I might do a part 2, as I found another very interesting source. Will alll the new songs coming out (heh) we’ll see what I do.
Bigger than the Whole Sky
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye/You were bigger than the whole sky/You were more than just a short time/And I’ve got a lot to pine about/I’ve got a lot to live without/I’m never gonna meet/What could’ve been, would’ve been/What should’ve been you/What could’ve been, would’ve been you…/…Every single thing to come has turned into ashes/’Cause it’s all over, it’s not meant to be/So I’ll say words I don’t believe
Grieving giving up her opportunity to come out, missing the (queer) person she might have been.
***Trigger Warning***
conversion therapy
Though this is very bleak, we’re going to end on a lighter, more hopeful note:
We were supposed to be just friends…/…Depending on what kind of mood and situation-ship I’m in/And what’s in my system/I think there’s been a glitch, oh, yeah…/…And I’m not even sorry/Nights are so starry, blood moonlit/It must be counterfeit…/…A brief interruption, a slight malfunction/I’d go back to wanting dudes who give nothing/I thought we had no chance/And that’s romance, let’s dance
My knuckles were bruised like violets/Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked/Spineless in my tomb of silence/Tore your banners down, took the battle underground/And maybe it was ego swinging/Maybe it was her/Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur/All that bloodshed, crimson clover…/…You drew up some good faith treaties/I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone/You said I have to trust more freely/But diesel is desire, you were playin’ with fire/And maybe it’s the past that’s talkin’/Screamin’ from the crypt/Tellin’ me to punish you for things you never did/So I justified it/All that bloodshed, crimson clover/Uh-huh, the bombs were close and/My hand was the one you reached for/All throughout the Great War/Always remember/Uh-huh, the burning embers/I vowed not to fight anymore/If we survived the Great War/It turned into something bigger/Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I’d been betrayed/Your finger on my hair pin triggers/Soldier down on that icy ground/Looked up at me with honor and truth/Broken and blue, so I called off the troops/That was the night I nearly lost you/I really thought I lost you/We can plant a memory garden/Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair/There’s no morning glory, it was war, it wasn’t fair/And we will never go back/To that bloodshed, crimson clover/Uh-huh, the worst was over…/…Always remember/Uh-huh, we’re burned for better/I vowed I would always be yours/’Cause we survived the Great War
…I wanted that pain…/…All of me changed like midnight/My town was a wasteland/Full of cages, full of fences/Pageant queens and big pretenders/But for some, it was paradise/My boy was a montage/A slow-motion, love potion…/…I broke his heart ’cause he was nice…/…It came like a postcard/Picture perfect, shiny family/Holiday, peppermint candy/But for him it’s every day/So I peered through a window/A deep portal, time travel/All the love we unravel/And the life I gave away…/…I guess sometimes we all get/Just what we wanted, just what we wanted…/…I guess sometimes we all get/Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted/And I never think of him/Except on midnights like this (midnights like this)
Big city, wrong choices/We had one thing going on/I swear that it was something/’Cause I don’t remember who I was before you/Painted all my nights/A color I’ve searched for since/But one thing after another/Lost in situations, circumstances/Miscommunications…/…Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?/Did you wish you’d put up more of a fight?/When she said it was too much?/Do you wish you could still touch …her?/Half-moon eyes, bad surprise/Did you realize, out of time/She was on your mind/With some dickhead guy/That you saw that night/But you were on something/It was one drink after another/Caught in politics and gender-roles/And you’re not sure and I don’t know/Got swept away in the gray/I just may like to have a conversation…/…Does it feel like everything’s just like second-best after that/Meteor strike?/And what’s that, that I heard, that you’re still with her/That’s nice, I’m sure that’s what’s suitable/And right
PS- don’t do drugs, they fuck you up and ruin lives
Snow on the Beach
…Life is emotionally abusive…/…I’m unglued, thanks to you/And it’s like snow at the beach/Weird but fuckin’ beautiful/Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful/You wanting me tonight feels impossible/But it’s comin’ down, no sound, it’s all around/Like snow on the beach…/…My smile is like I won a contest/And to hide that would be so dishonest/And it’s fine to fake it ’til you make it/’Til you do, ’til it’s true…/…I (I) can’t (can’t) speak afraid to jinx it/I (I) don’t (don’t) even dare to wish it/But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet…/…Can this be a real thing? Can it?/…Are we falling like snow at the beach? (Snow at the beach)/Weird but fuckin’ beautiful/Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful (flying in a dream)/You wanting me tonight feels impossible (you wanting me)/But it’s comin’ down, no sound, it’s all around/Like snow on the beach (snow on the beach)/Like snow on the beach (flying in a dream)/Like snow on the beach (you wanting me)/Like snow, oh/But it’s comin’ down, no sound, it’s all around/Like snow on the beach (it’s comin’ down, it’s comin’ down)
***Trigger Warning***
Drugs
This is not pro-drug, just historic and informational snips pertinent to the song references.
–Continue reading if interested in drug characteristics–
Potential drugs referenced in the song:
[also, please visit the link, as it as alternate names, formats of the drug, side effects, long term effects, and current laws. It’s really chock-full of useful information and has an index to easily look up drugs of interest.]
…And the touch of a hand lit the fuse/Of a chain reaction of countermoves/To assess the equation of you/Checkmate, I couldn’t lose/What if I told you none of it was accidental/And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me?/I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork/The dominoes cascaded in a line/What if I told you I’m a mastermind?/And now you’re mine/It was all by design/’Cause I’m a mastermind…/…Strategy sets the scene for the tale/I’m the wind in our free-flowing sails/And the liquor in our cocktails/What if I told you none of it was accidental/And the first night that you saw me, I knew I wanted your body?/…So I’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since/To make them love me and make it seem effortless/This this the first time I’ve felt the need to confess/And I swear/I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian ’cause I care
I don’t really care for the following paper’s confusion about control vs. status. Or their lazy conclusion justifying a weak result with autistic TRAITS vs. a diagnosis. But there is a lot of interesting information about hormones here:
…’Cause karma is my boyfriend…/…Sweet like honey, karma is a cat/Purring in my lap ’cause it loves me/Flexing like a goddamn acrobat/Me and karma vibe like that…/…Sweet like justice, karma is a queen
Dear reader/If it feels like a trap, you’re already in one…/…Get out your map, pick somewhere and just run…/…Burn all the files, desert all your past lives/And if you don’t recognize yourself/That means you did it right/Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart…/…(You should find another)/…Bend when you can, snap when you have to…/…You don’t have to answer, just ’cause they asked you…/…The greatest of luxuries is your secrets…/…So I wander through these nights/I prefer hiding in plain sight/My fourth drink in my hand/These desperate prayers of a cursed man/Spilling out to you for free/But darling, darling, please/You wouldn’t take my word for it/If you knew who was talking/If you knew where I was walking/To a house, not a home, all alone ’cause nobody’s there/Where I pace in my pen and/My friends found friends who care/No one sees when you lose/When you’re playing solitaire/You should find another guiding light/Guiding light/But I shine so bright…/…You should find another/Guiding light/But I shine so bright/You should find another
House seems to be a physical place where someone lives.
But Taylor also uses “house” as the embodiment of a person and their sensibilities.
The house in Seven (is Taylor, I think, but could be the childhood friend) is haunted (gay? conflicted? imperfect?)
being haunted/gay makes the homophobic father mad.
Enter hiding in the closet-a lifelong defense mechanism.
passing by your house can mean both riding on a skateboard past someone’s home, and James passing by Betty, the person.
Taylor is in a conservative city. Country music is “traditional” and constrictive. Taylor has religious imagery in some songs so her family might abide by the Bible, and that makes her feel conflicted about her sexuality. She does not see her queerness as positive, she deems it a curse or jinx–she’s haunted.
There’s nothing to figure out with a boy. That’s “normal”, accepted, expected. It’s not difficult to figure out if a boy likes you that way.
But if the love interest is a girl–is she friendly or flirty? When Taylor can’t breathe in this gal’s absence, she knows it’s love.
Taylor discovers she loves a girl–she’s haunted. She knows she’s gay.
When Taylor dares to act on this haunted part of her, there are real fears the husband will harm his wife (Taylor’s lover) and her. She has to be very, very sneaky about hiding the gay-affair, or He will burn their house of love down.
House = place of residence, including body or sensibility
Haunted = LGBTQ (in an internally homophobic person, or a person in a homophobic environment)
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Catty Remarks