Tag Archives: bullying

Big Fish Small Pond

5 Feb

oh what a success!

that higher degree

you lowered yourself

came back to the town

living on past memories

 

big fish small pond

you sparkle like a diamond

taste of fame and smugness spawned

 

so you were born silver and blue

titled yourself royalty

make speeches and appearances

big for your britches

nobody cares except your own vanity

 

big fish small pond

a new era has dawned

all your modesty gone

 

everybody knows you

at least they think they do

love and hate the fishbowl

you relish that attention

resent and shun it too

 

big fish small pond

all your devotees fond

do they know that they were conned?

 

you impressed me

I wanted to appease you

and have you as a role model too

I worked very hard

you can’t dispute that

 

but you have a secret

can’t show that side of you

you’re actually terrified

but will never let on

your ego might get bruised

 

you’re self absorbed

everything’s about you

on my scary day

locked me in the bathroom

told me to keep yours confidential

 

put yourself on a pedestal

all that self aggrandizing

calling everyone losers

saying ‘play the game’

the town doesn’t know that part of you

 

big fish small pond

but pomposity beyond

a professional = non

 

invited me in

I saw the breakdown

now you cheat and scheme

not who I thought you were

awfully disappointing

 

big fish small pond

though I left and did abscond

I won’t be shamed I will respond

 

you only liked when I admired you

turned against me when I saw inside

stomped on me when I was low

could have tried to mentor though

my behavior wasn’t any worse than yours

 

your true character is ugly

you have your issues too:

you’re a bully

and conniving

and mean-spirited

gossipy

judgmental

it’s what you do

so go ahead and talk shit

you know I know the truth

Teasing Isn’t the Worst Thing

12 Apr

Let me distinguish teasing from bullying. Bullying is never OK, and it needs to stop. I would categorize it as persistent to relentless, threatening words or behavior +/- physical attacks.

We watched a video about children with hearing loss in class. I thought the movie really bent over backwards to ensure that none of the profiled were teased about their hearing aids. And I felt all of the parents were very preoccupied at the prospect of their child being teased. And I felt like that shouldn’t matter as much as they were saying it should.

CI flower

It is human nature to categorize and notice difference. There is RESEARCH that shows people rated most attractive are the most healthy. Humans learn to classify and notice differences in order to ensure genetic survival. Also, in order to readily see cultural boundaries or find “friendly” tribes. You can’t just un-do millenia of evolution.  You should watch this, because it is awesome and it is interesting–also it goes into the evolutionary categorization I’m talking about:

http://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/other-shows/videos/other-shows-science-of-sex-appeal-videos.htm

Also, let me just say that I don’t think getting rid of teasing all-together isn’t practical and it may even be detrimental.

Every kid is “other” somehow: Glasses, gay, height, weight, athletic ability, pointy nose, etc, etc. . . Teasing isn’t limited to just one difference or one child. And I think it’s a good teaching point. When a child is teased you can remind them it’s their differences that make the unique and special person they are. You can also teach them that their self-esteem shouldn’t be tied to what others think [IMPERATIVE POINT].  Kids need to learn not to care about what others think. Also, even if adults are able to shield kids from all teasing (impossible) they are going to hear it at some point. They ought to be given the tools to cope with the situation, otherwise they will crumble at an older age when they don’t have an advocate.

Stripped on the Bus

13 Jun

After a win–strip the clothes off your softball teammate?!  I’m not certain how this tradition would get started, other than complete hostility toward some stigmatized, perhaps minority player.  When I played sports we were all about getting along as a unit.  Sure, some of the girls may have had personality conflicts or fleeting animosities, but nothing that resulted in physical abuse!  Teams are supposed to be just that–a system that works together with trust, and when I was in clogging, track, even cheerleading, we wanted to be a cohesive aggregate.  After spending so much time together, in the classroom, at practice, during games–cliques formed with members of the organization, and those girls became your closest friends.  I don’t understand how a team could turn against one member in this way. . .

I guess they do things differently in Idaho, state with the highest suicide rate in the union.  After a softball game in Potlatch on April 28, 2011, the Kellogg High School players proceeded to bully one of the girls on the team in dramatic fashion.  As she slept, three juniors and seniors pulled every last stitch of clothing off her body as a joke.  The sad part is that kids in any school, and in every state get bullied all the time.  More on this later. . .

The weirdest thing about this incident is it happened on the bus ride back to the home town.  The coach and bus driver were in the front of the bus, and this occurred on the back.  How in the world does nobody take notice of three girls (all under age 18) stripping another girl naked???  There are rumors pictures were taken of the abusive incident.  No other team members stood up for the victimized girl, and only the next day did one member of the team send an anonymous note to the school’s administration.

And the reaction of the superintendent, Sandra Pommerening?  Pretty apathetic in my opinion.  First she explained the negligence of the supervising adults on that bus trip by stating, 1.) “. . .  It was dark and there was road noise.”  Despite administrative apathy, 4.) Kellogg coach Alan Williams, has been placed on paid administrative leave.  As for the guilty players–Pommerening did nothing more than kick the three perpetrators off the softball team. . .  With a mere two games left in the season.  Like, who cares?  Softball season was supposed to wrap up on May 5 anyway–I don’t think missing the last week of a sport is a large enough punishment considering the severity of the offense.  Oh, the other part of this punishment?  Gasp!  Being banned from attending prom.  They were not expelled from school. . .

The victim’s mother lives in South Dakota and is quoted as saying, 4.) “They crossed the line – tearing her underwear off her body?  I don’t want to ruin these girls’ lives – I want them to have bright futures but they need to be taught a lesson … I think charges should be filed.”  Ummm, yeah–I think so too.  As do a lot of citizens in Idaho that are outraged over the incident.

After an investigation, Kootenai County police recommended hazing and battery charges for the three bullies on the team.  Though I’m happy SOMEBODY is doing something meaningful, In Idaho, battery only carries a maximum fine of $1,000 or no more than 6 months of jail time–unless of course, the victim is pregnant in which case the justice is more severe.  2.) Pommerening thought the punishment they had already received was just.   3.) All the same, pressure from outsiders was so intense, that the school is changing their bullying policy.  There will be sensitivity seminars for adults in charge, and a zero-tolerance attitude suggested for bullies.

These three girls, the softball coach, the superintendent, other players who watched, but didn’t intervene, and others who hand a hand in the abuse or at the very least, didn’t lift a finger to discontinue bullying need to become an example.  The consequences of this unfortunate incident should be harsh to convey that this category of discrimination and cruelty are no longer acceptable in our schools.  Any minority can easily fall victim to abuse from other students.  LGBT youth are especially in perile.  As people, we need to stand up and let these bullies know this antisocial behavior will not be tolerated.  It is unacceptable that these mean kids get away with tourturing their classmates.  School should be a safe place–for all.

4.)  http://www.shoshonenewspress.com/news/article_593b4348-7fdd-11e0-b28f-001cc4c03286.html

3.)  http://www.krem.com/news/Kellogg-changes-bullying-policy-after-students-strip-girl-on-bus-122197854.html

2.) http://silvervalley.kxly.com/news/crime/kootenai-county-sheriff-recommending-charges-kellogg-bus-incident/46316

1.)  http://www.kxly.com/news/27846232/detail.html