Tag Archives: angry

Moments of 2015-Bad

31 Dec

I see today (New Years Eve) as a day for reflection.  And I can’t say I’m sorry 2015 is over.  It wasn’t terrible, I’ve had much worse years.  But it wasn’t what I wanted either.  I like to know where I’m going, and in 2015 I never did.  I didn’t know if I would continue with school, and I didn’t know where my career would take me.  In the past, I’ve been severely disappointed when career objectives didn’t pan out, but this time I felt a calmness and grace about the situation.  Still, there is a dissatisfaction.  And now I’m left to really contemplate what I want in life.  But that’s a story for tomorrow, New Years Day, a day for goals and new beginnings.  Today I’ll post a few blogs about worst moments in 2015.  Which isn’t just picking the scabs of wounds, it’s thinking and it’s learning.  Seeing the worst times allows me to rearrange the circumstances to make next year better.

And again, I’m posting for the sake of time and forgoing a lot of re-writes.  I’ll edit later (maybe).

12TH WORST TIME OF 2015:  -Bob, at my new job, introducing himself as the janitor.  Trying to be funny, but offending me.  Insinuating of course he was much better than a crummy janitor.  He’s some client services administrator–big deal.  When he didn’t know that janitorial had been my very last job, and my father had been a custodian for 20 or 30 years.  What a D-bag.

11.  -Human drama at the YMCA.  Deb being all weird toward me because ???  and holding a grudge.  The churchy gal acting like a bitch and treating me like a lowly janitor.  Just coldness and unnecessary drama from people with nothing to keep their minds busy.  It was stupid, but even though I wasn’t invested in the drama, I noticed it, and had to DEAL with it.  Lame.

10.  -Rusty’s doors remaining half open in the winter.  Primarily because it rendered my remote start useless.  And obviously I NEED that.  I hate being cold.  So much so, that I had bought my own remote start and fought for them to put it in my manual–which is a liability for them and usually against the rules.  And I had always loved starting the car from inside the warm building.  But now it set off the alarm, because the doors were open just enough. . .

9.  -The unwelcoming, frosty environment at MSCL for my first 7 months working there.  NOBODY acknowledged me, talked to me, or anything.  I felt awkward and alone.  Those duds and douche-bags were the WORST!  Here’s an example:  I walk in as a brand new employee–and nobody (even my boss)  says hello.  Or I sneeze–and nobody says bless you or anything.  It was as if I was invisible.  I guess it’s because they have high turn-over, and they were change-averse.  And because it’s a lab, so people don’t have great any social skills.  But it still made me feel like it was ME.  And that brought back horrible memories of veterinary social problems that plagued my work life previously.  I had wanted new beginnings and to turn a corner in a new field–and this was not the start I’d hoped for.

8.  -Not getting into the UU AuD program, despite getting the 4.0, having extracurriculars, and working very hard on my application.  Was it the gay-themed activities I put on my application?  Bad interview answers?  Being from out-of-state?  I really don’t have any idea, and I feel like I should be in there.  Easily.  But this is toward the bottom of my disappointments (and the top of this list) because I’ve grown as a person, through my veterinary sagas.  I had to future plan, which wasn’t cool.  I still don’t know what I will do career-wise, which is scary and reeks of failure.  But I didn’t totally fall apart this time.  I took it in stride.  I do wonder how in the heck I didn’t get in that class, because I feel like I really deserved it and would have done an excellent job.  But I’m putting it on to them, not beating myself up over it.  And I’m not sure it’s what I want anyway.  I’m very disillusioned by the costs of school.  And I haven’t gotten ANY return on my undergrad investment.  And the forums scared me off of audiology a little, because they said Hearing Instrument Specialists can do almost exactly the same job, with NO school.  And they probably get paid equal or MORE than actual audiologists.  Also people talked about it being kind of a dead-end career, that’s highly redundant.  And I didn’t know if paying for 4 more years would even be worth it in the end.  But I’m still undecided, and haven’t closed the audiology door all the way.  Perhaps being 14th for a class of 12 was actually a favor to me. . .

7.  -When my parents insisted I call Dad’s chiropractor’s son about getting IN at Costco audiology–NOW, at the same time I frantically trying to complete a heavy-duty YWCA-UT job application and get ready for work at my current job.  They get overwrought and crazy and over-emotional, then there’s nothing for me to say or do to stop that crazy-train.  Unless I do what they say, when they say it, things fall apart quickly.  The whole thing just reminded me of every other time my parents tried to control me.  And how they were probably disappointed in me.  And that’s how the big horribleness of 2007 Cabin-Mansion had really kicked off the first time, so I was scared there would be a big blow up and subsequent melt-down of the relationship we had worked so hard to forge.

6.  -The meeting where work reneged on the full-time schedule, hours, and pay we had negotiated 3 days prior.  I had finagled the best schedule for my weekends, sleep, and time with Cool.  Everyone at work had left the meeting satisfied and happy.   They got coverage on a Sunday, which had been difficult to secure, I got Fridays and Saturdays off and a late-start Wednesday.  It was absolutely perfect and I commended myself for taking a chance and asking.  But 2 days later, they called me back in and told me I’d have to take the legit schedule I had applied for.  Because a girl (previously a bitch to me) who had more seniority, and was better at the job wanted to work Sunday.  And trying to please everyone, instead of defending me and the schedule they had promised me, they gave it to her.  So I felt betrayed (again) and like I had a much worse schedule.  But I also felt trapped.  What else would I do?  I needed this job, or it was back to veterinary assisting.  So I had to just accept it and deal with–while being really angry, frustrated, and un-trusting toward management–and that bitch.

5.  -When Cool picked a fight just 2 days after my good knows of getting a full-time job.  Cutting short my celebration.  Depression strikes this time.  Out of nowhere, Cool knocks the figurative wind out of me by acting like a major jerk.  It was awful, because I had just talked to my proud parents and had been super-ecstatic about my new job, and Cool knocked me down to a miserable level.  I was really sad about it, because I’m ALWAYS supporting Cool and she just didn’t have it in her to even pretend to return the favor–her depressive episode made it all about her.  Again.  I wished she could be supportive and celebrate with me, but instead her bipolar and selfishness ruined it all.  The memory of my new job is still tarnished.

4.  -Getting stuck with all the moving logistics, work, and most of the payments, because Cool went manic and in so doing abandoned me in a time of stress and need.  Which was the WORST because moving sucks anyway.  And there is so much to do and plan, and so much heavy physical work.  It wasn’t fair and I felt alone and unsupported.  Mental illness is the WORST sometimes.  It’s hard not to blame Cool, and that’s not really what I signed up for.  Cleaning the Spokompton apartment by myself was awful.  It was messy and there was so, so, so much left to do.  And it wasn’t fun, and I felt resentful that Cool had already started her job and couldn’t come do her share of the work.  Especially when I was cleaning things SHE had messed up.  Driving Rusty, alone, and wanting to come home and relax very badly, after such a tiring trip and no sleep.  Then walking into a messy house full of manic shenanigans, with a Craigslist ill-fitting futon we hadn’t talked about.  And dealing with having to clean and reconfigure everything, while dealing with a belligerent, unreasonable, manic person.  It was BAD.

3.  -Finding out I was just PRN (after they promised me something different in my interview).  I had interviewed over the phone for the job.  They said I was technically applying for a PRN job, but soon, they were posting a job with more regular hours.  That job was the same duties, but it was a year of guaranteed hours.  This PRN job, which had been posted was 25 hours a week for training, but then was substitute only.  Not stable, and not really what I wanted.  So they hired me during my phone interview, but told me they would call me when (slow) HR got around to posting the year-long job.  Then, I was to apply for that to make the paperwork legit, and that job would be mine.  I waited for the call to tell me that year-job had been posted and to complete that application.  And waited.  When I finally got the phone call from MSCL, they were wanting me to pick a start date for the as-needed job.  And pretended not to remember promising me the more stable-year long job.  I had written it down!  And the way my supervisor acted was callous–and I knew she remembered, but had just reneged.  But I had to take the lessor job, because what else was I going to do?  I needed an income after moving to a new state.  And sure enough on my first day of work, I found out they had hired a coworkers daughter for MY year-long job.  Nepotism had been at play, and as usual I got screwed at work.

2.  -The fear-phobia really, of being offered a job at a veterinary specialty hospital.  I had a sense of dread and sick feeling.  I should have never applied to veterinary hospitals, because my resume is just BUILT for them.  But I was feeling a little insecure and desperate about my guarenteed training 25 hours per week becoming true, as-needed.  I HAVE to work a minimum of 25 hours just to meet my bills, and that was soon to end.  And it’s my policy to ALWAYS interview for the practice if one is offered.  And while I know my veterinary experience is a major advantage in that field, I didn’t anticipate them loving me quite so much and being offered a full-time position on the spot.  The trouble was, it did seem like the best case scenario veterinary medicine could offer.  It was ONLY speciality referrals.  It was the BEST veterinarians in the state.  The hospital hirarchy was set up so there was a legitimate office manager and head vet tech to answer to–not the impulses of vets.  There was a true support system and everyone was on the same learning curve and truely didn’t leave you alone to fail.  And they seemed nice.  And said they didn’t yell–and I believed them.  And the technology was AWESOME.  They really had it all, not just the Idexx lab and digital x-ray.  Like ALL the toys, including MRI, and anything else spectacular.  But I had just such bad memories.  And I knew the schedules and the overwork, and the under-pay.  All the pit-falls, that really, I could no longer live with.  And it’s not what I want in life.  And the delimma was feeling like I HAD to take it, because I really had nothing else to fall back on, but feeling STRESS at the prospect of taking it.  In the end, I made the very, very difficult decision on not going backwards.  It was really hard (and brave) leaving veterinary assisting jobs in the first place, and I had done it for good reasons.  I had to keep up that bravery even when times got tough.  So I declined, but left the door open.  And they liked me so well, that they said to call any time I wanted a job.

  1.  VERY WORST 2015 MOMENT:  Thinking Goose might have thrown a clot to the leg, and worrying about his impending death, and worse, knowing there wasn’t a lot I could do to prevent it.  He randomly fell off the couch twice, and didn’t have use of his back leg.  It was too short to be a seizure (maybe) but didn’t have the pain of a thrombosis.  But my reference point was when the screaming cats had been brought to the vet.  Maybe there were precursor incidents at home that hadn’t been painful, and had gone ignored by owners–I didn’t know.  So of course, I thought the worst.  And I remembered the vets at Cats Meow preparing owners if there were any heart abnormalities.  Telling them to just make the decision to euthanize now, before emotions were involved, because once the clot was thrown, prognosis was grave.  And I remember the cats coming in-just screaming in horrible pain.  And owners saying it happened out of nowhere.  One day, the cat was fine, the next down in back and just SCREAMING.  It was awful to imagine that for my Goose.  And it’s still in the back of my mind, because he is a Maine Coon and they are notorious for heart issues.  But I’m hoping he was just being a clumsy dink, since it’s only happened twice, and the episodes were brief.
Advertisements

“Myspace Alicia”

13 Oct

I’m going through the 2014 albums while I study to write my end-of-the-year music blogs.  I know!  I haven’t posted 2013’s yet–but I’m still working on it.  Anyway, I got to Imogen Heap, and it reminds me very much of Douche.

the usual

It has been forever since I’ve written about Douche–mostly b/c I hate to think of that creep.  Also, because I finally accepted some people are sociopaths–no matter how well you thought you knew them.  Imogen Heap actually reminds me of Myspace Alicia, some 19 year old girl Douche attached to.  Imogen was this girl’s favorite and I know that because I used to scour her Myspace profile trying to understand.

At the time, I didn’t get that people played games.  I was naive that an older person (Douche) would hook a 19 year old just to show off how “cute” of a gal could be secured.  I didn’t get that Douche was maybe trying to make me–the world–envious.  At the time, I only looked and looked trying to see what the 2 could possibly have in common. . .

I hate Douche-still do, I’ll never stop.  I didn’t deserve that treatment, and didn’t understand where it was coming from at that time.  I had no idea you could be close to someone for 3 years but not know them at all.  I didn’t know there were sociopaths that adapted their personality to what they thought you wanted–did want–in order to manipulate.  And I didn’t know the extent people could play games after a break-up.  BUT knowing Douche did teach me lessons:  Don’t date someone b/c you feel shallow for not being attracted to them, if something seems too good to be true-it probably is, not everyone is going to be honest with you, not everyone has your best interests at heart, some people are just not meant to be understood, sometimes you have to let people (or the memory of who they were supposed to be) go.

I wonder if Myspace Alicia felt the same way in the end that I did–that it was a fake and a trick.  I hope Douche got (and is still getting) all the bad karma that is deserved.  Though I have no idea where that crazy is or what that evil is up to currently–thank goodness…

I like the new album even if it takes me back to that chapter of my life a little.

Robbin’ His Family

12 Aug

Of course I loved Robin Williams–I’m human, aren’t I?  Just like everyone else bemoaning his death on Facebook, I grew up watching him.  Through his work, I feel like I know him.  He seemed accessible and friendly and he is one of the great talents of this age.  I grew up with his kid-friendly movies.  I love his HBO special and have watched it about a hundred times.  And I even like his dramatic roles.

I’m torn though.  I have a hard time just writing about his good work.  I can’t bring myself to post a colorance on Facebook, because I’m also angry at his selfishness.  I feel Robin Williams is a coward for committing suicide.  At 63 years old, he should have had a lot of life lift.  It’s senseless.  Especially when he has a family who will bare the brunt of his decision and be left to deal with everything without him.

I realize depression is serious.  Having a bipolar mate, I do not take depression lightly.  At the same time I cannot condone making a permanent decision for a temporary problem.  I wish he would have waited a little longer for the help he needed, meds to kick in, life to calm down–whatever needed to happen.  Because you CAN come out of a depression–you can’t un-do asphyxiation.

But I feel sad for the pain Robin Williams felt, and angry he didn’t feel there was any other recourse.  He was loved by many, and I wish he would have trusted them to step up and help in his time of need.  Alas, I wish his family the best, and hope they are able to adjust to life without him.  He was a great entertainer and his humor will be missed.

I Hope People Like This Are Made to SUFFER

7 Aug

I have to hope their will be some sort of justice, or else the sadness for animals and anger toward cruel, careless, ignorant, and irresponsible people will really eat me alive.

suckers

It hurts my heart how terrible some people are.  The downstairs neighbors moved out last week (were evicted for non-payment of rent, actually) and just left their cat and kitten outside in 90+F temps to fend for themselves.

Laurel's pics 614I actually think I became a little desensitized while a veterinary worker, because we saw this kind of thing constantly.  Don’t get me wrong, you still don’t like it, don’t want to see it, and it makes you sad and angry.  But like viewing increasingly violent movies frequently, it begins to affect you just a little less over time.  It has to or you’ll break–anyone with a conscience would.  But you do what you can do, and you have to look at the bigger picture.

A lot of people don’t know any better.  Or they’re selfish, irresponsible, or see animals as an object/property and treat them accordingly.  Some people knowingly do the wrong thing.  Some people are even so ornery as to hold your heart hostage as a way to get discounts–it’s disgusting.  You start to see and hear it all.  And if you let it get to you, it will really make you depressed or angry at all of humanity.  Also, you have to remember–I can’t save them all.  Because believe me, you want to.  But that can spiral into a bad situation too–so you do what you can with what you have to be able to sleep at night.

Also, when working at a vet hospital you feel like your work counteracts a lot of that negative stuff.  There’s a lot that sucks, Alfred in a scarfbut you educated a client, you connected an abandoned pet to a wonderful new owner, you helped alleviate one (probably many) animal’s pain–you feel somewhat empowered by that.  When you’re not involved with a vet hospital, you’re fairly powerless to help.  Now that I’ve been away from it, even briefly (5 months) it really breaks my heart to think about those poor buddies.  I don’t see it and hear it all day long anymore, so the pain feels a lot worse to me right now–and there’s a lot less I can do.  I mean, I’m preoccupied feeling sad for them.

The thing is, I saw and petted the kitties outside almost every day when I came and went to work, but thought they lived around here.  Some people intentionally let their cats outdoors–even in an bengal 2apartment/city situation.  I figured some dumb neighbor was letting the cats out.  I hoped the cats were obnoxiously scratching to go outside and finally the owner relented.  You have to tell yourself things to ease your mind.  So I worried about cars, dogs, and mean people, but thought they seemed like they belonged here so obviously had a home.  Just the same, I wanted to confirm it, so after a week of reminders, Cool finally asked our landlord if she knew their story.  And she said they’d been abandoned.  It made me feel truly awful.  I feel terrible and guilty especially since I had been a little apathetic while meanwhile the cats were cooking in the weather, starving, and lonely.

Tomorrow I’m going to borrow crates from work so they can be transported to the shelter.  Of course I’m worried about their fate:  Will they be euthanized?  Will they get adopted?  Together?  Again, I just have to tell myself that things will work out beautifully.  Because what else can I do?  Other then treat my own 2 buddies with love and take responsible care of them.

As soon as I heard I went right outside with some dry kibble and a can of Fancy Feast.  The older cat was a little more kitty birthdaystandoffish, liked the canned (only within the tiny can), but turned up it’s nose to the diet food–chubby knew that story.  The kitten ate like it was starving, which maybe it was, but it could just eat like a piggy too.  Once it polished off the canned food, it went right to gobbling dry.  It ate so readily that I changed my mind about leaving the Cool Whip contained out for them for fear the kitten would eat the entire contents in the next 2 min, then have the big-D on rescue day.

So here’s to doing something!

 

My Newfound Hatred for Traffic Cameras

4 Aug

The City of SpoKompton royally pi$$ed me off today.  Like red-hot searing anger.  They mailed me a traffic ticket.  It seems that when I was coming home from work the other day, I was caught on camera making a right turn on red.  Without coming to a complete 3 sec stop.  There were time-stamped pictures, my license plate, and a video clearly showing I had broken the law.

And believe me, readers, do NOT comment on this post that I was in the wrong so I should indeed have to pay the $124 ticket.  I will come unleashed.  I’m that belligerent about it.

Why I’m so mad:

-It was at 5:12 in the morning.

-There was NO other traffic.  Even the video showed I approached a clear intersection, slowed down, turned, and what followed was a clear intersection.

-You could also see in the video clear crosswalks and sidewalks = no pedestrians.

-Not know the letter of the law is not an excuse, but puh-leeze.

-I think the law needs to change to make sense.  When nobody is there are you’re making a right–why force a 3 sec stop?

-I could see paying a ticket in the very maximum amount of $50.  I can understand that–and I would pay without fussing to the authorities (though you better believe I would fuss on here).  But charging me as if I blew through a whole intersection during a red light?  Nonsense.

-This particular intersection is notorious.  So much so that when I am driving during any sort of daylight hours, I take the (longer) back way–just because the scene is so terrible.  You see, I have to turn left from my residence–and there is no left turn arrow.  And the preceding stoplight of traffic going the opposite direction (coming toward this intersection) is timed so that just as this infamous intersection gets a green–the cars race up the road going straight.  Negating a left turn.  You could sit through 3 or 4 cycles (I have) before finally getting enough time and room to dart quickly to complete a left.  And I have–many times.  Most people that end up in the left turn lane inch into the middle of the intersection, then finally just go.  It’s either block the cross-traffic or run the yellow/red.  So they are forced to wait all day or go either on yellow, or after the light has already changed to red.  There are LEGIT failure to stops making it dangerous.  So DURING HOURS WHEN THERE’S TRAFFIC it’s a dangerous intersection.  BUT have they put in an arrow?  Do they place police there to watch?  Do they change the timing of the lights?  No!  They don’t really care.  Nothing changes to fix the problem and make notorious intersection any safer or user-friendly.  I’m mad about my ticket because the above factors tell me my ticket is not about safety, but money.

-I see way worse offenses go unticketed at this intersection then my right on red.

-They only give you 2.5 weeks to pay the full amount of money.

-What’s NOT to be mad about?

Here’s an article talking about how other people are also angry:

Rolling Right Turns

Rolling right turn violations have been proven to have very little effect on driver safety. In fact, a review of US Department of Transportation statistics shows that an average motorist could drive a billion miles — the distance from Earth to Jupiter and back — before being involved in an accident that resulted from a motorist making a right-turn-on-red. Even these few crashes involved failure to yield the right-of-way; previously stopping, or not stopping, were not the primary cause of these accidents.

Cities with ticket cameras sell the cameras to the public by explaining that they’ll help prevent right-angle crashes. However, the majority of tickets given out inevitably end up being for minor rolling-right-turn violations.

According to the LA Times, Los Angeles officials estimated that 80% of their red-light camera tickets are for rolling right turns. And according to the Chicago Daily Herald, rolling-right-turn violations have accounted for 90% of the tickets generated in several Illinois communities. These tickets are often given to drivers who actually stopped safely but were inches over the line.

Drivers have long interpreted the “Right Turn On Red” law to mean that they must yield to other traffic and to pedestrians before executing a right turn when they confront a red signal at an intersection [my emphasis]. As noted above, this interpretation has worked out extremely well from a safety and traffic movement perspective. Strict enforcement of provisions that require the driver to come to a complete stop, at a specific spot, did not occur until the advent of red-light ticket cameras.

Consequently, while almost all motorists observe the “yield the right-of-way” requirement, they do not always come to a complete stop before executing a right turn on red. National accident data clearly indicate that coming to a complete stop is not necessary, and possibly undesirable, if it causes rear-end collisions.

The NMA believes that the best course of action is to change the law so it is in sync with the way motorists successfully comply with the concept of “Right Turn On Red.” That means removing the requirement mandating coming to a complete stop and replacing it with language that further emphasizes a right turn on red can only be executed after yielding the right of way to all other vehicles and pedestrians. All states, not just those that permit the use of ticket cameras, should make this change in their Right Turn On Red law.

That’s what I’m sayin’!  And from another site:

At The Ticket Clinic, we have seen many red light camera tickets for making a right turn on red.  The red light camera laws state that a red light camera ticket cannot be issued if the driver makes the turn in a “careful and prudent” manner.  While Florida law requires the driver to come to a full stop and a police officer can issue a ticket in person if the driver does not come to a full stop, the red light camera tickets have a lower standard.  Yet, because of the vague language cities are taking a liberal reading of “careful and prudent” and issuing red light camera tickets if the driver does not come to a full stop.  Many individuals are unaware of this distinction between and chose to simply pay the red light camera ticket because they think they must be guilty.  But as long as a pedestrian, bike or oncoming car, a rolling stop when making a right on red that is made carefully should not be a citable offense.

But what to do?  Unfair, ridiculous or not–I have the ticket and I’m now responsible for it.

I was am also really stressed out because I absolutely cannot spare over a hundred dollars.  So I looked online trying to find a way out.  It was obviously my car based on the clear pictures and close-up license plate number.  I obviously did not stop for 3 sec before completing my right turn.  The video shows a red light.  So I did irrefutably break the (stupid, pointless–gerrrr) law.  There was a letter on the internet that Cool gave me that did get the charges dropped for someone two years ago:

To Whom it May Concern,
I received a letter claiming I committed a violation of a speeding law in the District of Columbia on 04/21/2012. As per the instructions, I am writing to plead ‘not guilty’ to this charge. Although this option is said to result in this matter going to court; it is my suggestion that the charges simply be dropped. This suggestion comes out of respect for tax payers, and my request that their hard earned money not be wasted in such proceedings. As there is no evidence of my involvement with this alleged ‘crime’, as well as the fact that I am not granted my 6th amendment right to face my ‘accuser’ (a camera); I see no way the government could prove my guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. I also see find no legal requirement for me to implicate someone else in this process, as it is the government’s responsibility to prove a person’s guilt. It is also my 5th amendment right to remain silent on the matter.
If it is the government’s decision to move forward in this matter, I would request copies of any evidence the prosecution may have of my involvement in the “offense”; as well as, all maintenance records for the camera(s) involved.
Sincerely,

But I thought the cities are now savvy to that.  They have proof in the form of 3 pictures, a video, time stamps. . .  I am desperate though, so I perused the internet further:

Argue the Reliability of the Camera

When in traffic court to fight the ticket, ask whether the camera was indeed working properly at the time it generated your ticket. Cameras are machines and they can malfunction. If the prosecution cannot decidedly prove that the camera was working properly, they do not have a solid case proving that you ran the red light. Also, those reviewing the pictures can make a mistake in deciding on the accuracy of the picture. Question if they are absolutely certain the picture proves that you ran the red light.

Witnesses at Trial

The red light camera manufacturer is supposed to appear at trials regarding red light traffic tickets. A representative from the camera company is there to testify whether the camera was working properly and when it was last maintained. If no one shows up to represent the camera company, you can argue that no one is there to verify whether the picture is accurate.

Hearsay

One can try arguing that the photograph is hearsay and is therefore inadmissible under the Sixth Amendment. It is hearsay because you cannot cross examine the photograph or the camera. The Sixth Amendment gives defendants the right to confront their accuser.

In summary, it is best to have a traffic attorney represent you. If you are not familiar with traffic law, you will not be able to mount your own defense in court. Without knowing the law or how to prepare a defense, you will likely lose your case.

This seemed like some good ideas, but I in no way want to go to court, but what other choice do I have, right?  So I looked at the evidence again and noticed you don’t see the driver in the pictures or video.  It can’t be proved that I was behind the wheel at this particular time.  So I’m going to try to fight it based on that, and hopefully I can avoid paying the city’s bills for them.

And because this is so stupid, expensive, and a huge pain in my a$$, I’m making some changes:

-I will avoid that intersection–even in the early morning hours when no people are around.

-I will vote down any legislation regarding use of traffic cameras.

-I will talk (more) trash about SpoKompton.

-I may or may not remember to fully stop for 3 seconds at any right turn regardless of the traffic/pedestrians even though it seems like complete over-kill and money-making schemes to me.

Don’t Mistake Me for Your “People” [prequel part A]

18 Jul

I don’t mind doing my job at work–or even going the going the extra mile. But I do not like when people (the vets) start to take advantage and cross the line.  Maybe I’ll do something nice, extra that’s personal.  But don’t expect personal favors all the time.  Or worse, reprimand me when I don’t deliver them.  And I have worked for some vets (few and far between) that actually maintain boundaries and do things for themselves, perhaps even jumping in to clean an exam table once in awhile.  That’s highly appreciated.  But the other side of the coin is highly offensive, and deserves a rant.  Here are 3 examples (though there are many more things):

grumpy

For instance, I am fine with doing laundry at work. And I will wash doctor coats or coworker’s scrubs. And I’ll dry them and hang them. But don’t expect me to check your pockets as if I’m your mother. MY mother didn’t even check my pockets as a child.  Be a big girl and take the pens out yourself.  And if I wash your badge–you shoulda removed it before throwing it in the laundry basket–your fault, not mine.  PS–if this happens repeatedly, get frustrated at yourself and what a slow learner you are.  It’s simple, if you don’t want it washed remove it prior to mixing your item in with all the ick-scum laundry.  An addition to laundry–don’t require me to lint roll personal items as if I’m your personal assistant.  I mean, writing it as a to-do item on the white board?!  Are you kidding me with that?  Yeah I did it:  Under “Lint roll jackets” I put and iron slacks and fetch dry cleaning?  ‘Cause, come on.  I’m not your fucking maid.  You’re lucky I even wash your personal clothes–I pay coin-op to wash my scrubs at home, just like every other employee.  Also, I just work here–as a (very, very busy) veterinary assistant, P.S.

And you can clean your own personal desk too.  THAT’s not my job.  And we both know if I misplaced something, threw it away, or something turned up missing/lost you would jump all over my case in a heart beat.  You don’t even like when I touch the files you’ve yet to write up–and that’s a legit part of my job!  I want NO responsibility over your personal stuff.  I don’t ask you to buss my table when I’m finished eating lunch (when I get one, that is) so don’t ask me expect/require me to organize your personal space.

A major pet-peeve of mine:  When people bring their pets to work [which I’m not a fan of b/c it’s distracting, takes up valuable space, and requires someone’s time], but don’t care for them, clean them, or clean the cage/kennel when they’re finished.  Yes, I do these things for paying CLIENTS.  That’s part of my job.  A job I’m doing the whole time I’m at work.  When employees and vets bring their pet–that’s out of my realm.  That takes away from the clients and animal care I’m supposed to be providing.  And your personal animal’s $hitty crate, like really messed up pooped and barfed on Vary kennel–that’s all YOU.  Don’t strategically leave it laying around all dirty, don’t wait 10 hours to address it–if you bring something in, come earlier then you’re supposed to be at work so you can handle all personal business before you have to clock in.  Once you’re at work, your time belongs to the business–so does mine.  You bring it in, you deal.  Especially when we are already busy, you didn’t put it on the schedule, and you bring in 3-4 animals every week.  Or daily.  Also, don’t expect us to take time away from hospitalized patients, emergencies, drop-off, and scheduled appointments during business time to take your (or your friend’s) pet’s vitals daily, do diagnostics, etc. . .  Surprise this is a business.  And surprise, surprise I’m NOT your slave–even though I work like one.

Just A Body [Prequel Bb]

7 Jul

That’s exactly how I feel in my line of work.  I suppose it’s common, and I am a lot better off then many.  Some jobs make no bones about not giving a crap about their employees what-so-ever.  But still.  It hurts.  And I don’t want it to.  I don’t want it to affect me at all.  This job is not my life or identity anymore.  This stint does not matter to my life.  That’s what I tell myself anyway.

–>I wrote most of this post in the past, but I’m posting it today–my birthday–because it’s relevant<–

And it continues on.  Because when I’m slighted, then I’m not willing to comment on THEIR personal lives either.  And that’s not the kind of person I want to be, but if you open yourself up and be the way you see yourself ideally–it just hurts more when they STILL don’t care.  And so I just go in and do my job.  So I’m sure they think it’s MY deal.  Which isn’t how I roll, or how I want to, just protection for myself.

And I have learned.  Before, I was devastated when the employers and co-workers I gave so much of my heart, my time, and my life to proved not to give a $hit about me.  Other then sucking every last drop of work out of me, that is.  Now I’m fully aware that these people only see me as a body to get the job done.  They don’t actually like my personality or care about me as a person.

-Birthdays.

kitty birthdayIt’s petty, and I don’t want to notice it or be angry–but I do.  Birthdays are important to me.  When I was turning 28, I would mention my birthday countdown throughout the entire year.  And nothing was said/done for my big day.  I just figured it was the age discrepancy–everyone at work was over 40.  So I thought it sucked, but at that time nobody said or did anything for anyone else.  And nobody else even really disclosed when their big day was.  And this year, nobody so much as gave me a verbal happy birthday for my big, milestone 30th birthday.  BUT the other tech was given balloons and dessert for hers.  The 2nd doctor that shys away from birthday attention, was fawned over and told by everybody happy birthday.  And this week, our receptionist got a cake and special apple cider for hers.  What happened, and why was I still the odd man out?  It’s telling.

-My really important talent show.

An event that was very meaningful to me.  Of course, nobody came even though I invited everybody.  But nobody even Laurel's pics 418wished me luck, asked me about it afterwards, or mentioned the dance itself–it’s on Facebook and YouTube.  I think that sucks, and even if you don’t give a crap–out of politeness alone, you inquire about the super-important things.  Instead those people spit on me.

-Safety.

It was only a matter of time.  I get to work early in the morning (like 30-75 min earlier than anyone else), when it is still dark outside, and our neighborhood is mostly quiet.  Usually, I park on a side-street.  I have no problem walking to the door–any exercise I can squeeze in my day is a good thing.  But someone started messing with Rusty (my car).  It happened on a Saturday morning.  And I know when someone tries to break in, because my alarm will tone three times on unlock instead of two, and the blue light will flash more.  I thought it was a huntsmenfluke and parked there Monday morning.  The alarm had gone off again.  I wondered if my alarm was broken or my doors weren’t closing properly or something.  So I paid close attention next time I locked up.

It didn’t happen at school.  And it never happened at home.  When I parked on that same side street Tuesday–it happened a third time.  So Wednesday, I moved to a different side-street.  Someone tampered with my car there too!  It was making me very nervous.  I felt like someone must be watching me in the morning.  Because it didn’t happen if it was light outside or when I pulled up in the middle of the day.  Was someone being a jerk and just messing with me?  Was someone actually trying to get into to my car?  And to do what?  Was that same person intending on robbing me?  Or worse?  I just didn’t know.  And when I parked on the main street, it didn’t occur.  So I began parking, in front of work–not in either of the two street-side spaces immediately adjacent to our driveway, but in a third.  I leave by 10AM so I figured it would be fine.  And no one messed with my car or me.  But this morning, my boss told me not to park there.  They don’t give a Fu(k about my well-being, and it infuriated me that instead of talking to the Douche who owns the store across the street who parks in our closest street-side spot (while his customers have there own marked 5 min parking spots), she makes me move.  If I get mugged, molested, or murdered walking farther in the dark, with some sinister person out there–at least our clients won’t have to walk far and my boss won’t have to have a confrontation with the neighbor. . .

Injury:

almost 10 hr post 3 editA coworker got bit–which is a very real, and frequent possibility of the job.  But instead of the doctors extending sympathy, it was mostly annoyance and self-protection.  One doctor stood by and watched the gal get bit up, then was annoyed/mad at the gal for not screaming/fussing/saying aloud that she was being bit (umm duh?).  My boss told us to make sure we were ready for an OSHA inspection and made the comment, “Doesn’t she have her OWN doctor?” when told the gal had to have 2 recheck appointments after her initial visit.  I wanted to say, of course she doesn’t, because you don’t offer us part-time employees health insurance, and now both of us have spent MORE money in worker’s comp. . .

Nothing is huge here, but it’s an additive affect.  Many incidents over time, a particularly callous boss, forgotten things–it just grows into a larger problem the more it persists.  Those are just some examples of how vet workers are just a dime a dozen, expendable labor.  We have some skills, but apparently none important enough that we can’t be easily replaced.  It’s a problem.