I washed my hands of us at the club You made a mess of me/I pictured you with other girls in love/Then threw up on the street/Oh, my, love is a lie…/…It hits different this time/Catastrophic blues/Movin’ on was always easy for me to do/It hits different/It hits different ’cause it’s you/(‘Cause it’s you)/I used to switch out these Kens, I’d just ghost/Rip the band-aid off and skip town likе an asshole outlaw…/…Cursed the space that I needed/I trace the evidence, make it make some sense/Why the wound is still bleedin’/You were the one that I loved…/…Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief/In the good in the world, you once believed in me/And I felt you and I held you for a while/Bet I could still melt your world/Argumentative, antithetical dream girl…/…Or have they come to take me away?/To take me away
Lock broken, slur spoken/Wound open, game token/I didn’t know you were keeping count/Rain soaking, blind hoping/You said I was freeloading/I didn’t know you were keeping count/High infidelity/Put on your records and regret me/I bent the truth too far tonight/I was dancing around, dancing around it/High infidelity/Put on your headphones and burn my city/Your picket fence is sharp as knives…/…Storm coming, good husband/Bad omen/Dragged my feet right down the aisle/At the house lonely, good money/I’d pay if you’d just know me/Seemed like the right thing at the time…/…I didn’t know you were keeping count/But oh, you were keeping count
They said the end is coming/Everyone’s up to something/I find myself running home to your sweet nothings/Outside, they’re push and shoving/You’re in the kitchen humming/All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing/On the way home/I wrote a poem/You say, “What a mind”/This happens all the time…/…To you, I can admit that I’m just too soft for all of it…/…You’re in the kitchen humming (you’re in the kitchen humming)/… All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing
…I’m so in love that I might stop breathing/Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling/No, I didn’t see the news/‘Cause we were somewhere else/Stumbled down pretend alleyways/Cheap wine, make believe it’s champagne/I was taken by the view/Like we were in Paris/Like we were somewhere else/Privacy sign on the door/And on my page and on the whole world/Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours/Levitate above all the messes made/Sip quiet by my side in the shade/And not the kind that’s thrown/I mean, the kind under where a tree has grown…/…I wanna transport you/To somewhere the culture’s clever/Confess my truth/In swooping, sloping, cursive letters/Let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight/In my mind
I might do a part 2, as I found another very interesting source. Will alll the new songs coming out (heh) we’ll see what I do.
Bigger than the Whole Sky
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye/You were bigger than the whole sky/You were more than just a short time/And I’ve got a lot to pine about/I’ve got a lot to live without/I’m never gonna meet/What could’ve been, would’ve been/What should’ve been you/What could’ve been, would’ve been you…/…Every single thing to come has turned into ashes/’Cause it’s all over, it’s not meant to be/So I’ll say words I don’t believe
Grieving giving up her opportunity to come out, missing the (queer) person she might have been.
***Trigger Warning***
conversion therapy
Though this is very bleak, we’re going to end on a lighter, more hopeful note:
We were supposed to be just friends…/…Depending on what kind of mood and situation-ship I’m in/And what’s in my system/I think there’s been a glitch, oh, yeah…/…And I’m not even sorry/Nights are so starry, blood moonlit/It must be counterfeit…/…A brief interruption, a slight malfunction/I’d go back to wanting dudes who give nothing/I thought we had no chance/And that’s romance, let’s dance
…I wanted that pain…/…All of me changed like midnight/My town was a wasteland/Full of cages, full of fences/Pageant queens and big pretenders/But for some, it was paradise/My boy was a montage/A slow-motion, love potion…/…I broke his heart ’cause he was nice…/…It came like a postcard/Picture perfect, shiny family/Holiday, peppermint candy/But for him it’s every day/So I peered through a window/A deep portal, time travel/All the love we unravel/And the life I gave away…/…I guess sometimes we all get/Just what we wanted, just what we wanted…/…I guess sometimes we all get/Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted/And I never think of him/Except on midnights like this (midnights like this)
Big city, wrong choices/We had one thing going on/I swear that it was something/’Cause I don’t remember who I was before you/Painted all my nights/A color I’ve searched for since/But one thing after another/Lost in situations, circumstances/Miscommunications…/…Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?/Did you wish you’d put up more of a fight?/When she said it was too much?/Do you wish you could still touch …her?/Half-moon eyes, bad surprise/Did you realize, out of time/She was on your mind/With some dickhead guy/That you saw that night/But you were on something/It was one drink after another/Caught in politics and gender-roles/And you’re not sure and I don’t know/Got swept away in the gray/I just may like to have a conversation…/…Does it feel like everything’s just like second-best after that/Meteor strike?/And what’s that, that I heard, that you’re still with her/That’s nice, I’m sure that’s what’s suitable/And right
PS- don’t do drugs, they fuck you up and ruin lives
Snow on the Beach
…Life is emotionally abusive…/…I’m unglued, thanks to you/And it’s like snow at the beach/Weird but fuckin’ beautiful/Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful/You wanting me tonight feels impossible/But it’s comin’ down, no sound, it’s all around/Like snow on the beach…/…My smile is like I won a contest/And to hide that would be so dishonest/And it’s fine to fake it ’til you make it/’Til you do, ’til it’s true…/…I (I) can’t (can’t) speak afraid to jinx it/I (I) don’t (don’t) even dare to wish it/But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet…/…Can this be a real thing? Can it?/…Are we falling like snow at the beach? (Snow at the beach)/Weird but fuckin’ beautiful/Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful (flying in a dream)/You wanting me tonight feels impossible (you wanting me)/But it’s comin’ down, no sound, it’s all around/Like snow on the beach (snow on the beach)/Like snow on the beach (flying in a dream)/Like snow on the beach (you wanting me)/Like snow, oh/But it’s comin’ down, no sound, it’s all around/Like snow on the beach (it’s comin’ down, it’s comin’ down)
***Trigger Warning***
Drugs
This is not pro-drug, just historic and informational snips pertinent to the song references.
–Continue reading if interested in drug characteristics–
Potential drugs referenced in the song:
[also, please visit the link, as it as alternate names, formats of the drug, side effects, long term effects, and current laws. It’s really chock-full of useful information and has an index to easily look up drugs of interest.]
…And the touch of a hand lit the fuse/Of a chain reaction of countermoves/To assess the equation of you/Checkmate, I couldn’t lose/What if I told you none of it was accidental/And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me?/I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork/The dominoes cascaded in a line/What if I told you I’m a mastermind?/And now you’re mine/It was all by design/’Cause I’m a mastermind…/…Strategy sets the scene for the tale/I’m the wind in our free-flowing sails/And the liquor in our cocktails/What if I told you none of it was accidental/And the first night that you saw me, I knew I wanted your body?/…So I’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since/To make them love me and make it seem effortless/This this the first time I’ve felt the need to confess/And I swear/I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian ’cause I care
I don’t really care for the following paper’s confusion about control vs. status. Or their lazy conclusion justifying a weak result with autistic TRAITS vs. a diagnosis. But there is a lot of interesting information about hormones here:
kit10phish.wordpress.com 
Catty Remarks