Tag Archives: God

The Finger is Pushing Me Out of WA

17 Jan

When I think of the people problems I’ve had since I moved to Washington, it makes me feel horrible. I think, why am I having so much trouble now? Am I really THAT much of a $hithead that nobody can tolerate me? It’s totally discouraging.

And it never happened before. Sure, there was a person or two everywhere that I didn’t like or couldn’t get along with–just the normal stuff. But not every person, in every situation! It seems like I act the same ways I always have, but I still have tons of personal troubles.

Fremont st sign 1

But Cool reminded me of the Finger (of God). We really believe that the finger made me leave Missouri for vet school. Otherwise I might have stayed there forever–I really liked it. Then, once I lost all ties to MO, it was the Finger who made vet school fall through at the last minute. And the Finger that brought me (not so randomly) to Seattle. But I was never supposed to stay in Washington. My path was just to pick up Cool and go. So Cool reminded me all these interpersonal problems that seemingly come out of nowhere and are so pervasive, are really just a message to move on. The Finger is reminding me that THIS is not where I belong, and ensuring I don’t get too comfortable or too complacent.

corn maze 2

I HAVE to have personal strife to remind me we belong elsewhere. So that helped me feel a lot better about all my work and school troubles, the lost friends, and the flakes. It’s just the finger doing it’s thing, I shouldn’t take it so personally.

 

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Just Appreciate the Sentiment

23 Dec

bearI am so tired of the “Merry Christmas” vs. “Happy Holidays” December refrain debate.  Firstly, I think it’s nice that people take the time to wish one another a good future for that little piece of December.  For someone to turn that nice gesture around to be something negative is idiotic.  Really.  If you’re a Jehovah Witness, Jewish, atheisest, or something else that doesn’t celebrate CHRISTmascrazy tree and someone wishes you a merry one, why say anything but thank you?  Don’t make a federal case out of it–they just mean to tell you they are thinking about you and have a little bit nicer of a life–big deal if it wasn’t your denomination.

I end up saying “Happy Holidays” more often, just because how could I possibly know every single person’s personal religious and spiritual dragonbeliefs?  So I find saying holiday is more all-inclusive.  But some people take issue with taking the Christ out of Christmas.  Lame.  Don’t they know where the word holiday came from in the first place?  Holiday started as HOLY-day.  Holy–meaning a very Biblical root, indeed.  So saying Happy Holidays isn’t the ruin of Jesus’ birthday, people.

Yesterday, I had to work reception–which is an endeavor for sure.  I’m cross-trained, but usually my x-mas 2always in the back.  So I was, of course, nervous.  Though I don’t work the front much at this particular hospital, I was one of two receptionists for 6 weeks in Seattle, and was the primary receptionist for 4 months at DVVH–so I’m no stranger to the wave-like influx of people.  But Saturday, I did not get one non-client trying to get in, no crazy emergencies called, no one kept me talking on the phone for a lengthy santa's planechat, not a single client fussed at the wait, and no one was angered by the price.  Unusual and stellar.  And I said “Happy Holidays” to every one of them.

But I paid for the pleasantness when it came time to close out the $ for the day.  Things were messed up somehow.  And after working  literal 50 hours in the week, the longer I looked at the numbers, the LESS things made sense.  It was awful.  Tony x-mas 6Then my calculator broke.  Surprisingly, I was not frustrated–just tired and confused.  I think I could have sat there calculating and recounting for 5 more hours, and still come out unbalanced.  I have never, never gone home past 1 PM on a Saturday (and can usually finish before that) but at 1:45 PM, the vet offered to look if I made a phone call to a notorious client.  And for the only time ever, in history, I was actually happy to do so. My brain was just numb from looking at those numbers.  Which I’m still not certain if they are correct and accurate–hopefully they are.

x-mas 3I made the call, and at the end of it slipped up and said, “Have a merry Christmas!”  To which the obnoxious client indignantly said, “I am NOT Christian and do not celebrate Christmas.  I had a wonderful solstice yesterday though.”  I wanted to reach through the phone and choke a bitch.  Instead I abruptly cut off the continuing diatribe and said, “Goodbye,” hanging up the phone.x-mas bulb

So during the holidays, whichever you celebrate or don’t, please hold back from being THAT douche that lectures when good (possibly erroneous to your very personal beliefs) sentiment is shared.  Whichever refrain is used, it’s better than someone saying, “Eff you and go to hell.”

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The Finger of God

23 Oct

the long story–to be written when time allows

 

The Cabin-Mansion should have never happened–both Mary and Kim loved me just as much as I loved them.  And how could I know Mary was going through a mid-life crises and cheating on Kim with the hairdresser, and that Kim was a full-blown alcoholic?  How could I have envisioned my respected mentor, and one of my closest friends–my model for a successful lesbian relationship in such a downward spiral?  I never DID anything to warrant the terrible treatment that characterized that time in my life.  And nothing I did, could help abate the tension and relieve the hurt everyone felt.  If that wasn’t the finger telling me to change my plans from becoming Mary’s veterinary associate and eventually owning her hospital in my hometown of Dayton, I don’t know what it was.  Why else would things fall apart so quickly, drastically, and completely?

 

Nothing would have pulled me out of Missouri aside from the prospect of going to veterinary school.  I never would have quit Noah’s Ark, given up my apartment and moved if it had not been for my acceptance at Saint George Veterinary School.  Going to the Caribbean wasn’t in the cards, so in an aberrant twist of fate, my loan fell through with short notice and I was forced to come up with a back-up plan.

 

I fully believe my life twisted, and my well-laid plans fell through so I would randomly move to Seattle and meet the seraphic Kidron.

 

I never felt accepted at Aurora Veterinary Hospital.  I was always a pariah there, and never felt camaraderie with either my coworkers or the clients.  I think The Finger arranged this so I wouldn’t become loyal to AVH and stay in Seattle.  I am typically a fiercely loyal person, who would never leave a job short–even to the peril of my own goals.

 

How is it possible my most valued possessions both failed in Seattle?  My laptop crashed when I got there putting me in a panic and thrusting me closer to Cool.  Without the broken Luscious-Berry I may have never gotten as close to Kidron as I did.  And you know Hannah was The Finger’s doing.  The introverted Cool and anti-social me would have never come in contact if it weren’t for Hannah’s Craigslist ad.  Then the deleterious way my Jetta broke down out of nowhere. . .  That’s still too raw to write about.

 

I felt The Finger finally cut me a break when Kelly came into my life.  I had moved into that ill-fated situation of 12th Avenue in hopes of regaining my independence, getting away from Auntie, and controlling my own life.  Then, I almost immediately realized what a mistake it was and moved back with Auntie.  Not without consequence–I had signed a year lease and couldn’t get back out of it.  Paying for that empty room was really hurting me, and making me depressed and regretful.  I was able to ingratiate Kelly and have her take over my lease–on the same day I (surprisingly) got a good price for my broke-down Jetta.

 

I am motivated to create my own path on my own time-line, but “The Finger” has a way of pushing me back to my proper path.  I laud the finger for making some crazy, unbelievable circumstances come together which force me to back-track and follow my intended roles in life.

 

Sometimes the finger has worked in gradations, very gently pointing me in a certain direction.  Other times, it had shaken up my entire life, as in the case of “The Cabin-Mansion” and “Satin George.”

 

As soon as I saw Cat’s Meow in June I knew I wanted to work there.  The name was clever, the remodeled house it was in was super-cute, and the office manager who was working reception the day I came in was very nice.  She asked me a few questions and I felt she liked me.  I was so hopeful about Cat’s Meow I programmed the number into my phone–just in case they called.  It was the only number I put in my phone, even though I handed my resume to every vet in town.  Though I had garnered a lot of good recommendations during my ten years as an employee at veterinary hospitals and had a stellar resume not to mention a college degree, I was unable to get work in Spokane.  I had not one, but two interviews the first week I moved here, for heaven’s sake!  The first job was for kennel work, and I am overqualified for it–but the office manager said she was slow to make a decision, so it may be four months. . .  Obviously that was not going to work.  And then a high volume clinic really liked me, and I was afraid I would have to take it for a lack of other offers.  I knew I made a good impression, but the manager suddenly called and said they really were impressed with me but the girl I was supposed to replace wasn’t quitting after all.  If The Finger wasn’t responsible for that–I don’t know how it happened that way.  AND I was applying for every fast food, grocery, and janitorial job with no results.  Really suspicious.  I think The Finger worked it so I would get a job at Cat’s Meow–who wasn’t even hiring at the time.  I handed my resume to Cat’s Meow and the receptionist said they weren’t hiring. . .  Two days later I was called for an interview, then they changed it to a working interview.