is false), and she goes on and on about letters to Thomas Wayne. That’s pretty much all her character offers. The parts where his mother’s “letter” indicated Thomas Wayne was his father was part of the fantasy. In his mind, Arthur connects his fantasy relationship with a mother to the political figure he sees on TV. I think the file, stolen from the asylum is his real mother. But Arthur fantasized it was him and his mom against the world. He imagined they lived together and had a close, caring relationship. He wished he was caring for his mother. Another, tell, is when the police talk to his mother she has a very sudden stroke and is out of the picture. His mind took her completely out of the scene. The police are negative, but the mother-fantasy needs protected from them, so his mind created an ‘out’ for her. The scene with the file was partial-reality. We see the depressing, dreary colors of Arthur’s depression in front of him, when he talks to the asylum clerk. It’s natural he has a memory of being in the asylum, because we know he was committed there at least twice (maybe this scene was not linear, but a memory). When Arthur runs with the file, the colors are the vibrant ‘tell’ that the way he obtained the file is a delusion. So the contents of the file are the truth. In real life, his mother was very mentally ill-to the point of institutionalization. She had adopted him, and neglected him, and some boyfriend had beat him in the head (causing his laughing and other mental illness, which we know are real). When Arthur visits his mother at the hospital, we know it’s not reality, because the apartment girlfriend shows up there too. Also, the late night show featuring him just happens to be on the TV there… And like the other delusions, it devolved into anger. His own fantasy fell apart when he “discovered” in the letter his mom had been lying to him, the fantasy-mother crumbled in his mind. As such, Arthur smothered her.

This movie shows the inside of the Joker’s mind. The setting is actually symbolic of his mental state. Each character is his own fiction. Arthur is low-functioning, starving in his dank apartment. He does mundane things, like watch TV. Part of the time he is institutionalized. Arthur fantasizes that he’s connected to others. And he wishes he had a comedy career. He wants to feel empowered. Since he has none of those things, his mind creates them. But because of the mental illness, even his delusions crack and devolve, which always triggers anger and fantasy-violence.