Question… Kaylor-Politics Fear, Fire, & Smoke. Many Songs are Tied Together [Part 16]

Taylor wins the pronoun game.  I’m not even going to try to untangle the speaker/recipient/changing characters in this song. Ok maybe just a little in this section. It was written so convoluted that I haven’t even seen a satisfactory answer to this yet.  Instead, I took lyric snippets from other songs featuring the same word, to get a feeling about Taylor’s sentiment and even subject. Don’t get overwhelmed with the length of this post.  The word I’m trying to point-out from Question… lyrics is highlighted. 

In Question… the next verse has a change in Taylor’s tone of voice.  It sounds almost sarcastic when she sings:

And what’s that, that I heard, that you’re still with her?

You’re still with her.  Who is Taylor talking to?  And who is HER?  This is a main reason why I wasn’t going to play the pronoun game with this particular song.  I think Taylor wrote it in a way that couldn’t be decoded.  She didn’t call and tell me.

Is the “you’re” Taylor is talking to, Karlie?  If so, it implies Karlie is with (dating?) HER.  And I don’t know who that could be.  It doesn’t seem plausible that Karlie would “marry” Jo$h, have a baby with him, leaving Taylor in the process. All to just get a different secret girlfriend?  I mean, IF Karlie wanted a WLW affair, Taylor has made it more than clear that her door is still open to Kaylor.

Is the “you’re” Taylor speaking to Jo$h?  I don’t think it can be, because immediately preceding this line the lyric is, “Does it feel like everything is just like second best after that meteor strike?”  In the last entry we showed through other celestial lyrics that the meteor strike is this otherworldly, untouchable love.  And Jo$h was not involved other than as an antagonist, threatening to burn the house down. What would be second best to him?  Taylor is referring to Klo$$ner(?!) AS the thing that’s second best to Kaylor.

The YOU’RE must be Karlie because the meteor is definitely Kaylor.  But I really don’t think Karlie is with another woman (HER).  So even though it seems random and out of context, I do think Taylor is using Hillary Clinton’s unofficial slogan to make fun or mock Karlie’s feeble “I tried” tweet, hence the sarcastic singing voice in this verse.

That’s nice, I’m sure that’s what’s suitable

And Taylor does mention “fuckin’ politics and gender roles” in the verse right before this one, so it could make sense for the song to allude to Karlie’s political hypocrisy.  [Sidenote: “counterfeit” and “faithless” are both synonyms of “hypocritical” and Taylor uses those in other songs, which could be talking about this very matter.]

And right, but tonight

There aren’t common lyrics in the song I’m about to reference, but I do think there is a connection. The political talk and the word “tonight” reminds me of Daylight. 

Daylight

Is it Karlie that “ran with the wolves” (the Ku$hners, her neighbor and sister in-law Ivanka, by extension the Trumps) adjacent and complicit to republican evil?  It’s also interesting that Question… could be addressing the subject matter of Daylight because it goes with our overall thesis that Taylor’s central problem is closeting.  

Daylight came out [ha!  Accidental pun] in 2019, the year Taylor turned 30 years old.  Twenty years prior to that it was 1999 and Taylor was around 9.  In Seven Taylor says, “picture me….before I learned civility, I used to scream ferociously any time I wanted.”  At 7 years old Taylor acted viscerally, shouting her truth and paying no attention to anybody else’s expectations, or to social rules.  But as she aged she learned manners/tact/compliance…  She was molded to be socially acceptable, and in this patriarchal, heteronormative world, that means being a (straight) young lady (with feminine qualities).  It corresponds to the next year of age entering into a dark night, sleeping on her queerness for the sake of etiquette.  The stuffing down her innate sexuality, denying her attraction to women, and closeting when she couldn’t repress herself.

In 2016 Taylor “became the butt of the joke” when her reputation was ruined.  She met Karlie and fell deeply in love, which helped Taylor see past the drama-induced pain.  The enthrallment also reminded Taylor of her innate queerness.  During the lover era, Taylor may have planned to come out.  Precisely because Kaylor prompted Taylor to wake up from the dark sleep of hiding her sexuality (maybe even from herself).  Taylor was so happy about being in love and seeing daylight that she wanted to share her feelings with the world.  But the master’s situation foiled that plan at the last minute.

Afterglow might be alluded to in the next line of Daylight, “I wounded the good [Karlie?] and trusted the wicked.”  Afterglow explains that Taylor thought she had reason to attack.  She pinned Karlie’s hands behind her back, and made her feel helpless, hopeless, ambuscaded.  But it turns out Taylor blew things out of proportion, and it was Taylor who burned them down. 

I don’t know what happened.  Did Taylor think Karlie’s first wedding was legitimate and an ambush to desert her?  Or is this lyric indicating Taylor felt Karlie betrayed secrets to Jo$h and or $cooter which enabled them to buy her masters at exactly the wrong time for an official coming out?  I don’t know, because I’m not sure any song is specific enough to untangle it.  What we do know is that whatever Karlie may have done, Taylor says she overreacted.  

Daylight continues, “clearing the air I breathed in the smoke”

Let’s talk about the connotation of smoke. Again, I’ll right-align the songs that contain the word since “smoke” is not in Question…

Cardigan and The Archer talk about the smoke left behind from the fiery Kaylor break-up:

Cardigan

The song speaks to things pertinent to our discussion:

1. Taylor knew she was Sapphic back at Seven even though adults assume you are just in a phase or confused as a young queer.  Especially fathers, according to Mary’s Song, where the daddies were notably absent from the fantasy wedding, which might explain the “leavin’ like a father” in Cardigan.  She compares herself to Peter Pan, who never grows up.  Taylor wants to be like that 7 year old freely getting close to the girl with the braids.

2. Karlie impacting Taylor forever (like a tattoo) is mentioned again.  Kaylor will haunt Taylor, and she will curse Karlie.  I will put the part about how Taylor regards her gayness like a curse, and says she’s haunted to mean she’s sapphic as a reminder of what we previously decided:

3. The 3rd pertinent thing in Cardigan that ties back to Question…, Daylight, Afterglow, is the smoke remaining after the fire.  In Ivy it was Taylor who pushed Karlie away and told her to run. 

These lines are from Karlie’s point of view:  

Ivy

This perspective shows Karlie suggests Kaylor take a risk and stay together.  Even with the “husband” in the picture (“drink my husband’s wine” = Jo$h’s wine).  But Taylor doesn’t wanna share, she says in Delicate.  And so Cardigan talks about how Karlie finally “ran like water” “steppin’ on the last train” because of Taylor’s stipulations (me or him).

Smoke is mentioned in The Archer, where Taylor is talking about her struggle with the closet.  She wants to keep her fans and fame, but it hurts her relationship with the girl. The song The Archer also mirrors the 3 items we talked about in Cardigan:

The Archer

1. Taylor never grew up and is still playing Peter Pan.  She wants to be regarded as the ‘good girl’.  Taylor can’t let herself go rogue, and come out of the closet for fear of losing everything.

2. Taylor views her queerness as a curse and haunting.  She paces like a ghost, unable to sleep because of the anxiety. But Karlie got under her skin and will impact her forever.  Taylor knows it’s unfair to ask Karlie to closet with her (“who could stay?”) but desperately wants to hold onto her (“help me hold onto you”). YOU is Karlie and the fans.

3. It’s Taylor who pushes Karlie to run, and take the last train.  It’s Taylor who jumps off the train and rides off alone.  She can’t stand the heat, is constantly afraid of the impending fire, and the invisible smoke hangs over her.

The heat is gay rumors and Karlie’s decision to remain with Jo$h. 

The fire is getting burned by coming out or worse, being outed.  The fire is the terror of Ku$hner-power hurting her to quell Kaylor.  The fire is Karlie’s “family” situation conflicting with Taylor’s own ideas of a fairytale life. 

The smoke is unrealized events that Taylor dreads.  The smoke is every time Taylor is gay on main and too many people notice.  The smoke is damage control by Taylor’s PR team and Taylor’s own overcorrections when things look too queer.  

Taylor suffers because she loves the gal, but also knows how “out(ed)” celebrities lose their fame and die all alone.

Daylight

Which brings us back to Daylight.  The smoke Taylor breathes in when trying to clear the air is Taylor holding onto imagined negative outcomes.  Running damage control and overcorrecting any gay situation.

The pain of picking closeting over the love of her life time and time again makes Taylor feel asphyxiated.  

Vote Blue No Matter Who

People died to get the right to vote

It is your Civic duty to vote

Your vote is your voice

The personal is political

Not voting, is still a vote

If you don’t vote, you don’t have the right to complain

Bernie supporters on Twitter are already showing selfishness, entitlement, unrealistic expectations, naivete, etc… by saying they are not going to vote at all, or worse–they’re voting for Trump.

If you’re voting for Trump, you were never progressive.  You were never going to vote based on ethics.  It’s gross.

The whole attitude makes me frustrated.  What could be worse than Trump?  He is doing sometimes irreversible damage.  He has to go.  He cannot get another Supreme Court pick–those are life long terms.  The peddling of lies and disinformation has to stop.  His sewing of distrust of science and media are alarming.  He shouldn’t be allowed to undercut our democracy anymore.  He can’t ruin the environment anymore.  LGBT will lose the little progress that has been eked out.  The racism…  Not voting ensures more of this.

And if you don’t like Biden–neither do I.  Honestly, I didn’t want a rich, old, white man to lead the country–the world, because they do not represent my interests.  They don’t understand who I am as a female or what my needs and desires are as an American citizen.  But politics are effed.  I don’t like the system either, but you have to work within that system or nothing at all will ever change.

Voting is an essential right and duty.  Change happens slowly, our government is designed with checks and balances, so that it intentionally moves slowly.  But it’s important that it moves forward, not backward.

I think we can all agree that after Obama was elected there has been a backlash.  The conservatives, the right, the republicans, the rich, the racists are “over-correcting”  those 8 liberal years.  Which I’d argue weren’t liberal enough in many respects and were actually, fairly unproductive (because of blocks in congress) for the most part.

Which is why we have to get the far right out of the White House while there is still something to salvage.  Please, please vote.  Vote the lessor of two evils.  Vote for the cabinet.  Vote so that we don’t lose anymore of our nation’s values.  Whatever you need to tell yourself to justify it.  Just vote.

Biden is better than Trump.  a silver-alert runaway is better than Trump.  A clown is better than Trump.  My cat would be better than Trump.  My cat’s favorite mouse toy would be better than Trump.  Diarrhea is better than Trump.

Vote Blue No Matter Who.

Learned How DNC Nomination Works (kind of)

Kind of learned, and it kind of works-both. 

I used to steer clear of politics.  They were boring, I didn’t know any of the names, it is complex.  And mostly I didn’t follow it, because I figured any candidate who made it that far had to be corrupt (true).  But, now I watch the news so some of the names and positions are familiar which helps a lot.  I learned a lot about the political nominee process today via podcasts.

I still don’t understand who the delegates are.

But party leaders (or insiders?) elect them at the level of congressional district.  I don’t know what that means, but I gather the general public is not elected, nor part of that process at all.  Also, it was unclear to me how the number per state is arranged.  I got the impression that the more active your district, the more delegates you are allowed.  Also, probably the more money you give to that party the more delegates?  And California, I think, has the most delegates of any state by FAR.  Oh, and U.S. territories such as Guam and Puerto Rico also get delegates.

The goal of all the presidential nominees–the ONE goal, is to collect the most delegates.  That’s it.  

Each party makes their own rules.  Republicans have a winner takes all system.  If the candidate wins the majority of the votes in a state (even if it’s a small majority) they get every delegate from that state. 

The democrats do it proportionally:  So if candidate A gets 30% of the votes and candidate B gets 16% of the votes, Candidate A gets around 30% of the delegates and Candidate B gets half as many or close to 16% of the delegates.  

Also, in order to get any proportion of the delegates at all, the Candidate must at least meet a minimum threshold of 15% of the votes in that state.  If they get 13% of the votes, they don’t get a single delegate.  Now, every state seems to have it’s own number of delegates, so in the example above 30% of the delegates may be just 2 delegates gained for the winner, and half as many delegates equals 1 delegate for candidate B.  So you can see even winning a lot of votes, may not accumulate a large number of delegates, or more importantly a large lead over competitors.

The 3 things that are important in this process are:  Money, momentum (and controlling the media’s narrative), and strategy for allocation of resources (money, time, and staff).

Also, of note is the difference between a caucus and a primary.  A caucus is like a town meeting, all in a small time frame (vs 8 hr or 2 weeks) and are held maybe in a school gym, or if bunches of people show up even outside.  Caucuses are not private, everyone knows your vote.  And you mostly have to attend in person, so you must be free at that exact time they’re held.  So mostly people really into politics attend.  It’s kind of old school. 

A primary is similar in most respects to a regular election:  The polls are in the same (multiple) locations, they happen over a span of time, and they attract a broader audience.  Primaries also sometimes allow mail in ballots.  Most states are moving to primary form, because the absentee ballots are easier to deal with in this format (and they’re more current of a situation than the old school caucus).

Another thing that’s important is each state decides when to vote in their caucus/primary.  Only 4 go in February:  Iowa (which always has to be first, according to its own state laws), New Hampshire (technically the first primary since Iowa is a caucus), Nevada, and South Carolina.  And I don’t think any of those states represent the demographics or character of the overall U.S. very well.

Super Tuesday is so called because many states vote as soon a they are allowed (the 1st Tues of March).  And usually, there will be a candidate after this vote that is going to be a clear winner of the nomination.  BUT  when there are more than 2 candidates running the delegates are split between them and it can take longer to show a clear winner.

March 10 there is Super Tues Part 2 with Michigan, Missouri, Washington state (with 89 delegates), and North Dakota voting.  A week later, 6 more states vote.  This March voting accounts for half of the number of delegates in the U.S. so it can be a game changer still.

There are still more primaries even as late as April 30.  And it’s states in the Atlantic like PA, NY, CT, DE, MD–you know big, and politically active states.  And they might decide to all vote the same in a block.  Or not.  Depends on the year and the candidates.

I should mention, that in order to be considered the nominee at the end, you can’t just get the highest number of delegates out of all the candidates.  The nominee must have a minimum of 51% support.  So when there are more than 2 candidates, and things are pretty close, it’s possible that nobody gets that number.  If after all this time, there is no clear front runner, all the politicking ramps up.

To make a ticket more enticing, the democratic party may try to pair 2 candidates like Prez/VP.  Or pull a desirable candidate in to balance a ticket.

If there are several candidates in a “lane” the party might try to consolidate them.  [I’m pretty sure money or promises were made to two moderates in 2020 if they would fall behind Biden.]

At this point also, a committee is formed of delegates that will write the rules for the democratic convention.  [I think this needs to happen before the contest ever starts, and with impartial people].  And the candidates and their people are allowed to “woo” these rule-maker delegates.  Rides on Airforce 1, expensive dinners, paid travel, gifts–they’re all allowed.  What’s not allowed is promising a federal job to anyone.  But it seems a little too permissive to me.  This rules committee will specify how a candidate can establish dominance:  A majority or just by number of delegates.  And depending on all the wooing, it can favor one candidate over another.  They make every rule at this point for the Democratic Convention which will ultimately declare the nominee.

Then there is a vote.  And if there is still no clear front-runner, at least an hour (but probably way more time) must elapse.  Deals are made, the attributes of candidates are discussed, promises and compromises…  Then, a different set of 700-something automatic delegates (IDK who picks these people, what their qualifications are, or how often they’ve been used) votes a 2nd time.  And whamo-that’s the democratic nominee.

But it’s in the party’s interest to pick as soon as possible, because this whole time the incumbent candidate in the other party has been campaigning for the big election.  

 

So clear as mud, huh?  I think the system has been made purposefully complex to allow special interests, establishment, and money to have loop holes and windows.  My original assumption that anyone who makes it this far is corrupt–is probably correct.  But at least we know a little more about the process.

 

Trump Terror

I was actually happy when Trump got the Republican nomination.  I thought Jeb Bush, with his family-backing, and Texas oil money, and far-right support was more of a threat.  I highly doubted anyone would take Donald Trump seriously.  I mean, all he had going for him was money and trash-talk!  I felt voting for him was akin to voting for a Kardashian.  They’re in the same camp–you know their names from the stupid stuff they say and do on television, but you don’look to them for any serious leadership.

And I knew if nobody took Trump seriously (because HOW could they!!!) that whatever democrat was running would be a shoe-in.  I wasn’t sad to see it was Hillary.  I had actually voted for her over Obama in the primary that first time around when she ran.  I knew her face, thought she worked really hard as Secretary of State, and yeah–I wanted a woman in the White House.

But I thought women’s rights were farther ahead than they actually are.  I really think if Hillary were a man, things would have played out differently.  It would have been an EQUAL assessment of two candidates.  Not just a singular attack on one and blind-spot toward the other.  They would have dug into her dirty laundry–sure–that’s part of the political game these days.  And believe me, they ALL have their share of dirty laundry.  The political machine is so caught up in money now, that ALL candidates that make it to a certain lever most certainly made back room deals to get funded.  They all owe somebody.  Every politician has to water down a certain policy they care about, because a special interest group contributed to their campaign.

That makes them all lairs.  They all manipulate.  Every politician is shady.  I expect it.

But they would have used the bad stuff to equal disadvantage, apples-to-apples.  They didn’t.  When people called Hillary a liar, I was like–yeah.  Of course.  But what I didn’t expect was to people to hold that against Hillary in a militant way, when they didn’t hold the male politician to the same standard.  I would challenge that every accusation, every piece of dirty laundry found on Hillary was used against her in a more drastic way then it is used against any man that has run or held office.  People were a LOT harsher on Clinton then they’ve been on most males in politics.

The patriarchal double-standard reared it’s ugly head.

Even so, I didn’t think the country would go for Donald Trump.  How could they?  He is a caricature.  He’s all fluff and propaganda, and realty TV!  He has no political experience, no solid policy ideas, only hateful sound-bites.  His business dealings were murky.  The guy claimed bankruptcy and didn’t pay taxes.  He wavered on issues, and lost all three debates.  His supporters were the trashiest, most backward, belligerents in the country.  He got caught candidly admitting his penchant for sexual abuse.  Americans would not get behind any of that.  We might like to see the train wreck on TV, but we expect more decorum and have higher standards for our president.

The leader of our country–the leader of the world.

I was in absolute shock when we didn’t.

This week was difficult.  I felt suddenly scared and alone.  I knew every person from my small town voted republican.  I felt since Trump is against many of the minority groups I belong to (women-in social standing, impoverished, gays) that my Utah work managers were also.  My hometown was also.  My Facebook friends were also.  My parents were also.  I was suddenly marginalized.  Cowering at the fringes.

And my groups are actually dominant groups OF the marginalized groups.  The illegals, people of color, transsexuals, Muslims–all have it way worse.  If I felt scared and alone, how must THEY feel???

I saw many Trump supporters come across my Facebook feed.  And they shut-down dissent by telling anyone liberal or sorry about the win to “get over it.”  They discounted their opinions, silencing their views.  I try not to make waves on Facebook.  Or at work.  I know I am more progressive then my small-town peers.  I understand I have lived in more states, have more education, watch documentaries and learn about issues.  I’m a moderate, but a progressive one.  That sets me apart from most loud political views.  I get that people that just don’t know, don’t necessarily hate, but they are ignorant.  I can let some things go.  And I am usually quiet.  I scroll past the politics that are opposite to my views, the hate-memes, and ignorance.  Because these people are family.  Or they are my past.  I grew up and went through every year of schooling from kindergarten to senior year with some of these people–it’s just not worth it.

But when people started hassling Cool on her Facebook page, I stopped to think.  She was upset and posted why.  People wrote long diatribes, personally attacking her.  People told her to shut up about it.  People said to “move on.”  And in a society that just accepted what Trump stands for, and voted him in the highest office–I decided we could no longer afford apathy.

A lot of the reason he got voted in was because people didn’t like either candidate so they didn’t vote.  A whole, big section of youth, and moderates, and democrats just didn’t vote.  Which left privileged people to make our decisions.  People whose lives look nothing like mine.  People who don’t have the same problems and worries as me (or other marginalized groups).  It made me think a lot of that Holocaust quote, which I will not directly quote (because I’m too lazy to go search for it, and I already have more tabs open then I like) so I will sum the sentiment up:  They took the criminals, and I was not a criminal so I didn’t say anything.  They took the gypsies, and I was not a gypsy so I didn’t say anything.  They took the Jews and I was not a Jew so I didn’t say anything.  So when they came for me–there was nobody to speak for me.

We always have to remember how the Holocaust started so nothing even remotely similar can repeat itself.  It’s not just about some tyrant stealing power–it’s the apathy and silence from the real majority that allows that to happen.

And Cool and I spent a very large part of the year watching WWII (and everything around the periphery of that) shows, interviews, and documentaries.  I know what apathy can lead to, I know how things got started in Germany back then.  So I felt motivated to stand up where I could in my own life.  I made a new policy that I would not be silenced by the privileged few.  I would not stand down as a woman.  I will not hide as a gay.  I will not let my poverty minimize my power.  And I wouldn’t stand by and say nothing when others were hassled–not anymore.  I will act with integrity and stand for what I believe in.  Even if it causes confrontation.  I will deliberately show my ethics and speak my morals.  I have to counter the negativity and hate that was just sanctioned by a vocal majority by stopping the silence and apathy.  First in my own life, then maybe even on a larger scale.

Here’s what I wrote to Cool (and her frenemies on Facebook):

 

And I wrote to her (and those frenemies of hers):

“Words of wisdom: I will not be shut-down or silenced. I will continue to voice my ethics and let my values guide my actions. Hate has no place here. Don’t let societal pressures make you falter. Speak your mind. Speak your truth.”

Because right now it’s super-important for all those just marginalized by the ignorants and the haters to have a voice.  Remind people we’re here and we’re just as valid.  And we have dreams, hopes, and rights.  We deserve an equal chance.  We deserve respect.  That dissent is not unpatriotic.  To speak out for injustice is as American as you can get.  It’s what this country was built on.

I also got brave and wrote from my heart on my own Facebook page.  Knowing I was outnumbered by right-wingers.  Knowing there was hate for my groups just under the surface.

“I try to keep politics off my page. Nobody really wants to hear it–you’re not changing anyone’s mind. And I don’t identify with either party. I think with all the money, and lobbyists, and Super-PACS all candidates that make it that far have to be corrupt just to be in the game. But I am in shock and dismay.

For me, this 2016 election result is not about red or blue, winning or losing, it’s about standing for my values, and modeling my ethics. I will not be shut-down and I will not falter in defending my morals for fear of antagonism. It’s not about, “move on, get over it.” Trump’s values do not align with mine. And friends/family I hope I know you well enough that Trump’s quotes/feelings are not in your heart either.

This is a country of immigrants, mentally ill, minorities, women, gays, impoverished, of “other.” Big-Money shouldn’t have the largest and last say in all matters. As a proud American I recognize how fortunate I am to be born here and at the status that I hold. But that’s all it was–luck, completely out of my control. I will raise my voice to defend the little people– outsiders like myself–because that’s the kind of person I am.

If you can’t respect that, if you are ignorant to the sentiment of this message–mostly I feel sorry for you. And a little afraid. For myself, for the others like me, for this great country, and for you. God bless, and may the universe be kind to you and yours.”

http://johnpavlovitz.com/2016/11/09/heres-why-we-grieve-today/

I was disappointed I only got 3 likes and one comment–none of those from family.  So the fears and isolation are real.  Those people on my Facebook WOULD turn against me.  I have to watch my mouth and watch my back.

But I will not be silenced.  I will not go down without a fight.

I took my new personal-policy of not being silenced to my job yesterday.  Crissy bought us ice cream.  She got 4 different flavors of candy bars.  Derick the Douche loves Reese’s PB cups best, so she specifically got ice cream in that flavor for him.  He claimed it before he saw it.  The rest of us decided which flavors we wanted.  Derick then saw the ice cream, and saw his flavor was smaller then the rest.  He said he wanted oreo instead (it was the biggest).  But an Indian gal had already picked that one out.  White, male, privileged, dominant Derick the Douche wanted it, and pushed for it.  She conceded.  I spoke up–“No Siama already chose that one.”  And I like PB, and didn’t particularly care which ice cream flavor I ate (I love ALL ice cream!) so I told him to take the Twix one I had picked.  He pouted and tried to take hers anyway.  I put my foot down.  Which, I never would have done before.  He’s always that way.  It was none of my business.  But under my new policy, I was not going to stand by and let him bully a minority and take the (perceived) better ice cream away from her.

I used my policy a second time in the same night.  A chronically slow, co-worker, who is always late, always lagging on his buckets, and actually disallowed to do basic tasks because he messes up, ruffled my feathers.  I always do the document imaging at work.  My co-workers don’t like to.  Everyone is supposed to do it.  We even have it assigned to a certain color.  But I do the lions share-no matter what color I am assigned.  Night after night.  Because I am a hard worker.  I’m motivated.  And it needs to be done.  I’ll do the scanning–ALL of the scanning.  Night after night, month after month, year after year-I do the majority of the scanning.  To the point, they don’t even know HOW, some of them, including the boy in this story.

For once, Crissy (who is just a sub and usually doesn’t work) was helping with the scanning.  She got stuck and didn’t know what had gone wrong, and this kid (Josh) was near so went over to help her.  But since he never scans, didn’t know how.  And they all just KNOW that I’m the scanning bitch at work.  In an accusatory tone, he called my name–like ‘YOU fucked this up, now come over and fix your mistake so Crissy can finish our work.’  That’s what his tone and body language said.  And he’s used that tone on me before.  Usually I let it go to keep the peace.  Even though it’s a totally inappropriate tone for work, and completely condescending.  I usually let it go.  Even though it makes me mad and makes me feel ‘less than’ I let it go.

But last night I called him out on it.  I said, “Are you asking for my help or accusing me of something?”  And he still looked agitated and a little hostile toward me so I continued, “You don’t need to use that accusatory tone on anyone at work–especially when you’re asking for their help.”  Turns out, I had not messed anything up.  But even if I had–so what?  And um–scanning is not MY job.  They are supposed to be doing their share and they never do–so don’t come accusing me of anything regarding scanning!  Anyway, Crissy had pressed something wrong, and it was no big deal, I simply showed her how to fix it, and we went on with work.  But my defense had made the kid mad.  He was storming around, slamming his stuff, and had a shitty demeanor for the rest of our shift.

But I wasn’t silenced.

And that felt good.  In a week where shock and horror ruled.  So I will continue on, living ethically, not hiding behind fear or apathy.  I will act with morality, defend those without a voice, and stand up for my beliefs–because they’re just as valid as Trumps, and those who voted for him.

Vote Against Women

Who are these “Democrats” voting against funding for Planned Parenthood?

By the tenets of the Democratic Party, each individual has responsibilities toward society and the nation. Each one of us – by Democratic point of view – has the obligation to respect human life, to respect the rights of others, to be tolerant, to be honest, to have self-control, to respect property of others, and to participate in the democratic processes of this nation.  I thought democrats were supposed to be liberal and progressive?  They are always touted as such–though I am suspicious of any partisan activity at all and prefer individual analysis of what is best for the country.  That said, liberals are quick to attack republicans, and as I expected it’s patriarchy in general that is to blame–not (entirely) the ultra conservatives.  Apparently those democrats are not immune to capitalistic pressures to renounce women’s best interests.  Democrats, by voting against education, birth control, health care, and easy access to female care in general, these politicians are violating the rules of their party.  And no matter your feelings on feminism, education is never a bad thing.  The continuing trend in voting against education will come back to haunt us as a nation.

I’m callin’ you out–you are a disappointment to Democrats politicians that have integrity (is that an oxymoran?) in the United States, and I hope you are voted out of office promptly!   I am looking at you:

Mike Ross of Arkansas

Daniel Lipinski and Jerry Costello of Illinois

Joe Donelly of Indiana

Collin Peterson of Minnesota

Mike McIntyre and Heath Shuler of North Carolina

Mark Critz of Pennsylvania

and Nick Rahall of West Virginia.