Tag Archives: friends

Dancing with our Hands Tied- Sacred Oasis Threatened by Gossip [Part H]

5 Jan

Logistical Info:

Remember we’re looking at words in the lyrics of Question… to try to decipher who and what and when.

We’ve almost gone through the entire song, pulling lyrics containing the same words to get a sort of consensus or feeling about Taylor’s intention.

Now that we’re toward the end of Question… lyrics, we need to address the central part of the song: Kiss in a crowded room. And the kiss really brings to mind Dancing with our Hands Tied and maybe Kissgate.

We will analyze Dancing with our Hands Tied to see if it parallels Question….

Except this particular line within Dancing with our Hands Tied got a bit long because I really don’t know for sure and there was no solid direction to take the analysis. I will go into it in detail in this post so the guesses don’t overwhelm the analysis of the song as a whole.

And I’ll spell out my conclusions from this post in the full analysis of Dancing with our Hands Tied. But that post was getting very long and I was afraid nobody would read it. So to make things even more confusing each line in DWOHT is going to be its OWN post. But then I’ll do a main DWOHT post with just links to each different post. It’s a whole big thing.

Then we’ll get back to the end of Question

Was that explanation as confusing as trying to guess who Taylor’s songs are about?

And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis

Taylor says they went from friends to this and she has dirty dreams about this former friend, turned lover in Paper Rings.  Taylor also reveals that her and Karlie have a private relationship inside her room, in King of my Heart, because the boys never took her where Karlie does [same, girl] (Question…  [Part 2]). 

By definition, an oasis is in the middle of an arid land. Taylor is describing her life as a desert. She’s alone in a harsh environment that lacks necessities, and is dangerous. This person revived Taylor and supplied the love she needed to survive.

End Game describes how the body is gold, the eyes make Taylor drunk on love, and this person has captured her very soul.  

But at the same time Taylor can’t forget all the drama and how her reputation suffered.   Because the couple represents a vilified form of love, Taylor feels she has to conceal the relationship.  Still, Taylor was unable to leave this illicit romance even though closeting is depressing. 

Time and time again Taylor chose her career and the closet over her lovers, and all she’s left with is memories and regrets [Question…  [Part 10]).

People started talking, putting us through our paces

Taylor’s career  is never far from her mind, and she worries how people will judge her.  She has to worry about media scrutiny as well. Taylor knows if she dated a woman (publicly) it would be a big conversation, and there would be a lot of negative reactions.  Even when she’s swept away by the strongest desires for women, Taylor is still worried about public disapproval [Question…  [Part 14]).  

A lot of external quagmires such as Snakegate have pulled Taylor down in addition to her hesitation over her sexuality (Question…  [Part 15]).  She has dealt with frenemies who betrayed her, so Taylor has a difficult time trusting people.  Sadly, Taylor is not really all that close to anyone, except for her mom, and (at times) her baby.  

Taylor’s super-fame is not relatable and it isolates her.  So many of Taylor’s friends (her publicist, Tree, for example) are people on her pay-role, or mutually beneficial superficial work friends.  The other people around Taylor are in the background just getting drunk, high, and laughing.  But these people cannot be counted on (“we’ll never say that word again”). There are queer friends who have the same trauma as Taylor, but because of closeting she can’t truly and openly be too close to them (Question…  [Part 5]).  Taylor’s support system is connected with her brand, so Taylor the person is overlooked.  As a result, Taylor’s romantic relationships suffer.  She is too focused on external opinions and validation, and her lovers are relegated to the back-burner a lot of times.  Taylor uses “universe” to show how far away she seems to her lover in Coney Island (Question…  [Part 15])

Since Taylor just can’t/won’t come out and live openly, and she’s left feeling alone and melancholy.

But career intact (Question… [Part 8]).

Question… Can the Ultra-Famous have Reeaal Friends? [Part 5]

27 Nov

Taylor wins the pronoun game.  I’m not even going to try to untangle the speaker/recipient/changing characters in this song.  It was written so convoluted that I haven’t even seen a satisfactory answer to this yet.  Instead, I took lyric snippets from other songs featuring the same word, to get a feeling about Taylor’s sentiment and even the song’s subject(s). Don’t get overwhelmed with the length of this post.  The word I’m trying to point-out from Question… lyrics is highlighted.  

Miss Americana showed me that Taylor is pretty isolated, and lonely much of the time. In the documentary I came away with the impression that the people around Taylor are mostly superficial. Brendan was distracted, for instance. Abigale is still Taylor’s friend, but things were stilted. They are in different places in life. Abigale has a family and Taylor’s super-fame is not relatable. They had little to talk about. Tree, Taylor’s publicist seemed like the most genuine, interested person, but she’s on the pay-role. The other people on Taylor’s team seemed harsh and judgmental. Their focus was the brand making money, not Taylor the person who has actual thoughts and feelings. Taylor’s love interest was seldom shown. It was weirdly secret, and when Taylor won her Grammy’s she had nobody to share her happy moment with. Taylor’s mom was the only person that was there for Taylor, the person. And I think Taylor’s super-celebrity status makes her alone in the world. Her idea of friends conveys this:

And every single one of your friends was making fun of you

Friends:

Dorothea

blank space

You need to calm down

paper rings

london boy

Lover

champagne problems

tis the damn season

the last great American dynasty

Archer

This is why we can’t have nice things

Closure

Taylor talks about 5 categories of friends, with many people overlapping in the categories over time.  There are famous friends, other queers, peripheral friends, betrayers, and a friend who became her lover.

There are strategic friends.  “You got shiny friends since you left town.” The friends are new, dazzling, and elevate status.  What Dorthea does not say is that the friends have a lot in common, are good listeners, or loyal.  I get the impression from the passing remarks that these relationships could be superficial or to be in a certain scene.   The friendships are for publicity, to get in a door, or just thrust together because they are in the same business.  In the highly satirical song, Blank Space, she casually says “let’s be friends.”  There is nothing real or authentic about it.  It’s not a friendship based on trust or mutual interests, it’s mutually beneficial.  Taylor is describing entering into a contract for the benefit of the media and general public, not a genuine connection.  

Then there are other queers.  Taylor feels their commonalities.  They are physically around where she lives, and in the industry.  They share similar experiences and struggles.  Though Welcome to New York doesn’t specifically say “friends” it has a similar tone to the rest of these songs.  

Welcome to New York

These people escaped their small towns and the homophobia so rife in them.  Many of them were estranged from family and had no one when they came to New York looking for a better life.  They put that angst, and the pain of being bullied for being gay, away and lived more authentically.  These people came together, and are coexisting in the same space, but Taylor doesn’t mention being especially close to any of them.  She is doing her own thing, and they are going about their business too.  They nervously and excitedly walk through the village realizing there are people like them.  They search for love–a unique experience given their childhood isolation and trauma.  And Taylor is right there with them, feeling the difference in acceptance between Nashville and New York.  In You Need to Calm Down, these friends are explicitly named as part of the queer community.  The homophobes are comin’ at them like a missile.  And Taylor is on the inside of the gay trailor-park, the same as the queer friends.  Though she isn’t close to any one person in this community, she gets it.  Taylor is one of the queers.

There are other people that are around during the important relationship.  In a lot of the songs, friends are relegated to the background, while Taylor and her Lover are centered in the lyrics.  In Paper Rings the friends were high the first night they met.  It’s like Taylor barely notices the friends because her love “blurs her periphery”-they are just inebriated people that can crash in the living room.  The friends are just there in songs like London Boy.  Champagne problems reiterate that the friends are fickle, not evergreen.  If something goes wrong, the friends aren’t there cheering.  Much like this song, Question…

The fourth category are betrayers.  I get major frenemies vibes from most of these songs, actually.  In Tis the Damn Season Taylor talks about so-called friends just there to gossip.  Last Great American Dynasty uses bitch-pack, a moniker that may be a bit sarcastic, but isn’t a super-nice way to describe actual friends.  The Archer says all her enemies started out as friends.  In This is Why we Can’t Have Nice Things, Taylor reminds the audience that she isn’t that great at picking out authentic friends.  She aligned with people who later turned on her, and threw her under the bus.  She makes a point to toast her real friends, but in the same breath mentions the people she can actually depend on-her mama and her baby(lover).  

Finally, there is Karlie.  Her lover and her went from friends to this.  She keeps writing pages about their epic love story.  And after the final break-up being friends again would iron it out so nice.  But Taylor doesn’t want that.

Fletcher’s Song, Kelsea Ballerini’s Verse. Taylor Swift is the Ex Kelsea is (actually/additionally) Talking About

19 Nov

Fletcher Better Version (Remix)

[Verse 2: Kelsea Ballerini, Kelsea Ballerini & FLETCHER]

I was there on the side of your stages

I grew up for our difference in ages

Never thought we were subject to changes, yeah

And I did my best to fix it

‘Til death ’cause then I meant it

Your next girl is gonna get you reinvented and not pretendin’

“‘Til death cause I meant it” is a red herring or double-meaning or 2nd person being addressed–whichever you like. 

This post will say why:

[side-note: I have whole other posts planned on why Taylor might be “Becky” and a double meaning for that song could be addressing Kelsea’s dalliance (and Fletcher’s thirst) for Taylor. Also, we need to talk about Snow on the Beach in its entirety.]

Pertinent Taylor lyrics:

Happiness.  Interestingly has parts in the same vein as this song of Fletcher’s about growing from a relationship, and the next person getting the benefit of those lessons.

“I haven’t met the new me yet”  

Your next girl is gonna get you reinvented 

Snow on the Beach.  We will talk about this song, but in it’s own post or this very long post will be too, too long.  But the line that comes into play against Kelsea’s verse in Fletcher’s remix:

“Fake it til you make it”

and not pretendin’

Let’s talk about the timeline referenced in Kelsea’s verse. The beside stages different ages part:

Ages and Years the Players Moved to TN/Nashville and got signed:

Kelsea

Kelsea’s Ex-husband

Suspected dalliance and Kelsea’s recent song-muse

To sum up birthdays and age differences:

Morgan Evans’ b-day is 4/25/85 (8yr difference from Kelesa)

Taylor’s b-day is 12/13/1989 (4yr difference from Kelsea)

Kelsea’s b-day is 9/12/93

Let’s talk about proximity since beside stages puts Kelsea close to the song’s subject:

Moved closer to Nashville and got a foot in the door of the industry:

Taylor was first of these 3, getting there in 2002 at age 13-

Taylor gets signed at a younger age and earlier year than the other two, 17 in 2006-

Morgan got a toe into Nashville in 2007.  He lived in Australia, so it took longer for him to break into TN-

Morgan was born in Australia and lived there until 2015-

Morgan gets signed last of these 3 in 2017-

Kelsea moved to Nashville in 2008, after Taylor was there, but before Morgan moved to the U.S.-

When they got to TN, how old they were compared to Kelsea’s age:

Taylor came to Nashville as a songwriter in 2004 at age 14 (Kelsea was 11)

Morgan flew to Nashville (from Australia where he lived) to record a single in 2007 at age 22 (Kelsea was 14)  

Kelsea moved to Nashville to write songs in 2008 at age 15.

Morgan didn’t move to the U.S./Nashville until 2015 at age 30 (Kelsea was 22)

In the verse, Kelsea is figuratively and literally looking up to the person on the stage. She is younger than them and they are more established in the industry than she is in the timeline of the verse.

Age of getting signed:

Taylor got signed in 2006 at age 17 (Kelsea was 13)

Kelsea was signed in 2012 at age 19.

Morgan was signed in 2017 at age 32. (Kelsea was 24 and had already been signed for 5 years)

So the verse already doesn’t really work with Morgan. He’s actually getting fame in another country when Kelsea is not yet in the business. Then, when he does break into Nashville, it’s after Kelsea.

When did Kelsea meet them:

Kelsea (who had been signed for 4 years already) met Morgan (who would be signed the next year) for the first time when she flew to Morgan’s country, Australia in 2016 

She was 23 when they met (hardly “growing up”).

Was Kelsea beside Morgan’s stages?  It looks like she was in TN and he was in…  Australia.

So we established Kelsea was in the U.S., not Australia.  She got signed prior to Morgan.  They did not meet until she was 23, when he was yet unsigned, and she had already been signed for 4 years.

I was there on the side of your stages

I grew up for our difference in ages

These lines are vague enough that they don’t say exact ages/years/people.  But I interpret the sentiment of those lines as Kelsea looked up to this older, more established and famous person when she was young.  Then she grew into a more personal relationship with that person.

Enter Taylor Swift.

Kelsea “met” Taylor (as a fan) in 2008.  Taylor was 19 and Kelsea was 15.

Taylor mentions Kelsea’s song in a Tweet in 2015.  Taylor was 26 and Kelsea was 22.

That same year (2015)

KELSEA BALLERINI PERFORMS WITH TAYLOR SWIFT IN NASHVILLE OVER THE WEEKEND

By Samantha Dawn Mutschler / September 29, 2015

Taylor Swift performed in Nashville as a part of her 1989 Tour this past weekend and she brought out a very special guest. Kelsea Ballerini performed her number 1 song “Love Me Like You Mean It” with Swift for thousands of screaming fans. It was a huge moment for women in Country music with both women performing the first debut song from a woman to hit number 1 in 9 years!

Ballerini continues to wow audiences of all ages with her music, recently being named one of People’s “One’s to Watch”. It was a special moment for her, stating on her instagram:

Ballerini met Swift about 8 years ago at a meet and greet at one of Swift’s concerts, as time has flown by the success of both of these women have blossomed.

In 2017 Kelsea crossed over from fan to friend.  Taylor was 28 and Kelsea was 24

You see the evolution.  Kelsea looked up to Taylor as a child, even moving to Nashville because she was inspired by Taylor.  Kelsea was a fan.  Then took a very familiar path to music stardom.  Taylor noticed Kelsea as an artist and her Tweet boosted Kelsea’s followers and chart numbers.  Kelsea was invited to perform with Taylor, more equal in status than a fan, but Taylor was still more of a mentor.  Then Taylor invited Kelsea into her personal life.  I think that better matches the lyrics in Fletcher’s song.

Never thought we were subject to changes, yeah

This is maybe the most important line in the verse because it’s a multiple meaning and references other work (Kelsea’s most recent GAY album).

In the context of divorce with Morgan, Kelsea is saying they grew apart (yawn).

Subject to Changes is the title of Kelsea’s most recent album.

Subject to changes in the context of the album is Kelsea realizing she likes women.

Taylor

is not the only one who can write for

plausible deniability.

LaZY DAVE Saturday [3rd post of 4]

11 Sep

Sorry for the delay!  It’s been a busy coupe of weeks shifting into all my new schedules.  And I already have a test next week!  And I’m having to go to work (4 hours) extra for obligatory training.  So blogging has been low on my priority list.  But I’m waiting to go into work for an hour–so here it is:

SATURDAY:

We didn’t get tiks for Saturday. Because they’re too expensive, we’d be too tired and dirty, and the crowd is over the fratty line for us.

We woke up at our secret camping spot (feathers) which is a GORGEous location to wake up and I’m not sure why so many people pay big bucks to party on top of each other, when this is a few miles away, quiet, FREE and relatively empty (4 caps Friday night) but I’m glad they don’t.  It’s lovely to have it to ourselves.  I ran my obligatory mile.  I didn’t notice anything awry on the way out of the camp site, other then loose gravel on the road that was a little slippy for my liking.  But on the way back, I found that it was UPhill all the way.  And against the wind.  Needless to say, I got my sweat on.  But it was one of the most beautiful runs ever, overlooking a canyon with bay salt walls, with windmills in the distance.

SEATS-the gorge 023

We take pictures at this beautiful scene each year we attend the concerts.  But I should have done it before my run, because I look sweaty and windblown and none of the pics are suitable for Facebook.  Then, we ate more of our wonderful snacks and smoothies on the way to River Road where Cool’s friend lives.  We had wanted to visit her for several years, but 2.5 hours proves to be a bit too far for school, and 2 different work schedules to manage.  Mostly, we’re locked in Spokompton–which is why this summer was special with only a few hours of my time scheduled and just Cool’s job to work around.  Anyway, we did plan on seeing Cool’s school pal this time. I was excited for a shower, Cool was excited to go to the lake and sleep in a real bed. And we were ready for a BBQ (having brought brats, dawgs, and chips from home). But our host had a migraine and was out of commission.

Which ended up working out OK, because we were tired, and recovering from our fight from the night before. So we showered, napped, watched TV (we’re now hooked on “Criminal Minds” on Netflix) and vegged out all day.  But then our host’s father (who was supposed to BBQ) needed stitches so those plans were also off.  But Cool’s friend started feeling a little better.  I had asked Cool when we arrived at 10AM if she had her pills, and she said she didn’t.  Cool finally LOOKED to see if she brought some Rx migraine pills, and turns out she did, so her friend got a pill around 4PM.  We got to chat a little, and went to bed relatively early, missing Saturday’s concert as planned.

SEATS-the gorge 032

And of course (as is our luck), fans are calling Saturday the best show of 2014. The setlist we’d die for occured.  Here’s some stats from AntsMarching:

Fri:

= 16.7% Away From the World

= 4 star rating

= rarest song is Rapunzel

= rarity 7 of 42 summer concerts; overall = 26.32

Sat:

= 20% Remember Two Things

= 4.5 star rating

= rarest song is So Much to Say-Too Much tease-into Halloween!

= rarity of 8 of 42 summer shows; overall = 24.76

Sun:

= 21.7% Under the Table and Dreaming

= 4.5 star rating

= rarest song is Loving Wings or Steady As We Go (played once during the summer tour)

= rarity of 2 of 42 summer shows; overall = 26.19

I have no complaints about our setlists, but you always want what you don’t have I guess.  I had put “So Much to Say”-tease-closer on my setlist wishlist and that would have been amazing to see.  And obviously, we were devastated Brandi did a duet with Dave (only on this night). I heard rumors Brandi did a meet & greet Saturday.  Of course.  Because that’s my luck.  If we had gone Friday and Saturday, this would have occurred Sunday.  If we had gone all 3 days, it wouldn’t have happened at all.

But we got clean and rested and did some visiting Saturday so we had a good time and didn’t yet know what we had missed.  Next up–Sunday, the final concert!

The All-Important Facebook Birthday Wish

8 Sep

It’s hard not to gauge this as the end all, friendship test.  You can’t even make the time to jot down a happy birthday on my wall, ON my actual birthday = you’re not worth MY time.

And that is soooooooo silly.  I know it is.  Especially (this is the hypocritical part) when I do not wish ANYone happy birthday.  Because I’m too lazy.  And everyone else does it so I figure it doesn’t matter.  And Facebook keeps moving those damn notifications and I’m tired of searching around for them.

But it makes me think twice when someone I thought cared about me doesn’t/didn’t.  Where was Sarah?  My very best friend just 5 years ago–when I lived in Missouri and before she got a BF.  Where were Dawn and Chelle, my first friends from elementary school, and closet friends at the end of High School?  Where were ANY co-workers from ever?  I worked with various people in the last 12 years and exactly 2 of them (and I have lots, and lots of work people on my friends list) wished my a happy birthday.

It just goes to show A)  Facebook is not a gauge of true relationship status and B) Give your time and energy to those that deserve it.

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