Tag Archives: birthday

Bears Don’t Live on Deserted Islands: My Analysis of “Swiss Army Man” [Spoiler Warning]

8 Jul

For my birthday, we went to an Independent theater and saw the Sundance Film, “Swiss Army Man.”  Let’s just get all talking/jokes about farting out of the way now–that’s not really the central theme of the movie–or this blog.  When you’re watching this movie, you have to “buy in” very early or you’ll hate it.  The film is like one of the whimsical paintings I like, but in a film format.  The reality is altered/fanciful, the shots are jerky, the characters (one is a literally dead guy) in their own little world where physics and time aren’t invited.  You could watch the entire film, and just feel like it was a random string of crazy events.  BUT after much thought, I found a linear plot and meaning.

The supporting evidence:

-When Hank first sees the body, and rides him out in the ocean, then the film cuts back to him with his face on the sandy beach.  Is it a new beach?  Is he somehow back at the same beach?

-random garbage appears in the place–all the time.  Everywhere they are.  I know the ocean has trash, but THIS MUCH???

-Hank looks scruffy as if he’s been in this deserted place for a long time.  His beard is long and he’s dirty.  Yet, he has no survival skills.  He doesn’t know how to make tools to hunt or fish with and he eats bad berries so he doesn’t have a good grip of foraging.  How has he survived this long without having any skills?

-toward the middle of the film, a (grizzly?) bear attacks.  Where is this place where a tropical white sand beach is attached to the woods?

-they travel, travel, travel and end up in the love interest’s back yard

-there are space/time descrepencies regarding the island, such as at the end when Hank is back in society, they are both in the yard with other people, then everyone runs through the forest, but finally everyone is back at the beach.  and Manny goes back to the ocean.

-After Hank is discovered, he rides the body down one hill behind her back yard–and there are his crafts and trash-projects!  He has been right behind her house the whole time-creeper.

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Given these factors, I decided there is no physical island in the movie at all.  And that fact changes the whole movie doesn’t it?  We’re not just in suspended disbelief–this is a perspective story.  Hank’s POV.  The island is a metaphor for how Hank feels/Hank’s thoughts.  He is on a self-imposed deserted island because he feels weird/lonely/stigmatized by society.  This is a movie like the 6th Sense or Memento–we are watching through the lense of whatever mental illness (anxiety/depression, love-obsessed stalker, anti-social personality, skitzophrenia???) Hank has.

Let’s re-examine the above factors:

-When Hank first sees the body, and rides him out in the ocean, then the film cuts back to him with his face on the sandy beach.  Is it a new beach?  Is he somehow back at the same beach?

*Hank was in the middle of committing suicide when the film opens, and he sees a dead body.  A lot of people with mental illness are at risk for suicide.  Seeing the dead body, somehow gives Hank something else to think about other then how he feels.  The body makes him interested in something so he changes his mind about suicide.  Then, as Hank’s mind settles a little, and he doesn’t feel so alone, we see Hank “leaving the deserted island” via the body.  But there is no real personal connection between Hank and this body (yet) so the exit off the island is brief and Hank wakes up back on his deserted island, isolated the way it all started.

-random garbage appears where Hank is

*I won’t go into the more obvious symbolism of trash in the movie, but I’ll talk about how the trash proves location.  At the end, Sarah recognizes her own diary in Hank’s belongings/crafts.  It’s the same diary she happened to be writing in when Hank took the pic of her on the bus.  It shows that Hank has been behind her house, squirreling away her trash the whole time.  All the crafts and stuff are made from her trash!  And that has a more creepy/sinister vibe.

-toward the middle of the film, a (grizzly?) bear attacks

*I don’t know everything about bears, but I’m pretty sure they never live on tropical deserted islands.  This was the primary reason I “got” the film.  The terrain in this deserted changes from beginning to end of the film.  We start out at white sand beaches, go through the forest, over bodies of water, hear a road, then we’re in a back yard.  If all Hank had to do was walk, then why was he so desperate to commit suicide at the beginning?  Also, I wouldn’t think you’d make the effort to kill yourself in a deserted island situation–nature would do it for you.  You’d soon starve, or dehydrate.  If you were desperate on an island, and no longer cared if you lived or died, wouldn’t you just make some sort of last ditch heroic effort to get back to people?

-Hank looks scruffy as if he’s been in this deserted place for a long time.  His beard is long and he’s dirty.  Yet, he has no survival skills.  He doesn’t know how to make tools to hunt or fish with and he eats bad berries so he doesn’t have a good grip of foraging.  How has he survived this long without having any skills?

*Really, Hank didn’t have to know survival skills because the desertion was in his head.  He was physically camping near Sarah’s house and scrounging in her garbage.  Which is why Cheetos and alcohol make it to the deserted place, when in reality it would be implausible for one of those items, and probably impossible to get enough trash to literally survive upon.  Also, the beard.  In the beginning, on the island, Hank’s beard is long and scruffy.  As he and Manny open up and gain a camaraderie–Hank is clean-shaven.  Yet we are never shown how.  I think the hair is part of feeling like an outcast hermit so when he has someone else, Hank no longer feels like that and the symbol of being outcast hermit also just disappears.

-they travel, travel, travel and end up in the love interest’s back yard

and

-there are space/time dependencies regarding the island, such as at the end when Hank is back in society, they are both in the yard with other people, then everyone runs through the forest, but finally everyone is back at the beach.  and Manny goes back to the ocean.

*You start to notice that the more intimacy that is gained between the dead body and Hank, the less deserted the island becomes (we go from isolated white sand beach, to forest, to water, see bears, hear cars, and finally see a little girl in a back yard).  The entire film is about these two buddies traveling back to society.  It takes the whole time!  Yet, at the end, Hank rides Manny’s body out of Sarah’s yard, down one hill, through some water and he’s back on the white sand beach.  It shows how Hank started out in self-imposed isolation in his mind (but physically camping behind Sarah’s house), then as he found an ally, left that isolated place his mind had created.  The more they talk, the more secrets come into the open, and the more comfortable Hank gets with being “other/weird.”  His mind is now a forest.  Not quite the isolation or loneliness of a deserted island, but still removed from society.  Then, Hank and Manny are best friends and understand each other.  Hank’s mind has reintegrated with society and he will take a chance and talk to Sarah.  But then, he sees his father, who is ashamed.  He sees Sarah is alarmed, and the world is a scary place again where Hank is the weird one.  All the progress he made with Manny recedes and his mind takes him back out of the yard, through the forest, on the isolated white beach.  And with the exit of Manny into the ocean–to an altered reality.  It’s (the physical location is actually inside Hank’s own mind) cemented when we see the change in Hank’s father demeanor.  When Hank’s mind is back in reality (he is physically and mentally in a yard) his father leans against the truck–ashamed at what has happened and who his son is.  But when Manny goes back into the ocean, and hank is arrested the father smiles.  It’s because Hank’s mind has gone back to his safe place, and in it Hank can fantasize his father is happy and proud of him–because it’s not reality anymore.  Hank is free of societal restrictions on the island/in the ocean fantasy.

-After Hank is discovered, he rides the body down one hill behind her back yard–and there are his crafts and trash-projects!  He has been right behind her house the whole time-creeper.

*This is the biggest clue the audience is given to Hank’s mind/physical body being different.  When we watch the movie, yes everything is strange, but the shows, and crafts, books, and reenactments are normalized.  We aren’t repulsed by any of it, because we bought in.  When we are out of Hank’s head at the end, and see the same items through the lens of Sarah’s perspective, the crafts and trinkets suddenly look garish and creepy.  She realizes he’s back there doing weird stuff with her garbage.  She knows some random stranger saw her on the bus, took a cell phone pic, found out where she lives, and is now camping there are doing strange projects with her garbage.  She looks horrified.

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So even though I, also, sat in that theater and said, “What the fuck?”  as the lights came back on–I liked the movie.  The more I thought about it, and discussed the plot after the movie, the more it made sense.  And when it made sense, it suddenly had a linear plot that was more likable than that string of random happenings.  I like a movie you have to think about.  And Swiss Army Man has no shortage of metaphor’s, symbols, and discrepancies to make the audience do just that.  I recommend you give it a chance and watch the film–just do me a favor and stop with all the fart jokes.

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Just A Body [Prequel Bb]

7 Jul

That’s exactly how I feel in my line of work.  I suppose it’s common, and I am a lot better off then many.  Some jobs make no bones about not giving a crap about their employees what-so-ever.  But still.  It hurts.  And I don’t want it to.  I don’t want it to affect me at all.  This job is not my life or identity anymore.  This stint does not matter to my life.  That’s what I tell myself anyway.

–>I wrote most of this post in the past, but I’m posting it today–my birthday–because it’s relevant<–

And it continues on.  Because when I’m slighted, then I’m not willing to comment on THEIR personal lives either.  And that’s not the kind of person I want to be, but if you open yourself up and be the way you see yourself ideally–it just hurts more when they STILL don’t care.  And so I just go in and do my job.  So I’m sure they think it’s MY deal.  Which isn’t how I roll, or how I want to, just protection for myself.

And I have learned.  Before, I was devastated when the employers and co-workers I gave so much of my heart, my time, and my life to proved not to give a $hit about me.  Other then sucking every last drop of work out of me, that is.  Now I’m fully aware that these people only see me as a body to get the job done.  They don’t actually like my personality or care about me as a person.

-Birthdays.

kitty birthdayIt’s petty, and I don’t want to notice it or be angry–but I do.  Birthdays are important to me.  When I was turning 28, I would mention my birthday countdown throughout the entire year.  And nothing was said/done for my big day.  I just figured it was the age discrepancy–everyone at work was over 40.  So I thought it sucked, but at that time nobody said or did anything for anyone else.  And nobody else even really disclosed when their big day was.  And this year, nobody so much as gave me a verbal happy birthday for my big, milestone 30th birthday.  BUT the other tech was given balloons and dessert for hers.  The 2nd doctor that shys away from birthday attention, was fawned over and told by everybody happy birthday.  And this week, our receptionist got a cake and special apple cider for hers.  What happened, and why was I still the odd man out?  It’s telling.

-My really important talent show.

An event that was very meaningful to me.  Of course, nobody came even though I invited everybody.  But nobody even Laurel's pics 418wished me luck, asked me about it afterwards, or mentioned the dance itself–it’s on Facebook and YouTube.  I think that sucks, and even if you don’t give a crap–out of politeness alone, you inquire about the super-important things.  Instead those people spit on me.

-Safety.

It was only a matter of time.  I get to work early in the morning (like 30-75 min earlier than anyone else), when it is still dark outside, and our neighborhood is mostly quiet.  Usually, I park on a side-street.  I have no problem walking to the door–any exercise I can squeeze in my day is a good thing.  But someone started messing with Rusty (my car).  It happened on a Saturday morning.  And I know when someone tries to break in, because my alarm will tone three times on unlock instead of two, and the blue light will flash more.  I thought it was a huntsmenfluke and parked there Monday morning.  The alarm had gone off again.  I wondered if my alarm was broken or my doors weren’t closing properly or something.  So I paid close attention next time I locked up.

It didn’t happen at school.  And it never happened at home.  When I parked on that same side street Tuesday–it happened a third time.  So Wednesday, I moved to a different side-street.  Someone tampered with my car there too!  It was making me very nervous.  I felt like someone must be watching me in the morning.  Because it didn’t happen if it was light outside or when I pulled up in the middle of the day.  Was someone being a jerk and just messing with me?  Was someone actually trying to get into to my car?  And to do what?  Was that same person intending on robbing me?  Or worse?  I just didn’t know.  And when I parked on the main street, it didn’t occur.  So I began parking, in front of work–not in either of the two street-side spaces immediately adjacent to our driveway, but in a third.  I leave by 10AM so I figured it would be fine.  And no one messed with my car or me.  But this morning, my boss told me not to park there.  They don’t give a Fu(k about my well-being, and it infuriated me that instead of talking to the Douche who owns the store across the street who parks in our closest street-side spot (while his customers have there own marked 5 min parking spots), she makes me move.  If I get mugged, molested, or murdered walking farther in the dark, with some sinister person out there–at least our clients won’t have to walk far and my boss won’t have to have a confrontation with the neighbor. . .

Injury:

almost 10 hr post 3 editA coworker got bit–which is a very real, and frequent possibility of the job.  But instead of the doctors extending sympathy, it was mostly annoyance and self-protection.  One doctor stood by and watched the gal get bit up, then was annoyed/mad at the gal for not screaming/fussing/saying aloud that she was being bit (umm duh?).  My boss told us to make sure we were ready for an OSHA inspection and made the comment, “Doesn’t she have her OWN doctor?” when told the gal had to have 2 recheck appointments after her initial visit.  I wanted to say, of course she doesn’t, because you don’t offer us part-time employees health insurance, and now both of us have spent MORE money in worker’s comp. . .

Nothing is huge here, but it’s an additive affect.  Many incidents over time, a particularly callous boss, forgotten things–it just grows into a larger problem the more it persists.  Those are just some examples of how vet workers are just a dime a dozen, expendable labor.  We have some skills, but apparently none important enough that we can’t be easily replaced.  It’s a problem.

2013 Recap: Best Moments

31 Dec

I don’t want to make my followers crazy by publishing a super-overabundance of posts all the time.  So I had to choose today’s post carefully.  I decided on this all-important last day of the year, I would pick my top moments of 2013 to talk about.  I have so many looking back and looking forward type posts in que through.  I wrote my 2013 resolution results post, but it became very long, so I sperated it into the various sections.  Which made 5(?) posts.  And then, of course I have 2014 Resolutions.  And the music I listened to most in 2013.  But then I have the new 2013 album releases post.  And I want to make a big post about strategies of how I plan to go about accomplishing my 2014 goals.  Maybe I will make a New Year kind of post every day of the month in January.  Because that’s the way it’s looking.  I like it–I hope I doesn’t make you guys irate.  Anyway, without further adou, the very favorite of my moments in 2013, from 10th most important to super-best-time-ever-of-the-year!

10.  Keeping my 4.0 GPA in school.  Very important to me.  And not all that easy to do, so it garners a spot on the big list.  I only hope it will also be here next year too. . . pinna art

9.  Spa weekend & camping in the living room.  Grocery Outlet beauty/grooming items, massage, foot soaks, spa treatments, and healthful cooking.  Home spas are a heck of a lot less awkward with your mate and more affordable at home.  And camping included, sleeping on the air mattress in the living room, eating microwave s’mores, and watching “The Great Outdoors.”  A good time was had!  I had wanted to have theme weekends all summer, with varying items.  We made it to two before running out of ideas, then motivation.  But these 2 were so fun!  We saved money by staying home as well, which I always like.  I will try to start brainstorming now so we can have more this next summer.  I just thought of music.  And a crafty weekend.  There’s the first month for us. Summer Begins 2013 060

8.  Walla Walla big 30th Birthday.  I was really looking forward to this milestone birthday.  This one is probably due to the great anticipation and the weight I placed on this age.  It’s a big deal to me.  And I always love Walla Walla for the wine country and quaint small town feel–as well as the beautiful Palouse views.  The only reason this items fell relatively low on the list is Cool was mixed state, manic, or cycling (who can tell?) at the time and had no money and she acted like a jerkelsteilskin frequently because of the bipolar.  But I looked good, wasn’t at work, and got a true wine tour–so it was still pretty fun. Walla Walla 30th 022

7.  Seeing a moose up close.  Terribly exciting!  It came right in the yard while I was house-sitting for my boss.  And it ranks only 7th, because when it happened, I was worried the aggressing dog was about to DIE.  And on account of that I did not get a (good) picture. moose 1moose 6

6.  Green Bluff.  I think Peach-Fest was my favorite this year, though we got to go relatively frequently.  I like everything about Green Bluff.  The farm feel, picking/eating my own food, taking pictures, and supporting non-Monsanto produce.  It’s my favorite thing about Washington State (even beating the Fremont neighborhood, I think?!), and always a new adventure when we go.  Oh, wait–it couldn’t possibly beat Pike Place Market for WA fave, or adventure, but it’s the best thing Eastern, and a close second (because the Gorge isn’t as cheap or accessable = #3). Green Bluff 2 018

5.  Parasailing in CdL.  Wow!  We sort of did this one on a whim.  And it wasn’t what I expected at all.  No adrenaline was involved, just peace.  I got great pics, and had a really fun time with Cool.  It was really relaxing–until the dip at least!  I would do this one again any time, and I’ll never forget it.

tree and wake

 

4.  Labor Dave weekend, including the concert, tail-gating prior to entry, exploring mid-WA during the first half Selfie Columbia Riverof the day, hiking down to the Columbia River, camping near Feathers, and playing theampitheatre 4 setlist game with Cool.  The whole thing was fun, and I really like that it wasn’t just about drinking, or even music.  We spent a large majority of the day just appreciating the nature of mid-Washington.  Everyone was in a good (and stable) mood and that’s the best.  I love this concert and the time spent with Cool so much.  It’s totally OUR thing.  But next year–SEATS.  There will be no more GA at Dave for us.

 

3.  Clogging at my school’s Talent Show.  Who knew I missed dancing so much?  The thing that made this so great was the fact it was all mine.  I picked the song.  I wrote the dance.  And I rocked the performance.  I felt really great about the whole thing, and am excited to choreograph my next dances when time allows.  Winter break is for getting ahead with textbook reading, scholarship and application tasks, taxes/FAFSA, shopping for a semester, and winter cleaning/organizing.  See what I mean?  Four and a half weeks SOUNDS long, but there’s not enough time.  But when I do, I will be sure to do some more clogging dances.

2.  Bringing Goose home.  Not the actual hotel stay though.  Being sleep-deprived is never my favorite–though Fall finals 118Boise--May 2013 018seeing Boise with my parents and Cool was extra fun (even tired).  So finally!  I get to have all my buddies in the same state.  I missed him very much, and worried.  Also, this little item improved my relationship with my parents exponentially.  I am enjoying having happiness and closeness with them again–I missed that too.  And Goose is beautiful inside and out.  He’s home ❤

1.  Hands down–getting Forster-Fridays “off” of work.  I just can’t convey what a relief this is to me.  So much weight/stress/anxiety was lifted from me when this happened.  I feel so much more uplifted, positive, and hopeful!  Even though I didn’t believe it would actually happen or stick, and even though the social fall out was. . .  Special.  I love being away from that horrid day (most of it–I’m still there for 3-4 hours) even at the cost of having ALL early mornings, daily tiredness, and being locked in this city.  Still, totally worth it.  This is the item that really enables me to quit drinking.  I love my new schedule more then anyone could know.  I would write/say a big thank you to my boss if it wasn’t poking the bear, or jinxing it. It was sort of a chilled out year, but still good.

DMB Gorge 2008

I think I learned that you don’t have to spend a lot of money or take a lot of time away from work to have excellent moments.  I think 2014 will continue along that train of thought:  I have to work all day on my birthday, and Walla Walla is out of the question.  But maybe my parents will follow-though on visiting us, and that’s always a good time.  There will be the big, super-special yearly event of Labor Dave Weekend (with seats!), plenty of Green Bluff, and maybe a trip to The German (if we’re lucky), but other then that, we’ll make our own good times.  Even if it means being HERE for another year.

 

I’m Disappointed. . . In Me

30 Sep

hit by train 1It seems when you fail, and keeping failing that there’s a cross-roads.  Take some large action to un-do and reverse, or easier–just let go and drop the rest of the way down.  September was kind of like that for me.  OK, I wrote this dreary kind of self-punishing post last week.  Since I have re-evaluated.  I think September was a case of needing balance.  I oscillated between being much too easy on myself, then much too hard.  A person can only be ultra-disciplined for so long before they wear out.  And when I wore out, I relaxed.  But too much, because the relaxing had been so put off and the discipline was so strict that I needed MORE relaxing–see a pattern?  Finally, I did too.  So I’ll edit some of the more bleak/tough on myself aspects of this one, knowing that in October I need more of an even split between discipline and relaxation.

Water.  None.  Probably in the whole month, I drank no water.  When I do it makes me have to pee–which my schedule just doesn’t allow for.  Or it disrupts my sleep.  What to do?  I guess, because this goal is important to me I need to find a way.  Water, helps you still hydrated, which keeps you looking younger and feeling better.  It helpsKidron's post b-day pics 033 fill your stomach so you don’t feel as hungry.  It’s better than drinking other things.  But when to do it?  Let’s see, I suppose I could drink, drink, drink at work in the mornings–as long as I stop when work ends at 10 AM so I can make it through class.  Then, immediately after class (but no later) drink some more.  OK, I will go back to giving this an honest effort.  Maybe today at Costco I’ll get some sort of legit water bottle or thermos instead of using the 6 mo old Gatorade bottle that I have at work. . .  I totally got a cute, non-spill thermos-type cup for work/school water-drinking purposes!  I’ll report back in October and we’ll see if it helped.

Running.  I have good intentions.  I want to–really I do.  But when school becomes a factor there just isn’t any more time.  It takes a back seat to study/work/sleep.  Then, once there’s a gap in track days it becomes almost impossible to get my booty out there.  Add in cold/wet weather and fighting for space at the community college = not happening.  The outside running season is just over.  One day, when I’m rich I’ll either have a gym in my house or a membership.  For now–I resign myself to let this one slip in the interest of grades.  What I will do is study my flashcards (per the usual) at a FASTER speed on the treadmill.  I always study on the treadmill to kill two birds, but usually at 3.0-3.5.  I’ll make an effort to ramp up the intensity.  Also, I can try to jog on the treadmill while Cool quizzes me or during a show.  Thirdly, I can still do a little Wii-Fit, clogging, stretching, or intervals here & there.  I was pretty good this weekend about also climbing hills and walking fast when Cool and I were watching horror movies (we love fall).  Except, the belt gets really hot on my bare feet so I’m pretty sure this treadmill is about to die 😦  Hopefully without catching fire or burning somebody badly before it does.  I don’t know which is worse, having to buy a new Craigslist treadmill or carrying this one down the stairs and a new one up the stairs. . .  Oh treadmill, please hold out for 2 more years.

Work.  I will stop being so nervous.  That’s all.  If they do revert my schedule, I know what I have to do.  And that’s all.  I can’t constantly worry and try to accomplish the work of three people to prove my “worth” to them.  It’s telling when our receptionist gets a big basket of flowers after her dog’s euthanasia (Sloppy = nothing) and the newer tech gets balloons and donuts (me = nothing for 3 years) for her birthday.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need for these people to like me or anything, and want to take the personal out of work all-together–it’s just telling of their attitudes towards me, that’s all.  And regarding my work ethic and schedule:  If they don’t know by now that I’m a worthy employee, well then they will just never know, and no action on my part will convince them.  Time to let the finger take over for me on this one. . .  Re-edit = true story and I’m letting go and letting God because this is too much for me to carry around all the time.

Money.  The one good thing about feeling like I have to do extra just to stay in place at work, is that it garners me anti-facebookmore hours.  And more $$$$$  However, now that my undergrad loan ran out of payment options and I MUST pay an extra $200 a month, I’m a little worried about the health insurance I’m also now forced to get.  What happened to “free” health care for everyone?  This was not what I voted for!  I really have to make time to research all this insurance crap so I don’t get into trouble financially.  One.  More.  Thing.  I looked into some options, though I’m ignorant of all the jargon and terminology.  I make too much money (how is that even possible?) for Medicaid.  There’s some alternate (low-income, I think?) option for Medicaid rejects, and in trying to take the screening to see if I qualified for that, I may or may not have signed myself up for some catastrophe insurance that really is no different from the no coverage I have now–except if I’m hit by a bus.  What.  a.  Waste.  What happened to all employers paying for this?!

Drinking.  In the month, there has only been a handful of special occasions when I have partaken.  Except, the DMB TXamounts were not great.  I need to moderate both the instances and quantities.

Cool.  Still dealing with medication/memory issues.  Had a melt-down just yesterday.  We have to help her remember to take all her meds when she is supposed to take them.  Hopefully, we can work out a more reliable system for doing that.  We love fall though, and are excited for Green Bluff, scary movies, and Halloween.  So there’s a motivator to get on, and stay on the right track.  Also, I’m home with her more often now that my schedule has changed, so I can help remind more often.

School.  I slipped a little.  If not just in my mentality.  I still went through all the same motions, but IN my head CI 10school was just a little lower priority then it should have been.  I am reformed and straightened out now.  Work doesn’t matter.  Fun is on the back burner.  School is what’s going to move my life along toward my ultimate goals and I am back in it whole-heartedly.  I even worked ahead a little yesterday.  I’ll get more ahead this weekend.  But not too hard-core to where I need a huge break.  I’m going to do study things daily, per the usual, but I can squeeze in an hour of relaxation too.  More balance is called for to break the pattern I’m in.

Food.  When I’m studying and bored or when I’m tired and stressed–it’s really easy to over-do it.  Then, when there’s no time to grocery shop and plan ahead like I should I do things like polish off an entire box of wheat Thins (or Doritoes) in one sitting.  I don’t want to do that.  This makes me crazy, and once you do it–makes it that much easier to do it again.  Food is a slippery slope.  And I have absolutely no In between seasons 024self-control.  I need to go to Grocery Outlet–with a list–at least every other week.  And cook things that are at least neutral, if not healthy.  We went grocery shopping, with a list, yesterday.  And I treadmilled after eating my yummy crock-pot taco unhealthiness.  So I felt OK about it.  Now to get out of my jammies and to the Grocery Outlet EVERY week. . .

I did however, do a great job flossing every day.  I guess I just need to remember my biggest goals and plug away at those.  I need to see that even one slip-up doesn’t have to mean letting go of the aspiration entirely.  Stop being perfectionist, because it is counter-productive right now.  [And it makes me need to chill out later–too much] I’m hopeful about establishing more neutrality with a balance of both responsibility and fun next month.

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Putting the “Quick” in Quick-Press

17 Jun

Cool’s birthday weekend:

-birthday on a boat (obligatory)
This year we did the CdL (don’t ask me to spell the crazy name of that Idaho town) sunset cruise. It was very nice, but “buffet” is used very liberally. As I expected it was more of a catered event. 4 salads, 2 sides, 2 entrees, small portion sizes, and one cheesecake does not count as a legit buffet. Nevada girl I am, I’m a stickler about this terminology.

Color Run:
Amazing as expected. I will make an individual post about the deets.

Hike. OK, a day in PJs doing nothing but watching television shows and eating. It was a great time.

Kitties: Loving each other so much. Sleep is not had. So today I was very tired. But in good spirits, anyway. It’s really about the moods of the people you’re with all day–and today was a good mood overall.

I’ll post tomorrow after a good sleep!

The All-Important Facebook Birthday Wish

8 Sep

It’s hard not to gauge this as the end all, friendship test.  You can’t even make the time to jot down a happy birthday on my wall, ON my actual birthday = you’re not worth MY time.

And that is soooooooo silly.  I know it is.  Especially (this is the hypocritical part) when I do not wish ANYone happy birthday.  Because I’m too lazy.  And everyone else does it so I figure it doesn’t matter.  And Facebook keeps moving those damn notifications and I’m tired of searching around for them.

But it makes me think twice when someone I thought cared about me doesn’t/didn’t.  Where was Sarah?  My very best friend just 5 years ago–when I lived in Missouri and before she got a BF.  Where were Dawn and Chelle, my first friends from elementary school, and closet friends at the end of High School?  Where were ANY co-workers from ever?  I worked with various people in the last 12 years and exactly 2 of them (and I have lots, and lots of work people on my friends list) wished my a happy birthday.

It just goes to show A)  Facebook is not a gauge of true relationship status and B) Give your time and energy to those that deserve it.

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It’s My Big 29th Birthday!

7 Jul

Cancer Traits:

-Cancer is a meditative and reflective sign.

-strong survival instinct. They are protective of those they care about, and of themselves too.

-Cancer people are never detached—they cling to things, their home, and people they care for. They seek out security and familiarity in all they do. They look for peace and quiet. Their attachment to all that is safe means they are a little leery of change.

-looking for structure and security.

-They can be overly sensitive, easily hurt and prone to brooding. Even so, Crabs find it easy to be sympathetic to others and are quick to show their affection. Their intuition is also a great help to them, especially in times of stress.

-don’t be surprised if these folks get emotional about things. Those born under this sign wear their heart on their sleeve, which is just fine by them.  Cancer natives are self-protective and sensitive, and often retreat into themselves when hurt.

-they can appear quite defensive, as they can take things quite personally.

-Cancer is a very sensitive sign, and they don’t always appreciate it when you are blunt with them. Their reactions to hurt will depend on how thick a shell they have developed. Most Cancers react by withdrawing or retreating. Some have developed an ability to manipulate others to get what they want. They avoid direct confrontations almost as a rule.

-Cancer communicators’ style is to avoid arguments. But, make no mistake about it, they can provoke arguments easily. They do this in a subtle manner, then get hurt when others argue with them.

-These people can have a hard time compartmentalizing their lives, simply because their watery Moon tends to know no boundaries. Sometimes, as a result, they may act irrationally.

-Cancers are quick to retreat into their shells if it suits their mood. No wonder these folks are called crabby! For Cancer, it’s not that big of a deal, though, since they consider this ‘shell’ a second home (and they do love home). The flip side of this hiding is that shell-bound Crabs are often quite moody.

-If you’ve hurt them, they’ll have a hard time forgetting. Every so often, they’ll retreat into themselves (not unlike a Crab), and it can be difficult to pull them out.

-inclines toward passive-aggressiveness. These people seem to resist change and to shy away from direct confrontations. They need to feel secure before they act.

-Their first instinct, when threatened or on unfamiliar ground, is to protect themselves.

-When new situations present themselves, they can immediately withdraw or act shy.

-They have defensive reactions and bursts of emotional displays when they feel cornered.

-That shell, by the way, isn’t the only tough thing about Crabs. These folks are tenacious and strong-willed and like to get their way. If their well-documented kindness and gentleness doesn’t do the trick, however, they’re not above using emotional manipulation to make things happen. If that still doesn’t work, they’ll just go back to their shell and sulk, or find a way to get back at the source of their pain, since Crabs can be rather vindictive.

-You might notice their memory is a little skewed in the direction of emotion. The truth is, these people remember the mood surrounding all the moments they have stored in their memory. This is because they “feel you out” when you are talking to them. The words are not as important to them as the emotions behind them.

-large potential to be able to get in touch with the feelings and moods of others.

-ranging from sentimentality to possessiveness

-Crabs need to resist the temptation to become selfish or to feel sorry for themselves, since this behavior won’t help.

-Cancers often find that a robust workout session is just the tonic for their touchy feelings.  Since Cancers have a tendency to be lazy, however, they may need someone to push them out the door.

-These folks don’t ask for much, either: a comfortable home and sense of peace about sums it up. It’s that nurturing instinct which makes Cancers a pleasure to be with.

-These peace-loving souls dislike superficiality in all of its forms. They are devoted and accommodating. The insecure ones accumulate things in an attempt to feel secure.

-Cancers are, in fact, quite yielding and soft when you have them in the right mood. They are one of the more hospitable signs of the zodiac. Sure, they can be touchy and indirect, but they are also very dependable, caring souls.

-Do your best to make them feel secure and cared for, and you will be rewarded with a patient, dependable, and loving mate.

-Cancer needs roots. They resist change to an extent, and concern themselves about being secure and safe in most everything they do.

-Because of their strong attachment to, and memory of, the past, others may complain that Moon in Cancer natives tend to whip a dead horse. They may dwell on hurts long after everyone else has moved on. When they feel they have been taken for granted (which may be often!), they don’t always confront others directly. This is when they can use roundabout ways to get your attention. In fact, these natives, when they are insecure, can become quite manipulative. They can also be victims of habit.

-One of the most delightful characteristics of Moon in Cancer people is their loony sense of humor. These people can be extraordinarily funny.

-When treated with tenderness and understanding, Moon in Cancer natives return the favor with warmth and protection. Give them security, and you’ll take the crabbiness out of the Crab, at least for awhile.

-These people are wonderfully dependable overall, despite their occasional mood swings. Make a friend of Moon in Cancer, and you will be taken care of for life.