Glitch
We were supposed to be just friends…/…Depending on what kind of mood and situation-ship I’m in/And what’s in my system/I think there’s been a glitch, oh, yeah…/…And I’m not even sorry/Nights are so starry, blood moonlit/It must be counterfeit…/…A brief interruption, a slight malfunction/I’d go back to wanting dudes who give nothing/I thought we had no chance/And that’s romance, let’s dance
All of this is total speculation on my part. Don’t come at me.
Who was the other relationship, and was it Taylor Swift?
Use of gender-neutral pronoun when she brings up “person” she had sex with prior to her marriage.
Very for “The Man” which seems apt if we’re talking about a one-sided (Kaylor)rebound relationship based on sex.
Girl’s trip. Girlfriends. Pure joy.
It sounds like Kelsea likes being around women a lot.
this version of myself.
Reminds me of Subject to Change which I think is discovering sapphic sexuality.
Secrets and crimes.
If you’re going down I’ll be going down too. It sounds like closeting to me. Are the secrets about her sexuality? Are the crimes cheating on her husband with a woman?
I’m awake.
Gay awakening
Not honoring yourself.
Kelsea wants to be true to herself, and her sexuality
You’re finding yourself.
You’re figuring your shit out.
It sounds like a lot of discovery that Kelsea is going through at age 29…
Oh God. Am I ready to date again?
Skirting the issue of dating.
I’ve never really dated, I don’t know how it works.
She got married at 22, but did she date as a teen? Maybe she doesn’t know how sapphic dating goes…
just put ourselves out there.
Let’s just vibe. It’s been fun.
Minimizing the new relationship in the interview.
Move on. Stay here? Be sad forever.
Could be a repression situation.
single? ha ha ha. Am I single? God…
There is a lot of panic about this seemingly simple question.
Maybe Kelsea doesn’t want to outright lie about dating a dude, but she also doesn’t want to come out if she’s dating a woman…
No
The interviewer makes an assumption and says a name.
Kelsea never says his name or brings him up. She just doesn’t correct the assumption.
A possible PR story:
Eden the Lounge:
Gay bars:
I’m just vibing.
Kelsea minimizes the new relationship again.
OK I want to see you.
What does that feel like though, to have that be so public?
It’s interesting a new relationship is being publicized so much. It’s like Kelsea’s team is pushing that story, but why? I’m not sure people love when a divorcee is already with another person quickly (I don’t make the rules). What is the reason a brand new relationship after a very recent divorce is being amplified? Maybe it’s covering up something else.
Also it’s new. Everything is new for me.
Again Kelsea talks about how new and novel this situation is.
Dating.
Being photographed with someone.
It’s also interesting how Kelsea’s pauses separate “dating” with “being photographed with someone”
It’s all really new and I’m tiptoeing.
She really emphasizes the newness, and says she’s being very careful. Why does she have to be careful dating a guy? Why does dating a guy feel so, so new to Kelsea? I mean, she dated Morgan, and married him. She knows what dating a guy is like.
I’m happy.
And I’m really, really learning a lot about myself.
More talk of uncovering things about herself.
It’s been like a really beautiful re-awakening.
Like waking from a 20 year dark night, perhaps?
How did you guys meet? I slid into those DMs.
This seems out of the blue to me.
My manager lives there and he like put the bug in my ear.
So HER MANAGER INITIATED the dating?!
He was like, you know this really cute
when you’re ready
it’s Chase
and I was like, you’re so right.
NOW I’ve seen the show.
Kelsea had not seen his show before writing to him…
but I just knew OF him.
I followed him and he followed me.
Purely online interaction that isn’t all that personal/romantic
we’re manifesting, baby
Basically we had been hanging out and people got a photo of us
Doesn’t sound very personal. They were in public together then a photo was published.
he was like, I mean, it’s going to keep going. So should I just like poke the bear.
He wanted to validate the rumor
and I was like sure.
Kelsea was also cool with the public knowing
the poking the bear was like a photo of me just like leaning in
Kelsea emphasizes the non-romantic nature of the photo
how long have you guys been together before that photo leaked
Another moment of hesitation and panic for Kelsea.
I mean, WE WEREN’T EVEN TOGETHER, like so relative, I know even really know…
Kelsea says they weren’t “together”
She also says she doesn’t know…
WE HAVE BEEN TALKING for since the beginning of December
It’s interesting that tour dates and promotion of the Heartfirst tour started in January.
I’m having fun. I’m having fun.
PARTNERSHIP
Idk if I believe in like the LEGALITY of it all
it should be a daily choice.
Yup, I’m implying Kelsea discovered she’s sapphic and left the marriage in part, to explore that side of herself.
I think Chase Stokes is a gay-buddy and bearding.
And I think Kelsea is dating a woman. IDK if it’s Fletcher, but they are sure playing up their thing.
Here’s another song in Kelsea’s catalog where I think she is talking about Taylor, and purposely inserting certain words, themes, and images to reference Taylor. You decide:
Legends
We were golden, we were fire, we were magic
Is Kelsea intentionally using key words from Taylor’s songs?
Taylor modifies how she sees love from passionate, burning red, to golden like daylight. She wants to step out of the woods into the warmth of daylight.
Deep blue, but you painted me golden
The fire is a spark, or a comforting light in the darkness. It’s both warming and dangerous (if not controlled). Taylor also sees fire in a negative light, as being outed, burning the room down. And fire turning to ashes is like a relationship that ends, enkindling both people.
It seems Kelsea is alluding to comforting and warming, as she Wedges “fire” between golden and magic.
Magic is Taylor’s realization of what attraction and love feel like (vs. comp-het). Magic is also the disappearing act her and her sapphic lover are able to pull off thanks to heteronormativity [best friends!].
Yeah and they all knew our names all over town
Taylor and Kelsea are both big names in Nashville.
They have both toured the world and topped the music charts.
Taylor’s description of Nashville:
To Taylor, Nashville has become limiting and artificial, entrapping her in a disingenuous image. Kelsea moved to Nashville as a teen because she had seen Taylor do it. Kelsea wanted to emulate Taylor’s career, and was excited to be in a place where it could happen. So many eager hopefuls travel to Nashville, seat of country music, to make it in the industry.
We had it made in the middle of the madness
A music star has a crazy schedule.
“Celebrity” could be a chaotic life.
Sapphic affairs might cause a stir.
Madness could be rebelling against social norms.
We were neon in a gray cloud
Taylor uses bright color to describe sapphic love (vs. the black and white of straight love):
Taylor is chronically sad and depressed (in part due to being closeted):
Both cheating and sapphic love put Taylor’s relationships in a gray area:
The clouds might signify Taylor pining for Karlie, or trying to get her back:
But Kelsea says they were colorful and gay in the midst of Taylor’s depression, in a confusing situation, and when Taylor’s head is still in the Kaylor clouds.
Yeah, we wrote our own story
They paved their own way because what other two (country) music stars are in a sapphic relationship?
They each literally wrote their story in their songs.
Full of blood sweat and heartbeats
Full of blood?
Is it talking about working toward careers: blood, sweat, and tears? But there were no tears, so the heartbeats are a reprieve from that? The heartbeats signal excitement and passion.
Or is it talking sexy time (pitter patter of the heart then getting sweaty) under a blood moon?
They might have had their affair during the month of a lunar eclipse.
Or the blood moon may signal an infrequent and intermittent affair (twice a year).
Additionally, it could be some October as the full moon that month is called Blood-Moon due to hunting season.
Can we use the moon to pin down the time frame the Taylor and Kelsea might have had a fling?
Months of blood moons:
Based on the Delicate cover and Taylor’s response to it:
and the towels pic:
I think their affair could have happened at least in 2018. March-May 2018 seems more than friends, possibly. Due to the on/off Kelsea’s discography alludes to it could have also been intermittent in years prior or after this too.
Counterfeit:
Taylor wants to resolve Kaylor, but she is anxiously waiting for things to align. While Taylor waits for the perfect timing with Karlie there’s a glitch and she gets with Kelsea.
Beating hearts/heartBEAT:
We didn’t do it for the fame or the glory
Kelsea is contrasting the very public Kaylor to KelSwift. Karlie and the models might have been hired as PR to eliminate the boy-crazy image Taylor hated. Taylor needed a best friend to take away mention of men. Karlie signed on to play the BFF to get more exposure and recognition to bolster her own career.
And Kaylor accidently fell in love.
But Kelsea and Taylor are not together for PR or careers. There was never money exchanged between the two.
They came together more organically.
But we went down in history
Yeah we were legends
That sounds a lot like a closeted sapphic relationship! There are rumors, but no pictures.
It also sounds a lot like the premise of the folklore album.
But notice Kelsea is talking in past tense.
Loving you baby it was Heaven
Another past tense line.
In Cruel Summer, Taylor describes her relationship with (I’m pretty sure) Karlie. The relationship is delicate and fragile for many reasons: Taylor feels conflicted because society taught her that sapphic love is sinful, and she brings up religious figures to show her concern. The relationship is also fickle because Kaylor started out friends with benefits, no strings attached, and Taylor and Karlie caught stronger feelings on antithetical timelines. Thirdly, the Kaylor relationship feels precarious because Karlie can’t commit fully–partially because she had a long-term boyfriend/beard.
During KelSwift, Taylor is still apprehensive about her sexuality, especially in a public forum. Now Taylor treats Kelsea like Karlie treated her at first. She doesn’t want to be serious, and is just looking for a fun fling. Kelsea, however, has strong feelings for Taylor, just like the strong feelings Taylor had/has for Karlie. Taylor has been on both sides of the equation between Kaylor (pining/wanting more) and KelSwift (distracted/non-committal).
What everyone wondered we’d never question/Close our eyes and took on the world together
This line is more strong evidence that this is a different (gay) type of relationship. Why would other people wonder about this couple? Why does the pair need to take on the world?
I think “take on the world” is also talking about their music careers. Kelsea and Taylor and both striving to get their music out to the world.
Do you remember?
We were crazy
Tragic and epic and so amazing
Interesting choice of words…
I’ll always wear the crown that you gave me
The crown. We talked about how Taylor has at least 3 songs that mention a crown specifically in the Homecoming Queen analysis.
Out of Kelsea, her husband, and Taylor who was the first to move to Nashville, and who got signed first?
Kelsea’s husband was signed after she had already been signed for a year.
We will always stay lost in forever
And they’ll remember
We were legends
Like we were written down in permanent marker
KelSwift leaves an indelible mark on Nashville and music. And the couple will always have good memories of their relationship. This line also might be a call back to an early Taylor Swift performance in Nashville:
Kelsea uses “permanent marker” possibly to contrast the word “paint” that Taylor often uses in her own songs. Paint can be RE-painted, or covered up easily. Permanent marker is more difficult to remove or modify.
Not even the brightest sun could ever fade
In Peace, Karlie tells Taylor she is sunshine/fire/friend, and would take away Taylor’s depression and die for her:
To Kelsea, sunshine is Karlie. She is saying even Karlie at her brightest, can’t take away the memories of KelSwift.
Come whichever hell or high water
Taylor thinks fiery hell would be getting outed in a gay relationship:
And the water is Taylor’s team putting out the fire with their damage control:
Kelsea is saying KelSwift could survive despite the closeting (for fear of fire/hell) and the PR damage control (water/flood) that also comes with bearding. Kelsea is also in the industry so she knows how important it is to be descreet. She even wrote a song about keeping secrets, If You Go Down (I’m Going Down Too). Kelsea is commenting that Taylor wouldn’t be outed with her. And Kelsea is saying she already knows the industry and the PR damage control doesn’t bother her.
It was always me and you either way
Hey we wrote our own story
Full of blood sweat and heartbeats
We didn’t do it for the fame or the glory
We just did it for you and me
And that’s why we were legends
I’m not the only one who noticed similarities between Kelsea and Taylor in this song. Unlike the hater that wrote the following article, I don’t think Kelsea is doing a cheap remake of Taylor’s work. I think Kelsea is intentionally referencing Taylor in order to furtively tell the audience who the subject of this song is–Taylor.
I know this song is probably about Kelsea, herself. But I found a lot of compelling call-backs to Taylor’s lyrics and life. I think lyrics can have a surface-level meaning, and a deeper, more hidden secondary interpretation. Given Kelsea’s lyrics and videos I also think Kelsea and Taylor were together in some capacity, so Kelsea might have written this song with Taylor in mind.
Hey homecoming queen
Before I get into my research I will tell a story about my high school’s homecoming queen:
My Senior year the school voted Stephanie (name changed to the most common female name in my school for privacy) as our Homecoming Queen. Stephanie had been on cheerleading all 4 years of high school, but she wasn’t the “typical” popular girl represented in movies. I hadn’t thought of her as the most popular girl in school either, though she hung out in the most popular group of girls in my high school. As a matter of fact when her and her sister moved to our small, rural town in seventh grade, everyone made fun of Stephanie (her sister was a grade below so I’m not sure what her experience had been). Stephanie was in my peripheral friend group in middle school and sat with us in English class. She seemed well-intentioned and considerate, but I never knew her very well, because she also seemed uncomfortable and shy. My small class had known each other since kindergarten so anyone new was an anomaly and outsider just because they had already missed so much. I’m sure she felt that. Also, the boys were dicks.
In high school everything changed for her. Stephanie was kind and unproblematic, so she was easy to like. We carpooled to cheerleading practice all summer, and our birthdays are only two days apart so we had that in common. She came to my sixteenth birthday party and was nice to everyone, but we were never the type of friends that told each other secrets or anything like that. I don’t think she got very close with too many people…
Though she was thin, she preferred to base stunts, showing her strength by lifting other girls high in the air. She was determined and practiced hard–she was not in cheerleading just to look cute or gain popularity-though she did both of those things too. Stephanie (and her sister) were the type of pretty that stood out in our year books. They were beautiful and probably could have even modeled if they had wanted to (and had the financial backing to do so). But Stephanie was not just gorgeous, at practice Stephanie was always strong and tough, and I think she had to be resilient outside of practice too. Stephanie’s parents were divorced but lived together for financial reasons. Once her dad came to cheerleading practice drunk and the vice principal had to tell him to leave. The sisters were devastated and embarrassed, but we never heard details or saw anything like that again. You would never know there were family issues or poverty or anything aside from that one small peek into their world. The sisters excelled at academics and participated in cheer, and were well-liked and never let on anything was wrong. Stephanie dated the star kicker on the football team long-term, and they both just seemed nice. I think she leaned on him for support and they were together a lot. Her mom asked him to buy her cigarettes because he was a bit older.
When Stephanie was crowned homecoming queen I was happy for her. I was glad a genuinely kindhearted person won the coveted title. And just to end this little story, based off of Facebook, I think her and her sister both have happy lives. Stephanie joined the Coast Guard (I told you she was gritty and fit!) for a bit and is now married and has at least one child. Her sister got married and looked very happy and may have children as well (IDK I deleted sketchy Facebook so now I don’t know anything about anybody anymore). To sum up, homecoming queens are pretty and popular, but I think they also have to be smart, involved in school, and personable. And they have problems just like the rest of us.
Taylor Swift was never a homecoming queen:
Taylor never got to experience many high school milestones because she was working on her career. Yet, Taylor’s career epitomizes what it is to be the homecoming queen. She is beautiful and popular. Also, Taylor’s celebrity is crafted on the every-girl image. She portrays herself as one of us, and has actually reached out to fans on a “personal” level. Taylor is smart and a role model. She told us in several songs about having the crown during her career.
Adjacent but related:
Part of me feels sorry that Taylor had to miss milestones that mark an (American) teenager’s life. The other part remembers her career has been so exciting, acclimatory, and lucrative that it’s difficult to quite see her as a tragic figure.
Anyway, I can see why Kelsea, an underclassman to Taylor in age and career, might see Taylor as emblematic of a homecoming queen.
Why do you lie/When somebody’s mean?
Common word or intentional call-back to Taylor’s song, Mean?
We know Taylor is afraid of criticism, and is fretful about her public image:
Taylor and Kelsea are 4 years apart in age.
For example in 2003, this legislation was passed:
Since Taylor was 14 years old, a teenager, this might have made an impact on her views of sexuality [socially unacceptable to be anything other than straight]. But Kelsea would have been in elementary school so this might not have even been on her radar. During Ellen DeGeneres’ coming out, and the backlash against her, Taylor would have been around 8 and Kelsea just a tot. Fred Phelps, of “God hates fags” died in 2014 when Taylor was around 24 years old and Kelsea was just getting signed as an artist. Kelsea wasn’t exposed to a lot of things Taylor saw and experienced just that short time earlier, which could explain the different mentalities about queerness. Kelsea sees coming out as something authentic and worth doing, while Taylor sees it as apocalyptic.
Kelsea asks Taylor why do you lie when somebody’s mean, and I think she’s talking about this exact situation. Why do you closet when someone questions your sexuality?
Where do you hide?
Taylor has been indoctrinated by parents, career authorities, and society to hide her sexuality. Tolerate It talks about feeling othered.
This man (her father? The studio execs?) covered up Taylor’s rough edges [barbed wire]. They hid the “bad” [queer] parts of her to make her more acceptable for public consumption.
I wonder if the clues she didn’t see might be Taylor thinking about the gaslighting in Tolerate it— ‘it’s all in your head.’ Taylor shows she has internalized these men’s attitudes somewhat. She wonders if maybe she is interested in boys and just didn’t realize it or notice the signs. She says the narrative would be prettier if there was an invisible string tying her to a fated male soulmate.
Cuttin’ me open could be a cold assessment of Taylor’s attributes and flaws. The mistakes are PR blunders, the demons are her desires to touch women. After these men in authority scrutinize her they “heal” her. But the result isn’t good or great, it’s just fine. The corrections they made to Taylor’s image were OK, fair, tolerable to Taylor the individual…
The men in authority assessed her, saw queerness and deemed it undesirable, and “corrected” it by pushing her into relationships with men [Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve and You’re on Your own now Kid?]. These beards covered up Taylor’s sexuality, but with sharp barbed wire, and bulky chains. It’s not comfortable for her as an individual to wear. And this respectable, passable narrative of being in relationships with guys, tied her to (Joe?)
Do people assume/You’re always alright?/Been so good at smiling/Most of your life/Look damn good in the dress/Zipping up the mess/Dancing with your best foot forward
Taylor hides her pain behind a smile and pretty dress. Her audience does not notice there is deception. The veneer wears on Taylor and she fakes it til she makes it until she can no longer distinguish what is forced upon her and what is her choice. The lines between what her team portrays about her as a brand, and who Taylor the person are get blurry. She’s faked it so long, that she’s made it, and it’s (her brand image) true(?).
This is another statement showing Taylor hides her authenticity to give the people what they want. They don’t notice something is amiss.
Does it get hard/To have to play the part?/Nobody’s feeling sorry for ya
Taylor tells her audience it’s a balancing act that she’s constantly attending to, and it’s not her natural state. But she would do anything, try everything, to keep her fans looking at her.
But what if I told you the world wouldn’t end/If you started showing what’s under your skin/What if you let ’em all in on the lie?/Even the homecoming queen cries
To Kelsea coming out doesn’t seem like a catastrophe. She suggests sharing inner struggles to show everybody has issues. But as Exile says, Taylor is reluctant to come out of the closet (directly):
Hey homecoming queen/How’s things at home?/Still walking on eggshells
I think this is a technique to talk about her own childhood house, her own father, and her own life with plausible deniability. Taylor can distance herself from these statements of an angry father causing her to cry and hide her sexuality by portraying that it’s a friend’s life. Taylor learns at an early age that her dad finds her sexuality problematic so she has to keep that portion of herself hidden.
This person is someone older, who causes Taylor to regress back to a child. The person is/was gone a lot, and she waits for them to return. She says the person is wise, and she seems to trust their take on things. Tolerate it tells us that Taylor’s dad thinks her queerness is a phase or that she’s mistaken. She says she accepts him despite his indiscretions (cheating on her mom?) yet he just tolerates her love.
Because Taylor has been coerced to hide her sexuality from a young age she leads a lonely adult life. Her Dad and the authority figures from the studio taught her their love for her is not unconditional (contrasted to her mom in Sweet Nothing). Their love and acceptance hinges on her success and profitability. They think this sapphic stuff is all in her head and she’s got it wrong so if they just throw her together with a guy so her career (and their money) won’t get blown up. Taylor knows her sexuality is innate, but has to walk on eggshells to appease these men. So she closets and beards to assuage them, until she fakes it til she makes it and it’s true. Now she closets and beards because she’s afraid not to.
When that curtain’s closed
Taylor has been indoctrinated that she can only love in private. When drama ramps up and Taylor feels comforted by another woman, she has to go inside and close the windows to love out of sight.
Again, Taylor’s parents and the studio executives taught her to keep “undesirable” things private, behind closed doors. Even though Taylor is heartbroken and hurting she is still inside with boarded up windows getting drunk alone. She has to depend on her lover to come back to her, instead of chasing the lover outside where others could see. Taylor has to have a lover that agrees to remain invisible.
Did your daddy teach you/How to act tough?
Taylor learned two things from this episode: Her father could be a ruthless defender of her career and money. And if you cross her father or are no longer useful to him, he’ll wrap you in chains and throw you away.
Even as a teen, Taylor knows to hide her sadness and weak emotions. She models her conflict resolution after her dad’s example– aggression.
Or more like your mama?/Sweep it under the rug
Taylor’s mom gave her a really good day. But her solution to Taylor being bullied was taking her shopping until she forgot their names. Andrea sweeps the central issue under the rug and distracts Taylor from her problems, instead of facing them head on.
Look damn good in the dress/Zipping up the mess/Dancing with your best foot forward
Taylor combined the coping strategies of both her parents: Stuff down sad emotions and get revenge (her dad’s influence) and look pretty and go dancing to distract yourself (her mom’s way).
Did you want the crown/Or does it weigh you down
When Taylor was young, she was excited to finally realize her dreams. She got off the sidelines and went to center stage, showing off her crown to the whole town.
During Reputation era, Taylor realized how difficult the crown was to hold on to. One mistake and it was taken away. She learned people are fickle and it’s difficult to have staying power in the cut-throat entertainment industry.
Taylor also figured out the crown was only given to one person, and that person needed to represent perfection. And she talks about the homophobes with their signs, knowing that her sexuality, if revealed, could get her crown taken away.
Nobody’s feeling sorry for ya
The media used You’re not Sorry against Taylor. They turned a break-up song into a woman always playing victim narrative. [Sidenote- I am only talking about song lyrics here, not any other quotes or actions in Taylor’s wider life]. If a man wrote this would it be weaponized against him?
The big names on this list tell us that men are not held to the same lyrical standards. Men can play the victim to cunning, or gold-digging women, be openly misogynistic, and it’s written off. It’s just one song. Boys will be boys. But women are scrutinized and judged more.
What if I told you the world wouldn’t end/If you started showing what’s under your skin?/What if you let ’em all in on the lie?/Even the homecoming queen cries
Kelsea tries to convey that times have changed, and coming out is no longer career ending. But Taylor knows love is conditional. She has been programmed to hide anything negative in order to preserve her fame.
The Archer substantiates that Taylor has struggled with her sexuality long-term, and she closets to cope. “The room is on fire, invisible smoke” is talking about that struggle. The fire is the worst outcome–It’s getting burned by coming out or worse, being outed.
The kiss in a crowded room was an important, life-changing event. But it’s not the only event where Taylor was nearly or partially outed (a fire) and she panicked and shut it down to salvage her image and career. Taylor spirals into the anxious thought that her sexuality will accelerate her losing everyone and everything
Yeah, what if I told you the sky wouldn’t fall?/If you lost your composure, said to hell with it all
Kelsea thinks Taylor’s fears are a bit dramatic. She articulates the ridiculousness of the notion that the world would fall apart if Taylor was truthful in public. Kelsea believes it would be relatable for Taylor to show her more authentic self. But Taylor isn’t just embellishing her fears to convey a more dramatic story. She actually has deep-rooted panic about what would happen if she was publicly sapphic.
Not everything pretty sparkles and shines
It’s a call back to Our Song, one of Taylor’s first songs. Kelsea is also pointing out their different perspectives. Kelsea says some pretty things aren’t sparkly, shiny, and flawless. There is beauty in the imperfection. Taylor was reared on idealized love fairytales and purity. She knows to hide undesirable things away.
And even the homecoming queen cries/Oh yeah/Even the homecoming queen cries/Hey homecoming queen/Why do you lie?
Taylor lies and then cries because she has internalized the lessons from her parents and the (country) music industry. Renegade broaches the subject of Taylor’s internal homophobia. She fires off arrows and missiles because she hates her inherent queerness. Taylor’s attitudes damage herself and those in close proximity to her. The lover that sings this song says Taylor has come a long way, but gets weak and reverts to the negative thinking and closeting whenever she faces a perceived threat. The lover questions if Taylor’s extreme reluctance to open the blinds (come out) is due to anxiety or if she just doesn’t actually want a life with this person? Something is stopping Taylor from giving her lover the family she craves, and Taylor’s baggage is negatively impacting the lover’s mindset too. This girlfriend has no place carved out in Taylor’s life, but persists despite the invisibility. She begs Taylor to get her shit together so she can love her. But Taylor only squeezes the lover’s hand when the lover is about to leave.
When somebody’s mean/Where do you hide?
And to finish off the song I give you the most obvious tie-in from Kelsea’s “where do you hide” choice of wording to I Know Places, a song about the panic of being outed. Taylor’s instinct is not to come out, but to take her girlfriend and hide from curious onlookers and intrusive questions.
We finished the end of Dancing with our Hands Tied! Parts A-T if you missed it. Do you agree that Taylor is agonizing over an event that almost outed her? And she is regretful that she choose the closet over her lover? With that foundation, let’s look at Question…:
Here’s the lyrics as written so you can get a sense of the story Taylor is telling:
Can I ask you a question?
Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room
And every single one of your friends was
Making fun of you
But fifteen seconds later they were clapping too?
Then what did you do?
Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?
Did you wish you put up more of a fight?
When she said it was too much?
Do you wish you could still touch …her?
It’s just a question
Now I’ll try to analyze them line by line, using what we learned from Dancing with our Hands Tied plus the consensus of word meanings gleaned from other songs in the catalog:
Can I ask you a question?
To me, it seems like both Dancing with our Hands Tied and Question… Are less about one event or person, and more about Taylor’s overall mentality and what that leads to. Taylor is acknowledging that her gay-panic and straight-washing sucks. BUT this song (we’re back at Question…) is a justification of her actions.
She is asking the listener (her ex-girlfriends, fans, critics, etc…) to empathize with her very specific situation. In these lyrics, Taylor is calling for us to stand in her shoes (on your tiptoes) and see why she does these seemingly callous things repeatedly. Question… is a song about Taylor’s phobia of being unabashedly queer and her habitual dread of being outed.
As I said, I think this applies to every one of Taylor’s sapphic relationships. For ease of writing and for specificity, I’ll use the muse I’m most familiar with, the most recent known girlfriend, Karlie.
Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room
The first question Taylor asks (exes, fans, critics) is did you ever find yourself in a situation where you were doing a controversial action in front of everybody?
Not sticking up for your (sapphic) love out of fear of social rejection is a common theme in so many of Taylor’s songs because it’s the primary problem in Taylor’s real life (Question… [Part 14]). Her actions and inactions cause her partner to be relegated to the back of the closet. And all the hiding and secrets and lies hurts their love. Which is why in Betty, Taylor wants to rectify the situation by publicly kissing Betty/this woman she loves (Question… [Part 17]).
And every single one of your friends was
Making fun of you
Taylor adds details to her first question. She wants to know if you’ve done something controversial AND if everyone was disdainful towards you about it?
Taylor wants us to know that, yes, she acted ugly as a result of each of these public events that revealed her true nature. Cruel Summer shows Taylor’s hidden feelings:
Cruel Summer
She hated all the secrets. She snuck around for love despite the dangerous consequences. And it made her sad that her love wasn’t celebrated. But she had to. Because everyone was judging her harshly, ready to out her to the world.
But fifteen seconds later they were clapping too?
Then what did you do?
Taylor wants to know what the listener would have done when the rules changed. She says, turns out, you adjusted in order to tame the controversy, but society evolved. Instead of jeering this formerly controversial pairing, the majority were cheering. But what if you (her ex, the fans, any critics) were still locked in cages of maintaining your status quo? How would you handle the situation then?
She asks the listeners what they would do in that very specific situation. Knowing it’s impossible to handle smoothly, Taylor then implies that nobody can judge her harshly for her reactions and behavior. She says anyone would act just as cagey under her circumstances.
The specific event of Kissgate hurt Kaylor because Taylor defaulted to brand damage control instead of just coming out. Taylor, the individual, long ago lost her autonomy to Taylor Swift, the brand. All the anxiety about negative societal reactions kills the sapphic partnership. And when time passes and the general public is more accepting of queerness, Taylor was already locked into her marketed image. She has to remain super-straight, or her fans will know she lied a lot of times. They will feel betrayed by their friend. The half moon eyes in Question… are the combination of these anxieties constantly tugging Taylor and any sapphic lover apart.
Taylor talks to a few different subjects in the next lines. Taylor is asking herself these questions. She’s asking her girlfriend if any of these outcomes would have changed if either of them had taken different actions. And she asks the listener to empathize.
Did you leave your secret love in the middle of the night? In that situation, do you think you could put up more of a fight? And what about if your girlfriend was also anxious about it? Would you press her to continue? Taylor is saying she had all bad choices here, and anyone would have finished with the same bad outcome as she did.
Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?
According to her catalog, it’s Taylor who blew things out of proportion, and it was Taylor who burned the relationship down. It’s Taylor who pushes Karlie (any girlfriend applies) to run, and to take the last train. It’s Taylor who jumps off the train and rides off alone.
Did you wish you put up more of a fight?
Taylor is asking this question to herself and her exes. She’s also showing her listeners how difficult it was to even do the little pushing back she did. She was marketed not only as boy-crazy, but as everyone’s personal friend, so the news would cause a stir.
The Taylor Swift brand is huge. There is a lot of money and power behind it. Look at one example of a business move that conveys the incredible power of TSTM:
Taylor (as face of the brand) had spoken and a Fortune 500 company immediately complied. In this damage-control situation, after trying and faltering against all that brand-leverage, Taylor asks how would YOU proceed?
Coming out as any kind of gay would cause backlash, and the employees of TSTM might be subjected to hardship. There is strong motivation to put out fires on behalf of the brand. Their damage control is quick and decisive. The water of them putting out this fire became a flood that engulfed and overwhelmed everything. In Clean, Taylor said she screamed so loud when all this water filled her lungs. This damage control negatively impacts her despite being the face of the brand.
Remembering how the butterflies crumble to dust and Taylor is unhappy and alone in the closet, she had momentary bravery and pushed back against her team’s damage control. Part of Taylor wants to choose authentic love, and the woman. So she started fighting for her (real) relationship, arguing with her team about downplaying the event that outed her. She protested against going back into the closet, and tried to stop the torrent, “…but no one heard a thing.”
Nobody on Taylor’s team listened to Taylor [remember her crying at the table in Miss Americana?] and she submitted, “Hung my head as I lost the war.” The war is Taylor’s conflict with her sexuality (this is bigger than her team). She momentarily wanted to come out, but TSTM executives thought it would be bad for the brand. It was just enough friction to trigger the conflict within herself. As much as Taylor wants to come out and be free to love her soulmate, her fears of losing everything are stronger. “So I punched a hole in the roof, Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you.” Taylor’s fear took over in the end. Clearing the air, she breathed in the smoke, and helped with the cover-up at the expense of her sapphic love.
When she said it was too much?
Here Taylor is telling the listener that the split wasn’t just one-sided. The partner felt exhausted by the complications and couldn’t deal with it anymore.
She is asking the listeners/critics what you would do if you lived through this complicated event, and had to deal with the pressure of a whole brand.
Furthermore, what if the girl you were trying to fight for had a lot of doubts? The girlfriend wasn’t sure that she even wanted to go through more just to make things work–what would you have done? Taylor is making it evident that she (as individual vs. brand) didn’t have a lot of pull in the matter. And even if she did, her girlfriend was beaten down by the experience and ready to leave.
Again, the music belies Taylor’s internal struggle. In Death by a Thousand cuts, Taylor tells how heartbroken she was with the final result:
Do you wish you could still touch …her?
Taylor’s last question shows that she wishes it wasn’t this way. She still covets the touch of her lover. Despite her impossible situation, and inability to rectify it in a satisfying way (for all parties involved) Taylor says she truly loved the girl.
Taylor’s most important relationships couldn’t overcome so many stumbling blocks despite both loving each other (Question… [Part 10]). There is internal homophobia, career pressures, political considerations, bearding complications, on and on. How many struggles can one relationship survive?
When Taylor’s default action is covering up her queerness, it causes her to suppress her secret relationship as well. Karlie politely lived with being stifled, her love tamped down (Question… [Part 10]). But eventually left the smothering deprivation of the closet. Karlie “married” the guy or more suitably–commissioned her new heteronormative life (Question… [Part 9]).
The break-up kills Taylor. And Karlie is dead to Taylor now that she has a child and a (diabolical) husband. Both Taylor and Karlie (this could apply to any and all of Taylor’s sapphic lovers) are dead inside, cold lifeless hands reaching out grieving for the living (“do you wish you could still touch her?”). Yet, Taylor still prioritizes building a legacy despite repeatedly losing the lover because of it (Question… [Part 11]). It’s a pattern she’s repeated over and over.
It’s just a question
This is a cheeky ending where Taylor feels like the listener agreed with her logic. She wanted us to know the details of her situation so we could see how she couldn’t do things any other way. And now that we’ve seen her side of things, she knows we’re on the same page as her. She was entombed in a lot of ways and that justified her behavior. It’s the same as Dancing with our Hands Tied: Taylor is broken because her sapphic relationship ended. She’s regretful and wished things would have been different. But she reminds herself, her ex, and her audience in the song how her unique circumstances are to blame. And she ends both songs saying I regret this, but… Taylor has rationalized all her choices which have led to these disheartening outcomes.
Taylor will remain shrouded in the lavender haze because she has more challenging circumstances than many. But she’s still going to be sad, and share her feelings about it in song.
I decided to not do a huge long write up and just let the work speak for itself. I think Kelsea is purposefully referencing Taylor’s work. Not to get clout, but because they had some kind of fling. My best guess based on Kelsea’s lyrics is sometime between 2017 and 2020. And it was an off and on situation.
Met him at a party, accidentally brushed his body
This is the only male pronoun in the song.
The rest is you, we, and baby.
On the way to get a drink at the bar
I couldn’t wait ’til later, talking in the elevator
Then we’re kissing in the back of the car
We know that Taylor often sings about two people: He and YOU. You, being a woman she’s secretly dating.
Is Kelsea doing the same thing here?
That voice in my head says to slow down
But it can’t see the way you’re looking at me right now
It may not be next week, what I need
Then again, maybe it might be
Could be forever or we might break
That’s just the kind of risk that we take
My head is yelling that I could get hurt
But I’m gonna jump right in
Baby, with my heart first
I gotta have ya, gotta see if this works
I gotta have ya, wake up in your t-shirt
Kelsea’s shirt says “He was sunshine I was Midnight rain”
and I don’t know if she just woke up, but the eye mask seems like a first thing in the day type of thing…
Who knows what’ll happen, ain’t that always kinda magic
When you don’t know who’s holding the cards
Could be a wish I never knew ya or permanently tattoo ya
Kelsea has at least 3 tattoos: One with lyrics from Amazing Grace the first song she learned and her first solo.
The second is taken from a letter from her parents after her first single came out with “love” in each of their hand writing.
The 3rd is for the song Square Pegs:
Only the moon knows what’s in the stars (what’s in the stars)
Mm, that voice in my head says to slow down
But it can’t feel your hands on my hips right now
It may not be next year, what I need
Then again, maybe it might be
Could be forever or we might break
That’s just the kind of risk that we take
My head is yelling that I could get hurt
But I’m gonna jump right in
Baby, with my heart first
I gotta have ya, gotta see if this works
(I gotta have ya)
I gotta have ya, wake up in your t-shirt
I gotta have ya, diving in heart first
(Heart first)
I gotta have ya
Ooh, I gotta have ya
Taylor’s song 22 ends with that phrase repeated twice.
And also include
And I can’t even stop myself anymore
(Ooh, I gotta have ya)
Oh, we couldn’t end the perfect night outside my front door
Could be forever or we might break
That’s just the kind of risk that we take
My head is yelling that I could get hurt
But I’m gonna jump right in
Baby, with my heart first
I gotta have ya, gotta see if this works
(I gotta have ya)
I gotta have ya, wake up in your t-shirt
(Wake up in your t-shirt, yeah)
Pairing the 22 lyrics with wake up in your shirt ties it to Taylor Swift.
I gotta have ya, diving in heart first
(Diving in heart first)
I gotta have ya
Yeah, I gotta have ya
She ends the song the exact same way Tayor ended 22!
Maybe that’s not strong enough to convince you.
But look at Kelsea’s music video.
The commonalities with Taylor’s imagery seems intentional.
Heartfirst Video
Sunglasses and earrings:
Traveling downward in a rainbow sky:
Clouds and rainbow in the sky:
Pastel tie dye shirt:
Sparkle eye:
I mean, Kelsea can’t do a full heart, that would be really obvious.
Groom knocked over:
Sitting on the ground in a desert with a big cat:
Tulle, layered, blue dress:
(these tulle and layered and blue dresses are all worn in the Me! video)
Sneakers under dress:
Falling from clouds:
Rainbow on buildings:
Are you convinced? Because I am!
Logistical Info:
Remember we’re looking at words in the lyrics of Question… to try to decipher who and what and when.
We’ve almost gone through the entire song, pulling lyrics containing the same words to get a sort of consensus or feeling about Taylor’s intention.
Now that we’re toward the end of Question… lyrics, we need to address the central part of the song: Kiss in a crowded room. And the kiss really brings to mind Dancing with our Hands Tied and maybe Kissgate.
We will analyze Dancing with our Hands Tied to see if it parallels Question….
Except this particular line within Dancing with our Hands Tied got a bit long because I really don’t know for sure and there was no solid direction to take the analysis. I will go into it in detail in this post so the guesses don’t overwhelm the analysis of the song as a whole.
And I’ll spell out my conclusions from this post in the full analysis of Dancing with our Hands Tied. But that post was getting very long and I was afraid nobody would read it. So to make things even more confusing each line in DWOHT is going to be its OWN post. But then I’ll do a main DWOHT post with just links to each different post. It’s a whole big thing.
Then we’ll get back to the end of Question…
Was that explanation as confusing as trying to guess who Taylor’s songs are about?
I, I loved you in secret
In public, Taylor and her lover are magicians and illusionists, hiding their truth in plain sight. And when they are alone there is sex and bliss (Question… [Part 9]). Secret moments in a crowd convey the closeted aspect of the relationship. These two are in plain sight, but protected in a magical cloak of friendship thanks to heteronormativity (Question… [Part 4]). Taylor says this couple are starting on a fresh page and writing as they go in Cornelia Street (Question… [Part 16]). There is no precedent for this new type of relationship. Even without a gameplan, this love is making Taylor drunk with happiness and a type of enthrallment she’s never felt before. It’s stronger than anything they order at the bar.
But Taylor’s back is against the wall. In order to maintain Taylor’s public image–these lovers have to walk on breaking branches to keep their true love a secret. Each of them must beard and tell the rich people what they want to hear. Still, neither person can let go of this love–Taylor especially is a hostage to her feelings (Question… [Part 9]).
I know you aren’t going to believe me. Taylor and Kelsea at least had a dalliance, if not full-on dated. Here is the link to my 2020 albums ranking:
I provide it because it’s date/time stamped to Dec 2020.
In it, I said I can hear Taylor Swift on several albums that year. All for people who are known associates of hers. All uncredited. Here’s the blurb from that post:
OK, I Know Halsey featured on The Other Girl, track 4 of Kelsea’s self-titled album from 2020.
Ashley…is Halsey, P.S. I hadn’t known that but was looking for possible pseudonyms.
Don’t take my word for it. Listen for yourself. A good place to compare and hear that there are 3, not 2, distinct voices is:
0.55-1.00 is Kelsea alone
1.04-1.12 is most definitely Taylor Swift according to my ears
1:26-1:30 is Halsey by herself
Kelsea Ballerini – the other girl (with Halsey) [Official Audio]
Now, I tried to compare the studio version of the song to the live CMT duet, but alas, they were lip syncing (not bashing, just stating facts) so it’s the exact same song.
The part that I heard Taylor on has lyrics:
Taylor says she’s a scarlet letter (fraught with adultery, witchy stigma vibes) in Love Story:
Original lyric said “This love is DIFFERENT, but it’s real. Different like gay. Because what straight, white love pairing is so off-putting to parents and society?
Then, in New Romantics Taylor introduces herself again using scarlet letter:
In this context scarlet letters is some trait that’s stigmatized by society. And she says this group of misfits she is hanging out with in NYC has different scarlet (aka stigmatized) letters. How about LGBTQQAA perhaps? And she says, hers trumps all of them. In the song she goes on to describe:
To this group love = danger. P.S. there is nothing dangerous about a wealthy, white lady dating a wealthy white man… To emphasize her point Taylor talks about switching sides. That’s bisexual. Or they “switched” from hetero to homo. To drive home that she’s talking about gay love and being a part of the marginalized gay community, Taylor talks about the terrible, cruel rumors, which just like in Betty (another song with gay undertones) are true. Every day these LGBT folk are battling for rights and visibility and equality but every night they’re alone with their lover, peaceful and happy.
That’s all to say it’s very interesting that those are the lines I hear Taylor on in Kelsea’s song. Like it goes with what Taylor has been telling us in other songs.
Back to The Other Girl video/song:
At 1:44 Taylor says, “I, eye?!” WTF, now eye theory
2:08 is a repeat of Taylor singing the red dress part, but it’s a lot harder to distinguish her voice from this point on in the song, because I don’t think she sings alone. There may or may not be a “girl” she sings by herself, but I couldn’t tell for sure…
So Taylor sang uncredited on an album with friends, big deal, you say.
HERE’S WHY THIS MATTERS:
On Kelsea’s 2020 album she talks about falling out with someone on her track 4. And everybody assumed it was about the credited feature, Halsey. But we have no story, no blind, no evidence of what happened between Kelsea and Halsey, if anything. I think Kelsea is talking about Taylor!
DOIN’ MY BEST
[Verse 1]
2020 was a weird year
Album dropped at a weird time
Ain’t the homecoming queen but better believe I cried
When you get married that young, you got a lotta shit you gotta get through
Kelsea got divorced.
…[Verse 2]
Wish I could take it back, I would’ve nevеr asked
If I knew we wouldn’t talk anymorе
…[Bridge]
I live in my head ’til the sun’s up
Even I can admit that it’s fucked up
And you’re pushing for perfect your whole life
And it didn’t work out
But, damn it, I tried
The bridge just might have a double meaning. On the one hand Kelsea is talking about releasing her self-titled album that she worked really hard on, during a time promo couldn’t be done, so maybe it did worse then she hoped/anticipated.
A 2nd meaning could be that Kelsea is overthinking. The sun (Karlie) is out, centered in Taylor’s life. Kaylor is on-again. Kelsea says Taylor using her (Kelsea) as a back-up gal when Kaylor is off is fucked up. In this context the “you’re” shifts to Taylor possibly. She’s the one with the perfect image she’s trying to maintain. And that keeps her closeted. And being in a closeted relationship sucks for both Karlie (Kaylor on) and Kelsea (Kaylor off). But damn it, Kelsea tried to have a proper relationship with Taylor.
You saw my disclaimer on the other 3-4 posts that yes, this post is Taylor-centric because I’m trying to find connections. The thing that started this was Kelsea’s lyric: DAISES ON THE DASHBOARD?! For what reason? It’s not a common expression, or something that happens. That is a purposeful, direct connection to Kaylor. So here we are, seeing ANY possible others… But I like Kelsea as an artist in her own right, I’m not saying she’s copying Taylor, or that Taylor wrote her songs or anything disrespectful. I’m just trying to call out possible intentional connections that Kelsea placed across her new album.
If this is confirmation bias–it’s sure strong. And it speaks to how Taylor’s writing has the ability to capture universal, relatable feelings in all sorts of situations. So many lyrics of Taylor’s encapsulate just what an individual is feeling or going through. If this song is not intentionally referencing Taylor’s work–then Kelsea needs to give Taylor a call, because Tay could really be an understanding shoulder to cry on. She gets what Kelsea is going through–says her lyrics.
Each one of these lyrical parallels would be considered a “reach” by the mean-Gaylors and the hetlors. And it’s true, after seeing the daises line, I was really looking deep, and trying to pull out any, little thing that connected to Taylor. So some of these just might be stretching it. This write-up may delve into fan-fiction territory, but take from it what you like, and leave what feels too “reachy” (to use a word I’m tired of). But when there’s TEN “reaches” in one song is it confirmation bias or a preponderance of evidence? Time will tell. Midnights out October 21, 2022.
I guess they call it falling ’cause you end up on the ground/You can’t live forever with your head up in the clouds
I mean, Taylor Swift [Lover] OUT now?!
As we discussed before Kelsea might be talking about the beginning of the Lover era where Taylor was actively trying to get Karlie back (the literal signs, the mural, etc, etc…). A lot of cloud imagery was used for Lover promo so Kelsea uses the word “clouds” to describe this more complex situation. See Kelsea’s song Weather in another post.
Think it’s written in the stars ’til they burn out
I am waiting to see if Taylor talks about stars in her new album–it’s a pet theory of mine with no evidence yet. I have seen stars (and the moon) mentioned across this album of Kelsea’s. And it makes sense to me for Taylor to move on from Karlie (the sun) to Kelsea the stars and/or moon.
…I was like, “Oh my God”, every thought played like a video
I thought the quotations and video was an odd turn of phrase, so I looked up Taylor’s lyrics where she says, “Oh my God” and found:
A song about the media and public having this perception of Taylor. She is tongue in cheek here, playing into that (false) perception. The subtext/secret meaning of the song is about bearding.
Shake It Off is a song about ignoring haters and living your best life.
That song also addresses the media and public’s perception of Taylor:
The third song where Taylor uses, “Oh my God” talks about the perception that Taylor is a serial dater who just writes songs about her exes:
All three of these songs talk about the (false) perception in the general public that Taylor is boy-crazy. And the narrative pushed by the media that Taylor just writes songs about her exes. The were really big music videos for Taylor as well.
I think in this line Kelsea is saying when her and Taylor were first having romantic sparks, she was incredulous. Kelsea might have been surprised because the media portrays Taylor as a man-eater, and Taylor’s public persona leans into dating and writing songs about men. So Kelsea might have been shocked to have a romantic connection with Taylor. She might also have been a bit star-struck to have something serious with someone of Taylor’s caliber of fame, since Kelsea had seen Taylor in her music videos before meeting her in person.
Left your shirt, and the hurt, now I curse your Acqua di Gio
Taylor’s Tis the Damn Season mentions perfume:
It’s about how Taylor goes back to her hometown (Nashville, where Kelsea also lives) to visit her parents and has an on again off again fling when she’s home. Both people are OK with this situationship. Taylor talks about how when she’s home that relationship and life (road not taken) seems good, but she left that geographic location. But it still is part of her and stays with her.
In Illicit Affairs Taylor talks about sleeping with someone who is committed to somebody else (Karlie is officially with Jo$h). They have to lie and sneak around to see each other. But living in secret gets real old, and the high of their encounters feels less and less good as time goes on because of the million lies.
The perfume is used as a “tell” of the encounter. Perfume can be used to cover up the scent of the side-chick so her smell is not noticed by the boyfriend. Karlie might put on the perfume Jo$h bought her (or perfume she picked out because Jo$h liked the smell) to cover up Taylor’s smell on her. It could go the other way too: Perfume cannot be worn during the encounters because it would leave scent-evidence that the person was there. If Jo$h could smell Taylor’s perfume on their bed there would be questions.
Kelsea curses the perfume because the scent left behind makes her think of Taylor. And also the perfume represents secrets and hiding an affair, so it makes Kelsea think of the Kaylor bearding triangle.
That night you told me I hung your moon (I hung your moon)
If Midnights has moons and stars, I will not shut up about it!!!
I jumped right in with no parachute (No parachute, oh, oh)/…Did you only get me high to let me down?
Taylor uses “high” in two of her more WLW songs:
Call it What You Want is a definite Karlie song (Call it what you want, Karlie what you want). Taylor tells Karlie that she can call what they have going on whatever she wants. Karlie is nervous about it. Karlie doesn’t want to be a cheater. But Taylor just wants to keep what they have going alive, even if it needs to be secret and unofficial. It doesn’t have to be lesbian-love, call it anything that makes you more comfortable. It speaks to the on-again off-again nature of Kaylor also. With Karlie being nervous about breaking her commitment to Jo$h as one reason for the encounters to be fleeting and secretive, on and off.
Kelsea using “high” in opposition to down could reference an on and off Taylor relationship. And when Kelsea thinks of Taylor’s songs pleading with Karlie to be with her, that’s what gets Kelsea down. Whenever Kaylor is “on” that means Taylor is emotionally unavailable and physically gone from Kelsea. Kaylor and KelSwift and similar relationships. One person is on, then off, here than gone.
Another song where Taylor uses the word “high” is Don’t Blame Me. In the song Taylor compares WLW love to a drug. She says it’s bad for her and her brand and her image, but also she can’t stay away. “My drug is my baby.”
Kelsea feels like her love with Taylor gets her high also. When Taylor comes around and loves Kelsea, it’s like a drug. It’s that same drug Taylor speaks about in her song, the WLW love, and Kelsea can’t leave it alone even though there’s a let down when Taylor/the WLW love leaves again.
I guess they call it falling ’cause you end up on your face/Sleeping by myself in a bed I didn’t make
If Taylor and Karlie were on and off, it’s possible Taylor got with Kelsea during the Kaylor “off” periods. And it wasn’t Kelsea’s choice to be alone during the Kaylor “on” periods. Taylor’s song, Willow describes Taylor sneaking in to see Karlie even though she’s committed to Jo$h (bearding contract or bisexual love, we don’t know).
Willow talks about sneaking around to be with your secret WLW lover despite commitments to men and secrecy to preserve public images. The partner is mythical, because they are gone a lot, mostly a dream not reality. Describing a lover as a trophy or champion ring could speak to Taylor and Jo$h fighting over Karlie. In their fighting, they’re treating her as an object without autonomy to make her own choices. “Prize I’d cheat to win” probably has the double meaning of cheating in a relationship, and also cheating/lying to the public to hide the true nature of the relationship. “I’m begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans, that’s my man” is one partner asking the other to commit fully to them. Wreck the bearding plans (for one or both Taylor/J0e and Karlie/Jo$h). In an interview, when asked about Jo$h, Karlie repeatedly referred to him as “my man” which came off as awkward. So Taylor may have written Willow with that in mind, to convey Karlie’s commitment to Jo$h as a stumbling block to be “home” (a committed relationship with each other).
Sleeping in a bed I didn’t make, is Kelsea saying that her relationship with Taylor, got her dragged into all this Kaylor drama. She didn’t create the Kaylor bearding triangle, but she has to live with the consequences of it too. Kelsea is left alone when Taylor is literally going back to Karlie, or emotionally still hung up on Kaylor.
… I should’ve known, should’ve known, should’ve known, should’ve known (I should’ve known, known)
I thought Kelsea’s repetition of this phrase was pointed, but didn’t know why. I looked up the phrase in Taylor’s lyrics to check if Kelsea was insinuating a connection.
It’s funny that the lyric ties to White Horse a song about someone holding out hope that this other person will come around. Ultimately Taylor realizes this person is going to let her down because she is being starry-eyed and dreamy about love, not realistic.
So that sentiment goes right along with Kelsea falling for an person who is back and fourth, in and out of her life. There are highs when they’re together, but it comes at the cost of loneliness and feeling bad when Taylor physically leaves for Karlie (in earlier years), or emotionally checks out for missing the Kaylor relationship (in more current times).
… Then the wind, blowing in, threw me right off of my pedestal
Red is a song also about highs and lows of a passionate love that ends suddenly. It seems connected to the theme of this song as well.
The word, “wind” again conjures, Willow which describes secret meetings and fooling the media/public with the bait and switch. It’s a lover that comes and goes in secret, same as in Kelsea’s song.
In the second half of Kelsea’s phrase she says threw me off my pedestal. “Pedestal” is a very loaded word in GayLore. It conjures Dianna, one of Taylor’s early girlfriends. It’s also a common phrase when digging into Gaylor (Taylor’s LGBT subtext and secretive relationships) to say “going down the rabbit hole” which was Dianna’s heading on Tumblr (I think?).
Taylor doesn’t have a copyright on the word, but if Kelsea were trying to reference Gaylor things, that would be a good way to do it. In Long Story Short, Taylor describes being at the top, then falling down (kinda like this song) then clinging to the nearest lips. . .
…[Bridge]/I should’ve known gravity was gonna pull/You and me, down, down, down
In one of Taylor’s gayest songs, she uses “gravity” to describe the pull she has to a dangerous partner/type of love. And Taylor says that other person (Dianna?) is quicksand. Meaning not stable, fickle, here and gone. Sort of like this song is saying Taylor is in and out, bringing Kelsea love to make her high, then leaving and making Kelsea fall to the ground, sad and lonely.
But I know now/I should’ve known gravity was gonna pull/You and me, down, down, down
A second song of Taylor’s uses “gravity” to describe her inability to stay away from this lover/love that’s bad for her brand. Dancing with Our Hands Tied aka the Kissgate song, is another of Taylor’s gayest songs. So it’s funny that this song talking about a love interest that is fickle and leaving all the time, talks about that love interest feeling scared about homophobia. Taylor, loves Karlie, but doesn’t want to get caught as WLW and lose her career success. So she runs away and hides, despite love. And Kelsea is acknowledging that not only Kaylor takes Taylor away from their relationship, but Taylor’s skittishness about being out(ed) is a barrier to her being emotionally/romantically available.
But I know now/…[Outro]/(I guess they call it fallin’, ah-ah, ah)/I guess they call it fallin’/(I guess they call it fallin’, ah-ah, ah)
Finally, one of Taylor’s songs that uses “falling” perfectly encapsulates the meaning of this song.
Taylor tells Dianna to stay with her instead of leaving all the time. Taylor fell in love, but it’s not happy, it’s cruel because Dianna is worlds away. Now the shoe is on the other foot and Taylor is worlds away while Kelsea is sad when she’s gone.
If you were only gonna let me go/Ah-ah, ah, ah-ah
OK this is going to be all about Taylor because I’m trying to convey the connections I noticed. And maybe some of it is a “reach” as the more mean-girl Gaylors and the homophobes accuse anything that’s outside the well-established narrative. I heard many things, that alone, didn’t mean much, but compiled all together made me think, hmmmmm. So this is me looking at Kelsea’s work through a frame of trying to find proof she is into women and also that her and Taylor had a fling/are together/are WLW besties–something is there! But please know that I like Kelsea Ballerini as an artist, on her own terms. For more Kelsea-centric content, see my album review from 12/8/20:
And my Top 12 songs from 1/6/17:
Now on to the clues in Kelsea’s new album!
THE LITTLE THINGS
Save your money on the roses, baby/Just leave a daisy on the dashboard…
The first few lines are Kelsea rejecting romantic gestures like roses and idealized prince on a white horse rescuing a’la heteronormative tropes. Kelsea is saying she’s OK with breaking all the straight-dating-rituals and norms for this relationship.
Also, these lines tie directly to Taylor, and pretty blatantly. On first listen to the album, these were the lines that clued me into the fact Kelsea might like women–and specifically, Taylor.
At one point Taylor was using so much rose imagery that fans speculated her next album might be called Roses.
At another point, fans speculated that Kelsea’s new track, ROSES was a collaboration with Taylor:
Interesting…
Remember Taylor’s song Gold Rush? This product is called Rose Blush:
Walk past, quick brush/I don’t like slow motion double vision in rose blush
Here are other examples of roses/gardens in Taylor’s work:
Here’s some more interesting rose/flower/garden incidents in Kaylor:
Taylor is twinning with Karlie’s cover from 5/21/18 when she collects are folklore Grammy on 3/15/21.
And again here Taylor is undeniably twinning with Karlie’s 9/13/21 Met dress for her I Know You Think About Me video announcement/promo on 11/14/21:
And daisies. Let’s not forget how important daisies are in the story of Kaylor.
The Big Sur road trip was epic in the start of Taylor and Karlie’s love story. With many lyrics referencing it, the daisy on the DASHBOARD, daisy tag on Karlie’s social media, and the same daisy in Taylor’s liner notes–it’s one of the biggest proofs for Kaylor.
In other words those 2 lines of Kelsea’s song are telling her new romance to leave Karlie behind and stop with all the roses/daisies/gardens to focus on the little things with her.
Don’t gotta ride in on a white horse
That is a literal title of one of Taylor’s first hit songs. And that song also fits the theme of this song about rejecting heteronormative indoctrination:
Kelsea is saying she doesn’t want a Prince Charming on the white horse to rescue her. She wants a non-stereotypical love that means more to her because of little things rather than grand gestures of Disney movies and rom-coms.
When you’re younger they say it’s a kiss in the rain
Again, I’m not saying Taylor has a copyright on “rain” the word, imagery, metaphor, symbolism–it’s pretty common in writing. But there is a preponderance of rain songs, especially kissing in rain songs in Taylor’s work, so if you were trying to reference her this might be a subtle way to do it:
Throwing rocks at a window
Taken alone, this line is just a common writing theme. As the fourth very close association to Taylor things in one song, in a row–it seems intentional on Kelsea’s part that she wants the listener to be reminded of Swift. The next line of Kelsea’s song could also be a reference to another early Taylor Swift song, Ours:
And Ours just happens to have one of the same messages contained within Kelsea’s track 1: Subject to Change. That society may judge LGBT love, but the happiness of the individual must be prioritized so the relationship is pursued even so.
But it’s when we’re in a crowded room, put your hand on my back
This line reminds me of the themes in at least 3 Taylor Swift songs: Ours that we just talked about. Taylor’s line,
They’ll judge it like they know about me and you/And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
When people see a same sex couple, they’re not sure if they’re just friends, or if the two people are in a relationship, especially straight people! Heteronormativity works hard. When Taylor says they know about me and you, she’s saying people are speculating that she and the person she’s talking about in the song are not just friends, but gay together. Furthermore, those gossiping people disapprove and stigmatize anything that is not straight. So Kelsea’s line makes me think of a covert couple in a public space. They can appear as friends to safely avoid further scrutiny or judgment. Because when it’s a woman’s hand on another gal’s back, heteronormativity says they’re just friends!
The second song of Taylor’s that this line makes me think about is, I Know Places:
Pretty much that whole song is an expansion of the line we talked about in Ours. Same theme. “Friends” out in a public space, and someone inside that secret relationship daringly depends on heteronormativity to make their gesture of love to appear as just friendly. It’s both daring and safe for a female couple to touch out in front of the public. People usually chalk it up to friendship. But there are the gossips that want to call it out as WLW and disparage it. So for the couple there is always that fear of being exposed. And in Taylor’s case, she says she hides the relationship away from prying eyes so they can love safely.
The third of Taylor’s songs that Kelsea’s line reminds me of is, So It Goes…
I think Kelsea is talking about the same phenomenon Taylor speaks of with “magician” and “illusionist” in public spaces. When this couple is out on the town, they appear straight. Maybe they’re flirting with guys, or “dating” a guy. They can do small coupley things that the naysayers will interpret as female friendship, but this couple is on high alert not to get caught. But Taylor’s song is saying when they’re alone, it’s “wear you like a necklace” time.
And waiting on me in the morning with my coffee black…
It’s wine and vinyl, my head on your shoulder…
Reminder, I know Taylor doesn’t have the only references to drinking in any song. But also, if you were talking about Taylor Swift, it might be apt to mention alcohol. Taylor’s discography has at least 11 lines that talk about wine, not counting all the champagne/beer/whiskey/cocktails/drunk references. And it wouldn’t be surprising that two artists might hang out listening to vinyls, signing vinyls, or otherwise listening to music and doing merch.
Used to think it would be a backseat sex scene/Drawing hearts on the window…
A clear callback to the song, Heartfirst where she met a man at a party and went to the car with him. But the line here says, USED to think. So Kelsea has changed her mind about what love is to her. Which she clearly tells us on the first track.
Just pull me in and kiss me slow/Ooh, it ain’t just for show (it ain’t just for show)
And this line reminds me of Taylor’s Peace:
Peace describes half of the couple being blue and depressed. The other person says they will be there for them, warm their heart, die for them. But only privately. Outsiders think the love is PR or just friends, but they don’t know the real story. Their love is a hidden secret and it’s true and deep, but also the person asks is this secret relationship going to be enough for you?
(Ah) let’s not go big, let’s just go home
I know, I know the concept of “home” is not owned by Taylor. But also lyrics of Taylor’s that contain the word…
–home {also in Exile and Peace and Tears Ricochet}
~[Cornelia Street from Lover = “leading us home” “I took the long way home“]
~[Cruel Summer from Lover = “…I cried like a baby coming home from the bar”]
~[Delicate from Reputation = “do the girls back home touch you like I do?”]
~[Gorgeous from Reputation = “guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats”]
~[I Think He Knows from Lover = “I’ll make myself at home“]
~[Lover from Lover = “take me out and take me home (forever and ever)”]
~[Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince from Lover = “I think you should come back home“]
~[New Year’s Day from Reputation = “or if you strike out and you’re crawling home“]
~[Paper Rings from Lover = “went home and tried to stalk you on the internet”]
~[Style from 1989 = “takes me home” “just take me home“]
So here, Kelsea is offering to be the one to take Taylor home. She’ll provide peace and stability, just the little things.
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Catty Remarks