Tag Archives: growth

can you blame me for being FRUSTRATED?!!! [posted 3-22-09]

17 Jan

I tried to tell myself not to be bitter.  What do I care if other (shit-heads)
succeed?  Things ended up working out for
the best—even better than my original plan.
It still angers me that Mizzou accepts a deplorable caliber of people
these days.

Don’t get me wrong—I think the school is stellar (or used to
be, anyway).  Every veterinarian I have
worked for has graduated from the school, and couldn’t be doing better.  They are smart, talented, and caring—excellent
examples of the profession.  I look up to
the people I worked for (maybe not in their personal lives)
professionally.  Lately though, Mizzou is
letting. . .  Just unsatisfactory people
in!  I would like to talk to the crazies
on the admissions committee, because they are obviously clueless.

I started to question them when “Katrina” entered into a
class, when she didn’t have as much animal experience as me.  I felt we were equal candidates, except she
was a year ahead of me in school and had already obtained her degree.  I felt I gave up my own spot in that class by
getting her a job at a veterinary hospital.
She didn’t really work before that, and I kicked myself for giving her
that advantage.  She was my friend
though, and had fantastic grades, so I was happy for her.

When they let in one of the M’s (unaccountable M) from my
work, I thought the school was crazy.
This M did nothing but attend college, until her Senior year.  A really late start for pre-vet
students.  She hadn’t even done any clubs
or sports in high school, probably because she is so flaky she is unable to
stick with anything.  THEN, she joined a
lot of clubs, and took on 2 jobs in that last year just so she could write in
on the application.  She did not put much
time into any of these endeavors, and she half-assed everything she did.  As a matter of fact, she worked 6 hours a
week at one job so she could keep her housing, and worked only weekends at Noah’s
Ark—though we were short-staffed and could have used her waaay more.  Also, I say worked, but really mean chatted
with everyone while other people finished the tasks needing to be
accomplished.  I forgot to mention she
FAILED her freshmen college classes because she was too wild.  The vet school still let her in, while
denying me.

The latest undeserving person, (that prompted me to write
this blog) also worked with me.  I use
the term work, loosely.  This girl was
late almost every weekend—not just 10 minutes, we’re talking HOURS.  She literally left work to go get lunch one
Saturday and got high–on work time!  AND
she came back to work (high) and sat there stoned.  Luckily (or un-luckily, depending on how you
think about it), my employers are naive and didn’t notice.  Just the kind of person you want making life
and death decisions for your animals, huh?
During that time, she would also take random pills with alcohol on
weekends (or whenever).  Once she was so
messed up that she was wandering the streets, had to be carried to an
apartment, than peed her pants!  This
girl ended up quitting her job “because she didn’t want to wake up early in the
morning.”  She never actually told her
employers either—she quit through a phone call with a co-worker.   At school, she failed her first 2 years of
college and dropped physics and chemistry cause she missed so many labs.  She had to re-take science in the summer, and
(get this) her mom came to lecture with her—to make sure she made it to class!  This girl just got accepted into MU’s 2013
veterinary class.  What the FUCK??!

After letting these losers in, the school wonders why they
have such a high rate of transfers, failures, and drop-outs.  Let’s see, 9 people in the 2010 class and 11
in the 2012 class!  When you only have a
class size of 80 to begin with, that’s a huge deal.  It also means some person that wasn’t accepted
to the school (me) got gypped.  Some
retard that left those classes took my spot (I was on the alternate-list) and
wasted it.  But really–what does the
school think is going to happen when they let these people in their
school?!  It shouldn’t upset me, cause
hello, the veterinary school I’m going to is in a WAY better climate than the Midwest,
but c’mon—is this for REAL?!

Become Wise (Douche Song) [posted 9-10-08]

17 Jan

You KNOW I have to write my annual Douche blog.  This one is a two-part-er though.  I feel I should include other mistakes as well—to downplay the impact Douche had on my life.  This year, I included all of my official long term relationships that coincidentally started in September and were doomed to fail.  Since you’ve heard all the details and fall-out already, here is a poem I wrote to mark the occasion:

The real world is only a Guise

A scare-tactic to fill innocents with Lies

A means for the cynical to Criticize

Then growing up, you get a Surprise

Life, as one can Surmise

Is not that serious—living is the Prize

And along the way the naive become Wise

Hindered and helpless describes my time with You

All I wanted was to be free

But You tore my wings like a child dissecting a butterfly

Ripping my purity and untarnished spirit away from me hastily

The impact left me ashamed and naked

Alone and abandoned, slowly passing time with You

Withering away, I blamed myself and fell further into Your abyss

Buried alive, I wondered if I would ever escape darkness and claw my way to light

A masked assailant in a sinister, cold night,

You left my spirit sharp, as unevenly cut as a bottle broken for a fight.

Disturbed and still under your spell, I drank from the severed shard of glass

An angry taste of iron in my mouth

My miserable existence tedious, I had to wage war for my own preservation

My anger shone red, eyes turned stone, and emotions ceased

A flightless butterfly now a serpent

Jaded by Your touch

The real world is only a Guise

A scare-tactic to fill innocents with Lies

A means for the cynical to Criticize

Then growing up, you get a Surprise

Life, as one can Surmise

Is not that serious—living is the Prize

And along the way the naive become Wise

Still cold and reptilian, You caught me off guard

A startling new beginning that astounded me

leaping on lilly pads leisurely

I enjoyed the moment and our undeniable chemistry

I loved You fully, didnt see your imperfections

My spirit redeemed, as bright and clean as the shallow water in which we swam

Purple skies and drunken, passionate nights

My skin shivered with delight every time the moon would shine

Like our pond, my spirit began to get murky as we fooled around

Reality returned—this thing between us could not last

My journey was not finished

I was no longer snake, but didnt want to remain a frog, I wanted to soar again

I knew You could evolve with me

You were resolute

Remembering my struggle I became more judgmental

I needed You to aspire to more

The real world is only a Guise

A scare-tactic to fill innocents with Lies

A means for the cynical to Criticize

Then growing up, you get a Surprise

Life, as one can Surmise

Is not that serious—living is the Prize

And along the way the naive become Wise

Love Lost (My First Blog Poem) [posted 2-27-07]

17 Jan

I should have listened to that inner voice

That told me we were not the same

Instead I made a stupid choice

And brought myself into your game

I attempted to learn to love you

Willpower alone can’t spark love’s flame

Your persona blinded me

I wasted time, it is a shame

After the breakup, I started to see

You were evil–your heart is lame

I mourned my innocence lost

A jaded person, I became

I was broken until our paths crossed

Infatuation was immediate–we both came

It seemed fated, things were different this time

We were the same

I was untrusting, it was a crime

You broke it off, and I left you with full blame

I was upset, but started coping

Your post-breakup behavior appalled me–it was not tame

I cut all ties, I started hoping

That with distance between us I would remember your good name