I split the songs up on the Lover album as well so we can delve into each one a bit more.
America’s Sweetheart to Miss Americana:
You know I adore you/I’m crazier for you/Then I was at sixteen/Lost in a film scene/Waving homecoming queens/Marching band playing/I’m lost in the lights…/Now I’m feeling hopeless/Ripped up my prom dress/Running through rose thorns…/…No cameras catch my pageant smile…/…Leave with my head hung…/…I’m feeling helpless/The damsels are depressed…/…No cameras catch my muffled cries…/They whisper in the hallway, “she’s a bad, bad girl”…/…And I don’t want you to (go)/I don’t really wanna (fight)/’Cause nobody’s gonna (win)/I just thought you should know/And I’ll never let you (go)…/…Oh, I just thought you should know/You should know/It’s you and me/There’s nothing like this/Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince (okay!)…/…‘Cause I know this is a (fight)/That someday we’re gonna (win)
As Taylor’s competence increased with age, she was perceived as more of a threat:
But the sexism was always there, even when Taylor was viewed as America’s Sweetheart:
Here’s another Lover track that is more easily understood by separating the perspectives/subjects in the song. I’ll show you the parts I mean, then do multi posts on the gay content inside each of those parts.
I Think He Knows
He got that boyish look that I like in a man I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans
It’s like I’m seventeen, nobody understands No one understands
He got my heartbeat
Skipping down 16th Avenue
About Joe/Beard:
He got that boyish look that I like in a man/I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans…/…Skipping down 16th Avenue [Nashville’s music row]
Commentary to herself (Taylor):
It’s like I’m seventeen, nobody understands/No one understands…
Who knew I would need a Trigger Warning for tying Taylor Swift lyrics to ancient Greek & Roman history? But here we are.
***TW: Childhood Sexual Abuse, Rape, grooming, pedophilia***
Note: I am NOT in anyway condoning the behavior and actions described below. Nor, am I accusing Taylor of practicing or endorsing the attitudes and actions described below.
I think Taylor’s use of “boy” to describe Joe (her beard) is a cheeky comparison to a powerful, wealthy man “owning” a teen who benefits from the relationship. The teen was educated in the ways of the upper-class, and introduced to high society enclaves that would be otherwise inaccessible to him. It’s a lot like a bearding relationship: Taylor benefits by paying for a “boyfriend” in order to be normalized in society and Joe/the beard benefits by his connections to Taylor. Both have more successful careers and higher status in the community due to the arrangement. Taylor using “boy” and “baby boy” and “baby love” could be a humorous reference to the earliest forms of homosexuality, “boy-love”
Not a defense of the practice, just a history lesson:
This song isn’t quite a happy reminiscing. There’s both sadness and determination in the lyrics. The thesis is that Taylor has felt alone in every stage of her life: Her dad was MIA during her childhood either physically or emotionally. She was bullied in school at times. Her country label made her feel inadequate by creating her “perfect” alter-ego and hemming in her creativity. Dating men and being a beard made Taylor feel empty. 1989 Era was fun, but felt inauthentic and lonely and Taylor was secretly struggling. After the Kaylor breakup Taylor feels hopeless that she can ever genuinely love, because she sees it as problematic for her career. Currently Joe (her supposed partner) is absent. But because of all the loneliness and isolation, Taylor has honed her writing and furthered her career. Despite not being able to count on anyone aside from her mother, nobody can take away Taylor’s writing skills.
A lot of it has earmarks of the move to NYC and the 1989 Era, but I do think Taylor looks back further in time within the song. She talks about playing in parking lots when she was trying to get started. She may also be looking at her life as a whole and mentioning how she still feels like she’s on her own.
Theory: I hope I can explain what I’m thinking clearly. Taylor wrote the song in a chronological timeline (A-present day, B-1989 Era, C-Nashville, D-parents). Then, to obscure the timeline and subjects within the song she took the most recent (A) and made each line it’s own verse. Then she took 1989 Era (B) and made that the 2nd line of each verse. Then she broke the Nashville (C) into the 3rd line of each verse. And finally she made her childhood/parents (D) the final line of each verse. It’s possible each verse starts at the present (2022), mentions 1989 Era, goes back to Nashville, and ends with her childhood. Instead of AAAA, BBBB, CCCC, DDDD she mixed it to ABCD, ABCD, ABCD, ABCD.
For example:
A-Smoking with your boys could be her current situation with Joe. She’s in a house, not a home, alone. He’s off living his separate life, high like the night they met (Paper Rings).
B-The face Taylor wishes she could touch is Karlie’s but they’ve broken up.
C-The town Taylor wants to leave (for NYC) is Nashville.
D-The only one that can bring Taylor back to TN over a lifetime is her mom.
That might be loosely the formula Taylor used in the song. Does it hold up? See what you think…
Since the subjects of the song are unclear, and may change, and the timeline is not set in stone, I tried to think of all scenarios that could fit each line. Taylor didn’t call and tell me the specifics so I’m trying to gather the keys I do know about in order to get the gist.
Summer went away
Taylor doesn’t tell us the year she’s singing about, just the season. Later in the song she talks about moving out of Nashville so I’m guessing most of this song is about 2014.
Taylor also mentions starving her body in the song and she was at her thinnest during the 1989 era:
Still, the yearning stays
Taylor also does not tell us what type of yearning she’s been feeling, or for how long:
A boy?
Her dad?
To be discovered?
Her family after she moved from TN to NY?
Gay love in general (or Dianna, specifically)?
The word can be used several different ways:
I play it cool with the best of them
I wait patiently
We know Taylor doesn’t sit back, waiting around to make music, or for her career to progress. She takes action and proactively strives for more success. But what then, is Taylor waiting for?
Her Dad?
Tolerate It:
Jake Gyllenhaal?
I don’t know if Jake was a real relationship or beard to cover for Jake’s sexuality and/or the Dianna Agron romance. I used to be certain it was bearding, but when Red (TV) drudged up this decade-old relationship, and Taylor insinuated the red scarf did symbolize her virginity as Swifties suspected, I was no longer sure.
Dianna?
Come Back, Be Here (2012):
He’s gonna notice me
After I read this line I wondered if 2012 Taylor was looking back to the beginning of her career. Is she remembering trying to break into the country music scene? 1989-Era Taylor could be thinking back to her start in country music because she was about to try to fully break into pop music.
Is HE $cott Borchetta or other music execs?
Is HE her dad?
Taylor could be talking about how her dad is always traveling for business, when she’s home, and how he stays home with her brother while she tours. Her mom is involved in her life, but her dad is absent.
Is HE Jake Gyllenhaal?
Whatever they had together, it was on and off:
We are never ever getting back together:
Dianna Agron?
Of course, if Jake was just a bearding situation all of the above applies to Swiftgron.
Come Back, Be Here (2012):
We are never ever getting back together:
It’s okay, we’re the best of friends
Taylor wasn’t really best friends with studio execs, her dad, Jake, OR Dianna (they were very secret lovers) so I’m not sure this line is directly referencing any of the subjects that are options for the previous line.
If this line IS talking about the subject of “he’s gonna notice me” then I think Taylor is contrasting her parents. Her dad doesn’t notice her, but that’s OK because her mom is her best friend.
If “I wait patiently he’s gonna notice me” is her dad and the best friend is her mom the song is describing how Taylor feels a hole in her life and goes to great lengths to put a bandaid over it by gathering friends and fans around her, and focusing on her music career. She is saying because she feels a void in her parental relationships she has spent the time writing and making music which brought her all the friends and fans and fame.
My impression was that this line is doing two things: Talking about the subject of the previous line and being used as a tool to put the story and the listener back in the correct timeline (1989 Era and The Squad). For the latter, Taylor says it’s alright that HE doesn’t notice her because she has formed her own friend group that distracts her and makes her feel better.
Anyway
I hear it in your voice
Is Taylor saying this person is more dismissive when they’re with their friends?
OR
Is she saying the voice literally sounds different when this person is smoking?
Tobacco:
Smoking weed could also change the sound of someone’s voice:
And it’s possible, but not a rule:
You’re smoking with your boys
I couldn’t find any evidence Scott Swift smokes.
I couldn’t find any evidence Scott Borchetta smokes.
I saw Karlie Kloss has NEVER smoked.
Is the smoker a lover/ex?
Jake-
He has smoked for movies, but he also smoked cigars and pipes at some point in time:
Jake G. also has been known to smoke weed:
Dianna-
She has also smoked for roles, and has been seen in public with a box of cigarettes:
I couldn’t readily find anything about Dianna smoking weed, so if she does it seems she does it on the DL.
Joe-
He is the wrong timeline for this song, but I bring him up because Taylor talks about the beginning of her career in the song, so it’s possible she talks about a more current boyfriend/beard leaving her (emotionally) on her own as well.
Joe smokes, but I think the Taylor Swift team cleaned up his image scrubbed the internet to be an appropriate partner for her.
Paper Rings could be talking about meeting Joe and his mates who were high. It would have to be his friends attending the MET Gala according to the most popular timeline of their relationship:
But also, Joe might be a is a cover for Karlie. And that brings us back to the correct timeline for this song: I think Paper Rings is for Karlie, and could allude to the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show where Taylor and Karlie [supposedly] met. Taylor could be talking about how the other models were high at that 2013 show:
I touch my phone as if it’s your face
This gesture seems too romantic in nature to be a studio exec or father. Taylor could have changed subjects after the “he’s gonna notice me” line. It also rules out beards, because she wouldn’t long for their attention-it’s a business relationship. This line, possibly the whole song might be talking about a romantic relationship:
Dianna-
Come Back, Be Here (2012):
Karlie-
It can’t be Karlie because she doesn’t smoke. She wouldn’t be smoking with her boys. It would also require this line to be another time jump, because during the 1989 Era Taylor and Karlie were constantly seen together. It wasn’t until later that Taylor was alone and longing to touch Karlie’s face.
I didn’t choose this town
Nashville?
It was Taylor who wanted to move to Nashville in order to break into the music business. Her parents say they didn’t want to pressure her to succeed, so they let her think the move was their idea.
London or New York?
This could be interpreted two ways: Taylor is talking to someone who lives in London in this song and says she didn’t choose this town (London).
OR
Taylor could be saying Karlie was the one who chose NYC, but she had wanted to move to London.
I dream of getting out
Taylor dreams of leaving the afore-mentioned town?
She never lived in London so she doesn’t dream of moving away.
Taylor seems to have loved NYC until her and Karlie split and she couldn’t bear to be reminded of Kaylor, so if she’s talking about NYC (not a town) it requires another time jump.
That leaves Nashville. Though Taylor wanted/needed to move to TN to get a foot in the door to music, she tired of it quickly. Taylor was bullied in middle school, and she felt constricted in the red state.
There’s just one who could make me stay
A romantic partner/ex?
Dianna-
After 2012, it looks like Dianna was traveling back and forth to Australia, living in CA, and also spending time in the UK. It looks like “staying” isn’t Dianna’s strong suit, so I don’t think this line is about her.
Karlie in NY?
It’s plausible Taylor is saying that Karlie is the only person who could have kept her in the U.S., but I’m not sure because it’s not like Taylor adamantly didn’t want to live in NYC.
All my days
This addendum made me think more about a blood relative, than a romance which is not guaranteed to last a lifetime. Taylor talks about wanting to leave Nashville due to feeling restrained and trapped there. But the one thing that can pull her back through a protracted timeframe is her mom.
Her mom in TN?
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes
Sprinkler splashes brings to mind exuberance and warm sunshine fun. Fireplace ashes alludes to endings. Taylor talks about things burning down in many songs. To her, fire and burning are something scary and awful that destroys. A break-up, panic about being outed, a ruined career:
After this destruction, the ashes are the only remnant of what used to be.
My Tears Ricochet-
Hoax-
In this line Taylor went from happy, sunny fun to the debris left from a fire [drastic cause of destruction]. She could be talking about a combination of things that tie the song together: childhood fun with her parents, or the 4th of July parties The Squad attended, to break-ups.
Her dad?
Taylor’s relationship with her father started out admiring, and considering him a protector of her, “My daddy’s gonna show you how sorry you’ll be.” Later the relationship with her dad was stalled–he was often absent from Taylor’s life. Then he only tolerated her [sexuality?] and finally when he [maybe] cheated on her mom there was not quite estrangement, as he is heavily involved with Taylor’s career, but a schism formed.
$cott Borchetta/studio?
Taylor could secondly be bringing up her relationship with $cott Borchetta and her label at large. Getting signed started out a dream come true, hopeful and exhilarating, ended in oppression, then ruins when he sold her masters.
Jake G.?
He could be an option here as well. Taylor might have gone into it with optimism. Whether she had comp-het and was trying to make a straight coupling work, or if she was thrust into a bearding situation, she seemed sincere in trying to make it work. At the end, Taylor was jaded (either toward men or the bearding process).
Dianna?
She could also work here. Swiftgron was red and passionate, but Dianna was gone all the time, and there may have been cheating on both sides of the relationship, until their romance was obliterated beyond repair.
The Squad?
The time period of this song seems to be mostly the 1989 Era so Taylor could be bringing up The Squad. I think she hired them to distract from her boy crazy image. The 4th of July parties looked mostly like photo-shoots to me. Then after the 1989 Era put friendships in the forefront instead of boys, the group disintegrated and “we’ll never say that word again.”
Karlie?
Lastly, Taylor could be looking at all her relationships throughout her life and evoking how she and Karlie were both made of ashes at the end of Kaylor.
I waited ages to see you there
Taylor describes waiting for whoever she was talking about in the last line over ages. Career-wise she could be talking about from the time she was a child to before she was a household name. Taylor waited a long time, and also over many birthdays to be recognized as the musical prodigy that she is. And the 1989 Era solidified Taylor’s place as a pop star.
Her fans?
Taylor’s father?
He never really came to her shows or awards. Is she saying she waited ages for him to show up for her:
Jake or Dianna?
This line brings to mind, The Moment I Knew:
If Taylor is talking about Jake it brings up the 21st Birthday mythology that he was a no-show.
Dianna was not there a lot of times, which was a central issue in the Swiftgron relationship.
And if she’s talking throughout her life, Taylor could be telling Karlie that when she’s with Jo$h and not her, it wrecks Kaylor.
I search the party of better bodies
The party of beautiful people could be some sort of music networking thing that Taylor went to in order to get known and break into the industry, or even when she was trying to cross over to pop:
The party might be talking about any event Taylor attended with the models. Is she talking about The Squad?
The party could be some awards pre or post party where Jake or Dianna attended. For example Taylor, Dianna, and Lea Michele all went to the 2014 MET Gala:
Just to learn that you never cared
Scott Borchetta/her country label?
The Squad/fake friends/paid PR-
Jake G.?
All Too Well Short Film:
It wasn’t real to him because she was his beard?
But innocent Taylor was not on the same page. She saw a future with Jake, and was shocked when he suddenly broke things off:
You’re on your own, kid
You always have been
I see the great escape
So long, Daisy May
Who is Daisy May, and what characteristics is Taylor trying to highlight?
Daisy Mae Scragg of Lil’ Abner comic strip-
Daisy Mae Dutten of video game Bullworth Academy-
Daisys that aren’t Maes:
Daisy Buchannan of The Great Gatsby-
Like Anti-Hero this may be Taylor’s critical side. She could see herself as these traits when she is in her self-hating mode.
Daisy Kenyon in the film of the same name-
I picked the petals, he loves me not
Or maybe it’s none of those characters, and Taylor (tagged as the daisy) is just referring to herself:
Taylor leaves painful situations to write and to focus on her career ambitions.
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes
I called a taxi to take me there
She is saying she had nobody to drive her because she was on her own. Taylor had to pay someone to take her.
Where is Taylor at and where is she going?
Probably not TN to NYC-
She’s wealthy, but this seems like a long fare.
Maybe she means figuratively. Taylor wants to be a household name, and she does this by bringing a personal touch to her listeners. During the 1989 Era, Taylor called a Taxi company and made an account to pay for all of her fans to get to and from her concert. Gestures like this make for a loyal fan base, which will help Taylor’s music career succeed.
I search the party of better bodies
Aspiring music writers/singers?
Taylor could be looking back at the start of her career during her juncture between country and pop music. She could also be talking about competing with other women for the crown of pop stardom.
Models and actresses joined the squad to bolster their career?
Just to learn that my dreams aren’t rare
You’re on your own, kid
You always have been
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes
I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this
blood-
Sweat-
I really wanted to find out how long Taylor rehearses choreography for shows and tours, but this must be top secret information. Despite trying for hours to Google different key words I couldn’t find anything that specified in any kind of detail how many hours. I imagine it’s a long time.
A general example of rehearsals (not related specifically to Taylor):
Taylor’s purported 3x weekly workout and treadmill schedule:
Tears-
I hosted parties and starved my body
Taylor divulged she had disordered eating in Miss Americana. I read in 2014 that she weighed 132lb. This might not be accurate at all, who knows, but taking that number for an example it puts her BMI at 18.4 (underweight). Also, I know BMI is a bit antiquated and depends on many variables that are not standardized to everyone. But I’m trying to show some kind of quantitative example, so just go with it. At 5’11” Taylor could weigh up to 178lb and be in a healthy weight range, per the BMI calculator.
This is 1989 compared to Reputation:
Like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss
In her country years Taylor had an idealized vision of what love should look like. She seemed to draw from Disney and other fairytales in her youth.
Kisses in Taylor’s songs:
As she got older, Taylor started dating and may have held onto some of that naivety. It seemed like she thought a boyfriend could fix all of her problems. She trusted these guys and seemed genuinely disappointed when they let her down:
Jonas brother-
Jake-
John Mayer-
Later, the boyfriends looked more fake (Tom Hiddleston) and some/all could have been beards. To me, it looks like Taylor was pushed into these showmances and bearding situations (JJ, TL, JG, JM), but then she started hiring her own beards in order to “save” her career from her sexuality. Posing for a photo kissing a man would increase buzz around her music, make her more relatable, (and save Taylor from being outed?).
The jokes weren’t funny, I took the money
What money did Taylor take?
Money from the studio to get started?
Money from fans who believed that Taylor’s genuine stories perfectly matched up with the PR narratives?
Money from celebrities who wanted to hide their sexuality under a beard?
Taylor is tying money to her dating life in this line. She doesn’t like the boy-crazy jokes, BUT she took the money. A definite possibility is that Lautner’s people, Jonas’ people, Jake, and even JM could have paid her for bearding services:
The gossip says that Jake is known for hiring beards:
A meme or a perceptive insight?
My friends from home don’t know what to say
Taylor’s friends are surprised that she is doing inauthentic things they know aren’t in her character in order to grow her career.
I looked around in a blood-soaked gown
The only thing that comes to mind is Carrie:
At first I thought this reference was out of left field, but after reading the following I thought it fit Taylor surprisingly well:
And I saw something they can’t take away
THEY can’t take away Taylor’s writing ability. She honed her skills alone in her bedroom, practiced them in parking lots, and she will always have that.
‘Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned
The pages turned could be moving on to the next chapter of life, for example, the move from Nashville to NYC. This could additionally be talking about leaving relationships.
This is true about her writing/music too. Songs were cut or never added to the album for whatever reason (a lot were too gay).
Everything you lose is a step you take
With every new start something had to end.
Every song in the crypt contributed to the final product of the finished album [writing is editing!]. And those finalized albums are the stepping stones to the great fame Taylor enjoys(?) today.
Is Taylor talking about something specifically here?
Country/Nashville/home roots?
Jake G. (or men in general)?
It wasn’t working out, but that brought Taylor to the Kaylor relationship (women)?
If Jake was a beard, does the above apply to Dianna?
The Squad/fake friends?
So make the friendship bracelets
During the 1989 Era, bracelets were given to the crowd:
A fan gave Taylor a bracelet with pink and blue and purple beads with the word “pride” spelled out. She displayed it prominently in the below photo:
Take the moment and taste it
I don’t know that much about Buddhism, but there is a philosophy within that talks about living in the moment. And it applies a lot to worry and anxiety. The tenants have subjects of the spirituality be aware of their 6 senses (I think heart is the 6th?) in order to be present at this place in time. It relieves worry and regret which focus on present and past.
Less seriously:
You’ve got no reason to be afraid
You’re on your own, kid
Yeah, you can face this
Renegade-
You’re on your own, kid
You always have been
Where does all of this leave us?
I think Taylor is telling us she has a rift between her and her father. But her mom is someone she can trust, and Andrea loves her unconditionally.
Nashville, country music, and her label made Taylor feel constricted and trapped.
Moving to NYC felt like wonderful freedom and breaking into pop catapulted Taylor to the top of the industry. There was a price to pay for that though-starving her body for just one example.
Jake may have hired/(secretly regarded?) Taylor as a beard. Taylor either didn’t know she wasn’t a real GF, or didn’t understand how Jake could remain cold and detached when acting the part made Taylor catch real feelings for him. It’s also a possibility that Taylor already knew she was queer, and the breakup with Jake hit her hard because she was morning the loss of a straight future she would never have.
With Dianna, Taylor knew she needed more. She wanted someone to be present and consistent and loyal, or it left her unhappy. There could also have been the revelation that she could never fight the logistics to be with a woman. Taylor might have been so upset because her career and Dianna (or any woman) could never coexist.
The Squad felt superficial and empty. Even though Taylor was able to have all the friends she wanted as a kid, it wasn’t satisfying and didn’t last.
Kaylor breakup hit Taylor hard and she is still recovering.
Bearding/Joe protects Taylor’s career but she’s living an isolated life, unable to have a true love. That makes Taylor miserable, but she leans on her music to cope.
I know this song is probably about Kelsea, herself. But I found a lot of compelling call-backs to Taylor’s lyrics and life. I think lyrics can have a surface-level meaning, and a deeper, more hidden secondary interpretation. Given Kelsea’s lyrics and videos I also think Kelsea and Taylor were together in some capacity, so Kelsea might have written this song with Taylor in mind.
Hey homecoming queen
Before I get into my research I will tell a story about my high school’s homecoming queen:
My Senior year the school voted Stephanie (name changed to the most common female name in my school for privacy) as our Homecoming Queen. Stephanie had been on cheerleading all 4 years of high school, but she wasn’t the “typical” popular girl represented in movies. I hadn’t thought of her as the most popular girl in school either, though she hung out in the most popular group of girls in my high school. As a matter of fact when her and her sister moved to our small, rural town in seventh grade, everyone made fun of Stephanie (her sister was a grade below so I’m not sure what her experience had been). Stephanie was in my peripheral friend group in middle school and sat with us in English class. She seemed well-intentioned and considerate, but I never knew her very well, because she also seemed uncomfortable and shy. My small class had known each other since kindergarten so anyone new was an anomaly and outsider just because they had already missed so much. I’m sure she felt that. Also, the boys were dicks.
In high school everything changed for her. Stephanie was kind and unproblematic, so she was easy to like. We carpooled to cheerleading practice all summer, and our birthdays are only two days apart so we had that in common. She came to my sixteenth birthday party and was nice to everyone, but we were never the type of friends that told each other secrets or anything like that. I don’t think she got very close with too many people…
Though she was thin, she preferred to base stunts, showing her strength by lifting other girls high in the air. She was determined and practiced hard–she was not in cheerleading just to look cute or gain popularity-though she did both of those things too. Stephanie (and her sister) were the type of pretty that stood out in our year books. They were beautiful and probably could have even modeled if they had wanted to (and had the financial backing to do so). But Stephanie was not just gorgeous, at practice Stephanie was always strong and tough, and I think she had to be resilient outside of practice too. Stephanie’s parents were divorced but lived together for financial reasons. Once her dad came to cheerleading practice drunk and the vice principal had to tell him to leave. The sisters were devastated and embarrassed, but we never heard details or saw anything like that again. You would never know there were family issues or poverty or anything aside from that one small peek into their world. The sisters excelled at academics and participated in cheer, and were well-liked and never let on anything was wrong. Stephanie dated the star kicker on the football team long-term, and they both just seemed nice. I think she leaned on him for support and they were together a lot. Her mom asked him to buy her cigarettes because he was a bit older.
When Stephanie was crowned homecoming queen I was happy for her. I was glad a genuinely kindhearted person won the coveted title. And just to end this little story, based off of Facebook, I think her and her sister both have happy lives. Stephanie joined the Coast Guard (I told you she was gritty and fit!) for a bit and is now married and has at least one child. Her sister got married and looked very happy and may have children as well (IDK I deleted sketchy Facebook so now I don’t know anything about anybody anymore). To sum up, homecoming queens are pretty and popular, but I think they also have to be smart, involved in school, and personable. And they have problems just like the rest of us.
Taylor Swift was never a homecoming queen:
Taylor never got to experience many high school milestones because she was working on her career. Yet, Taylor’s career epitomizes what it is to be the homecoming queen. She is beautiful and popular. Also, Taylor’s celebrity is crafted on the every-girl image. She portrays herself as one of us, and has actually reached out to fans on a “personal” level. Taylor is smart and a role model. She told us in several songs about having the crown during her career.
Adjacent but related:
Part of me feels sorry that Taylor had to miss milestones that mark an (American) teenager’s life. The other part remembers her career has been so exciting, acclimatory, and lucrative that it’s difficult to quite see her as a tragic figure.
Anyway, I can see why Kelsea, an underclassman to Taylor in age and career, might see Taylor as emblematic of a homecoming queen.
Why do you lie/When somebody’s mean?
Common word or intentional call-back to Taylor’s song, Mean?
We know Taylor is afraid of criticism, and is fretful about her public image:
Taylor and Kelsea are 4 years apart in age.
For example in 2003, this legislation was passed:
Since Taylor was 14 years old, a teenager, this might have made an impact on her views of sexuality [socially unacceptable to be anything other than straight]. But Kelsea would have been in elementary school so this might not have even been on her radar. During Ellen DeGeneres’ coming out, and the backlash against her, Taylor would have been around 8 and Kelsea just a tot. Fred Phelps, of “God hates fags” died in 2014 when Taylor was around 24 years old and Kelsea was just getting signed as an artist. Kelsea wasn’t exposed to a lot of things Taylor saw and experienced just that short time earlier, which could explain the different mentalities about queerness. Kelsea sees coming out as something authentic and worth doing, while Taylor sees it as apocalyptic.
Kelsea asks Taylor why do you lie when somebody’s mean, and I think she’s talking about this exact situation. Why do you closet when someone questions your sexuality?
Where do you hide?
Taylor has been indoctrinated by parents, career authorities, and society to hide her sexuality. Tolerate It talks about feeling othered.
This man (her father? The studio execs?) covered up Taylor’s rough edges [barbed wire]. They hid the “bad” [queer] parts of her to make her more acceptable for public consumption.
I wonder if the clues she didn’t see might be Taylor thinking about the gaslighting in Tolerate it— ‘it’s all in your head.’ Taylor shows she has internalized these men’s attitudes somewhat. She wonders if maybe she is interested in boys and just didn’t realize it or notice the signs. She says the narrative would be prettier if there was an invisible string tying her to a fated male soulmate.
Cuttin’ me open could be a cold assessment of Taylor’s attributes and flaws. The mistakes are PR blunders, the demons are her desires to touch women. After these men in authority scrutinize her they “heal” her. But the result isn’t good or great, it’s just fine. The corrections they made to Taylor’s image were OK, fair, tolerable to Taylor the individual…
The men in authority assessed her, saw queerness and deemed it undesirable, and “corrected” it by pushing her into relationships with men [Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve and You’re on Your own now Kid?]. These beards covered up Taylor’s sexuality, but with sharp barbed wire, and bulky chains. It’s not comfortable for her as an individual to wear. And this respectable, passable narrative of being in relationships with guys, tied her to (Joe?)
Do people assume/You’re always alright?/Been so good at smiling/Most of your life/Look damn good in the dress/Zipping up the mess/Dancing with your best foot forward
Taylor hides her pain behind a smile and pretty dress. Her audience does not notice there is deception. The veneer wears on Taylor and she fakes it til she makes it until she can no longer distinguish what is forced upon her and what is her choice. The lines between what her team portrays about her as a brand, and who Taylor the person are get blurry. She’s faked it so long, that she’s made it, and it’s (her brand image) true(?).
This is another statement showing Taylor hides her authenticity to give the people what they want. They don’t notice something is amiss.
Does it get hard/To have to play the part?/Nobody’s feeling sorry for ya
Taylor tells her audience it’s a balancing act that she’s constantly attending to, and it’s not her natural state. But she would do anything, try everything, to keep her fans looking at her.
But what if I told you the world wouldn’t end/If you started showing what’s under your skin/What if you let ’em all in on the lie?/Even the homecoming queen cries
To Kelsea coming out doesn’t seem like a catastrophe. She suggests sharing inner struggles to show everybody has issues. But as Exile says, Taylor is reluctant to come out of the closet (directly):
Hey homecoming queen/How’s things at home?/Still walking on eggshells
I think this is a technique to talk about her own childhood house, her own father, and her own life with plausible deniability. Taylor can distance herself from these statements of an angry father causing her to cry and hide her sexuality by portraying that it’s a friend’s life. Taylor learns at an early age that her dad finds her sexuality problematic so she has to keep that portion of herself hidden.
This person is someone older, who causes Taylor to regress back to a child. The person is/was gone a lot, and she waits for them to return. She says the person is wise, and she seems to trust their take on things. Tolerate it tells us that Taylor’s dad thinks her queerness is a phase or that she’s mistaken. She says she accepts him despite his indiscretions (cheating on her mom?) yet he just tolerates her love.
Because Taylor has been coerced to hide her sexuality from a young age she leads a lonely adult life. Her Dad and the authority figures from the studio taught her their love for her is not unconditional (contrasted to her mom in Sweet Nothing). Their love and acceptance hinges on her success and profitability. They think this sapphic stuff is all in her head and she’s got it wrong so if they just throw her together with a guy so her career (and their money) won’t get blown up. Taylor knows her sexuality is innate, but has to walk on eggshells to appease these men. So she closets and beards to assuage them, until she fakes it til she makes it and it’s true. Now she closets and beards because she’s afraid not to.
When that curtain’s closed
Taylor has been indoctrinated that she can only love in private. When drama ramps up and Taylor feels comforted by another woman, she has to go inside and close the windows to love out of sight.
Again, Taylor’s parents and the studio executives taught her to keep “undesirable” things private, behind closed doors. Even though Taylor is heartbroken and hurting she is still inside with boarded up windows getting drunk alone. She has to depend on her lover to come back to her, instead of chasing the lover outside where others could see. Taylor has to have a lover that agrees to remain invisible.
Did your daddy teach you/How to act tough?
Taylor learned two things from this episode: Her father could be a ruthless defender of her career and money. And if you cross her father or are no longer useful to him, he’ll wrap you in chains and throw you away.
Even as a teen, Taylor knows to hide her sadness and weak emotions. She models her conflict resolution after her dad’s example– aggression.
Or more like your mama?/Sweep it under the rug
Taylor’s mom gave her a really good day. But her solution to Taylor being bullied was taking her shopping until she forgot their names. Andrea sweeps the central issue under the rug and distracts Taylor from her problems, instead of facing them head on.
Look damn good in the dress/Zipping up the mess/Dancing with your best foot forward
Taylor combined the coping strategies of both her parents: Stuff down sad emotions and get revenge (her dad’s influence) and look pretty and go dancing to distract yourself (her mom’s way).
Did you want the crown/Or does it weigh you down
When Taylor was young, she was excited to finally realize her dreams. She got off the sidelines and went to center stage, showing off her crown to the whole town.
During Reputation era, Taylor realized how difficult the crown was to hold on to. One mistake and it was taken away. She learned people are fickle and it’s difficult to have staying power in the cut-throat entertainment industry.
Taylor also figured out the crown was only given to one person, and that person needed to represent perfection. And she talks about the homophobes with their signs, knowing that her sexuality, if revealed, could get her crown taken away.
Nobody’s feeling sorry for ya
The media used You’re not Sorry against Taylor. They turned a break-up song into a woman always playing victim narrative. [Sidenote- I am only talking about song lyrics here, not any other quotes or actions in Taylor’s wider life]. If a man wrote this would it be weaponized against him?
The big names on this list tell us that men are not held to the same lyrical standards. Men can play the victim to cunning, or gold-digging women, be openly misogynistic, and it’s written off. It’s just one song. Boys will be boys. But women are scrutinized and judged more.
What if I told you the world wouldn’t end/If you started showing what’s under your skin?/What if you let ’em all in on the lie?/Even the homecoming queen cries
Kelsea tries to convey that times have changed, and coming out is no longer career ending. But Taylor knows love is conditional. She has been programmed to hide anything negative in order to preserve her fame.
The Archer substantiates that Taylor has struggled with her sexuality long-term, and she closets to cope. “The room is on fire, invisible smoke” is talking about that struggle. The fire is the worst outcome–It’s getting burned by coming out or worse, being outed.
The kiss in a crowded room was an important, life-changing event. But it’s not the only event where Taylor was nearly or partially outed (a fire) and she panicked and shut it down to salvage her image and career. Taylor spirals into the anxious thought that her sexuality will accelerate her losing everyone and everything
Yeah, what if I told you the sky wouldn’t fall?/If you lost your composure, said to hell with it all
Kelsea thinks Taylor’s fears are a bit dramatic. She articulates the ridiculousness of the notion that the world would fall apart if Taylor was truthful in public. Kelsea believes it would be relatable for Taylor to show her more authentic self. But Taylor isn’t just embellishing her fears to convey a more dramatic story. She actually has deep-rooted panic about what would happen if she was publicly sapphic.
Not everything pretty sparkles and shines
It’s a call back to Our Song, one of Taylor’s first songs. Kelsea is also pointing out their different perspectives. Kelsea says some pretty things aren’t sparkly, shiny, and flawless. There is beauty in the imperfection. Taylor was reared on idealized love fairytales and purity. She knows to hide undesirable things away.
And even the homecoming queen cries/Oh yeah/Even the homecoming queen cries/Hey homecoming queen/Why do you lie?
Taylor lies and then cries because she has internalized the lessons from her parents and the (country) music industry. Renegade broaches the subject of Taylor’s internal homophobia. She fires off arrows and missiles because she hates her inherent queerness. Taylor’s attitudes damage herself and those in close proximity to her. The lover that sings this song says Taylor has come a long way, but gets weak and reverts to the negative thinking and closeting whenever she faces a perceived threat. The lover questions if Taylor’s extreme reluctance to open the blinds (come out) is due to anxiety or if she just doesn’t actually want a life with this person? Something is stopping Taylor from giving her lover the family she craves, and Taylor’s baggage is negatively impacting the lover’s mindset too. This girlfriend has no place carved out in Taylor’s life, but persists despite the invisibility. She begs Taylor to get her shit together so she can love her. But Taylor only squeezes the lover’s hand when the lover is about to leave.
When somebody’s mean/Where do you hide?
And to finish off the song I give you the most obvious tie-in from Kelsea’s “where do you hide” choice of wording to I Know Places, a song about the panic of being outed. Taylor’s instinct is not to come out, but to take her girlfriend and hide from curious onlookers and intrusive questions.
Remember we’re looking at words in the lyrics of Question… to try to decipher who and what and when.
We’ve almost gone through the entire song, pulling lyrics containing the same words to get a sort of consensus or feeling about Taylor’s intention.
Now that we’re toward the end of Question… lyrics, we need to address the central part of the song: Kiss in a crowded room. And the kiss really brings to mind Dancing with our Hands Tied and maybe Kissgate.
We will analyze Dancing with our Hands Tied to see if it parallels Question….
Except this particular line within Dancing with our Hands Tied got a bit long because I really don’t know for sure and there was no solid direction to take the analysis. I will go into it in detail in this post so the guesses don’t overwhelm the analysis of the song as a whole.
And I’ll spell out my conclusions from this post in the full analysis of Dancing with our Hands Tied. But that post was getting very long and I was afraid nobody would read it. So to make things even more confusing each line in DWOHT is going to be its OWN post. But then I’ll do a main DWOHT post with just links to each different post. It’s a whole big thing.
Then we’ll get back to the end of Question…
Was that explanation as confusing as trying to guess who Taylor’s songs are about?
If I could dance with you again
This is a regretful thought after the fact. Taylor and her lover have stopped dancing. It’s the literal dancing of Kissgate, but “Dance” is also being unbothered and happy-go-lucky in her queerness. It’s a state Taylor enters only with this specific person per Holy Ground (Question… [Part 17]). In other songs, Taylor uses the word, “dance” to show intimacy between two people. In Dancing with our Hands Tied, Taylor is telling her ex-girlfriend what she would do if they could resume dancing.
Taylor knows she left her lover hanging, and it’s her fault both of them are depressed. Even though this is the central person in Taylor’s life she never acknowledges them publicly. Taylor uses “universe” in other songs to show how far away she seems to the lover.
Fear causes Taylor’s priorities to be misaligned. Her lover feels neglected, lonely, awkward, forgotten, and depressed when Taylor does her celebrity thing (and the closeting that goes with it). Taylor’s closeting relegated her lover to the background. Since that is her gay-panic default behavior, the lovers aren’t surprised, but it ruins the relationships nonetheless.
Taylor can’t let go of her soulmate–she’s a hostage to her feelings. Despite her anxiety about gay-stigma, she does love this woman. But Taylor is torn: Her back is against the wall in regards to maintaining her public image–she must beard to be seen as straight and make money. Taylor never makes her secret sapphic love her centerfold, thus her lover is a flight risk.
Even with the threat of losing her beloved, it always comes back to Taylor’s career (Question… [Part 9]). The shades of gray surrounding Taylor speak to a situation so complex it has to be deciphered with nuance (Question… [Part 13]). Taylor had confusion, indecision, and doubt, letting her fear drive her actions. She fears for her image and how being LGBT might jeopardize business, so Taylor pushes her lover away, despite wanting to hold onto her. It puts their relationship in this gray area too.
And she loses these relationships to internalized homophobia and the closet time and time again (Question… [Part 10]). During the break-ups Taylor is emotionally raw. She oscillates between sadness, reminiscing, empathy, and anger. Drinking and getting drunk mark Taylor’s journey of grief after the split (Question… [Part 11]). Without her lover, Taylor is in the gray of sadness, loneliness, and isolation (Question… [Part 13]).
That’s why Taylor is thinking about what she would have done if she could do the whole thing again.
Remember we’re looking at words in the lyrics of Question… to try to decipher who and what and when.
We’ve almost gone through the entire song, pulling lyrics containing the same words to get a sort of consensus or feeling about Taylor’s intention.
Now that we’re toward the end of Question… lyrics, we need to address the central part of the song: Kiss in a crowded room. And the kiss really brings to mind Dancing with our Hands Tied and maybe Kissgate.
We will analyze Dancing with our Hands Tied to see if it parallels Question….
Except this particular line within Dancing with our Hands Tied got a bit long because I really don’t know for sure and there was no solid direction to take the analysis. I will go into it in detail in this post so the guesses don’t overwhelm the analysis of the song as a whole.
And I’ll spell out my conclusions from this post in the full analysis of Dancing with our Hands Tied. But that post was getting very long and I was afraid nobody would read it. So to make things even more confusing each line in DWOHT is going to be its OWN post. But then I’ll do a main DWOHT post with just links to each different post. It’s a whole big thing.
Then we’ll get back to the end of Question…
Was that explanation as confusing as trying to guess who Taylor’s songs are about?
Swaying as the room burned down
Taylor continues the fantasy of what she wished she would have done in her regretful re-do of the situation: Taylor would have kept dancing (other songs told us this means uninhibited/free and romantically affiliated with her lover) (Question… [Part 17]). Taylor, despite fears of her career going up in flames, would have embraced her lover openly, indifferent to everyone looking.
This has been a lifelong struggle for Taylor, and she sings way back in 2008 that it’s bothering her. Taylor feels lonely at her new apartment in Fifteen. When Taylor is saying never grow up, it’s interesting she brings up being burned and scarred by love as her primary concern. Does Taylor wish she never grew up, because when she was little (seven and prior) she didn’t know she was gay? She was just her, no stigma, and she wishes she could go back to that? In the song, Taylor spirals into the anxious thought that everything she has will be gone at some point. Taylor fears that her sexuality will accelerate her losing everyone and everything (Question… [Part 10]).
The Archer further substantiates that Taylor has struggled with her sexuality long-term, and she closets to cope. “The room is on fire, invisible smoke” is talking about that struggle. The fire is the worst outcome–It’s getting burned by coming out or worse, being outed (Question… [Part 16]). The smoke is a whiff of what could happen–it precedes fire. She has to be very, very sneaky about hiding the gay-affair, or he (a husband, prying eyes, the media) will burn their house of love down.
The kiss in a crowded room was an important, life-changing event. But it’s not the only event where Taylor was nearly or partially outed (a fire) and she panicked and shut it down to salvage her image and career. This feared fire is talking about getting outed in any scenario, Taylor just uses this specific example for Dancing with our Hands Tied and Question… because a specific story makes for better writing than talking in generalities. This sentiment is bigger than any single moment in time.
When Taylor is caught kissing a woman, her fears come to fruition. She imagines the worst outcome, and is anxious, but the consequences are all in her mind so far. That’s the smoke. A prelude to the actual bad event. It’s Taylor’s anxieties and fears. Taylor can’t stand the heat, is constantly afraid of the impending fire, and the invisible smoke (ruminations of the worst case scenarios) hangs over her (Question… [Part 16]). Every time Taylor is gay on main and too many people notice– the smoke becomes perceptible.
When there’s only smoke, there is time to quell any fire. That’s the damage control by Taylor’s PR team and Taylor’s own overcorrections when things look too queer. She wants to keep her fans and fame, but the recompense hurts her relationship with the woman. When Taylor pushes her straightness by lying and amping up the bearding, her lover is hurt by the closeting. For instance, Karlie stares at Joe like he’s an understudy, knowing that she would fight (Bad Blood) for Taylor. A million lies and many chances are breaking the branches that this relationship so carefully balances on. All the closeting and hiding chips away at the love. Taylor’s smoke ruins her most important romantic relationships every time. Recently, Karlie suggests in Ivy that Kaylor take a risk and stay together. Even with the “husband” in the picture (“drink my husband’s wine” = Jo$h’s wine).
But Taylor is afraid of being out. In Delicate Taylor also says shedoesn’t wanna share, and the politics of it would hurt Taylor’s image. Consequently, Cardigan talks about how Taylor’s secret lover finally “ran like water” “steppin’ on the last train” because of Taylor’s stipulations (must be private, and it’s me or him) (Question… [Part 16]).
Which brings us back to Daylight: “clearing the air I breathed in the smoke.” The smoke Taylor breathes in when trying to clear the air is Taylor holding onto imagined negative outcomes. She is hypervigilant about running damage control and overcorrecting any even slightly gay situation. The pain of picking closeting over the love of her life, time and time again, makes Taylor feel asphyxiated (Question… [Part 16]).
Remember we’re looking at words in the lyrics of Question… to try to decipher who and what and when.
We’ve almost gone through the entire song, pulling lyrics containing the same words to get a sort of consensus or feeling about Taylor’s intention.
Now that we’re toward the end of Question… lyrics, we need to address the central part of the song: Kiss in a crowded room. And the kiss really brings to mind Dancing with our Hands Tied and maybe Kissgate.
We will analyze Dancing with our Hands Tied to see if it parallels Question….
Except this particular line within Dancing with our Hands Tied got a bit long because I really don’t know for sure and there was no solid direction to take the analysis. I will go into it in detail in this post so the guesses don’t overwhelm the analysis of the song as a whole.
And I’ll spell out my conclusions from this post in the full analysis of Dancing with our Hands Tied. But that post was getting very long and I was afraid nobody would read it. So to make things even more confusing each line in DWOHT is going to be its OWN post. But then I’ll do a main DWOHT post with just links to each different post. It’s a whole big thing.
Then we’ll get back to the end of Question…
Was that explanation as confusing as trying to guess who Taylor’s songs are about?
Oh, through an avalanche?
An avalanche is a sudden onslaught/deluge of an overwhelming amount of snow sliding down a mountain. Once the motion stops, the snow settles like concrete, suffocating anything underneath. An avalanche is extremely destructive, often leveling an entire slab of ecosystem and leaving no survivors.
The use of “avalanche” to describe dancing with a woman in public demonstrates the authenticity of Taylor’s alarm. She wants to be regarded as the ‘good girl’ and remain a famous pop-star. She is distressed that her sexuality will leave an empty slab, leveling her career and suffocating her and everyone around her. Taylor can’t let herself go rogue, and come out of the closet for fear of losing everything.
She dances around it, and tells white lies to protect herself from this abominable outcome. But as will be the case throughout her love life, the deceit along with overthinking and assumptions crush every relationship. The avalanche didn’t raze her career, it pulverized Taylor’s sapphic relationships instead (Question… [Part 4]).
And say, say that we got it
This lover came into Taylor’s life and offered emotional and physical love, gaining Taylor’s trust. There was mutual devotion for every part of the other–in private. All Taylor’s sadness was rectified and regaled to the background by the intense romance these two shared. The stars around scars in Cardigan symbolize positivity, warmth, and love. The scars are still there, but those positive feelings were able to supersede the pain (Question… [Part 15]). It’s not just Taylor and her lover that notice their compatibility. Their love is palpable, noticeable by most. Their friends, the media, and YouTube viewers can see their undeniable chemistry.
But as time goes on, the predicaments outnumber the happy times. The crescent moon in Ivy shows the passage of time through the changing phases of the moon. Though there are accumulating detriments to this sapphic relationship, neither woman is ready to break-up. Taylor still loves her girlfriend despite all the “fights and flaws.” And in Peace, Karlie doubles down on her love and level of commitment. Karlie says she will warm Taylor’s heart to cast off Taylor’s waves of depression. The love Karlie feels for Taylor is not for show, and even though Kaylor has many, many dilemmas, Karlie would sit in the trenches with Taylor, give her a child and she would even die for Taylor. But time has passed and the affair has to adapt. The moon phases and seasons passing in that song shows the end of this romance is imminent (Question… [Part 15]).
Remember we’re looking at words in the lyrics of Question… to try to decipher who and what and when.
We’ve almost gone through the entire song, pulling lyrics containing the same words to get a sort of consensus or feeling about Taylor’s intention.
Now that we’re toward the end of Question… lyrics, we need to address the central part of the song: Kiss in a crowded room. And the kiss really brings to mind Dancing with our Hands Tied and maybe Kissgate.
We will analyze Dancing with our Hands Tied to see if it parallels Question….
Except this particular line within Dancing with our Hands Tied got a bit long because I really don’t know for sure and there was no solid direction to take the analysis. I will go into it in detail in this post so the guesses don’t overwhelm the analysis of the song as a whole.
And I’ll spell out my conclusions from this post in the full analysis of Dancing with our Hands Tied. But that post was getting very long and I was afraid nobody would read it. So to make things even more confusing each line in DWOHT is going to be its OWN post. But then I’ll do a main DWOHT post with just links to each different post. It’s a whole big thing.
Then we’ll get back to the end of Question…
Was that explanation as confusing as trying to guess who Taylor’s songs are about?
I knew there was no one in the world who could take it
It always comes back to Taylor’s career, and how her queerness is the antithesis to that success.
MusicMusingAndSuch is almost there. Taylor is talking about about her personal life alienating fans. It’s a lot of pressure to be a mainstream artist and household name. Taylor’s real life impacts her celebrity.
Taylor views her sexual orientation as a curse and haunting. She paces like a ghost, fretful and unable to sleep (Question… [Part 6]). She prioritizes public image and her brand so she is not authentic to Taylor, the individual. Mirrorball describes how Taylor shows every different person what they want to see: Wearing punishing heels that chafe her skin and leave her feet aching, while shimmering for her audience, the media, the general public… She shatters and bleeds, but nobody recognizes or cares about the pain, they just discern her sparkle.
The strain must be grueling, but Taylor endures it fearing the end is near. Taylor’s focus is on building and maintaining her music legacy, though this impedes her love life over and over.
She will do anything to avoid becoming outdated or worse, scorned (Question… [Part 11]). The the repeated pattern of behavior that makes Taylor depressed, is hiding her sexuality, and most important relationships. Sparks Fly shows Taylor’s internal thought process. She regards sapphic love as problematic, yet desires a woman’s touch. But in the back of her mind is the reaction of the public–she’s never truly free to love.
But the women Taylor seriously dated got under her skin and will impact her forever.
Taylor knows it’s unfair to ask anyone to closet with her (“who could stay?”) but desperately wants to hold onto her (“help me hold onto you”). YOU her lover and the fans.
Like it was the first time, first time
There are multiple first times that can apply: When Taylor felt the difference between comp-het and real sapphic love. This awakening lacquered her in exhilaration, varnishing over her repression.
Taylor also remembers the first time she danced with a woman. Her anxious emotional state was replaced with intense feelings.
Thirdly, Taylor is talking about feeling conflicted about being uninhibited with her girlfriend in public. She’s excited to be open, yet losing control makes her panic (Question… [Part 3]).
Remember we’re looking at words in the lyrics of Question… to try to decipher who and what and when.
We’ve almost gone through the entire song, pulling lyrics containing the same words to get a sort of consensus or feeling about Taylor’s intention.
Now that we’re toward the end of Question… lyrics, we need to address the central part of the song: Kiss in a crowded room. And the kiss really brings to mind Dancing with our Hands Tied and maybe Kissgate.
We will analyze Dancing with our Hands Tied to see if it parallels Question….
Except this particular line within Dancing with our Hands Tied got a bit long because I really don’t know for sure and there was no solid direction to take the analysis. I will go into it in detail in this post so the guesses don’t overwhelm the analysis of the song as a whole.
And I’ll spell out my conclusions from this post in the full analysis of Dancing with our Hands Tied. But that post was getting very long and I was afraid nobody would read it. So to make things even more confusing each line in DWOHT is going to be its OWN post. But then I’ll do a main DWOHT post with just links to each different post. It’s a whole big thing.
Then we’ll get back to the end of Question…
Was that explanation as confusing as trying to guess who Taylor’s songs are about?
And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis
Taylor says they went from friends to this and she has dirty dreams about this former friend, turned lover in Paper Rings. Taylor also reveals that her and Karlie have a private relationship inside her room, in King of my Heart, because the boys never took her where Karlie does [same, girl] (Question… [Part 2]).
By definition, an oasis is in the middle of an arid land. Taylor is describing her life as a desert. She’s alone in a harsh environment that lacks necessities, and is dangerous. This person revived Taylor and supplied the love she needed to survive.
End Game describes how the body is gold, the eyes make Taylor drunk on love, and this person has captured her very soul.
But at the same time Taylor can’t forget all the drama and how her reputation suffered. Because the couple represents a vilified form of love, Taylor feels she has to conceal the relationship. Still, Taylor was unable to leave this illicit romance even though closeting is depressing.
Time and time again Taylor chose her career and the closet over her lovers, and all she’s left with is memories and regrets [Question… [Part 10]).
People started talking, putting us through our paces
Taylor’s career is never far from her mind, and she worries how people will judge her. She has to worry about media scrutiny as well. Taylor knows if she dated a woman (publicly) it would be a big conversation, and there would be a lot of negative reactions. Even when she’s swept away by the strongest desires for women, Taylor is still worried about public disapproval [Question… [Part 14]).
A lot of external quagmires such as Snakegate have pulled Taylor down in addition to her hesitation over her sexuality (Question… [Part 15]). She has dealt with frenemies who betrayed her, so Taylor has a difficult time trusting people. Sadly, Taylor is not really all that close to anyone, except for her mom, and (at times) her baby.
Taylor’s super-fame is not relatable and it isolates her. So many of Taylor’s friends (her publicist, Tree, for example) are people on her pay-role, or mutually beneficial superficial work friends. The other people around Taylor are in the background just getting drunk, high, and laughing. But these people cannot be counted on (“we’ll never say that word again”). There are queer friends who have the same trauma as Taylor, but because of closeting she can’t truly and openly be too close to them (Question… [Part 5]). Taylor’s support system is connected with her brand, so Taylor the person is overlooked. As a result, Taylor’s romantic relationships suffer. She is too focused on external opinions and validation, and her lovers are relegated to the back-burner a lot of times. Taylor uses “universe” to show how far away she seems to her lover in Coney Island (Question… [Part 15]).
Since Taylor just can’t/won’t come out and live openly, and she’s left feeling alone and melancholy.
I saw my first entry on this subject pop up on my recently read posts, and thought it was high time I addressed the feedback I received for it. I know people got a bit heated, and denied that they were entitled in any way. My word choice may have been misogynistic and overly harsh, but what I was trying to say holds true. I stand by my assertion that people with access to veterinary school ARE privileged.
The thing about privilege, is that if you have it, it’s invisible to you. White males don’t know the struggles they are not made to face in this patriarchal society. They have worked to get where they are, but just don’t know how other people are trying to climb out of their circumstances. Veterinarians feel like they struggled, and worked hard (and they did). BUT if you don’t have barriers such as race or poverty where you have to start out in a hole, on lower ground–you don’t know.
As a crude example of privilege, everyone probably struggles to write their resume and secure that job interview. It’s a pain, there’s a lot of details, and you have to work to get noticed by potential employers. But think about if your name is Mohammad. That person has to contend with racial bias right out of the gate. You and Mohammad are working equally as hard on writing your resume in order to snag an interview, but Mohammad’s very name puts him at a disadvantage you (Jason, Jenny) have never dealt with. That’s the privilege I’m talking about when I say it’s spoiled, rich girls that are the ones getting into veterinary school. I’m calling out the rich guys just as much, but demographically females are the more numerous sex currently in the field.
Here’s a rundown why I can see the privilege in veterinary medicine: I had to pay my own tuition, rent, car, utilities-everything. Therefore, I HAD to make an income. And I didn’t have the advantage of test prep, for example. I DID have the advantage of some time to gain observation hours, and ability to purchase chemistry and physics tutors. Some people can’t afford those things and it does make things more difficult for them. I did not, however, have the luxury of a lot of study time. Working to pay bills is a lot different than part time work to gain experience (when bills are safely paid by Daddy and Mommy). And getting a co-signer for loans is something not everyone can do–my parents co-signed private undergrad loans for me. I was precluded from federal by their income, despite the fact they were not financially helping me, until I was 24 years old–far from a minor child! And they did NOT want to co-sign any more loans because the undergrad interest rates are egregious.
What I’m saying is it was tough to watch people with privilege deny it exists. It sucked to see several people in the pre-vet club no-show to most meetings and events, but write down the club and get into school over me. Meanwhile, I was actually showing up despite having to also be employed to pay my own way. It was difficult to watch Ashley have drug and alcohol problems, and her mom literally had to attend chemistry lecture with her to ensure she showed up to class. But because she could ride with the equine vet, while I did mere barn crew work to pay my bills, for example, her application looked better than mine. And it was disheartening to see Melissa’s daddy buy her a second car (on top of paying her full tuition) when she hit a deer on a hunting trip and totaled the first car he bought her. When I was pouring brake fluid in my car every morning in order to make it to work, because I couldn’t afford to repair it. She, like Ashley, had a lot of time to study because she didn’t have to work, and only worked a few hours a week for a couple years of college. And I liked Justina and got her a job at the hospital I worked at for 6 years. But it was rough to see her go from full time (unemployed) student to working part time in her final year of college, and get into vet school over me. And I gave the side-eye to a guy I was dating and his best friend, veterinary students who didn’t hold jobs, but did have the time to be involved in the rave scene, and everything that goes along with that. They even attended Bonnaroo festival every year, if that tells you the level of financial support they had. Those are the financial situations I saw make it into vet school over me.
So you can see why I might be disgruntled that I jumped through a lot of hoops to gain residency in a state that had a vet school, while my competitors were lucky enough to be born there, (their parents) paying in-state tuition. And why I might be bitter that I did actual hard work in animal jobs while someone standing next to the vet for a day was given priority. And angry that I had to give up my seat in veterinary school for lack of co-signer, when other peers didn’t pay a dime for anything in undergrad so they were just taking out their FIRST loans for vet school…
It impacts the profession. The privileged have higher work satisfaction expectations and don’t know how to tough things out as well as people who are forced to scrape by. For example, the gal I told you about earlier, Melissa couldn’t work as hard. She about crumbled when we had to work overtime for a week because of high demand. She did the OT, but didn’t show up on time for her own shift at the end of the week. She was tired and not used to being forced to hustle like that. And being called out made her disgruntled. The privileged have not eeked out a living in the same way, holding 3 jobs (because they HAD to) and forgoing relaxation and pleasure, so they don’t do that in the career either.
I didn’t go through vet school, but as an employee trying to help, and as a client, trying to get my pets care, I have seen evidence of how this admissions trend has impacted the field. People who didn’t experience as much hardship, and had a relatively easier time getting into and through vet school, run their career with that mentality–it’s what they know. Privileged people leave school with that same sense of entitlement and I worked for a vet that was 7AM to 4PM, no weekends or holidays at all, because she wanted to ski.
A lot of people are going into the field with the expectation of being able to balance work and family. They want part time work, or free weekends, or to leave at closing time. Full lunches, days off, yet a full paycheck is not that practical of an expectation the way the field is currently run, and either someone else is taking up that slack, or the animal care is impacted. Those basic worker rights and niceties don’t seem like a lot to ask to people with the perspective of an office job. But like the Covid nurses having to do ridiculous things to keep up, the veterinary field just requires a tremendous amount of time and commitment for very little money (I don’t make the rules). You’d have to change a lot of systemic things to change that fact. In the mean time, working late, over a lot of days is what’s needed. And that’s known before you get into school, and these privileged people go through with it anyway. If veterinarians want more work/life balance and are working reduced hours (because they’re used to having leisure time) but the demand for animal care is growing, that means more of an assembly line mentality.
I know first hand as both employee and client that animals have been lost in the shuffle:
My one boss left me (an assistant) in sketchy situations that were over my head, and detrimental to patients, because she couldn’t be bothered to show up on weekends. But her daddy was some kind of international lawyer, so she was accustomed to having an easy way through life, and leaning on other people. And it showed in the way she conducted herself in her million dollar hospital.
Vets are booked (too) heavily, and less available. “Exams” are being performed in the treatment area to cut corners and save time–quantity over quality. One of Goose’s vets didn’t report the results of bloodwork for an entire week. And Goose’s blood pressure was wildly out of control because of slipshod, rushed diagnostics. His blindness went undiagnosed for over two years for the same reasons.
My first post was based on anecdotal experience, and did not give data to substantiate what I saw and went through. Here, I’ll share some snippets of articles and research proving what I said back then IS true. I mean, this isn’t written like a scientific article, appropriately cited, but you can see research proves what I’m saying.
If you/your family have less money to start with, and you have to pay your own way–you’re at a disadvantage.
Students with the time/help to get straight As will be at the top of the admissions list. Those that can also devote time to gaining experience, outside of a paid job, have an advantage.
The state you were born should NOT impact your ability to get into veterinary school!
Under 6 thousand is a drop in the bucket. And the people that already face the disadvantage of having to earn an income (thus not gaining that diverse, unpaid, experience in the field) aren’t getting the scholarships as frequently. Those who can’t afford not to work during vet school, can’t even think about joining the field.
*^*THIS*^*
That’s exactly right. Your geography and family’s income impacts your ability to amp up your vet school application. That precludes people in urban areas, sparsely populated areas, people without access to transportation, people who are forced to get a job, on and on.
People that don’t have to worry about necessities are the ones with the ability to put together a great application, pay tuition while not holding a job, and enter the field under dire debt-to-income ratios.
This isn’t the fault of vet school admissions committees, but there should be some sort of plan in the profession to make this situation more reasonable.
Who can DO that without assistance of some kind? How are these people paying rent? Of course veterinarians are a privileged group. Otherwise they would be homeless based on these numbers.
The lack of racial diversity in the veterinary field in directly tied to the admissions process. If you are disadvantaged, you have a much bigger hill to overcome, more barriers to filling your application than others. Yes, everyone who got into vet school worked hard, but also they started out in the middle, or even toward the top of that hill. And honestly, you need to check yourself if you are triggered by me saying it.
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