Reflection: Best Moments of 2020 (good to very, very best)

*Covid-19 note: We haven’t been into public since March 14, when we were sent home to work. Other than contact-free vet appointments, walks around the neighborhood (crossing the street if there were other people), and one curb-side pick up of Bountiful Baskets in March. Other than that, we have not had contact with people or gone anywhere. So a few of these items (marked with *) happened before America took Covid-19 seriously, so don’t worry about us being covidiots. Pics on items w/o * are from prior years. About when the sports-world went dark, I realized it was an emergency. Then, after we no longer had to go to the work building we didn’t go anywhere.

-Instead of being in an old stadium very far from where it’s feasible to see games, Covid-19 allowed us to see way more televised WNBA games then ever before. And our favorite team, Seattle Storm, won! And our favorite player, Sue Bird did AWESOME!!!

-My awful/lazy/inept supervisor got transferred to a different department. What a relief.

-Labor Dave Weekend (drive in YouTube streaming). This sounds kinda sad, but it was actually better than having to miss it year after year when we moved away from WAshington. We always went when we lived in Seattle and Spokane, but it was too difficult and expensive from Utah and Arizona. But it would happen without us, and people would talk and post pics, so it was a hurt for missing out year after year. But not this year! We saw exactly what everyone else saw. For free! From the cleanliness and comfort of our own home. No expense. No long drive. No parking craziness. No $13 shitty nachos. No terrible and overpriced shasta beer. No wind or dust. It was an introvert’s dream!

-Christmas was spread out: online shopping before Halloween, decorating in November, cooking in December. I’m usually disgruntled about the holiday season b/c I’m completely overwhelmed and there are all these expectations and societal pressures. But spread over 3 months is more festive, and less stressful! I’m doing it this way from now on.

This isn’t it, but similar

*Mardi Gras: went out to eat, had the cake, watched YouTube videos, listened to podcasts, had a gold/green/purple outfit. Just got really into it!

-My former Supervisor only did one 1:1 with me in the year (the company mandates a monthly one on one for each employee) and that one didn’t include my numbers, so I always thought I was doing shitty.  Because I only ever heard when I was fucking up.  BUT my new Supervisor had a 1:1 with me and shared my production info (1st time I’d ever seen it).  

Feb 212.45% of goal

Mar 173.86% of goal

April 149.10% of goal

May 158.03% of goal

June-July I was in training

Aug 143.61% of goal

Sept 144.99% of goal

Oct 148.42% of goal

Nov 156.53% of goal

Dec 159.88% of goal

Avg 156.39% of goal

So I had been so nervous all of the times, having the perception I wasn’t doing well. And people kept telling me all these things I wasn’t doing right, but nobody ever told me what I had been doing right. So it was nice to see I was kicking ass on my production!

• 

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*Phoenix Lights of the World. We were smart and went in January. So we totally missed the crowds–which made it so much more fun! There were all kinds of giant animals and stuff related to each of the continents. So it was good pictures, and a non-crowded, non-stressful time. After we’re vaccinated and things are happening again, we’ll make sure to hit this in January after the holiday crowds have dispersed.

• 

-lots of time saved with delivery groceries. This is a luxury that we usually don’t never have indulged.

-Good music. 2020 had a lot of albums that I liked, and special mention for Taylor Swift putting out not one but two surprise albums. And both inspired me to analyze, which I like, and stretches my brain.

-sitting outside in the yard w/the kitties. Because we were home all the time, we had a lot more time with each other and the kitties–which I loved. And because it’s AZ, the weather allowed us to work outside, and sit outside, and play games like ladders and jumbo jenga outside. And without all the showering, commuting/traffic, errands, and all that we gained lots of hours in our week. It was beautiful, and I want to keep it this way forever!

• 

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• 

• 

*Innings Festival. The last event in Feb before we knew Covid-19 was upon us. We love music. We love food. We love drinking in a park. And this year the headliner was Dave Matthews Band! Also, the venue is in very close proximity to our house, so it’s very convenient. It was a good, good time, as Dave would say.

-less guilt about ordering delivery restaurant food. We love restaurant food, but know it’s full of fat and salt, and really hurts the wallet. But with grocery stores getting striped, and delivery difficult sometimes, this became nearer to a necessity item. Which has been such a treat! I’ll be sad when we’re able to go back inside a grocery store and this is over. We’ve eaten really well this quarantine 🙂

*got a treadmill! My used Craigslist treadmill finally died before we moved to AZ. And we lived in a teeny, tiny 3rd floor apartment for nearly 2 years, so we didn’t replace it. But this year in Feb, I used my bonus money to get a really nice (new to us) used one. It is SO much easier to run my daily mile. And I don’t know what I would have done without it during this pandemic. We use it every. single. day. And I love it.

-(contact-free) getting a kitten–Bison. We had been discussing a kitten for some time now, and had even named a future kitten. When we found out we got to work from home, we thought it would be the perfect time to situate a new kitten. So we got Bison. He is very ginormous framed, so he doesn’t look like a kitten, but he’s only one, so he’s a true baby. And he is hyper. But also he’s a really good kitten.

• 

• 

• 

-working from home. My favorite movie for the longest time was Copycat. I thought the premise was clever, and it was suspenseful and historical. And I thought the actors did a good job. But I was truly enamored with the agorophbic lifestyle. She had 3 computers, a mansion-apartment, an online chess game, delivery food–everything you’d want. Like, I’m not afraid to leave my house, but that movie made being a shut-in look really classy and cozy. And I’m not kidding when I say it’s been my dream to live that way ever since I saw it. What a relief it would be! But I thought I’d either have to win the lottery or retire in order to achieve it. But 2020 has been a lot like that.

• 

• 

Our CEO is old-school and said nobody, never, ever would work from home for any length of time ever. And when the pandemic began, all 200 of us worked at low cubes in that same room, sharing 2 bathrooms. Then, when the hospitals were getting overwhelmed, work said we would be split into an A group and a B group and every other week one or the other would work from home so the people remaining in the office could socially distance. They still didn’t really want to let us work from home. But pretty soon, Covid-19 was real bad, and we were all allowed to work from home all the time.

Other than Covid-19, it really has been a dream come true for me. I never realized how tired just going to the office had been making me. I felt rested during the day for the first time in like a decade! And my stress and anxiety went waaaaay down. And we never skipped another workout. Everything good is happening since we’ve been able to work from home. I love it so much, and hope we get to keep doing it forever.

Valentines as Excitement [Anti-Valentine’s #13]

How can I write a 15th (can you believe I have been talking shit about Valentine’s Day for 15 years??!)  original and unique perspective on Valentine’s Day, I asked myself.  I’ve pretty much covered all the points about why I hate Valentine’s Day and why I want the holiday to be UN-acknowledged.  Here’s what I came up with for this year:  Motivations.  Meaning, what’s the real reason we are so set on celebrating this holiday even though most of us don’t really know that saint and it’s a contrived day?

It is human nature to crave excitement.  Celebrations, holidays, trips, and other things out of the ordinary routine stimulate us and make us more excited to live life.  Routines get boring.  We mostly do the same set of things day after day, week after week, year after year.  We want to break up the monotony. And this is nothing new.  Way back in BC times, the people cavorted around worshiping idols, because they wanted some way to expend this fervent energy they felt. Abraham put the kabosh on that.  A little later in history the Romans also craved excitement.  People would watch people or animals (or even people and animals) in grotesque fights to the death.  And today, there are so many entertaining distractions that it would be overwhelming to mention the all:  Sports, screens, and yes, even Valentine’s Day.

 

But I’m jumping ahead.  Let’s go back, back, way back in time to when Jesus was preaching his message of love and devotion across the land.  People even craved excitement in those Biblical times–and it didn’t go well way back then either.  Let me tell an example story [see disclaimer at the bottom (if you want/need) at {1}].  The story:  A group of people heard the gospel from Jesus and became believers in Christianity.  They were all-in and excited about this new religion.  Some even made implements (like statues) to help them worship God. And they celebrated by drinking, dancing, and praying to these statues and other handmade items.  It was a real worship-party!

Abraham came upon the scene and was aghast.  God considered this “worship” idolatry and was angered by it.  God called Abraham to the top of this mountain, where he told him face to face that the people could not worship any statues, or items of any kind.  It was an affront.  God demanded that Abraham go back to the group of people and convey this message and also to tell them they would be punished if they didn’t stop all the ruckus.

Abraham came off the mountain and told the group what God had personally told him.  The people understood the rules, but felt disappointed.  How could they show their fervor?  So Abraham went back and told God the people would cease all their rambunctious idolatry, but the needed something more…  And that was when God decided people should attend religious ceremony called church every week–so the people could get their fill of excitement.  Even back then people wanted a little pizzazz in their lives–but it came at the expense of angering God and getting punished for that.  But it wasn’t just people in the Bible acting out in order to break up monotony–in one of the most progressive eras with people ahead of their time academically, this diversion-seeking behavior was still a thing.

 

The second example of people craving excitement (and getting a little too hedonistic about it) was during Ancient Roman times.  I will not scar you with the gory (and I do mean exceptionally gory) details of all that went on at the Coliseum.  Unless of course you want more gory details, then check out 2} in the sources at the bottom.  People met at this gathering place to watch and jeer what was going on in the middle of the floor.  I will convey to you a general list of the goings on so you can get an idea of how people wanted entertainment to spice up their lives:

Animals were killed-just for sport:

Animals were decapitated by people.

Rare and exotic animals were hunted for pleasure (in unchecked numbers).

Wild animal were also pitted against each other–to see what species would dominate.

Prisoners and peasants were thrown into the middle of the Coliseum with various wild animals.

Some of these people would commit suicide (in unique ways) rather than getting mauled by an animal.

Execution by crushing.

Crucifixions.

Animals were trained to rape people.

It’s pretty egregious stuff, I think you can agree.  So back then were people just heathens–and now we’re more evolved?  Well, sort of.  We (usually) no longer torture animals for the sake of entertainment.  Though I would argue bull fighting, running with the bulls, swimming with dolphins, circuses, etc, etc… still does plenty of harm to animals for our selfish pleasure.  People are slightly less egregious in the present.  Now instead of increasingly vicious forms of celebration, we desire constancy.  We never want to be bored.  And luckily, the technology boom enables us to be entertained 24/7.  In current times we have sports, social media, really, what don’t we have?  Technology allows people to be continually entertained.  We look at our phones to entertain ourselves constantly.

Think how television has impacted the attention span.  In a study of toddlers, the higher number of hours they spent watching television, the shorter their attention spans were at age seven [3].  Now, extrapolate those results to cell phone use.  Or video games.  Any kind of technology you can think of really–where feedback is almost immediate.  I would guess attention spans are getting worse and worse.  And I can see it in the learning styles of coworkers at my jobs.  Millennials are far more likely to act bored and check their phone while I’m trying to train them than Boomers (in my personal experience as a trainer). Our hunger for constant entertainment has come at the cost of our attention and maybe even learning ability.

We’re hungry for entertainment.  People craved it during Biblical times, they wanted distraction from routine in Roman times, and even today (especially today) we want constant stimulation.  But as we saw, throughout the ages, this merriment comes with a cost.  Getting more hedonistic brings over-stimulation, excess, violence, lost self-control, and worse quality of life through overindulgence.

That’s why Valentine’s Day is even a thing at all.  It’s not necessarily the day or it’s meaning at all–we just want a celebration in that long span of time between New Years and Easter.  But like the above examples, the hunger for distraction gets perverted and out of hand.  Valentine’s Day might not look like animals fighting to the death (which is disgusting and horrific) and it might not be harshly punished by our creator, but it’s a comment of gender roles, sexism, patriarchy, and capitalism–all pretty gross and damaging in their own right when over-done.  Before you blindly seek that stimulation of a holiday, ask yourself if you want to support that or if you’re just looking for that mid-February pick me up.  If it’s the latter, get that boost in a more constructive way.

 

____________________________

Sources (and disclaimer):

 

1} I’m going to attempt to tell you a Bible story illustrating my point, but bear with me.  I tried to find the exact story online and in the Bible, but couldn’t.  So I’m going to retell it from memory.  Nevada forces all of their students to take “Western Traditions” courses.  It’s code for mostly Bible study with a day of the Koran in there so they can say it represents diverse religions.  At the time, I just took the course, no real thought.  But today I think-‘who the fuck sanctioned this? What a crock that Nevada college kids have to waste their money and time on something like that.’  It’s called indoctrination.  Anyway, so we had to read various passages of the Bible in class, for homework, and in order to write papers.  I actually enjoyed the stories, as they are action-packed and very dramatic.  A real old-school Days of Our Lives.  I took the class 13 years ago, so the details escape me. I am trying to stay as true to the story as possible, and any Biblical scholars out there–please chime in and tell me:  What Book this is in.  Who the main character is, because I’m not 100% sure, and what group of people we are dealing with…   The gist of the story is the same though, and speaks to my point.

 

2} The Coliseum

https://www.ancient.eu/article/635/roman-games-chariot-races–spectacle/

 

 

3}  https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/113/4/708.short

Results. Data were available for 1278 children at age 1 and 1345 children at age 3. Ten percent of children had attentional problems at age 7. In a logistic regression model, hours of television viewed per day at both ages 1 and 3 was associated with attentional problems at age 7 (1.09 [1.03–1.15] and 1.09 [1.02–1.16]), respectively.

Conclusions. Early television exposure is associated with attentional problems at age 7. Efforts to limit television viewing in early childhood may be warranted

Work Productivity #MeToo [Anti-Valentine’s #12]

I wish Valentine’s Day would always fall on a weekend, so I did not have to engage with it in any way.  When the holiday falls in the work/school week, there is no escaping it.  I will hear about what my boyfriend did or didn’t do for me, and I will see girls parading their items around to show everyone how loved, and how superior they are to other girls.

If I ignore the day, fuss about it being superficial, or say I don’t like it–someone will say/ask, “it’s because you’re single.”  Which is why I hate the day so much.  P.S. I’m not single–and *gasp I still hate the day.

Also, doing something at work to recognize the day, is at the very least a distraction.  It also gives opportunity for people to one-up each other either with the great gifts they got, or the ones they didn’t.  Aside from that, it opens a can of worms.  It makes it ok for people to give gestures or show affection.  Suddenly, susan from accounting is receiving a gift from creepy Dan in customer service.  She has to deal with this.  Unwelcome advances in the workplace are a whole big HR-ball-of-wax.  And Jennifer in the cubicle might take this once in a year opportunity to ask out James across the hall–which makes for awkward work boundary-setting.  On the other hand, if someone feels slighted by not getting the type of reaction or attention from a co-worker that they are hoping for, it can lead to larger issues. Shining a light on a blossoming romance between a manager and underling seems inappropriate as well.  And it even gives sketchy people the green light to do some grabbing, or sexual harrassing, maybe.

Some 44% of Americans say they have received unwanted sexual advances or verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature. About six-in-ten women (59%) say they have experienced this, while 27% of men say the same.

Having Valentines Day in the workplace just isn’t a good idea–it’s kind of a liability..  The workplace is not a dating agency, and shouldn’t be one.  Workplace romances can alter the dynamics between many employees, not just those involved in the romance.  These issues become bad for the individuals involved in these situations,  and in turn, bad for business.

Overall, 69% of women who say they have experienced sexual harassment say this happened in a professional or work setting

Overall, about six-in-ten men who say they have been sexually harassed (61%) say it happened in a professional or work setting

So I’d say it’s best for places of employment to let the day go by–just like Saint Patrick’s Day, which would be a drunken, sexual, brawl if sanctioned at work.  Valentines Day festivities at work create more problems then they are worth.  It could create jealously, initiate sexual harassment, and hurt work output.

Boom!  Another reason (the 14th in the series, I think) why Valentine’s Day is nonsense, and why Valentine’s Day is harmful.

 

*Green statistics taken from Pew Research Center Survey:

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2018/04/04/sexual-harassment-at-work-in-the-era-of-metoo/

Going Global [Anti-Valentine’s #10]

As you know, I hate that fake-a$$ holiday, and have been really good about writing an annual blog post about all that’s wrong with it. This is my eleventh? such post, I think!!!  Even when I’m terrible about writing anything else throughout the year. It’s important to me to get it done.

And yes, I am still a lazy writer (in my blog) and do not treat this as a college research paper. BUT given this era of opinion-pieces, unsubstantiated “alternate facts,” and plain ‘ol made-up nonsense, I’ve tried to at least indicate my sources. Is there a proper citation with bibliography-no! Can you tell I just didn’t pull the information and figures out of my a$$–I hope so.  Here we go my annual why Valentine’s Day is detrimental and shouldn’t be celebrated:

“The Models Go Green” — The models POSE FOR A photo shoot of the negative effects of smoking on AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL on The CW.
Pictured: Janet
(Cycle 9) (902)
Photo: Mike Rosenthal/The CW
©2007 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Fear sells products.

Just ask the beauty industry. First step-Put great emphasis on a women’s physical appearance. Socnond, Insinuate that’s WHO she is (beauty), Third, indicate that beauty is the only way she derives all her power. Finally, make her afraid she’s losing looks and beauty through aging. Sales of lotion and makeup boom!

Sex sells.

Look at any magazine, poster, or label. Nakedness abounds. People are more interested if there’s a hint of sexuality. True story.  Does there really even need to be persuasion here?  I hope not.  I will assume no, and move on.

Combine fear WITH sex and you have capitalist gold. Thus, Valentines Day.  And why a Catholic tragedy is even a current thing at all.

And with stock-markets demanding quarterly growth, more and more corporations are looking to foreign markets to increase sales. Advertising DOES have an impact on culture. Other countries do look to the United States, a world power. So it makes sense that America’s ad campaigns do dictate cultural change around the world.

One example of the negative influence of America’s capitalism, specifically the notion Valentine’s Day must culminate in sex, is Cambodia. The country is in Southeast Asia, near Thailand and Laos. Cambodia has a tumultuous history, with the Brits colonizing it for awhile, communists taking refuge there for a time, and Americans bombing it (just the commies though!  *sarcasm*  obviously) during Vietnam conflict. As a person with an American education, I’m not sure of the whole history, or what Cambodia’s politics are today (or honestly, anything about them), but I know the treatment of women there is not that awesome.

Cambodia is apparently dramatic about romance. They have a concept called “sansar,” which means something like, Valentine or true love, or the person I want to marry. And this Sansar notion is heavily associated with Valentine’s Day. The people Combining the Valentine’s Day money = love = sexual reward with Cambodia’s ingrained notions of gender has resulted in a phenomenon of under-aged sex. In Cambodia Valentine’s Day is their prom–the expectation is to have sex.

The ministry of education in Cambodia issued a statement Tuesday imploring teachers to impress upon their students that Valentine’s Day is not about losing one’s virginity. Chuon Naron says in the statement “Cambodian students take Valentine’s Day to mean ‘sweetheart day,’ and they buy flowers as a way to convince girls to give up their virginity.” An exacerbating factor,”Cambodians have no idea about sex and their sexual rights because the sexual health education curriculum remains unimplemented.” (1) Education Minister Hang.

The quantitative survey on Love and sexual relationships found that 12. 4 percent young people state that they will be able to have sex and 14.3 young people in a couple state that they will able to have sex with their sweethearts on the upcoming Valentine’s Day. (2) Valentine’s Day in Phnom Penh in 2009.

Even worse? It has been reported that this sex will happen whether or not every participant is ready, whether or not they’re in a trusting, committed relationship, whether or not permission is given. Yes, not only has American-economy-driven Valentine’s capitalistic hedonism caused the sexualiziation of a “holiday” it had contributed to rape culture.

According to United Nations research (*A) one in five Cambodian men admit to raping a woman at least once. Half of that number started before the age of 20. (4) And nearly two-thirds said they had raped their partner, or more explicitly, their songsar. The figure rose to 34 percent when asked if they had committed physical or sexual violence against a woman. (3) 2013.

Jesus.

Public health specialist, Tong Soprach, conducted a smaller study of this trend from 2009-2014. He interviewed 715 Cambodians, aged 15 to 24, and what he found was staggering. In 2009, roughly two-thirds of young males said they were willing to force their partners to have sex on Valentine’s Day. [What??!] That number dropped some by 2014, but was still alarmingly high: among 376 male respondents, about 47 percent. (4) Phnom Penh Post, 2009.

National Police spokesman, Lieutenant General Kirth Chantharith, agrees that education is key to putting a halt to this abuse. He pointed out that most of the youth don’t understand the concept of Valentine’s Day, adding that “a lot of boys want to use this day for sex and to exploit girls”. Just how culturally accepted it is to engage in non-consensual sex is illustrated by the fact that half of the women interviewed for the UN study believed they couldn’t refuse to have sex with their husband. Two years ago, according to Chantharith, the police noticed a significant increase in sexual violence and rape among the capital’s youth on Valentine’s Day. “There are many young men going to the guest houses late at night with a girl – sometimes a group of boys with a girl – and they commit sexual violence,” he said. “So when we see a girl alone at night, leaving a bar with a boy or a group, we intervene.” (5)  On the whole, though rape and sexual violence isn’t only endemic in the southeast Asian country, but is treated by many as the norm, meaning perpetrators largely go unpunished.

So there’s that. Thanks U.S. Capitalistic fake holiday.  Obviously, this is one of the more horrible consequences that stem from constructing a holiday about “love” but really about money.  I think as citizens of the United States, we can admit Valentines Day is contrived and exploited in order to sell products.  Fear of being alone and single are combined with terribly impractical idealized romantic images, which are not really a thing aside from February 14th.  As a leading country, we need to be careful what we support and how we portray ourselves.  Our country (like it or not) is a role model for other places.  And our capitalistic patriarchy combined with a worse-for-wear undeveloped countries norms has lead to disastrous effects on women.

 

Think twice about what you support.
_______________________________________
(A)

Click to access p4p-report.pdf

(1)
https://www.cambodiadaily.com/archives/on-valentines-day-a-deep-generational-divide-77963/

(2) PAGE 14

Click to access love_sexual_relationships_valentine_quan_study-14_eng.pdf

(3)
http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2015/02/11/cambodia-valentine-s-not-virginity-day.html?via=desktop&source=copyurl

4)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/02/12/the-country-where-valentines-day-is-the-most-dangerous-day-of-the-year/?utm_term=.e7eba904a65f

5)
https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/cambodia-valentines-day-rape-consent-phnom-pen

Wasatch Cleaning List

Or–how we spent Thanksgiving 2016.

 

—-BATHROOM:
_________________________
-trade bathrm light bulbs
-wash top of med cabinet
-wash mirrors
-wash shelves indie med cabinet
-wash window
-clean window ledge
-clean baseboards
-shower walls
-bottom of bathtub
-scratches in bathtub
-top of door jam
-top of door
-both sides door
-floor
-fill in pin holes

LAUNDRY RM:
______________________
-trade out light bulb
-top of door
-both sides of door
-laundry shelves
-base boards
-especially under laundry shelves on floor/walls
-clean drain
-clean floor
-fill in pin holes

BEDROOM:
_________________
-change out light
-clean light
-clean top of closet
-clean closet mirror
-clean closet shelf
-wipe closet walls
-clean closet floor
-clean window
-clean window shelf
-clean wall below window
-fill in pin holes
-clean baseboards
-clean floors
-clean window

KITCHEN:
_______________
-change out light
-clean fan blades
-clean top of cabinets
-clean inside cabinets
-clean both sides cabinet doors
-clean inside freezer
-wash fridge shelves
-wash walls inside fridge
-wash out fridge drawers
-wash shelves in fridge door
-wash bottom of fridge
-wash fridge/freezer handles
-wash top of fridge
-wash outside freezer/fridge
-wash side of fridge
-backspash
-soak over burners
-wipe top of stove
-wash stove door
-wash counters
-clean sinks
wash front of cabinets
-wash inside drawers
-wash outside drawers
-clean cupboard shelves
-wash both sides cubbord doors
-wash window
-clean window cill
-clean wall under window
-clean kitchen floor
-fill pin holes

LIVING ROOM:
_____________
-fill pin holes
-clean baseboards
-wash window
-clean window shelf
-clean wall under window
-clean living room floor

 

–>  And yes.  Against all odds we DID get our deposit back.  The entire thing!

Valentine’s: No More! [Anti-Valentine’s #9]

I have written about how I loathe V-Day many, many years in a row now.  And honestly, if I haven’t convinced you the contrived holiday is a terrible thing by now, I’m just not going to.  I have approached the problem from every angle I can think of.  And with all sincerity, I tried to find a fresh one this year.  Which is why I only started writing this post on the 11^th.  I just can’t think of new reasons not to participate.  So I’ll just reiterate points I’ve probably made before.  With an emphasis on non-participation.

 

YOU CAN’T ESCAPE IT.  As you know, my dear readers, I am not a fan of Valentine’s day—to say the least.  But it’s not the kind of “holiday” that can go ignored.  It’s thrown in your face.  Advertsements for chocolate, chocolate-covered strawberries, and jewlry are suddenly inescapable.  And I don’t even have television stations or listen to radio.  Still-pervasive.  Going into the stores—forget about it!  Pink and red are poking my eyes out.  Facebook—the zoos?? Have already started contests for couples.  And the resturants are gearing up for a big income night.  Even at work, they decorated the building with hearts—one with my name on it.  And you can’t say—don’t do that without looking like a total douche-bag.  I wish I could rip my heart off the door though!  Ugh, and the talk.  Everybody will talk about the big day.  The showing off about plans already starts.  Or the sad-sacks (because that’s the camp everyone else gets lumped into) whine about not having plans.

 

I didn’t know this before, but even the boys will take desperation dates in order to take advantage of lonely, stigmatized women.  They want the easy sex-opportunity:  Information courtesy of the boys at work. . .  And you can’t just say you don’t believe in the day, or try to ignore it, because you are then lumped into the bitter at being a sad-sack group.  Which isn’t right and it isn’t accurate.

 

It’s also awkward at work, because people suddenly ask you candidly about your relationship status.  For private people, people with complicated situations, or prople trying to have discretion (read—gays in Utah) this topic is frought with danger.  It’s rude not to answer.  It’s sketchy to be vaugue.  But sharing could yield judgment or consequences.  So there’s that. . .

 

Now let me try to find some sort of statistics of people that believe in or participate in Valentine’s day to see what everyone else feels.

Valentines Day Statistics

Statistic Verification

Source: Retail Advertising and Marketing Associatio, Valentine’s Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey

Research Date: January 24th, 2016

Valentine’s Day Statistics	Data
Average annual Valentine’s Day spending	$13,290,000,000
Number of Valentine’s Day cards exchanged annually	180 Million
Average number of roses produced for Valentine’s Day	198,000,000
Percent of Valentine’s Day cards bought by women	85 %
Percent of all flowers purchased by men	73 %
Percent of women who send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day	14 %
Amount the average consumer spends on Valentine’s Day	$116.21
Percent of consumers who celebrate Valentine’s Day	61.8 %
Percent of women who would end their relationship if they didn’t get something for Valentines day.	53 %
Average number of children conceived on Valentine’s day	11,000
Gifts Most Often Given on Valentines Day (Allowing for multiple gifts given)	Data
Candy	47.5 %
Flowers	34.3 %
Cards	52.1 %
Jewelry	17.3 %
Dining / Eating Out	34.6 %
Clothing	14.4 %
Gift Cards	12.6 %
Other Gifts	11.2 %

Valentine Related Business Statistics
Number of locations producing chocolate and cocoa products	1,233
Number of people employed by the these establishments	38,794
Revenue of domestically cut flowers	$403 Million
Number of florists nationwide	24,600
Number of people employed by florists	123,600
Number of jewelry stores in the U.S.	27,484
Annual revenue from jewelry stores	$2.2 Billion
Relationship Statistics
Ratio of single men in their 20’s to single women in their 20’s	1.2 to 1
Ratio of sinlgle men 65 or older to single women 65 or older	0.33 to 1
Number of dating service establishments nationwide	904
Average number of marriages annually	2.16 million

A Low Maintenance Post

I usually abbreviate maint, because I never end up spelling it correctly.  I guess I got lucky this time.  Here’s just a spur-of-the-moment, since I’ve been a terrible blogger as of late.  I have a lot of drafts, but they all require work, and IF I finish studying/papers/work/sleep I rarely have enough brainpower left.  Maybe until the end of the semester, I’ll just write new ones and leave it alone until I have more time/energy/brain cells to spare.

Some goings on:

-I got a request to tutor again.  Which is OK, but I hadn’t done the paperwork, b/c I didn’t know if I’d have business, so in order to get paid I had to jump through some hoops this week.  But now I’m all set up.  The tutoring didn’t go that well (I thought).  But I had a request to do it weekly (I declined b/c I think it would compromise my own studies), so my tuteee must have decided it was worthwhile.  I am helping, but less often.  The 1 thing I can say is organization, study habits, and just the will to buckle down and learn are very important.  That and help me help you.  Listen, heed. . .  it’s probably something we all do, but I’m going to remember it next time I need help–receive the help.

-I got that swim cap back.  100%, returned inside out (the messed up side), and no feedback.  So I hate that and now I feel I wasted all that time, effort, and stress.

-Our fridge “rains” inside–I have no idea why.  But something molded in there last week, and now this rain-water is mold-infused.  It’s disgusting and gets into any other food–especially breads or sauces.  I had to take the time to empty everything out, scrub it down, and add baking soda yesterday.  And today, my fruit tasted of. . .  Mold–ugh!

-I decided neuro is the problem with my schedule.  It makes Friday really suck, and I noticed that a lot when class was canceled last Friday.  Just 10 Fridays left!

-I was going to try to finagle some financial aid next semester.  If I stay in school, I get a large loan disbursement and my undergrad loans remain on forbearance (the ones that are, at least).  I was going to apply for graduation in the Spring to remain technically a student.  I thought of Auditing enough courses to get loans (so I didn’t have to worry about my GPA), or do my independent study.  The loans are wise to all of those tactics, and unless you are at least a part-time student WORKING FOR A DEGREE no loans, no ifs ands or buts.  So I guess I’m done, done in December.  I’ll take on extra hours of work, and I guess be finished transcribing.

-It was 54 degrees F at 11AM today.  It’s officially fall, as per the usual I feel WA cheated me out of summer.  It starts 7/5 and goes to September-ish, back-and fourth between 80 and 60 as most places do in fall.  But even the “summer” days are gray and cloudy.  Though the torrential rains are a myth.  If it rains at all, it’s brief and a sprinkle usually.  It’s just cloudy.  Often.  I can’t wait to move.  Cool is sad to leave the gray.

-I got an offer to house-sit, which had I been on my own, I would have immediately agreed to.  It’s over Christmas, but I hate all hyped things, and Christmas is one of the most hyped things of all.  So it’s not in my top five favorite holidays.  So I don’t care about pet-sitting during it.  And I’m not in school at that time.  Plus, having a larger kitchen to cook in, satellite TV, and beautiful views wouldn’t be the worst thing.  But Cool is resolute–she wants to spend Christmas Eve evening and night at our apartment, and Christmas morning here too.  For what, I don’t know, but no amount of prodding would change her mind.  She has decided somewhere along the line Christmas is her favorite holiday–I really have no idea why the change.  So I’m pretty sure saying no a 2nd time in a row will cut me out of the running to pet-sit.  I’ll miss it, because it was really good, easy money 😦

I guess that’s all for now–I need to rewrite my phonetic transcription tip-sheet so I can read it.

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Easter Female-Fertility Festivities

I like Easter.  I think I say this about every holiday when that holiday is near, but it’s one of my favorites.  It’s an important religious event, but I also like the Pagan meanings of the day–fertility.  It’s a day of spring, and new life, baby animals, egg hunts–just joy.  So I feel I can embrace both the Christian and the Feminist and the Pagan and Native American aspects of the day all at once.  I don’t have to chose or limit myself, and I like that.  So you know the typical traditional events of Easter, but here are some suggestions to appreciate nature and fertility:

-Go out for a walk and look for signs of spring: robins, nests being built, flowers buds, bulbs shoots, plants starting to green
-Buy a new broom for magical or mundane cleaning
-Do meditations focused on new beginnings or growth
-Make paper flowers and use them to decorate your home
-Have an egg hunt
-Learn about the migration of butterflies or the plight of the honey bee. Vow to take steps to help them on their way
-Have a seed blessing ritual
-Start seeds indoors or out
-Eat eggs for breakfast on Ostara morning and bury the rinsed shells in your garden to promote prosperity and abundance of your crops
-Try to incorporate at least one traditional correspondence into you daily life through the spring season: cook with seasonal foods, use traditionally colored cloth napkins, display a vase of wildflowers on your table, burn traditionally scented incense, etc.

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Women’s Day Blog Posts

Here is a list of posts that I was moved by today:

-http://femmegenius.com/2014/03/08/there-is-no-word-for-feminist-in-my-language/

-http://peaceloveetrees.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/international-womens-day/

-http://sanjuktamoorthy.com/2014/03/08/8-women-who-made-the-world-a-better-place-in-2014-reblog/

-http://aliteraturelife.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/girl-power/

-http://polkadotequality.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/happy-international-womens-day/

-http://samanthagray9.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/women-you-should-know/

-http://oliviahcarr.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/happy-international-womens-day/

-http://neonanomaly.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/best-female-characters-tv/

-http://vixenswithconvictions.com/2014/03/08/women-are-born-equal-but-everywhere-they-are-in-chains-adapted-from-rousseau/

-http://todayinhistoryblog.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/march-8th-1911-international-womens-day-launched/

-http://rosemina.com/2014/03/08/happy-international-womens-day/

-http://halcyonfields.net/2014/03/08/international-womens-day-whos-genuine/

-http://thefwordya.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/feminist-principles-gender-roles-harm-everyone/

And PS, right now I’m watching GI Jane which is very on-the-nose today, but I’m totally loving it, and totally infuriated/inspired by it.

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Broken Heart [Anti-Valentine #8]

This may be the only annual post I’ve completed every year since I began blogging.  THAT’S how important I feel it is to spread the message the Valentine’s Day is nothing positive.

2007:  https://kit10phish.wordpress.com/2010/01/17/my-opinion-of-valentines-day-posted-2-14-07/

2008:  https://kit10phish.wordpress.com/2010/01/17/where-is-the-love-posted-2-13-08/

2009:  https://kit10phish.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/valentines-dread/

2010:  https://kit10phish.wordpress.com/2011/02/10/nix-the-red-pink-and-save-some-green/

2011:  https://kit10phish.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/blood-diamonds-and-valentines-day/

2012:  https://kit10phish.wordpress.com/2010/02/06/valentines-day-part-4-gender-roles/

2013:  https://kit10phish.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/shove-it-down-your-throat/

It’s all hype and phoniness, and contrived to SELL merch.  This year, I’ll be focusing more in the feelings of inadequacy and loneliness the “holiday” can foster.  Sure, I’ve mentioned it before, but I never talked of adult and teen depression and the very real consequences of these emotions:  Divorce and suicide.

Valentine’s Day is a day of those who have it and those who don’t.  “It,” being commercialized, overt, expressions of love.  This is not to be confused with actual love, friendly-love, or compassion.  Those are all very real, and intangible feelings that can’t be bought or paraded around for the admiration and envy of others.  And though they’re different then the passionate type of love flaunted on Valentine’s Day, I’d argue they’re even more important.  And substantial.

For those who feel left out of the Valentine’s commotion, life can feel pretty empty.  And just try to get away from all the hearts, flowers, and gifts that day.  The advertising and parading is ubiquitous.  And teens are imprisoned at school, can’t find an escape.  People who are already having relationship woes find them exacerbated by the great expectations of February 14th.  A product of failed expectations can be a ruined family unit.  Teens with low self-esteem or who are still testing relationship waters and don’t have that ONE special person–can get down.

Also written by someone else, but very pertinent to MY point:

Some students left school with armloads of gifts, while many others sat empty-handed. Some girls sent flowers to each other, and I knew more than one who sent flowers to herself. I remember seeing girls cry in the restroom after their boyfriends failed to send them a gift, and I remember watching boys cruelly snicker as they watched an unpopular girl react with joy as she received a flower supposedly from one of their buddies, but which was really just a mean hoax.

Facts from other internet sources (take the validity as you will):

-Forty percent of people have negative feelings towards Valentine’s Day.

-A recent poll found that one in ten young adults admitted to feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, or unwanted on Valentine’s Day. And that’s just the ones that admitted it.

-divorce internet search/lawyers increase around this day

-Research suggests that 75 percent of suicide attempts are attributable to relationship problems.

-Last year, the Missouri Suicide Crisis hotline had extra staff on duty because they expected approximately 50 percent more calls on Valentine’s Day.

It breaks MY heart that our commercialistic society whole-heartedly endorses a holiday that’s so hurtful to so many people in order to sell a few teddy bears.  It’s hard to feel good about a holiday that leaves so many adults left feeling lonely and disappointed.  A day that leaves students feeling miserable about themselves, and drives them to take drastic measures.  

I like the idea of GALentines day or PALintines day a lot better.  I fine those all-inclusive and based on making everyone feel good.  Much better than just thrusting “love” in everybody else’s faces to feel superior and special.  And to the detriment of those that don’t.

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