Traumatic Timing

How my life has changed since the ugly SGU loan incident.  I have moved (twice) and am now waiting to hear from the vet school.  My would-have-been classmates have all finished the classroom portion of their DVM program.  They are all posting on Facebook about how they never have to sit through another lecture or take another final exam. . .  It makes me wish I was finishing up too–instead of sitting around waiting to START!  Oh, and earlier this year, the school was finally accepted by the AVMA–meaning they are now eligible for federal funding–and I could have gotten a loan to attend.  What kind of crummy timing IS that?  I have been so unlucky in my quest to veterinary school.  Here is a reminder of the angst I felt when I ran out of financial options and had to give up my seat in my SGU class of 2013:

 

I Take That Back [post from 8-?-09]

that last blog stating I had a co-signer for my vet school loan, that is.

FUCK!!!!

The other incoming student got scared and backed out of our concurrent co-signing agreement/scheme.  She will be deferring to the next semester–which leaves me at square one:  No co-signer, no loan=no vet school.

JUST when I was starting to relax and be excited, the dream was yanked away from me again.  The parents still won’t co-sign.  I don’t need anyone with good credit–as a matter of fact it’s preferable I get someone with nothing to lose to co-sign my loan application.  The goal here is to be denied the Sallie Mae loan so I can apply for the in school loan being offered.

I don’t know what to do, and am quickly running out of time.

Why, why, why???!!!!!!!!

I take that back [posted 8-3-09]

that last blog stating I had a co-signer for my vet school loan, that is.

FUCK!!!!

If you think it’s obnoxious how my blog content has wavered back and fourth, imagine my life.  One hour, everything is going to work out, the next, it’s no veterinary school at all.  The main reason is tht the school is faltering.  They will not give any facts–defiantly not in a timely manner!  They have the audacity to treat me like a nuisance when I ask what the scene is.  This loan situation and the remedy’s for it seem to fluctuate by the minute.  My nerves are at breaking-point.  It is exhausting not knowing what even next week holds for me.  While I absolutely do not want to forgo veterinary school, especially when it is so close to being a realized dream, I can’t stand this dithering for much longer.

My newest dilemma is that the other incoming student got scared and backed out of our concurrent co-signing agreement/scheme.  She will be deferring to the next semester–which leaves me at square one:  No co-signer, no loan=no vet school.

The paradox is JUST when I was starting to relax and be excited, the dream was yanked away from me again.  The parents still won’t co-sign.  It’s quite the contradiction:  I don’t need anyone with good credit–as a matter of fact it’s preferable I get someone with nothing to lose to co-sign my loan application.  The goal here is to be denied the Sallie Mae loan so I can apply for the in school loan being offered.

I don’t know what to do, there is much ambiguity about my next step and I am quickly running out of time.

Why, why, why???!!!!!!!!

False Alarm [posted 8-2-09]

At least, I think.

I’m still not eligible to get the Sallie Mae loan without a co-signer.  I still have no viable co-signer.  BUT the school is now offering a loan to students who are rejected for the Sallie Mae loan with a co-signer.  This loan will cover tution and housing, which is all I need since I have been working my ass off for the last year, fundraising, and proving my nonconformity and outside-the-box thinking by selling my body parts.  Of course, I am very circumspect about what the school will actually follow through with.  They have been less than helpful during this loan crises, so my prudence is warranted.

I have worked out a deal with one of the other mavrick incoming students who also couldn’t get a co-signer.  We will co-sign each other’s Sallie Mae loan knowing we will both be denied.  Upon rejection, we are both eligable for the school’s loaan-yay!  Are idea is revolutionary–how could it go wrong!  We are both in the same loan boat, and don’t want to miss the boat to the island, so we are cautiously going ahead with the only plan we have.  And neither one of us is a risk for losing anything, given we are each other’s collateral.

I still think the school sucks for putting me through that stress the last 2 weeks.  They were not heedful of this terrible situation in time, and as a consequence it is my butt on the line!  It has made me very iconoclast especially towards foreign private schools, airlines, and a financial “counselors” a.k.a. hacks who do nothing.  I would be wary to ever apply to a foreign school again, especially if it is non-accredited, and for-profit.  There is no excuse to run a business so haphazardly!  I am also fairly solicitousness in how much trust I place in my parents.  When stress gets high, they are known to retract their support (monetary or otherwise) and protect themselves, beyond reason.  I won’t soon forget their lack of sensitivity during such a trying time.  I’ll probably never really trust them again. . .  And I know, I’ll NEVER, NEVER fly on American Airlines again.  I should have been more mindful of how willing they are to rip people off before I purchased advanced tickets.  I swear, I will remember this whole episode and be vigilant about avoiding those that have wronged me!

At the same time, this is my one guaranteed path to vet school and I’m sure going to take it if I can.  I will remain alert about any and all funding options, and just hope and pray that things will work out.  So cross your fingers that my rebel scheme will work out and I can go to the island next Saturday!

So Close. . . [posted 7-28-09]

And yet so far away.  As you know I was finally accepted to veterinary school.  I was all set to fly to the Caribbean on August 8. I had been planning for this move to a foreign country for the last year.  I had 3 international flights paid for.  I had packed all my belongings in boxes, paid a year of storage, quit my job, and moved halfway across the country (with my cats) to my parents’ house.

You can see where this is going.  Yesterday, I found I cannot attend vet school.  Yet another refutation to my big dream!  The school waited until last week to tell us about our only loan option.  Nothing could appease my anger at their mismanagement and lackadaisical attitude over this huge problem of financing an education.  I would like to share polemic against this whole situation with everyone who will listen:  Despite my 720 credit, I was denied any loan without a co-signer.

My parents REFUSE to sign.  As you may expect not much could pacify my hostility over this apathy on their part.  Relatives and family friends, not only don’t have a responsibility for my well-being, they have poor credit, other obligations or dependents, or fears of losing their house in this economy.  Towards former employers and family friends, I have noantipathy.  Mostly I’m humiliated at having to present the argument they should co-sign my loan in the first place. . .  Extended family, especially those well-to-do have earned a little of my contempt, but I’m certain it will be mollified when this episode becomes a bad memory.  Anyway, without a loan, I can’t make the required $50,000 for a year of tuition, housing, books, island amenities, etc. . .

I have failed at my dream of becoming a veterinarian—again.  I’m starting to wonder if the universe is against me.  Everything had been going so well, my 26^th birthday was going to be a new start.  Now, I’m devastated, lost, back at square one.  This hurts so much that I don’t think the pain will ever be assuaged.  To make matters worse, my mom kicked me out of their house by August 24.  She has to put her craft materials in my old bedroom, you know.  MUCH more important than letting me get back on my feet!  I may remain on speaking terms with her this time, but my reticence isn’t pacified.  This (unearned)denunciation is one of many, and a person has to draw the line somewhere.

Now I’m in controversy.  I have no home, no job, no career, and I’m not sure where to go from here.  I just know I need to conciliate the anger and pain (for the short-term) and do whatever I’m going to do quickly!