A Brief Interruption A Slight Malfunction

When there was a gun fight immediately outside our windows, then not a police interview, detailed news article, or care from the community I couldn’t understand how people could be so apathetic.

After living here a year I’ll spell out the desensitization process:

[PS I have much more to say about all of this, but this is just a quick summary.]

In AZ I got crime alert emails. I checked a 3 mile radius around our house. There was mostly stolen bikes or an occasional fight, but I’d say I would have a list of about 8 incidents per week.

In Saint Louis, I have the same brand crime alerts. I have the radius set at 1 mile and I get 2-3 alerts per day with 7-8 incidents each. At first I read them all. Now, I only engage with the alerts within 3 blocks of the apartment–otherwise it’s just too much.

*

Something huge and scary happens (a 14 person machine gun fight immediately outside of your windowed loft).

There is no substantial response or follow-up.

The community downplays it (see my Reddit thread on a different post). The loft, police, media all ignore it.

We never found out who/why or what came of it, but now there is a bullet hole in our car.

*

We pay for a parking spot within the locked gates. My 1999 car was broken into anyway.

The apartment didn’t tell us if they checked the video, and we don’t know if the person was caught.

It took like 9 weeks for the window to be replaced because everyone has busted out windows. Now that it’s “fixed” we can’t ever roll that window down because it won’t go up again.

We called the police to file a report and 2 officers came by then chatted with us for a long time:

Me: Do you know what happened when there was a shootout here???

LE: When? Naw, we weren’t working.

ME: There’s gunshots a lot around here. I called 9-11 two other times when I heard them?!

LE: Oh yeah, it IS Saint Louis. It’s actually pretty good up North, people there are really part of a community.

ME: Ummm, Reddit said there were automatic guns–do you guys see automatics?

LE: Oh yeah [said like, duh, obviously].

*

Then, our storage units in the apartment building were broken into. My $300 Sorrel snowboots, $130 Roxy snowboard jacket, and $100 snowboard/bike helmet were stolen. Among other things.

The apartment did not send a text like they do about parking, we don’t know if they checked the cameras or key fob memory–and they certainly didn’t tighten security in the storage area.

We made a police report, and he came, looked incredibly bored, did not even step onto the property let alone go inside to see the broken storage doors, and didn’t say they would investigate.

Nothing came of it.

*

There were more gunshots. When I called 911 they asked if I could SEE the guns. No. OK, let us know…

Nothing came of it.

*

At Christmas, a package of hand-knitted scarves and (MY ULTIMATE FAVORITE) homemade peanut butter bon bons was stolen.

The apartment didn’t tell us if they looked at the camera footage or not. And the mail room was not made more secure.

The USPS assured me they had delivered the package and closed the case without doing anything else.

We didn’t even call the police. If they didn’t care about hundreds of dollars worth of belongings stolen, they weren’t going to care about scarves and treats.

*

On my email alerts it said someone was raped. IN OUR building! We couldn’t find anything else about it.

We started leaving the loft in pairs, and only during daylight.

*

More shooting. And a fight. Should we even bother to call 9-11? I did. Can you see the gun? Yes. Is it being pointed at anyone? Yes, he’s standing on the floorboard of his car, swinging it around at multiple people. But nobody was even sent over (this is 11AM on a Tuesday). No word what happened. I got an email alert and they had listed my call under “sundry.”

We texted the apartments and they asked which cars. We never heard if they looked at the cameras, or if the gunman got in any kind of trouble…

*

One winter evening I was closing the blinds at 5PM and the next block over there was a car on fire. I called 9-11 and they said fire was on their way. The firetrucks showed up, put the fire out, and went on their way in less than 30 minutes.

It wasn’t on the news, or the neighborhood app. It was not even listed in my crime alert emails. We have no idea what happened…

Nothing came of it.

*

We work from home and around 10AM there was chaotic knocking on the door to our loft. We weren’t expecting anyone so we hung back. A few minutes later someone tried their key. Luckily, we have a security bar wedged up when we’re home. We didn’t know who it was!

We texted and called the apartment management and heard nothing back… For 3 days.

In the interim, somebody used their key without knocking in the afternoon.

Another day, I had gone to bed and was sleeping, and Cool said they used their key again (without knocking) trying to get inside!

At no time did this person/people announce themselves.

Finally, the manager called back and said inspections are in our lease, but he would talk to the guys about knocking. He wouldn’t tell us WHY we were being inspected.

Nobody ever came back.

Nothing came of it.

*

I read a news report that a homeless man was sitting on the sidewalk across from the courthouse/DMV/registrar/etc.., etc… (less than a mile from our apt) late-morning, with a lot of people out and about. Someone shot him in the head point blank and someone else posted the video to Twitter.

The case is ongoing.

*

That said, when we ordered wedding-type rings and they were not delivered inside of the mailbox, but stolen instead–we didn’t even bother making a police report.

Again, the apartment didn’t care. We don’t know if they checked the cameras. I persistently contacted them, and they told me to file an insurance claim…

Nothing came of it around here though.

*

Isn’t it funny after reading that your first sense is to blame the victim? You should’ve known, YOU moved there, why don’t you just move? And maybe your second inclination is to say it’s systemic, or it’s just as bad in other places, or bringing up politics, gun-control. But none of that is helpful. I (everyone) should have an expectation of being safe-end of story.

So there you have it. When so many, many things happen. When BIG things happen. People stop calling the police. Because this event is actually better than that last one. Or they don’t call because they know the dispatcher will mark the call “sundry” or police won’t come out at all, or they’re busier with larger matters. People stop telling their housing manager because it’s made obvious that not only do they NOT care one iota, they’re not going to do anything, and we won’t hear anything back. And you stop reporting to the USPS because they also won’t do anything either. So people learn to live with it.

And that’s not OK.

Hit By Car

Last Saturday, we skipped cleaning the apartment and calling my parents in favor of going to the zoo.  We love zoos, and last time we went to the Phoenix Zoo (our first time since moving here) we hadn’t realized it closes at 4 PM.  So we had missed 1/3 of it.

We dressed in our brightest orange shirts.  Little known secret-if you dress in super-bright colors you see more animals, better.  The animals will come out of hiding places, wake up, and engage with YOU because you are bright and interesting to them.  We learned of this at Salt Lake City’s Tracy Aviary.  A bird was in the middle of a training session in preparation for the open air show they do.  It saw Cool in a bright shirt, and flew away from its trainer to check her out.  Ever since then, we have been an effort to make sure and wear our brights–I usually do, anyway.

Navigating parking isn’t fun.  It sucks enjoyment out of it for me because I don’t like driving, dealing with traffic and unfamiliar roads, or finding/paying for parking.  We moved to this apartment in part, because it’s within a reasonable walking distance to the light rail.  It’s 1.8 (maybe 0.8?) miles walk.  Easy for us since we are constantly walking to the canal to run, walking around the city to explore, and walking for exercise or enjoyment.  We’ve walked more than 3 miles at a time at least 4 times in the last month, and one day we went 7 miles.  It’s routine.  Anyway, we walked to rail and went to the zoo on public transportation.

Our day at the zoo was really fun.  Many exciting things happened.  But this particular post isn’t about that.  We made a full day of it and got tired so decided to head home around 1:30 or 2 in the afternoon.  We commented how rail is the worst on the way home, because it’s so easy just to drive and be directly, and quickly there.  Alas, we walked to the stop, waited for one to come, endured many stops, and got out at the stop closest to home.  Then, we just had to walk the last couple of miles as we have done so many times before.

At the last intersection before home we had to cross south, then cross west before walking the last block home.  The light is always long at that intersection.  The traffic was heavy in all directions, being a Saturday afternoon.  2 bikes and another walker (or was it 2 walkers and a bike?) were waiting opposite us to cross north.  Finally, the light changed, we got our walk sign, and began to cross-as did everybody else.  There are 3 lanes in each direction, and the 4 main ones were all full of cars waiting at the red light, ready to speed westward when our turn was finished.  What wasn’t full was the right-most lane.

Cool usually walks slower than I do.  She nearly always lags behind me, so that I’m constantly nagging her to catch up/keep up.  That day, she was out in front.  I don’t know why.  She was halfway across the first lane and I was a little in the intersection, when a black car came up.  Time slowed down and I had several thoughts as this happened

The car will slow down

The front bumper of this car is literally touching my shins

When this car stops, I’m going to look up and glare at the driver-asshole!

Simultaneously:

I have to jump back to get out from in front of this car

and

Cool is too far away, I can neither pull her back out of the road, nor push her forward out of the way.

The car is NOT stopping!

The black car, which had a Jimmy John’s sign on the driver’s side roof HIT Cool.  She was just past the center point of the front hood.  The car almost hit her right at its middle point–this was not like me, an almost got hit.  It was also not, feel the wind a close call.  Cool didn’t get hit a little on a corner or at an angle.  She got hit in the center of the car, because she was in the center of the lane–maybe just past it.

It struck me (pun) how hard Cool was hit.  I couldn’t believe my eyes, and my brain was astonished that this was really happening.  The car making a right turn on red (west bound with intention of heading north-bound) when it struck Cool hard.

What my brain also noticed was that instead of going down and under like I’d thought, Cool was lifted off her feet.  She hit the hood of the car with everything from her ankles up.  Physics are sometimes counterintuitive.

And she hit hard, with a dramatic crunching sound.  It ran through my mind that a lot of people might saaay they’ve been “hit by a car,” when what they really mean is they had a close call, got pinged by a little edge of the car, or felt the wind.  I thought-Cool is getting hit by a car–for real.

Then, she bounced off the car and into the street.  I didn’t really see her land, because my attention turned to the driver.  I was furious!  The driver  only noticed people in the crosswalk AFTER Cool bounced off her car.  Even though we had the right of way, and both of us were in bright ORANGE shirts.  She had been on her cell phone.

The driver opened the door and leaned halfway out, black curly hair coming out wildly from under the black Jimmy John’s cap.  She was wild-eyed in terror and said, “should I call an ambulance?!”  I looked right at her and yelled, “Pay attention!”  She totally ignored me and panic-stricken repeated, “Do you need me to call an ambulance?” And I repeated, “You need to pay attention!“

Then I turned my attention back to Cool, who was sitting up in the road.  She looked to be in one piece.  I didn’t see anything dramatic wrong with her.  And she looked like she was in shock, but not brain-damaged.  Her eyes and face looked OK to me.

All I thought was, we need to get home.  I didn’t want a repeat of the snowboard incident (that took us 4 years to pay off) so I wanted to get her home.  I tugged on her arm, trying to help her up and said, “get up, get up.”  She didn’t attempt to get up at all, and I knew she was in shock after taking a big hit like that.  I coaxed, “please get up, c’mon get up, get up, honey, get up.”  She thought for a minute, then stood up.

She made a shuddering sound and I thought she might cry.  Which is fine, but we were in the middle of the street, and I also didn’t want her to think too much so that she collapsed and we couldn’t get home.

Cool has been known to be a hypochondriac, and this was a ‘for-real’ big thing, so I didn’t want her to think about it and aggrandize it any bigger than it already was.  I figured we would get her out of the busy street, get her inside the house so I didn’t have to carry her or something, and THEN we would take an inventory of the damage and deal with whatever from there.

She limped as we walked the rest of the way through the crosswalk, and I didn’t know what injuries she might have sustained or the severity of them.  But I didn’t want to find out in the middle of the desert street.

I was obviously distracted, but I don’t remember any of the other pedestrians crossing the way actually stopping.  And I can’t recall any of them voicing concern, or asking Cool if she was OK.  I think they just continued on their way.

The other thing I think  I remember, but I’m not sure, and it doesn’t seem right, is I think I saw we still had 13 seconds on the crosswalk countdown.  But that doesn’t seem right at all, so much happened, I don’t know how it could have been that fast. . .  But I don’t think the traffic went through and the light changed cycles either.

On the way across, one of the drivers of a car waiting at the red light rolled down their window and asked if Cool was alright.  I don’t remember what either of us answered, but I thought that was nice of him.

Then, I don’t know if I was preoccupied with worry, or also in shock, but I don’t remember waiting for the next crosswalk sign.  We had to now cross the other street in the intersection west, and I remember standing there a long time.  I remember  Cool seemed like she might start crying again, and I told her she could cry, but please wait til we were safely home.  And I remember another bicyclist was waiting also, to cross south where we had just come from.  I think he missed the incident, because he told me we could cross, but when I looked up I’m sure I saw the red hand.  So I don’t know if we were out of it and missed our turn, or if he saw no cars so he suggested we shouldn’t wait for our signal or what.  But I saw the red hand and told him she was just literally hit by a car, we’re not taking any chances.

I thought I should call Jimmy John’s and report their careless driver.  Mostly, I wanted them to reprimand her, and send a company-wide message to not be using cell phones while making deliveries.  I called the closest location, and the manager wasn’t helpful.  She kept (pretending) not to hear my story of what just happened, and didn’t really want to deal with me.  She ended the call by saying that no female delivery drivers were actually on the schedule–now.  I called the other closest branch, and that manager said he doesn’t even have any females employed as delivary drivers.  The third, farther location didn’t really make sense, but I called and some dope answered.  Turns out, the dope WAS the manager, and in charge of scheduling, but also didn’t have any females driving that day.  I asked to speak to HIS boss.  He told me he didn’t have the phone #.  I asked for the corporate number, and he did seem to take a while to try to find it–I could hear him shuffling papers, then typing.  I feel this ought to be easily found, but he never could help me and he sent me to the internet.

We got home, and I was busy trying to find corporate Jimmy John’s.  When I finally did, they had regular business hours only M-F 9-5–must be nice.

Cool seemed OK when we got home.  Her clothes were half ruined–covered with a fat stripe of road tar.  And her elbow and knee had the same road-rash tar scrapes.  She complained 1 little spot of her jaw hurt, and there was a lump.  Other than that, there was nothing to even take pictures of.  She was sore, but nothing big happened.  Thank goodness–that’s not usually our life!

She took a shower right then, because I was afraid signs of concussion might come on and she wouldn’t be able to stand.  We tried to scrub tar out of her wounds, but there were a lot of micro-scraps from the asphalt and the tar was pretty well embedded.

Luckily, she was OK. It was still one of the scariest things that has ever happened!

Worst Moments of 2021

This list goes from the worst to the absolute #1 worst:

 

-Mercury made finals, but only 1 game was on a channel we get, the community didn’t GAF, & they lost

Especially compared to the hype and excitement of the Suns making it.

 

-variants nullified our vaccine & we were mostly back in quarantine

-Brnovich & Yee are running

 

https://www.azcentral.com/story/opinion/op-ed/laurieroberts/2018/09/18/arizona-attorney-general-mark-brnovich-swoops-help-aps-prop-127-fight/1350846002/

 

Kimberly Yee publicly came out against prop 208 which taxed the highest earners on their personal income only to help AZ schools.

 

 

-missing out on activities bc of high risk of Delta variant

 

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/us/arizona-covid-cases.html

 

 

-Fraudit makes me feel hopeless for Arizona

 

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/may/06/arizona-republicans-bamboo-ballots-audit-2020

 

 

-Doug Ducey didn’t get recalled, ironically bc they couldn’t safely gather enough signatures in the pandemic

 

 

 

-realized NBA is rigged (covid playoff states, Giannis/shaq)

 

It’s no accident the NBA finals ended up being in two states with no Covid precautions/laws (AZ & WI).

 

 

 

 

-found out our Senator, Kyrsten Sinema sold out

 

 

 

-dad lost a hearing aid

 

-mom cancelled her vax bc she was listening to dis/mis-info

 

-missed Kathleen Madigan & Fortune Fenster & Lord Huron bc delta variant

 

 

 

-my mom believed in Fraudit (& is racist)

 

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/02/05/fact-check-viral-post-makes-false-claims-nevadas-election/4392902001/

 

 

-dad lost his 2nd hearing aid

 

-prop 208 was undermined by ducey’s new statute

 

https://ballotpedia.org/Arizona_Proposition_208,_Tax_on_Incomes_Exceeding_$250,000_for_Teacher_Salaries_and_Schools_Initiative_(2020)

 

-my parents were out & about w/high covid risk. Won’t listen.

 

-mom said she thought dad didn’t love her anymore (I hope/think it’s probably his depression)

 

-the heating pad burned Steins tummy

 

 

 

-mom saying trumpy talking-points

 

-KDouche accused me of excessively routing & holding claims too long

 

He said I would need to sit side by side with our mentor so she could tell me what I was doing wrong…  I told him (for at least the 7^th time, between emails and verbally on phone calls) that even this phone call gives me anxiety.  And I asked if I could just do the work and send the claim for her to check it.  He did not listen.  He did not try to work with me.  He did not see any other way to accomplish the goal other than the one method he stated.  Kind of annoyed I was asking for accommodation for my anxiety disorder, he said she would  be side by side watching me do the claim so she could tell me what I was doing wrong in real time.  I was upset bc I do have anxiety, and have emailed him at length about that, and even talked about getting an ADA for anxiety, but he would not work with me.  After a long pause, where I was considering bringing up the ADA or alternate methods to achieve the goal, I just said I understood—mostly bc he never listens to me anyway, so why bother?

 

5/18/21:  KDouche’s recap of our 1:1

I understand that your anxiety can get really bad, however, it is best for someone to sit with you on a live claim example. This way there is no confusion and they would be able to see first-hand what’s happening and possibly propose a solution. This will also aid in your questions in regards to the Xref claims.

I do mostly Zx claims all day long, and they are my favorite.  

The auditors have looked them over many times, and the Zx claims passed as correct. 

I do not have questions about Zx claims.

There are many correct examples of Zx claims that I complete every day and claims that have passed audit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn’t do those random 6 that came through unpaid, for the reasons I explained verbally in the 1:1, and wrote out in an email recap of the 1:1 bc I could tell KDouche wasn’t listening to me. 

He is STILL under the impression I am doing them wrong even though I do them all the time.

 

 

-Jogre micromanaged me

 

-KDouche said “we need more”

 

I emailed you back regarding your email, but I think it got confused within the chain.  In the email, I told you I originally provided:  The claim #, pend, the auth #, how many units it was over, the problem that it’s split into a decimal, a picture of the calculator showing the days split into a decimal, and a pic of the wf tab, and wf box # I got to.  Also, it wasn’t my question—it was a directive of the wf to send it to TL.   And I asked what else I need to do.  I really need to know what else to send to clear up future confusion, as this is a persistent problem.

I asked what else was needed, because I felt like I had sent everything, and rather than admitting he didn’t read the email chain before admonishing me, he gaslighted me and said a vague:  “We need more.” And that’s all he would tell me.  By the end of the call, I was literally screaming, “What else do you need????!!!!”

 

 

-We pinched Bison’s neck in his collar & he said he always hated us so he wanted to move out

 

 

-EEOC didn’t even open my documentation & got everything wrong in the 1 paragraph they wrote!

 

As a last resort, I went through with reporting my work harassment and retaliation to the government.  I spent 3 hours on the phone telling my caseworker the specific details of what happened.  Then I spent 5 hours on a weekend, trying to make all my documentation understandable to an outsider.  It contained a lot of jargon and technical information.  I sent a whole zip file of the documentation because it was SO much evidence.  The day before the case was to be finalized, my case worker emailed asking me to call her a 2nd time.  I was only able to speak to her for 10-15 min during my lunch break.  And guess what?  I could tell 

 

SHE HAD NOT TAKEN ANY NOTES DURING OUR FIRST 3 HOUR CONVERSATION, AND SHE SAID SHE WAS UNABLE TO OPEN MY ZIP FILE, SO SHE HAD NOT READ A SINGLE WORD OF MY DOCUMENTATION.

 

I felt like it was a colossal waste of time, and hopeless.  When she finally did start my case, the one paragraph was full of incorrect information, and did not identify the correct problem.  #$%^@*

 

-dad drove recklessly and was lucky he didn’t cause an accident, and wrecked the car

 

-KDouche said I worked off the clock

 

Employee Handbook: Timekeeping Violations As a company founded on ethical behavior, we take timekeeping violations seriously. It is a violation of company policy for anyone to work off the clock, incorrectly report hours worked, or alter another employee’s time records without a legitimate reason or authorization to do so. It is also a violation to instruct, encourage, or pressure someone to engage in any of these acts. Any employee who engages in behavior that results in inaccurate timekeeping or incorrect payment is subject to discipline up to and including termination.

 

-dad weird sex-talk

 

-HR didn’t help me

-Goose has a mass in his diaphragm

Dr., 

 

I have been thinking of what to say, and sorry, if this is all over the place.  I’m concerned with the density on x-ray too.  I want everything for Goose, and want to have him (happy and comfortable) as long as possible.  I was trying to imagine what it could be to foresee what the treatment could be. . .  

 

If it was a tumor, most the time there would be some anomaly on bloodwork, is that true? And I didn’t think he was really at risk for diaphragmatic hernia at his age/activity level (I’ve heard about it in regards to very young puppies)? And if it was fluid, he would still have a “wet” sound or some respiratory symptoms?  I guess I’m not actually asking for the textbook of the various possibilities.  

 

My real question is:  Out of all the possibilities your knowledge and experience can think of–what is most likely, and are any of them completely reversible for Goose, & what timelines should I prepare for?  I don’t feel at his weight/age he’s a very good candidate for any surgery–do you think he would be? I wouldn’t want to lose him in trying to heal him w/sx, especially if it was uncertain to work, or only bought him a little more time.  Because, honestly just knowing what it is but not having a viable/affordable/long-term treatment would be more horrible than just not knowing for some reason.

 

I would only want to do u/s if it would absolutely tell us what it is, if there is definitely a treatment, and if that treatment worked for Goose long-term.  Which is to say, I know you’re not prescient, but you do have tons of experience.  Please be candid.

 

In every scenario, I’d like Goose to be as comfortable as possible.

Thank you so much,

 

 

Reply:

 

My biggest concern/worst case scenario for that area in Goose’s x-ray would be a cancerous mass.  However if surgery would not be a possibility then I agree the ultrasound would be a bit of a moot point. 

 

As long as he is comfortable, I think it would be reasonable to do some watchful waiting for him. If his respirations change, he is not eating, has vomiting, or any other signs he is not feeling well, we could repeat x-rays and address any findings at that time.

 

As long as he is happy, that is all that counts.

 

Warm regards,

Mandatory Overtime

I hate O.T.–I’d MUCH rather have the time. I’ve done all the extra working (see every “veterinary” or “work” tagged post in my blog) and it didn’t get me ahead in my career or enough money to pay anything important. So why bother?

I start to think about Corporate making billions, off the backs of under-paid (relatively) worker-bees, and it doesn’t set right with me. We need unions to reign in capitalism.

At any rate, at work we are being mandated to work our regular 40 hour weeks, and then an additional 24 hours. It has to be within our regular work window (we have somewhat flexible schedules between 6AM and 5:30PM). Plus they opened up Saturday only from 6AM to noon.

So I am trying to spread it out in a way that will impact us the very least. We will still be doing our daily run and strength workout, and also maintaining our sleep schedules.

9/21-10/16 24HR = 1440 min

In every scenario:

*work 2 sat (every other) for 6 hr = 12 hr [24tot-12sat=12left]

*work 6am-3:30pm (1hr ot) all 4 Mon = 4 hr ot [12left tot-4mon=8hr left]

*fri short as possible

3 options to work the remaining 8 hr ot:

plan A] work 2 additional sat:

plan A1] (2hr = 4hr –>20hr tot & 4 hr spread over 12d)

20 min extra on t,w,r (3d) for 4 wk = 240 min = 4hr

exp:  6:10A-3P or 6:20A-3:10P

plan A2] (1hr only = 2hr –> 22hr tot & 2 hrs spread over 12d)

10 min extra on ,w,r (3d) for 4 wk = 120 min = 2 hr

exp:  6:20A-3P or 6:25A-3:05P

Plan B (no short sat)] spread it over t,w,r for 4 wk:

t,w,r*4wk=12 more days to get 8 hr

8 hr per 12 d (.667hr *60min/hr = 40 min

40min x-tra every t, w, r

exp:  6A-3:10P or 6:20A-3:30P

ADA for Sneakers?!

Dress codes are stupid.  Especially when the job is not customer-facing in any way.  Like, who cares what people wear as long as it’s not showing body parts that are unacceptable for work?!  But Companies still persist in trying to micromanage employees.  Also, dress shoes legit hurt my feet and slow me down.  So I wrote a letter to leadership at my corporation.  It was persuasion to just go ahead and change the dress code because it’s unnecessary:

My purpose is to respectfully persuade you that daily sneakers should be allowed in the dress code.

We are not client facing so sneakers won’t be an issue.  Our professionalism, productivity, and quality will be the same if we can wear sneakers.  If anything my shoes have been the conversation point that brings joy to both me and the people I work with.

Sneakers offer support and comfort.  Which is important to me.  I have genetic bunions that press shoes and become sore and sharp ankle bones sure to tear blisters.  Also, participating in competitive dance For 11 years of my childhood has impacted my feet making them Crack and pop and leaving my arches tender.  Cheerlesding with its explosive jumps (and the resulting high impact landing) and the twisting stunts over 5 feet above the ground left lifelong ankle problems.  And 4 years of pole vaulting and struggling to complete my turn resulting in landing my full body weight from heights above 7 feet have left my ankles stiff and sore In adulthood.  Sneakers provide that supports and comfort to feet and ankles that have known better days.

I seldom speak at work because of anxiety and introversion, but I do express myself through my outfits which I plan a month ahead.  And shoes are perhaps the most important part of the outfit- matching and tieing the look together.  I honor holidays, events, and themes using my attire and thats what makes me who I am.  95% of my shoes are sneakers for the afore- mentioned comfort.  I just bought a slew of pants to meet dress code now I’m reluctant to buy all new shoes when I already have ——— pairs of perfectly good fashion sneakers.

I implore you to please take this earnest letter into consideration and change the dress code to allow for daily sneakers.  They mean a lot to me.

I don’t know why, but I expected a human response to this sincere letter.  I should have known better.  I got the “corporate treatment” instead.  You know, where they copy and paste the rule they wrote and email it to you (again) informing you of the rule.  Which I already knew, and that’s why I was writing?!  Like, change the rule, b/c we don’t need it-is what I was asking…  Alas, I was just given this rule and told if I had a problem I’d need to register a disability.  Which seems very, very heavy-handed.  But I went through the paperwork and the motions and the doctor’s appointment, not expecting much.  And to my surprise, I was granted disability status.  But should it have gone that far?  I don’t think so, just let us wear shoes, ffs.  Below is some of the things I had to put in my fancy government papers:

 

musculoskeletal:

bunions

plantar fascietis

weak ankles

 

Problems:

alignment (especially compensating for unsupportive footwear)

balance

concentration

decreased stamina

fatigue in feet and ankles

muscle weakness

reduced motion in the ankles

sitting (exacerbates pain and stiffness later)

standing

stiffness in feet and ankles (exacerbated after sitting).

walking

 

Prevent worsening of conditions and reduce further problems by wearing more supportive footwear.

 

Need a wide toe-bed.

need support for plantar fasciitis.

need more support for weak ankles.

 

Oh the joys of Corporate America!

We Are Getting Called Back into Physical Work :(

Even though we can do 100% of the job from home.  And we have been working from home just fine since March 15.  And we made production records.

Nothing has changed with the Covid pandemic since they had us work from home.  In fact, cases in Arizona are going up.

They are still adamant we must return to the building June 1st.

And our building is not conducive to reducing the risk of getting sick.  I am absolutely certain people will spread the virus.

We work in one open room.  157 on the claims side, then however many on the opposite side of the fairly open building in Customer Service.  Our cubicles are short, and management already said it would be too expensive to raise the walls.  As I complained here many times, I could already feel the cough/sneeze air of the gal in the cube behind me (because she doesn’t cover her shit).

The long hallways are open, kitchenettes with the water, microwaves, and refrigerators, are part of the big, open room and shared by most.  We all have to enter and leave by badging in and out of one central bottleneck.  There are 2 women’s bathrooms only with 5 stalls and 3 sinks.  They are crowded routinely.  We share them with the CSRs.  The janitor cleans the bathrooms twice daily, and when he does, he closes 1 of the bathrooms so the entire female claims and CSRs share 1 bathroom of 5 stalls and 3 sinks.

I am very concerned.  We already got many messages through the emergency system that someone in our building had been diagnosed with Covid-19 (this was toward the beginning of work from home).

Work says our health is the number 1 priority.  But I find that hypocritical since they’re dragging us back in with no justification in the middle of a global pandemic.

Leadership sent out a handout of the guidelines:

Do a self-survey and self temp check before entering the building (people are not careful, people lie, some carriers are asymptomatic)

Wear masks in common areas (except common areas got perverted to ‘not our big, open room where we all work and breathe for the majority of the day and there is recirculated AC.  Oh, and my supervisor diluted the manual’s instruction more by telling us that the masks are a recommendation, not a requirement)

Social distance and stay 6 feet apart (except the said our short cubicles are 6×6 so we’ll be the same distance as always.  And the bathrooms are going to be a bottleneck.  And the kitchenettes because so many of us have to share them.  And I’m worried leadership will come right to my desk to tell me things or help me with work.)

They said they’ll increase the air flow rate in the buildings they own.  (They don’t own our building.  Even if there is increased rate, it’s still a closed building, and the AC is still recirculated all day long as everyone breathes–without masks).

Work said they’re following federal, state, and CDC guidelines.  (Trump hasn’t really implemented any plan whatsoever, and he has ulterior motives to prioritize the economy over everything else so he can get reelected.  Our governor also prioritizes buisiness because the state ran out of money probably and he’s bought and paid for by corporations.  Our governor has already opened stores, malls, dine in restaurants, bars, gyms, pools, and casinos if that tells you where his priorities are.  And when people broke his recommendations by opening earlier, or having enormous groups with no health measures–he did nothing.  It was not enforced at all.  No fines, no orders to close down.  Nothing happened.  So we can’t depend on that douche to implement public health measures that are reasonable.  And the CDC has been politicized and muzzled, so their recommendations are weak and diluted.

So the federal isn’t doing anything for public health–they’re actively working against science and health measures.  Our red state is tired and inconvenienced and money over lives so no one is helping prevent the spread.  We are in a right to work state, so I have no protections if my work demands I go back–even if I feel unsafe doing so.  And I know even if I fight, they will say we’re essential health care workers so they really don’t have to make any accommodations at all to require us back in the building.  And obviously we HAVE to keep the job.  That’s not even close to an option.

But I don’t like it.

But I get so tired of capitalism and corporate interests jerking the little people around.  I want to have rights and a voice, and wish unions were mainstream.  We needed Elizabeth Warren to take care of some of this corruption and money over lives ideals that Americans just have to live by.  I want to feel safe at work.

I’m legit worried as soon as we step into work we will get the Covid-19.  So what was the point of us working from home at all, if we go back before the peak even hits the state?  I never thought moving to a red state might literally kill me…

Work From Home

My company is adamantly against letting any of us work from home–ever.  But this pandemic forced them to have to allow it.  Because we work in an open room with recirculated AC and the 157 claims people share 2 bathrooms (and they shut down 1 for cleaning twice daily making the whole building share 1 bathroom) with the call center people on the opposite side of the building.

So we’ve been working from home since March 15.

And I love everything about it:

-I sleep better because I don’t have that anticipatory wakefulness trying to make the schedule.

-I use less utilities because I shower every other day since no one will see my 2nd day greasy, slept-on hair.

-Getting ready for work is low maintenance, because I don’t have to adhere to dress code, put on makeup, fix my hair, or prepare the house and cats for being gone all day.

-I can open all the windows in the cool mornings to use less utilities later in the day on cooling, because I have more time to open them, then I’m home to close them up only when the temp = inside.

-I can work outside on the patio and get some fresh air.

-I don’t have to think about the public bathroom:

*do people think I’m going too frequently?

*are they shutting one or the other down for cleaning so they’re more crowded?

*It’s my rule to pee only in the bathroom–but sometimes that makes for an uncomfortable day.

*What if I have to make embarrassing sounds or smells?

*other people are disgusting and shameless in the bathroom.

*the bathroom is an unpleasant mess!

*Touching anything in there is gross

*it’s a rule of mine to get in and out of the bathroom as quick as possible!

*I don’t like to talk in the bathroom, because of what molecules are floating around–but coworkers and leadership find it socially unacceptable not to say anything…

*I spend a huge amount of my work day worrying about the public bathroom…

-I drink more water because it’s easier to get and see above.

-I save tons of time just eating from the fridge.  I don’t have to spend bunches of time on weekends meal prepping lunches to just grab and go.

-I can pet the kitties any old time I want to.  And fill their water, or top off their food during the day, instead of rushing around in the morning trying to remember, or forcing myself to do it when I’m tired at night.

-Between claims, I can just, say empty the dish drainer, and do little chores.  Instead of having to do it after work, after our workout, when I’m very tired.  Or on the weekends.

-I can have things delivered during the day.

-I don’t have to worry about interactions with my coworkers.

-I don’t have to worry about my coworkers spreading germs (this was a concern of mine even prior to covid, b/c the gal behind me does not cover her coughs or sneezes and I can feel the air on the back of my hair and neck).  Also, we have that recirculated air.

-I don’t have to see my jerk supervisor face to face or have any awkward in-person interactions with him.

-I don’t have to plan my time-table around traffic.  I don’t have the stress of driving with fucking idiots.  I don’t pay as much gas, and the wear and tear on our cars is less.

-Asking questions at work is much less stressful, because everyone has to do everything in writing (my preferred form of communication).  I used to get nervous to ask, nervous when people came to my desk, awkward about what to say when I didn’t have time to plan it or check it, and nervous about people sharing their germs.

-Meetings are better.  I could listen to the meeting while swiffering my floors.

-We can do sit-ups on our breaks, b/c nobody else will see us, and we’re not in our nice work clothes.

-We can dance for a couple min every hour b/c there is no chance for anyone to see us.

-We can dress in our workout clothes last break so we’re ready to start our workout right after we clock out.

-Since we start our workouts so much earlier without driving and changing, we are also finished much earlier.

-I am not nearly as tired or fatigued after working from home, probably because I wasn’t exhausted by all the social interactions and factors of the job.  I’m fretting and preoccupied a lot by other people and the schedule when I’m at physical work.  As a result, we do our cardio, strength, and abs every single day, instead of lazying out a couple times a week!

-I’m less tired and stressed in general.

-Our timeline is more relaxed, and as a result so am I.

-Because we are able to get more done throughout the work day and during the week, there is more leisure time on weekends.  Instead of all our logistics stacking up like usual.

 

Also, I don’t know why we can’t always work from home.  At the quarterly meeting, they said we made production records since we’ve worked from home.  I don’t see why corporations are always so hot on dragging their employees into a physical location when people enjoy having work:life balance.  And the traffic impacts are exponential.  I could see if we were screwing around, not making our numbers, and making tons more mistakes–but it’s the exact opposite.  Yet we are being called back in probably June 1st–which is too soon b/c AZ doesn’t peak until June 7.  I’m sure they’ll pull the “essential worker” card, even though we are fully capable of doing 100% of our work from home.

I wish I could work from home all the time, forever!

 

Foot in Mouth

My company recently changed the dress code to make it more casual.  Yay!  We can wear jeans every day instead of twice a week.  Hoodies are in play once a week.  Everyone was happy.  Except, they said sneakers can only be worn on Friday (I have been wearing them every day) which seems like a step backwards.  I have been devastated about it and at a loss what to do:  Take my chances, hope I continue to be invisible, and wear sneakers until I get in trouble to the level of losing my job?  Buy bunches of new colored shoes that fit in dress code so I can still wear cute matching outfits?  Try to get a doctor’s note?  I wasn’t sleeping, I have been upset.  So even though I’ve been reluctant to speak out on anything or make any type of waves–this is important to me so I had to try something.  I couldn’t sleep at 3AM and I wrote the points I wanted to turn into a letter into my phone.  And apparently, the result was a triple stuffed oreo of an opinion paper and pretty good.  So I kept it, and despite many nerves and doubts I sent it out to the people I thought 1) May have written the dress code and/or 2) Might listen and do something about it.  My supervisor’s boss, her boss, and the VP of the company who said something to the effect of, ‘if we can be flexible and accommodate why not do it?’  And I thought that attitude was perfect for this situation.

Hello,

My purpose is to respectfully persuade you that daily sneakers should in fact be allowed in the dress code.

We are not client facing so sneakers won’t be an issue.  Our professionalism, productivity, and quality will be the same if we can wear sneakers.  If anything my shoes have been the conversation point that brings joy to both me and the people I work with.

Sneakers offer support and comfort.  Which is important to me. I have genetic bunions which press shoes and become sore.  My sharp ankle bones are sure to tear blisters. Also, participating in competitive dance for 11 years of my childhood has impacted my feet making them crack and pop and leaving my arches tender.  Cheerleading with its explosive jumps (and the resulting high impact landings) and the twisting stunts over 5 feet above the ground (sometimes hitting it at high speeds on the dismount) left lifelong ankle problems.  Four years of pole vaulting and struggling to complete my turn resulting in landing my full body weight from heights above 7 feet have left my ankles stiff and sore in adulthood. Eight years of track and running a daily mile has contributed to plantar fasciitis.  Sneakers provide that extra support and comfort to feet and ankles that have known better days. In addition, I try to stand while I work, because sitting is a killer, and it’s much more sustainable to do that in supportive footwear like sneakers.

I seldom speak at work because of anxiety and introversion, but I do express myself through my outfits which I plan a month ahead.  Shoes are perhaps the most important part of the outfit- matching and tying the look together. I honor holidays, events, and themes using my attire and that’s what makes me who I am.  95% of my shoes are sneakers for the aforementioned comfort. I just purchased a slew of slacks to meet dress-code so I’m reluctant to buy all new shoes when I already have 36 pairs of perfectly good fashion-sneakers.

I implore you to please take this earnest letter into consideration and change the dress code to allow for daily sneakers.  They mean a lot to me. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

And I guess I should have anticipated my supervisor’s boss to call me into her office for a chat about it.  Which was awkward because I had worn sneakers that day (against dress code).  She skipped right to me putting in an ADA request and indicated I should come to her (or my supervisor) with issues a.k.a.  don’t go above her head again.  I knew she was putting me off, and I don’t like that and it wasn’t the result I was going for.  But I didn’t have the diplomacy to push back without making an enemy of her (anymore than I already had).  So I was basically given the (my words) ‘rules are rules shut up and make our lives easy’ corporate line.  And I didn’t like it.