Tag Archives: break up

Lauren Alaina: Getting Over Him EP Review

12 Dec

Arrrg–seriously, put your Spotify page together with the latest album release at the top!  I started listening to the album until I got to “Road Less Traveled” which I was certain I had judged before.  

If I Was a Beer:  The bass drum is on point!  And I like the comparison.

Bar Back:  When she speeds up, it makes the song great.  I also like how relatable it is to have to split all the favorite and routine places a couple went to together, after the break up.

Getting Over Him:  About the rebound after a relationship ends.  I never like the idea of rebounding.

What Do You Think Of:  Lukas Graham’s voice sounds perfect with Lauren Alaina’s voice.  Seriously, they should consider joining up as a band forever.  This song was the standout of the entire–I’m going to call it EP since there are only 6 songs.  The high notes are nice, with Graham doing most of the heavy lifting hitting that one note.  Alaina shows her vocal skill though, which I had been wanting all along.

Oh. Now I see what happened with the Spotify order–this is not a true album, but an EP.

Overall, I was disappointed.  If your EP is made of a few really great songs, put it out.  But if the songs are not perfect, either edit til they are better, or add some stunners and make a full album.  Also, the two things I liked best about her past album, was Alaina’s positivity and good messaging, and her vocal strength.  This EP showcased neither.

Don’t Jump Ship

14 Nov

Kaylor was real. And I think they’re still together.

I have no insider information. I’m not in PR, and I’m not super-engaged in any fandom. I only hear current info after the fact, and I’m not up on the latest liked tweets, gossip columns, or sightings.

But I am a gay gal who just celebrated her 11 year anniversary with her soulmate (yesterday, 11/13 actually). And I also listen and analyze song lyrics. And between those two sources of knowledge, I think Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss are still together.

Karlie preceded Taylor’s secret album drop with a cardigan, and the exact album imagery–13 days (Taylor’s favorite number?!) prior. Let’s unpack that:

1) How would Karlie even know? No one knew. Even the magazines and people that usually get albums early, in order to write their reviews, were surprised with the album drop like everyone else. Would an ex know?

2) Covid is on the scene. It’s harder, or disallowed, to gather. Getting inside information when you’re not an insider is even more difficult than usual. And Taylor said she wrote folklore in quarantine. So even if she started a bit earlier, how did Karlie know specific details if they weren’t together?

3) Have you heard Taylor’s catalogue? She has never been exactly friendly with past exes. These boys that upset her, even when it was a mutual show-mance, got some bitter lyrics sent their way. Taylor has been known to hold a grudge, and to put shit-heads right in thier place. Even Diana Agron. Everything I know about Diana is through the lens of Taylor’s music, and it’s not exactly positive. So why would Taylor just sit back and let Karlie walk all over her? We’re majorly underestimating Taylor’s self-worth and grit. She is not a doormat! Taylor has the people in her life that she wants to be there.

4) If Karlie spoiled a secret album drop bc of ill-intent, baiting, or hate–don’t you think Taylor’s team would take legal action? Taylor is the queen of NDAs, and has all the money–she’s not afraid to sue. Her team has litigated the smallest copyright infractions. Do you really think Taylor would let an ex spoil the surprise with no consequence?

Everyone is turning Kaylor off primarily because of a People article. We know People is not a reliable source. How many times have they reported that Ellen Degeneres and Portia deRossi are broken up? How many times has Jennifer Aniston been pregnant in that magazine? And we know they’ve reported Taylor Swift’s various engagement and pregnancies–that never came to fruition.

Even if the teams feed them the articles–what evidence is there that Karlie is actually pregnant? She might be, IDK, but let’s not jump to conclusions based on one or two sketchily sourced headlines. Couldn’t it be that the Ku$hners currently have bad publicity, and the team is trying to add a sympathy card? Divert attention? People are less likely to be haters when a baby is involved. Babies would change the narrative, and provide good, sympathetic distraction from an election loss and criminal accusations. I really have no idea about these things. What I do know, is people shouldn’t just jump to conclusions over one magazine announcement. Wait until more facts are garnered. My guess? There’s no baby. But we’ll see what comes to light.

OK, we talked about how the source is incomplete at best, fabricated at worst. Now, let’s discuss the logistics of a pregnancy. I hope you know, gay people don’t just fuck the opposite sex. That’s not a thing, and it’s disgusting for people to admit the Ku$hner has a long-term husband, and that Karlie is bi (more likely lesbian) but still assert they had sex with each other. I’m a gay, and would NEVER mess around with a penis–it’s like the #1 rule of lesbianism. Desire for children or no. And to think a gay man would have intercouse with a woman–Just. No. And why would he do that–it would make his husband, Mike crazy and hurt their relationship (the real relationship).

Yes, I know there are alternate ways to make a baby. But let’s talk careers also. Don’t you think the Ku$hners have been a little busy with the election and all? And Karlie is constantly working, and in the public eye. Are they going to so abruptly change their M.O. and career trajectories to start a family? I mean, it’s possible, but let’s use some critical thinking skills also. I thought they were in a lavender marriage precisely to further their respective careers?

Aside, from not buying into incomplete, sketchy-sourced evidence, and logistic implausibility of a pregnancy, I have personal experience with relationships. Mine is solid. I’m happy, and so is my mate. But I broke up with my mate before and kicked her out of our apartment after 6.5 years together.

Some mean girls we worked with were jealous of my schedule and took it upon themselves to punish me by sabotaging my and my mate’s relationship. And my trusting, somewhat naive mate, fell right under their manipulations. My mate mean-girrled me after 6.5 years together! And we broke up. I was upset–still am. The situation sucked very bad. But you don’t choose your soulmate, Invisible String is absolutely correct. So despite misgivings, I let my mate back into my life. I wouldn’t do that for anybody else. I’m happy to cut off toxic relationships, usually–I’m no doormat. But your soulmate is special. She is my heart, and even though what she did is unforgivable really, I am more happy with her in my life then without. I am not whole without her. So we’re together and she’s sorry that ever happened, and changed her behavior. People grow, and I chose to let us grow together.

Sometimes long term relationships have blips. And having experienced it firsthand, I think many times they can be overcome. And I think Taylor feels the same. I think she considers Karlie her soulmate. And after all the yearning, dreaming, and wanting a fairytale ending–I don’t think Taylor is going to let that slip away easily. She wrote The Lakes to follow Hoax, to show the listener that yeah, all the content of Hoax sucks, and is depressing and toxic–but there’s still that rose that grew out of frozen ground (mentioned in Hoax), and Taylor still wants to take her muse with her. And if you think that muse is some boy–you have ZERO gay-dar!

I think Taylor feels topsy-turnvy more because of internal homophobia than anything shitty Karlie is doing (which let’s not forget Taylor does this hurtful bearding stuff also). Internal homophobia is what drives being closeted, and it leads to depression. Living a secret, closeted life is both high-maintenance and mentally/emotionally taxing. I was closeted (still am in some circles), and it feels BAD. Of course Taylor is sad. Bearding is stressful and phony and horrible to put an S.O. through.

When my mate and I visit my rural hometown, I never touch her, and want us to appear to outsiders (who are bigots) as just friends. And when I say “friend” or “roommate when those small-town people press, I feel ugly and disgusting inside. I feel ashamed with myself for not being stronger. Even so, the fear outweighs all those feelings. Now amplify that by a million for Taylor and Karlie. And they’re both participating in that game of secrecy. it’s a lot of stress.

What I’m saying is–don’t be a weak Kaylor and give up so soon. Taylor and Karlie may have broken up, but the evidence we have is not very great. At least wait for more substantial proof.

Un-Do It

11 Jun

I always think of Douche when I hear Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood.  This might be because these were on heavy rotation at the peak of our break-up drama.  More likely, these artists remind me of what an effing loser Douche is, and how I’m WAAAAAAY better off without her, because the singers often rant about their terrible-exes.

Carrie Underwood’s lyrics perfectly describe my feelings about Douche. Some people are glad for every experience they have–good and bad–because they learn and grow from them. Those people feel that without those bad experiences that helped shape them, they wouldn’t be who and where they are today. Screw that.  I wish I had never met Douche.  I hope she is reading this right now.

I regret, regret, REGRET every feeling sorry enough for her to give her a chance in the first place.  And even sorrier that I was very dependable/dedicated–>read dumb<–and stayed around.  Miserable.  For 2 years.  And went through games for 2-ish more post break-up.  BAD-times.  The only thing Douche taught me is that some people are avert your eyes if you hate swearing fucking sociopaths to be avoided at all costs.  And not to be so dedicated–to anyone.  I will be happy if I never see that b!t(h again–for the rest of my life.

The only problem with cutting someone completely out of your life is you know longer know where they are to better avoid them.  But I’m pretty certain I’ll never run into Douche. . .  And it is far more important to never interact with her in any capacity ever again.  As such, I have her blocked on Facebook, so I don’t have to look at her ugly face or fatness, or hear her dumb commentary on mutual friend’s pages.  And so she can’t try to interact with me or spy on me either.

But–just this morning (this post was written one or two weeks ago), she commented on a mutual friend’s page!  She had changed her facebook account name or gotten a sketchy second account.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she did it to see MY page–b/c I had blocked her.  So I had to go through the trouble of blocking her second Facebook account-Lame.  Then I wondered if she had already seen anything of mine.  And it made me paranoid and agitated that I hadn’t searched around to make sure she wasn’t in multiple places.  Lurking pet accounts, anyone?  But it’s taken care of for now.

Though the joke is probably on me because Douche is more then likely reading my blog RIGHT now.  Wouldn’t that just be the way?  Anyway, I don’t want that mofo anywhere near me.  Rant over.

Become Wise (Douche Song) [posted 9-10-08]

17 Jan

You KNOW I have to write my annual Douche blog.  This one is a two-part-er though.  I feel I should include other mistakes as well—to downplay the impact Douche had on my life.  This year, I included all of my official long term relationships that coincidentally started in September and were doomed to fail.  Since you’ve heard all the details and fall-out already, here is a poem I wrote to mark the occasion:

The real world is only a Guise

A scare-tactic to fill innocents with Lies

A means for the cynical to Criticize

Then growing up, you get a Surprise

Life, as one can Surmise

Is not that serious—living is the Prize

And along the way the naive become Wise

Hindered and helpless describes my time with You

All I wanted was to be free

But You tore my wings like a child dissecting a butterfly

Ripping my purity and untarnished spirit away from me hastily

The impact left me ashamed and naked

Alone and abandoned, slowly passing time with You

Withering away, I blamed myself and fell further into Your abyss

Buried alive, I wondered if I would ever escape darkness and claw my way to light

A masked assailant in a sinister, cold night,

You left my spirit sharp, as unevenly cut as a bottle broken for a fight.

Disturbed and still under your spell, I drank from the severed shard of glass

An angry taste of iron in my mouth

My miserable existence tedious, I had to wage war for my own preservation

My anger shone red, eyes turned stone, and emotions ceased

A flightless butterfly now a serpent

Jaded by Your touch

The real world is only a Guise

A scare-tactic to fill innocents with Lies

A means for the cynical to Criticize

Then growing up, you get a Surprise

Life, as one can Surmise

Is not that serious—living is the Prize

And along the way the naive become Wise

Still cold and reptilian, You caught me off guard

A startling new beginning that astounded me

leaping on lilly pads leisurely

I enjoyed the moment and our undeniable chemistry

I loved You fully, didnt see your imperfections

My spirit redeemed, as bright and clean as the shallow water in which we swam

Purple skies and drunken, passionate nights

My skin shivered with delight every time the moon would shine

Like our pond, my spirit began to get murky as we fooled around

Reality returned—this thing between us could not last

My journey was not finished

I was no longer snake, but didnt want to remain a frog, I wanted to soar again

I knew You could evolve with me

You were resolute

Remembering my struggle I became more judgmental

I needed You to aspire to more

The real world is only a Guise

A scare-tactic to fill innocents with Lies

A means for the cynical to Criticize

Then growing up, you get a Surprise

Life, as one can Surmise

Is not that serious—living is the Prize

And along the way the naive become Wise

Love Lost (My First Blog Poem) [posted 2-27-07]

17 Jan

I should have listened to that inner voice

That told me we were not the same

Instead I made a stupid choice

And brought myself into your game

I attempted to learn to love you

Willpower alone can’t spark love’s flame

Your persona blinded me

I wasted time, it is a shame

After the breakup, I started to see

You were evil–your heart is lame

I mourned my innocence lost

A jaded person, I became

I was broken until our paths crossed

Infatuation was immediate–we both came

It seemed fated, things were different this time

We were the same

I was untrusting, it was a crime

You broke it off, and I left you with full blame

I was upset, but started coping

Your post-breakup behavior appalled me–it was not tame

I cut all ties, I started hoping

That with distance between us I would remember your good name