Tag Archives: lyrics

Question… Kaylor-Politics Fear, Fire, & Smoke. Many Songs are Tied Together [Part 16]

14 Dec

Taylor wins the pronoun game.  I’m not even going to try to untangle the speaker/recipient/changing characters in this song. Ok maybe just a little in this section. It was written so convoluted that I haven’t even seen a satisfactory answer to this yet.  Instead, I took lyric snippets from other songs featuring the same word, to get a feeling about Taylor’s sentiment and even subject. Don’t get overwhelmed with the length of this post.  The word I’m trying to point-out from Question… lyrics is highlighted. 

In Question… the next verse has a change in Taylor’s tone of voice.  It sounds almost sarcastic when she sings:

And what’s that, that I heard, that you’re still with her?

You’re still with her.  Who is Taylor talking to?  And who is HER?  This is a main reason why I wasn’t going to play the pronoun game with this particular song.  I think Taylor wrote it in a way that couldn’t be decoded.  She didn’t call and tell me.

Is the “you’re” Taylor is talking to, Karlie?  If so, it implies Karlie is with (dating?) HER.  And I don’t know who that could be.  It doesn’t seem plausible that Karlie would “marry” Jo$h, have a baby with him, leaving Taylor in the process. All to just get a different secret girlfriend?  I mean, IF Karlie wanted a WLW affair, Taylor has made it more than clear that her door is still open to Kaylor.

Is the “you’re” Taylor speaking to Jo$h?  I don’t think it can be, because immediately preceding this line the lyric is, “Does it feel like everything is just like second best after that meteor strike?”  In the last entry we showed through other celestial lyrics that the meteor strike is this otherworldly, untouchable love.  And Jo$h was not involved other than as an antagonist, threatening to burn the house down. What would be second best to him?  Taylor is referring to Klo$$ner(?!) AS the thing that’s second best to Kaylor.

The YOU’RE must be Karlie because the meteor is definitely Kaylor.  But I really don’t think Karlie is with another woman (HER).  So even though it seems random and out of context, I do think Taylor is using Hillary Clinton’s unofficial slogan to make fun or mock Karlie’s feeble “I tried” tweet, hence the sarcastic singing voice in this verse.

That’s nice, I’m sure that’s what’s suitable

And Taylor does mention “fuckin’ politics and gender roles” in the verse right before this one, so it could make sense for the song to allude to Karlie’s political hypocrisy.  [Sidenote: “counterfeit” and “faithless” are both synonyms of “hypocritical” and Taylor uses those in other songs, which could be talking about this very matter.]

And right, but tonight

There aren’t common lyrics in the song I’m about to reference, but I do think there is a connection. The political talk and the word “tonight” reminds me of Daylight. 

Daylight

Is it Karlie that “ran with the wolves” (the Ku$hners, her neighbor and sister in-law Ivanka, by extension the Trumps) adjacent and complicit to republican evil?  It’s also interesting that Question… could be addressing the subject matter of Daylight because it goes with our overall thesis that Taylor’s central problem is closeting.  

Daylight came out [ha!  Accidental pun] in 2019, the year Taylor turned 30 years old.  Twenty years prior to that it was 1999 and Taylor was around 9.  In Seven Taylor says, “picture me….before I learned civility, I used to scream ferociously any time I wanted.”  At 7 years old Taylor acted viscerally, shouting her truth and paying no attention to anybody else’s expectations, or to social rules.  But as she aged she learned manners/tact/compliance…  She was molded to be socially acceptable, and in this patriarchal, heteronormative world, that means being a (straight) young lady (with feminine qualities).  It corresponds to the next year of age entering into a dark night, sleeping on her queerness for the sake of etiquette.  The stuffing down her innate sexuality, denying her attraction to women, and closeting when she couldn’t repress herself.

In 2016 Taylor “became the butt of the joke” when her reputation was ruined.  She met Karlie and fell deeply in love, which helped Taylor see past the drama-induced pain.  The enthrallment also reminded Taylor of her innate queerness.  During the lover era, Taylor may have planned to come out.  Precisely because Kaylor prompted Taylor to wake up from the dark sleep of hiding her sexuality (maybe even from herself).  Taylor was so happy about being in love and seeing daylight that she wanted to share her feelings with the world.  But the master’s situation foiled that plan at the last minute.

Afterglow might be alluded to in the next line of Daylight, “I wounded the good [Karlie?] and trusted the wicked.”  Afterglow explains that Taylor thought she had reason to attack.  She pinned Karlie’s hands behind her back, and made her feel helpless, hopeless, ambuscaded.  But it turns out Taylor blew things out of proportion, and it was Taylor who burned them down. 

I don’t know what happened.  Did Taylor think Karlie’s first wedding was legitimate and an ambush to desert her?  Or is this lyric indicating Taylor felt Karlie betrayed secrets to Jo$h and or $cooter which enabled them to buy her masters at exactly the wrong time for an official coming out?  I don’t know, because I’m not sure any song is specific enough to untangle it.  What we do know is that whatever Karlie may have done, Taylor says she overreacted.  

Daylight continues, “clearing the air I breathed in the smoke”

Let’s talk about the connotation of smoke. Again, I’ll right-align the songs that contain the word since “smoke” is not in Question…

Cardigan and The Archer talk about the smoke left behind from the fiery Kaylor break-up:

Cardigan

The song speaks to things pertinent to our discussion:

1. Taylor knew she was Sapphic back at Seven even though adults assume you are just in a phase or confused as a young queer.  Especially fathers, according to Mary’s Song, where the daddies were notably absent from the fantasy wedding, which might explain the “leavin’ like a father” in Cardigan.  She compares herself to Peter Pan, who never grows up.  Taylor wants to be like that 7 year old freely getting close to the girl with the braids.

2. Karlie impacting Taylor forever (like a tattoo) is mentioned again.  Kaylor will haunt Taylor, and she will curse Karlie.  I will put the part about how Taylor regards her gayness like a curse, and says she’s haunted to mean she’s sapphic as a reminder of what we previously decided:

3. The 3rd pertinent thing in Cardigan that ties back to Question…, Daylight, Afterglow, is the smoke remaining after the fire.  In Ivy it was Taylor who pushed Karlie away and told her to run. 

These lines are from Karlie’s point of view:  

Ivy

This perspective shows Karlie suggests Kaylor take a risk and stay together.  Even with the “husband” in the picture (“drink my husband’s wine” = Jo$h’s wine).  But Taylor doesn’t wanna share, she says in Delicate.  And so Cardigan talks about how Karlie finally “ran like water” “steppin’ on the last train” because of Taylor’s stipulations (me or him).

Smoke is mentioned in The Archer, where Taylor is talking about her struggle with the closet.  She wants to keep her fans and fame, but it hurts her relationship with the girl. The song The Archer also mirrors the 3 items we talked about in Cardigan:

The Archer

1. Taylor never grew up and is still playing Peter Pan.  She wants to be regarded as the ‘good girl’.  Taylor can’t let herself go rogue, and come out of the closet for fear of losing everything.

2. Taylor views her queerness as a curse and haunting.  She paces like a ghost, unable to sleep because of the anxiety. But Karlie got under her skin and will impact her forever.  Taylor knows it’s unfair to ask Karlie to closet with her (“who could stay?”) but desperately wants to hold onto her (“help me hold onto you”). YOU is Karlie and the fans.

3. It’s Taylor who pushes Karlie to run, and take the last train.  It’s Taylor who jumps off the train and rides off alone.  She can’t stand the heat, is constantly afraid of the impending fire, and the invisible smoke hangs over her.

The heat is gay rumors and Karlie’s decision to remain with Jo$h. 

The fire is getting burned by coming out or worse, being outed.  The fire is the terror of Ku$hner-power hurting her to quell Kaylor.  The fire is Karlie’s “family” situation conflicting with Taylor’s own ideas of a fairytale life. 

The smoke is unrealized events that Taylor dreads.  The smoke is every time Taylor is gay on main and too many people notice.  The smoke is damage control by Taylor’s PR team and Taylor’s own overcorrections when things look too queer.  

Taylor suffers because she loves the gal, but also knows how “out(ed)” celebrities lose their fame and die all alone.

Daylight

Which brings us back to Daylight.  The smoke Taylor breathes in when trying to clear the air is Taylor holding onto imagined negative outcomes.  Running damage control and overcorrecting any gay situation.

The pain of picking closeting over the love of her life time and time again makes Taylor feel asphyxiated.  

Question… The Politics of Contrasts [Part 12]

10 Dec

Taylor wins the pronoun game.  I’m not even going to try to untangle the speaker/recipient/changing characters in this song.  It was written so convoluted that I haven’t even seen a satisfactory answer to this yet.  Instead, I took lyric snippets from other songs featuring the same word, to get a feeling about Taylor’s sentiment and even subject. Don’t get overwhelmed with the length of this post.  The word I’m trying to point-out from Question… lyrics is highlighted. 

f—ing politics and gender-roles

Politics:

Now this could simply mean the Ku$hners, TFG, Republicans, conservative viewpoints.

But let’s let the lyrics of other songs help us decipher the meaning. Just to be consistent.

Cardigan

Did Taylor use the word “sequin” to mean shiny?  Sequin is known to sparkle, and add ornamentation and flair.  

The sequin says, “pay attention to me” and symbolizes a light-hearted good-time gal vibe.

But I also like some fan interpretations that Taylor is ‘aging’ her subject with the phrase “sequin smile.”  This is a teen wearing metal braces (are those still a thing now that Invisalign is on the scene?).  She is describing a teen coming into their own in one of Cardigan’s many layers.

She immediately contrasts the sequin with the more serious and dark black lipstick.  

Taylor is layering meaning into these short phrases.  Taylor might be pointing out that people are complex, and can be light and fun, wearing sparkly, party sequin and have a darker more mysterious side, topping off their look with black lipstick.  She could be talking about two completely different people, one light and sparkly and one serious and deep.  Taylor could be contrasting her different eras, 1989 was light and poppy and Reputation was brooding and secretive.  I think they all work, and considering this is a folklore song, where honesty and fiction were woven together in intricate puzzles, I think she intended all meanings.

Sensual politics is a phrase that gets the same layered treatment as the previous line.  We have playful sexy ‘cat and mouse’ flirting and relationship drama that both teens and adults engage in.  Then, there is the airy feeling of attraction mixed with the heavier skirting the line of remaining politically correct or ethical [Talk about contrasts!  Using ethical and political in the same sentence.  But you know what I mean].  Love can be played like a complicated political battle.  And like the last phrase, this one too, is used as a callback to Taylor’s own eras.  Lover had a seductive, sultry side and a political message.  False God is a perfect example of this dichotomy, there is religious imagery to describe a (lesbian) sexual encounter.  But also, Cruel Summer with the moaning noises and “shape of your body” sit along side You Need to Calm Down with it’s name-drop of the GLAAD organization that advocates for the LGBTQQAA community.

It’s amazing how eloquently Taylor can pack so many meanings into just a few words!  She says “when you are young, they assume you know nothing”  to simultaneously address every different layered meaning she just set out in the contrasting phrases.  Teens are both fun and moody.  Adults think teens are too fickle, playful, and risky, when it comes to dating.  But they pull the exact same precarious mating rituals themselves.  One person can convey exuberance while feeling dreary inside.  Taylor can be a popular good-time gal with model friends in 1989 then go dark and reclaim the snake side of herself in Reputation.  Taylor is starry-eyed, romantic, and dramatic, but she’s also grounded, astute, and agreeable.  And she always knew (she was gay).

It was one drink after another, f—ing politics and gender-roles

We already discussed how Taylor drinks to alleviate her anxiety.  And being seen as queer triggers that anxiety.  “Fucking politics and gender roles,” following the procedure of letting other lyrics paint the picture of the this song’s overall meaning, might be pointing out a contrast just like in Cardigan.  Taylor is talking about feeling torn between her sexuality and desires and being politically correct, seen as a the ideal woman.  It’s another dichotomy for her.  She’s gay, anxious, and drunk, yet she is hyper-feminine, confident, and palatable to the masses.  It’s a struggle for Taylor to be authentic to who she is, but also appeal to a wide swath of people to further her career.  More than the specific event Question… brings up, it’s this contradiction that is the true subject of the song, as we’re seeing over and over in every lyrical example.

Taylor Swift’s Question… Analysis [Part 1]

24 Nov

Taylor wins the pronoun game.  I’m not even going to try to untangle the speaker/recipient/changing characters in this song.  It was written so convoluted that I haven’t even seen a satisfactory answer to this yet.  Instead, I took lyric snippets from other songs featuring the same word, to get a feeling about Taylor’s sentiment and even subject. Don’t get overwhelmed with the length of this post.  The word I’m trying to point-out from Question… lyrics is highlighted.  

(I remember)

False God

August

Other Side of the Door

Wildest dreams

All Too Well

The “remember” in each of these songs seems tinged with sadness and regret.  They all deal with miscommunications with lovers.  It’s the first line of Question… which tells us the subject of the song will be sadness and regret about losing a lover.

Snow on the Beach-I Guess They Call it Falling

22 Nov

I don’t like this song. I think it’s boring, and not really a duet or feature. I’m less trying to analyze this in a serious way and more of a playful trying to connect dots. I saw a SwiftGron analysis and thought it was quite plausible, but I don’t know anything about that period of time, so if I tried to find connections it would really be just copying someone else’s work. Also, I wanted to include Kelsea Ballerini, because I do think her album is all about Taylor.

I think the gist of this song is Taylor becoming infatuated with Karlie.  The weirdness is a different kind of love.  The weirdness is public homophobia.  The silent snow is the private, closeted nature of the relationship.  It’s not the first time Taylor had a private, closeted relationship.  I don’t think (because I don’t have the foundational knowledge) Taylor is directly referencing Dianna and Swiftgron in these lyrics, but Taylor’s WLW relationship behavior comes into play.  Being closeted and famous is hard on a relationship and both Swiftgron (I think?) and Kaylor were full of extenuating circumstances and external forces making things difficult.  Both relationships were on and off.  And there might have been some overlap between Swiftgron and Kaylor.  Enter Kelsea Ballerini.  I also don’t think Taylor is intentionally mentioning KelSwift in this song, but this song also has parallels to Kelsea’s album.  Kelsea is commenting on this type of situation, and the lyrics of her songs fit very well in the Kaylor rebound (or cheating?) situation.  Alas, I was unable to tie Zoe Kravitz to the song even though I think her and Taylor have something going possibly currently or during quarantine at least…

One night a few moons ago

I saw flecks of what could’ve been lights

But it might have just been you

Passing by unbeknownst to me

This line reminds me of Taylor’s song,

Long Story Short

Dianna’s Tumblr was:

It also reminds me of

Question…

Life is emotionally abusive

And time can’t stop me quite like you did

Like you did—it’s in past tense.  So this part of the song is not talking about a current love.

And my flight was awful, thanks for asking

Does it place this song timeline around Snake-gate (2016)?

My first thought regarding this line is the end of the LWYMMD video showing all the different eras/reputation song Taylors.  One of the Taylors cuts the wing of the plane to show a possible scrapped album (Karma?) and graffitis “Reputation” on the side.  The controversy caused a change in album eras from hippy to dark.

Or is it bringing up the new private jet controversy?

Or is Taylor just referring to someone who does ask about her day, and invest in her feelings (she flies a lot)?

Unlike the subject of Lavender Haze (Joe?):

I’m unglued, thanks to you

Kissgate Damage Control:

Very hurtful, Taylor.

Question… 

And it’s like snow at the beach

Weird but fucking beautiful

Taylor does a special behind the music for two songs only, and one of them was Lavender Haze, a very gay-sounding title, given the LGBT communities history, ties, and affiliations to that color.

Of course the Hetlors took that and ran with homophobia. Because of course a vague “weird” means stigma over gayness, amIright?

In this particular instance the “weird rumors” in Lavender Haze are the 1950s shit.  Marriage/pregnancy, etc…  But is she playing with the assumptions of Hetlers in this song by saying what they thought (in this situation and every situation, honestly) was “weird” aka gay stuff, is the love she considers beautiful?

Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful

You wanting me tonight feels impossible

But it’s coming down, no sound, it’s all around

Coming down can also be negative. The relationship is coming down because of external forces. Alluded to in

Question…

Being nearly outed causes Kaylor to go into damage control and eventually go dark altogether.  Which causes many problems for Taylor and Karlie.  It’s stressful, and a lot of the issues are external, not really malicious between them (The Great War).  Yet, it’s too much pressure and I suspect they break up several times based on Death by a Thousand Cuts and many other songs.  Somewhere in the Kaylor on and off relationship, I Taylor could have had a thing with Kelsea.

Listening to Kelsea’s album, it’s certain Kelsea, at least, loves(d) Taylor.  

Looking back at Taylor’s past I think it’s reasonable to think that Kelsea could have been a rebound to one of the break ups, if not the final Kaylor break up.  Because closeting causes relationship stress.  And Taylor did that before.  I think.  Did Dianna and Taylor also have an on and off relationship?  I missed all of Swiftgron so I don’t know as much about it.  But Style addresses this:

So it’s plausible it could happen again.

Kelsea’s I Guess They Call it Fallin’

PEDESTAL?

How common of a word is this?

But here it is in a Taylor song.

Long Story Short

and I think that song is referencing this TS song–

Wonderland

Strangers watching, gossip, gay rumors may have had a hand in making that relationship go south. The closeting killing love is a repetitive theme in Taylor’s love life.

Like snow on the beach

Like snow on the beach

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, oh, oh oh

This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen

I searched aurora borealis green

This is the part that convinced me most about someone else’s Dianna theory. The cold beach vacation where Northern Lights can be seen? And Dianna having green eyes. It’s pretty on the nose. But here’s what I found in my own research:

Karlie is a spokesperson for Swarovski. Who, like developed the Aurora Borealis effect in crystals.

I’ve never seen someone lit from within

Blurring out my periphery

Taylor can only see this person.  Everything else is blurred.  This person made her lose all perspective and her entire focus is on them.

My smile is like I won a contest

Here’s a song talking about winning a prize. I think “winning” Karlie over Jo$h is what Willow is talking about.

Willow

And to hide that would be so dishonest

This line gets into the meat of the Kaylor external problems and primary conflict:

I Know Places

Gay Panic.  Taylor wants to keep the WLW private. She wants to remain safely within the kingdom of her bedroom with her private lover.

Taylor says she is too afraid and goes into gay panic damage control mode if the rumors get too loud.

Peace

I think the first verse of Peace is Taylor saying she’ll always stay afraid, in the closet and the remaining verses of the song are Karlie assuring Taylor it will be fine. Karlie says she loves Taylor for real. And they’ve always glass-closeted and it’s been OK so far.

Renegade

To me, this song seems like Taylor’s idea of what Karlie wants to tell her (“Karlie” talking):

I guess Karlie got tired of waiting and decided Taylor’s fear of living out in the open with her was more of a ‘do you just not want to’ situation.  She went back to her beard and had a baby.

Exile

Taylor says she is in agony remaining in the closet, but seeing Karlie have a public boyfriend (he’s a beard). Karlie tells Taylor, just come out we were always walking right on the edge of public/private love.  Taylor knows how the movie ends and is still fearful about being openly WLW.  Karlie says she can’t come out for Taylor, she can’t spend any more time commiserating the imperfect circumstances, Karlie has no more tears for this situation.  Now Taylor now has to live with seeing Karlie in a public relationship with a family.  And Taylor says she’ll come out.  But only the side door = Lavender Haze.

Back to this song:

And it’s fine to fake it ’til you make it

‘Til you do, ’til it’s true

Taylor signals about WLW.  She inserts gay lyrics and double-meanings.  She’s softly coming out, little by little.  Coming out the side door, faking it til she can actually do it.  

Also, the fake it part could be Taylor trying her best to move on from Kaylor.  She doesn’t want to be blue and stuck at the restaurant.  So she tries to feel something with other women.  Kelsea says she’s at least one of these women:

Fletcher’s remix of Better Version, feat Kelsea Ballerini

See my other post about this verse, and how I ruled out Morgan Evans as the subject, and ruled in Taylor.  I mean fuck HER is not about Morgan, right?  I guess Kelsea could also play the pronoun game, but in a Fletcher (out as some part of the LGBTQ community) song?!

Now it’s like snow at the beach

Weird but fucking beautiful

Here’s a couple of Kelsea songs with the same type of vibe of Snow on the Beach. It seems like Kelsea and Taylor might have had a stargazing date or something like that.

Kelsea’s Love is a Cowboy

Kelsea I Guess They Call it Fallin’

Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful

Kelsea’s Marilyn:

Kelsea brings up the main problem: Taylor choses fame over her own authenticity. She is a celebrity that everyone knows, yet goes to a house, not a home, alone. It’s personally unfulfilling hiding your sexuality and true loves as the trade-off for legend-status.

You wanting me tonight feels impossible

But it’s coming down, no sound, it’s all around

Kelsesa’s I Guess They Call it Fallin’

Like snow on the beach

Like snow on the beach

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, oh, oh oh

I can’t speak afraid to jinx it

I don’t even dare to wish it

But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet

Kelsea’s Universe:

Now I’m All For You like Janet

I think it’s nice to reference other important artists in your work.  That said, this line is very jarring and fights with the tone of the rest of the song.  I find it to stick out like a sore thumb, be forced, and out of place.  I’m not sure if this was part of Lana’s contribution, but I’ll reach anyway to try to put it into some context (I’d like to throw it out).  I couldn’t find any commonality between Janet and Karlie.  Or Zoe Kravitz (who I would love to find some sort of lyrical evidence on because I think this is a real thing too).  I found a teeny thing relating to Kelsea, but don’t scratch my eyes out about it–it’s the best I could do with this one…

Kelsea is divorced now. Possibly because she discovered her sexuality through a love or fling with a woman.

Can this be a real thing? Can it?

Are we falling like snow at the beach?

The snow coming down and all the fallin’s fit together. It does seem like two perspectives talking about the same moment.

Kelsesa’s I Guess They Call it Fallin’

Weird but fucking beautiful

Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful

Kelsesa’s I Guess They Call it Fallin’

Kelsea doesn’t like being played with. She felt all these strong feelings and real emotions, but the other person let her down. They are living in a dream world, not reality.

You wanting me tonight feels impossible

But it’s coming down, no sound, it’s all around

Like snow on the beach (snow on the beach)

Like snow on the beach (are we in a dream?)

Like snow on the beach (you want me)

Like snow (like snow)

But it’s coming down, no sound, it’s all around

I think the repetitive ending is very similar to the end of Kelsesa’s song.

Kelsesa’s I Guess They Call it Fallin’

Like snow on the beach (it’s coming down, it’s coming down)

(It’s coming down, it’s coming down)

Like snow on the beach

(It’s coming down, it’s coming down, it’s coming down, it’s coming down)

(It’s coming down, it’s coming down, it’s coming down, it’s coming down)

(Coming down, it’s coming down, it’s coming down, it’s coming down)

Taylor loved Karlie.  The closeting was too much.  Kaylor was unsustainable.  Karlie moved on and Taylor was still at the restaurant, hair pinned up.  Taylor may have tried to soothe her broken heart, and/or move on by seeing Kelsea.  But the KelSwift relationship is just another let down.  Kelsea Taylor simply can’t let go of Kaylor and that makes her unable to be open to new love right now.  Kelsea, made discoveries about herself partially as a result of this fling/hook-up/dating? 

And now she’s hurt too.

KelSwift and Kaylor on again off again

1 Oct

You saw my disclaimer on the other 3-4 posts that yes, this post is Taylor-centric because I’m trying to find connections.  The thing that started this was Kelsea’s lyric:  DAISES ON THE DASHBOARD?!  For what reason?  It’s not a common expression, or something that happens.  That is a purposeful, direct connection to Kaylor.  So here we are, seeing ANY possible others…  But I like Kelsea as an artist in her own right, I’m not saying she’s copying Taylor, or that Taylor wrote her songs or anything disrespectful.  I’m just trying to call out possible intentional connections that Kelsea placed across her new album.

If this is confirmation bias–it’s sure strong.  And it speaks to how Taylor’s writing has the ability to capture universal, relatable feelings in all sorts of situations.  So many lyrics of Taylor’s encapsulate just what an individual is feeling or going through.  If this song is not intentionally referencing Taylor’s work–then Kelsea needs to give Taylor a call, because Tay could really be an understanding shoulder to cry on.  She gets what Kelsea is going through–says her lyrics.

Each one of these lyrical parallels would be considered a “reach” by the mean-Gaylors and the hetlors.  And it’s true, after seeing the daises line, I was really looking deep, and trying to pull out any, little thing that connected to Taylor. So some of these just might be stretching it. This write-up may delve into fan-fiction territory, but take from it what you like, and leave what feels too “reachy” (to use a word I’m tired of). But when there’s TEN “reaches” in one song is it confirmation bias or a preponderance of evidence?  Time will tell.  Midnights out October 21, 2022.

I GUESS THEY CALL IT FALLIN’ (Lyrics)

I guess they call it falling ’cause you end up on the ground/You can’t live forever with your head up in the clouds

I mean, Taylor Swift [Lover] OUT now?!

As we discussed before Kelsea might be talking about the beginning of the Lover era where Taylor was actively trying to get Karlie back (the literal signs, the mural, etc, etc…).  A lot of cloud imagery was used for Lover promo so Kelsea uses the word “clouds” to describe this more complex situation.  See Kelsea’s song Weather in another post.

Think it’s written in the stars ’til they burn out

I am waiting to see if Taylor talks about stars in her new album–it’s a pet theory of mine with no evidence yet.  I have seen stars (and the moon) mentioned across this album of Kelsea’s.  And it makes sense to me for Taylor to move on from Karlie (the sun) to Kelsea the stars and/or moon.

…I was like, “Oh my God”, every thought played like a video

I thought the quotations and video was an odd turn of phrase, so I looked up Taylor’s lyrics where she says, “Oh my God” and found:

A song about the media and public having this perception of Taylor.  She is tongue in cheek here, playing into that (false) perception.  The subtext/secret meaning of the song is about bearding.  

Shake It Off is a song about ignoring haters and living your best life. 

That song also addresses the media and public’s perception of Taylor:

The third song where Taylor uses, “Oh my God” talks about the perception that Taylor is a serial dater who just writes songs about her exes:

All three of these songs talk about the (false) perception in the general public that Taylor is boy-crazy. And the narrative pushed by the media that Taylor just writes songs about her exes. The were really big music videos for Taylor as well.

I think in this line Kelsea is saying when her and Taylor were first having romantic sparks, she was incredulous.  Kelsea might have been surprised because the media portrays Taylor as a man-eater, and Taylor’s public persona leans into dating and writing songs about men.  So Kelsea might have been shocked to have a romantic connection with Taylor. She might also have been a bit star-struck to have something serious with someone of Taylor’s caliber of fame, since Kelsea had seen Taylor in her music videos before meeting her in person.

Left your shirt, and the hurt, now I curse your Acqua di Gio

Taylor’s Tis the Damn Season mentions perfume:

It’s about how Taylor goes back to her hometown (Nashville, where Kelsea also lives) to visit her parents and has an on again off again fling when she’s home. Both people are OK with this situationship. Taylor talks about how when she’s home that relationship and life (road not taken) seems good, but she left that geographic location.  But it still is part of her and stays with her.   

In Illicit Affairs Taylor talks about sleeping with someone who is committed to somebody else (Karlie is officially with Jo$h).  They have to lie and sneak around to see each other.  But living in secret gets real old, and the high of their encounters feels less and less good as time goes on because of the million lies.

The perfume is used as a “tell” of the encounter.  Perfume can be used to cover up the scent of the side-chick so her smell is not noticed by the boyfriend. Karlie might put on the perfume Jo$h bought her (or perfume she picked out because Jo$h liked the smell) to cover up Taylor’s smell on her. It could go the other way too: Perfume cannot be worn during the encounters because it would leave scent-evidence that the person was there.  If Jo$h could smell Taylor’s perfume on their bed there would be questions.

Kelsea curses the perfume because the scent left behind makes her think of Taylor.  And also the perfume represents secrets and hiding an affair, so it makes Kelsea think of the Kaylor bearding triangle.  

That night you told me I hung your moon (I hung your moon)

If Midnights has moons and stars, I will not shut up about it!!!

I jumped right in with no parachute (No parachute, oh, oh)/…Did you only get me high to let me down?

Taylor uses “high” in two of her more WLW songs:

Call it What You Want is a definite Karlie song (Call it what you want, Karlie what you want).  Taylor tells Karlie that she can call what they have going on whatever she wants.  Karlie is  nervous about it.  Karlie doesn’t want to be a cheater.  But Taylor just wants to keep what they have going alive, even if it needs to be secret and unofficial.  It doesn’t have to be lesbian-love, call it anything that makes you more comfortable. It speaks to the on-again off-again nature of Kaylor also. With Karlie being nervous about breaking her commitment to Jo$h as one reason for the encounters to be fleeting and secretive, on and off.

Kelsea using “high” in opposition to down could reference an on and off Taylor relationship.  And when Kelsea thinks of Taylor’s songs pleading with Karlie to be with her, that’s what gets Kelsea down.  Whenever Kaylor is “on” that means Taylor is emotionally unavailable and physically gone from Kelsea. Kaylor and KelSwift and similar relationships. One person is on, then off, here than gone.

Another song where Taylor uses the word “high” is Don’t Blame Me.  In the song Taylor compares WLW love to a drug.  She says it’s bad for her and her brand and her image, but also she can’t stay away. “My drug is my baby.”  

Kelsea feels like her love with Taylor gets her high also.  When Taylor comes around and loves Kelsea, it’s like a drug.  It’s that same drug Taylor speaks about in her song, the WLW love, and Kelsea can’t leave it alone even though there’s a let down when Taylor/the WLW love leaves again.

I guess they call it falling ’cause you end up on your face/Sleeping by myself in a bed I didn’t make

If Taylor and Karlie were on and off, it’s possible Taylor got with Kelsea during the Kaylor “off” periods.  And it wasn’t Kelsea’s choice to be alone during the Kaylor “on” periods.   Taylor’s song, Willow describes Taylor sneaking in to see Karlie even though she’s committed to Jo$h (bearding contract or bisexual love, we don’t know).

Willow talks about sneaking around to be with your secret WLW lover despite commitments to men and secrecy to preserve public images. The partner is mythical, because they are gone a lot, mostly a dream not reality. Describing a lover as a trophy or champion ring could speak to Taylor and Jo$h fighting over Karlie. In their fighting, they’re treating her as an object without autonomy to make her own choices. “Prize I’d cheat to win” probably has the double meaning of cheating in a relationship, and also cheating/lying to the public to hide the true nature of the relationship. “I’m begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans, that’s my man” is one partner asking the other to commit fully to them. Wreck the bearding plans (for one or both Taylor/J0e and Karlie/Jo$h). In an interview, when asked about Jo$h, Karlie repeatedly referred to him as “my man” which came off as awkward. So Taylor may have written Willow with that in mind, to convey Karlie’s commitment to Jo$h as a stumbling block to be “home” (a committed relationship with each other).

Sleeping in a bed I didn’t make, is Kelsea saying that her relationship with Taylor, got her dragged into all this Kaylor drama. She didn’t create the Kaylor bearding triangle, but she has to live with the consequences of it too. Kelsea is left alone when Taylor is literally going back to Karlie, or emotionally still hung up on Kaylor.

… I should’ve known, should’ve known, should’ve known, should’ve known (I should’ve known, known)

I thought Kelsea’s repetition of this phrase was pointed, but didn’t know why.  I looked up the phrase in Taylor’s lyrics to check if Kelsea was insinuating a connection.

It’s funny that the lyric ties to White Horse a song about someone holding out hope that this other person will come around.  Ultimately Taylor realizes this person is going to let her down because she is being starry-eyed and dreamy about love, not realistic.

So that sentiment goes right along with Kelsea falling for an person who is back and fourth, in and out of her life.  There are highs when they’re together, but it comes at the cost of loneliness and feeling bad when Taylor physically leaves for Karlie (in earlier years), or emotionally checks out for missing the Kaylor relationship (in more current times).

… Then the wind, blowing in, threw me right off of my pedestal

Red is a song also about highs and lows of a passionate love that ends suddenly.  It seems connected to the theme of this song as well.

The word, “wind” again conjures, Willow which describes secret meetings and fooling the media/public with the bait and switch.  It’s a lover that comes and goes in secret, same as in Kelsea’s song.

In the second half of Kelsea’s phrase she says threw me off my pedestal. “Pedestal” is a very loaded word in GayLore.  It conjures Dianna, one of Taylor’s early girlfriends.  It’s also a common phrase when digging into Gaylor (Taylor’s LGBT subtext and secretive relationships) to say “going down the rabbit hole” which was Dianna’s heading on Tumblr (I think?).  

Taylor doesn’t have a copyright on the word, but if Kelsea were trying to reference Gaylor things, that would be a good way to do it.  In Long Story Short, Taylor describes being at the top, then falling down (kinda like this song) then clinging to the nearest lips. . .

…[Bridge]/I should’ve known gravity was gonna pull/You and me, down, down, down

In one of Taylor’s gayest songs, she uses “gravity” to describe the pull she has to a dangerous partner/type of love.  And Taylor says that other person (Dianna?) is quicksand.  Meaning not stable, fickle, here and gone.  Sort of like this song is saying Taylor is in and out, bringing Kelsea love to make her high, then leaving and making Kelsea fall to the ground, sad and lonely.

But I know now/I should’ve known gravity was gonna pull/You and me, down, down, down

A second song of Taylor’s uses “gravity” to describe her inability to stay away from this lover/love that’s bad for her brand.  Dancing with Our Hands Tied aka the Kissgate song, is another of Taylor’s gayest songs.  So it’s funny that this song talking about a love interest that is fickle and leaving all the time, talks about that love interest feeling scared about homophobia.  Taylor, loves Karlie, but doesn’t want to get caught as WLW and lose her career success.  So she runs away and hides, despite love.  And Kelsea is acknowledging that not only Kaylor takes Taylor away from their relationship, but Taylor’s skittishness about being out(ed) is a barrier to her being emotionally/romantically available.

But I know now/…[Outro]/(I guess they call it fallin’, ah-ah, ah)/I guess they call it fallin’/(I guess they call it fallin’, ah-ah, ah)

Finally, one of Taylor’s songs that uses “falling” perfectly encapsulates the meaning of this song.  

Taylor tells Dianna to stay with her instead of leaving all the time.  Taylor fell in love, but it’s not happy, it’s cruel because Dianna is worlds away.  Now the shoe is on the other foot and Taylor is worlds away while Kelsea is sad when she’s gone.

If you were only gonna let me go/Ah-ah, ah, ah-ah

Kelsea Ballerini Promises Not to Out Someone (Taylor Swift?) Because it Would Out Her Too

25 Sep

Disclaimer:

OK this is going to be all about Taylor because I’m trying to convey the connections I noticed. And maybe some of it is a “reach” (can we retire that word?!) as the more mean-girl Gaylors and the homophobes accuse of anything that’s outside the well-established narrative.  I heard many things, that alone, didn’t mean much, but compiled all together made me think, hmmmmm.  So this is me looking at Kelsea’s work through a frame of trying to find proof she is into women and also that her and Taylor had a fling/are together/are WLW besties–something is there!  But please know that I like Kelsea Ballerini as an artist, on her own terms.  

IF YOU GO DOWN (I’M GOIN’ DOWN TOO)

I’ve known you since Brad and Angelina

Brad and Angelina got together on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, in 2005.  They collected children, and then got engaged in April of 2012.  The wedding took place in August 2014.  Angelina filed for divorce August 2016.  So that puts the timeline anywhere between 2005 and 2016, with the actual marriage between 2014-2016.  Kelsie and Taylor met in 2015.

Taylor’s Tweet:

Taylor invites Kelsea to her friend, Abigail’s birthday party:

…If I got an aisle with a mess I gotta clean up

A double entendre–clean up a mess on aisle 7, and also walking down an aisle to marry, cleaning up that mistake with divorce.

Kelsie learning about herself and realizing she had been forced into a straight marriage?  She had to use a lot of introspection and therapy to realize she was in a comp-het situation, and un-learn her heteronormative training.  And when she was finished with that she realized the man had to go.

I know you’ll be showin’ up with bleach, hmm

This reminds me of Taylor’s song, No Body No Crime:

Taylor was going to clean up a mess of a different marriage that ended in that song.

This line could also be a reference to hair bleach.

The Met Gala of Getaway Car fame.

Depending on the narrative you believe, this is the night Taylor left Calvin Harris for Tom Hiddleston.  It has also been said Taylor met Joe Alwyn at the 2016 Met Gala.  If you’re a Kaylor, you know it’s the night Taylor ditched 2 beards (Calvin and Tom), arranged a long term beard (Joe), and ran away from Jo$h Ku$hner (Karlie’s long term BF/beard) with Karlie.  A lot was happening that night!  Been in each of those scenarios Taylor, with her bleachella hair, was leaving a relationship.  And Kelsea is talking about leaving her marriage.

All those names that we don’t ever speak of

Kelsie and Taylor both have had their share of feuds and exes:

Got a couple nights that have slipped my mind/Proof and photographs have been deleted

I found this headline by Googling their names:

https://country925.iheart.com/alternate/amp/2018-05-09-kelsea-ballerini-and-taylor-swift-in-towels/

I included the link so you can see I didn’t do any fancy cutting and pasting–the image that used to be on that provocatively headline was removed… Just like Kelsea said in the song…

If you ever needed an alibi/’Cause dirt on you is dirt on me/And we both know our hands ain’t clean/If it all blows up and we end up on the news

Here’s another headline with a deleted picture that I came across:

Taylor’s song, Delicate is about the nervousness of getting closer to someone when you’re first seeing each other.  There’s an added layer of precariousness in the song because this date is between two gals.  There’s an anxiety about going for this relationship, but also a lot of sexual chemistry.  It’s pretty steamy, really:

Kelsie doing a cover of that particular song is very loud to me.

If you go down, I’m going down too/It’s a good thing we’re each other’s kinda crazy/Ain’t no judgment or keepin’ score

Kelsie might be referencing Taylor’s song, hoax, where Taylor references her painful breakup with Karlie:

In, False God Taylor told us she’s New York City:

And Karlie Kloss was the West Village:

So part of me back in New York is saying Taylor had her heart in NY, but had to leave because she can’t bear to be reminded of Karlie everywhere she goes.  The keeping score bitter line in Taylor’s heartbreak song is what Kelsea brings up in this song–she won’t do that to Taylor like Karlie did.

If you rob a bank, I’m your getaway Mercedes

God knows that’s what friends are for/’Cause dirt on you is dirt on me/And we both know our hands ain’t clean/If it all blows up and we end up on the news/If you go down, I’m going down too/If you go down, I’m going down too, yeah/I keep all your secrets by the dozen

These lines have to be about closeting and outing.  If these two had a fling or shared their secrets that gives each one of them ammunition and leverage over the other.  One cannot out the other without outing themselves. 

I think rather than a threat, this is meant to calm Taylor.  She does not want to be outed and is always fearful that she will get recognized by everyone as WLW before she’s ready, so Kelsea is saying, don’t worry, I can’t out you because I would be outing myself.  And since they’re both singers they both understand what they would be losing by being outed. It’s a sort of consolation that the gayness of it all will remain secret.

You know where my skeletons sleep

Kelsie may be talking about Taylor’s song, Cowboy Like Me here:

In the song Taylor is saying she does stuff purely for money.  Bandits, tricks up my sleeve, takes one to know one all indicate she has met someone just like her–pretending to like rich people or date men so rich people approve in order to get the money/fame.

Forever is the sweetest con is a line that I think speaks to lavender marriage.

Hypothetically, if you ever kill your husband

Kelsie is using this as an exaggeration of something terrible that she would still keep a secret.  It does double-duty here being a call-back to Taylor’s No Body No Crime:

And also could be speaking about “killing” the bearding contract.  Killing the idea of being married to a man.  Killing the charade.  And if Taylor decides to ditch Joe and other beards, Kelsea says she will still never tell that Taylor is WLW or that they had/have? a thing.

Hand on the Bible, I’d be lyin’ through my teeth/’Cause dirt on you is dirt on me/And we both know our hands ain’t clean/If it all blows up and we end up on the news/If you go down, I’m going down too/Our bodies are buried and they’re in the same ditch/So even if I wanted to, I can’t snitch/30 to life would go quicker with you, yeah/So, if you go down, I’m going down too/If you go down, I’m going down too/If you go down, I’m going down too

This song to me, is an acknowledgement that Kelsea knows a secret about Taylor, and has that same secret.  I don’t know if they were just honest with each other, or had a fling, or are dating, but this song is LOUDLY about closeting and being outed.

Reputation Re-listen: 3rd Lens

23 Jan

1st lense: Public persona. Straight. Thought it was bad. The BF stuff was OTT. As such, the rest of this analysis is from the perspective that Oat Milk is a beard (Grammygate).
2nd lense: Kaylor. Eyes opened, everything made better sense. It’s a WLW love story.
3rd lense: in light of Karlie baby. Post FolkMore.
It’s all of those. Taylor was layering meanings into songs (for plausible deniability) before she admitted it in folklore.

I included lyrical analysis in this, but not quotes from Taylor outside of her songs. When marketing an album to the general public she tends to be an unreliable narrator, and cherry-picking takes away from the credibility of these conclusions. The truth is (buried) in her lyrics.

Call It What You Want (pertinent lines and [brackets show my words]):

My castle crumbled overnight I brought a knife to a gunfight They took the crown, but it’s alright [Snakegate] All the liars are calling me one [KimYe] Nobody’s heard from me for months [Reputation black-out] I’m doing better than I ever was, ’cause My baby’s fit like a daydream [Victoria’s Secret Angel, Karlie] High above the whole scene [tall, and also out of the KimYe drama] Windows boarded up after the storm [during reputation black-out, Kaylor went underground together] He built a fire [Karlie] just to keep me warm All the drama queens taking swings [Karda$hians] All the jokers dressin’ up as kings [Kanye] They fade to nothing when I look at him I’m laughing with my lover, making forts under covers

Taylor is in love with Karlie. She says they don’t have to label it if that doesn’t work for Karlie:

(Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to Call it what you want, yeah Call it what you want To [said fast it even sounds like Karlie’s name in here]

Taylor writes a lot about the sexual chemistry of Kaylor:

Don’t Blame Me

I’ve been breakin’ hearts a long time, and [Taylor’s serial-dater reputation] Toyin’ with them older guys [Jake G, John M, Tom H…] Just to play things for me to use [beards]

Something happened for the first time, in The darkest little paradise Shakin, pacin’, I just need you I get so high, oh Every time, yeah every time you’re lovin’ me You’re lovin’ me Oh, Lord, save me, my drug is my baby I’d be usin’ for the rest of my life [Lesbian sex.]

My name is whatever you decide [Karlie misspells Taylor’s name in the sand during the Big Sur trip] And I’m just gonna call you mine Halo, hiding my obsession [VS Angel and also Taylor Swift the wholesome/straight brand] I once was poison ivy, but now I’m your daisy [a daisy on the dashboard identical to the pic on the liner notes; also Ivy from Evermore calls back to this]

I rearranged the lyrics of So It Goes:

Met you in a bar [Delicate? or the 2014 Met Gala?] All eyes on me, your illusionist [Taylor is not what she seems] All eyes on us [Guests, media, the public?] See you in the dark All eyes on you, my magician [magical but twists the truth does tricks to obscure] All eyes on us You make everyone disappear, and [Taylor only has eyes for Karlie]

Cut me into pieces Gold cage, hostage to my feelings

[Taylor is in love, yet still in her metaphorical cage. She has to hide this love from the public for the sake of her career. She’s also in the cage because her love, Karlie, is committed to someone else (Jo$h).]

Back against the wall [no options] Trippin’, trip-trippin’ when you’re gone [Karlie goes back to Jo$h] ‘Cause we breakdown a little I’m so chill, but you make me jealous [Taylor doesn’t want to share Karlie] But I got your heart Skippin’, skip-skippin’ when I’m gone [Both of them feel love, not just Taylor]

[There’s a lot of outside factors standing between Taylor and Karlie, and making their relationship complicated and messy.]

But when you get me alone, it’s so simple ‘Cause baby, I know what you know We can feel it And all the pieces fall Right into place Getting caught up in a moment Lipstick on your face So it goes I make all your gray days clear and Wear you like a necklace [lesbian sex graphic reference] But when I get you alone, it’s so simple ‘Cause baby, I know what you know We can feel it You know I’m not a bad girl [Commenting on public stigma of gays] But I do bad things with you [Sexually-speaking] So it goes Come here, dressed in black now So, so, so it goes Scratches down your back now So, so, so it goes

[sex, sex, sex is so passionate and great and makes all the public image and commitments to others momentarily disappear]

I’m yours to keep [Karlie could choose Taylor] And I’m yours to lose [will Karlie choose Jo$h?] You did a number on me [Staying committed to Jo$h while seeing Taylor] But honestly, baby, who’s counting? I did a number on you [bearding, anxious about their relationship] But honestly, baby, who’s counting? [Proceeds to count. Maybe saying resentments are building up on both sides]

End game through this 3rd lens seems less like couple goals as I had previously interpreted it, and more like begging Karlie to choose her (over Jo$h):

Big reputation, big reputation Ooh you and me we got big reputations [obv Taylor and Karlie individually and together]

I don’t wanna touch you (I don’t wanna be) Just anther ex-love (you don’t wanna see) I don’t wanna miss you (I don’t wanna miss you) [When Karlie goes back to Jo$h] Like the other girls do I don’t wanna hurt you (I just wanna be) Drinkin’ on a beach with (you all over me And I can’t let you go, your hand print’s on my soul [Taylor is deeply in love with Karlie] It’s like your eyes are liquor, it’s like your body is gold [Karlie] You’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks So here’s the truth from my red lips I wanna be your end game I wanna be your first string I wanna be your A Team I wanna be your endgame, endgame

[This screams, please pick me overJo$h]

Delicate under the 3rd lens seems less like a nervous 1st date and more like anxiety that Karlie is a flight risk.

We can’t make any promises Now can we, babe Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you’re in my head? ‘Cause I know that it’s delicate (Delicate) Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? ‘Cause I know that it’s delicate

[Taylor is full of anxiety, not wanting to scare Karlie away, not wanting to push boundaries.]

Third floor on the West Side, me and you [Kaylor sex] Handsome, you’re a mansion with a view [Karlie] Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Long night with your hands up in my hair Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs Stay here, honey, I don't want to share [with Jo$h] 'Cause I like you Sometimes I wonder; when you sleep Are you ever dreaming of me? [vs. Jo$h] Sometimes when I look into your eyes I pretend you're mine, all the damn time 'Cause I like you

Dress is the Met Gala (2014 or 2016?). Things were sexy, there was attraction, they had undeniable chemistry.

Wildest Dreams is looking backward at the Big Sur trip Kaylor took after they met. So looking about here in the timeline. They were in love.

I believe Taylor was writing songs that went on the Lover album and was interrupted by KimYe/Snakegate. That's why some of the Lover tracks fit chronologically between Reputation tracks.

A stressor to Kaylor is election season ramping up. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak King [Taylor doesn't want her brand associated with Ku$hners/Trump. Thus she could not be open that her and Karlie are in a romantic/sexual relationship (even though she feels so much for Karlie).]

Getaway car

1st lens: Leaving Calvin (Tom?!) for Joe. Makes no sense. Too many people and an inconsistent timeline.
2nd lens: leaving beards for true love Karlie. Occasional lines don't make sense- did Taylor switch perspectives within the lyrics?
3rd lens: ditching Jo$h to have Kaylor sex. And lines like:

No, nothing good starts in a getaway car [Kaylor is doomed]
He [not Calvin, not beards. Jo$h] poisoned the well, [Jo$h was working against Kaylor, he was doing his best to thwart Taylor and persuade Karlie to stay with him] I was lying to myself [That she was hetero/bi (she's not), that she could handle a casual relationship, and that Karlie would leave Jo$h forever to be with her]. I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we were cursed
We were flyin', but we'd never get far
There were sirens in the beat of your heart [this trist is exciting but problematic. Both for the public finding out about WLW. But also bc TS is seriously in love and that will cause problems.]

*This stanza:

It was the great escape, the prison break

Both from the Met gala (a bit confusing bc Kaylor went at least twice-2014 and 2016 I think) but also Taylor from comp-het. Now she realizes she's lesbian. I say that because Taylor already knew she liked women. She dated Diana. And I'm assuming it wasn't just a Kaylor sex, 'I am sexually attracted to women' epiphany, because Swiftgron lasted awhile and I'm assuming they were sexual. But there is some sort of revelation Taylor has in this part of the song. A change has taken place, and something is different about Taylor compared to before.

The light of freedom on my face

A change has taken place within Taylor, and it's evident to observers. Even though Taylor previously dated Diana, she has this "prison break" moment where she realizes she wasn't bisexual after all. I wonder if Taylor had previously felt like her dalliances with women were just about sex. She may not have taken them as seriously, and still thought she would end up with a guy (compulsory heterosexuality). But in this Getaway Car prison break, she sees in her negative reaction to Karlie's commitment to Jo$h (and perceived indifference to Kaylor) that her (Taylor's) love is different. She realizes she is serious about wanting a relationship, not just having funsy sex.

But you weren't thinking [Karlie wasn't thinking of more then sex, and especially not considering the long term implications of a lesbian relationship] And I was just drinking Well, he [Not any beard, Jo$h] was running after us, I was screaming, "Go, go, go!" But with three of us, honey, it's a sideshow And a circus ain't a love story [There are Jo$h, Karlie, and Taylor involved.]

I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we [Kaylor] were cursed It hit you [Karlie]  like a shotgun [not romantic, deadly]  shot to the heart We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde (oh, oh) [the sneaking and sexing was fun and exciting]

Until I switched to the other side, [Taylor tells again of a revelation. She has the realization that she is not bisexual just wanting a friends w/benefits, or casually playing, but that she's actually full-lesbian with serious feelings] to the other si-i-i-i-ide [She emphasizes there is a change.]

There were sirens in the beat of your [Karlie- it's all fun and games until Taylor falls in love]  heart (should've known) [that Karlie didn't want that lesbian life] Should've known I'd be the first to leave

Taylor tells us that she broke up with Karlie. She thought Karlie wasn't taking Kaylor seriously because she remained committed to Jo$h. Taylor tells us she was angry that her conveying a true love was received with anxiety by Karlie. And also, Taylor couldn't be outed by the relationship for her public image. And thirdly, she didn't want to be associated with Ku$hners and Trump.


Cruel Summer cements this.
Shape of your body is new. [Taylor with a woman. Taylor's lesbian status is new to her.] Blue. [Taylor is depressed about the implications of being gay. But also...] It's cool, that's what I tell 'em No rules in breakable heaven [She's also depressed that it's a casual sex thing with Karlie despite agreeing to those terms .] I'm drunk in the back of the car [getaway car?] And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh) Said I'm fine, but it wasn't true [what this song is about] I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you And I snuck in through the garden gate [but Taylor can't get enough of Karlie] Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh) [sex] And I screamed for whatever it's worth "I love you, " ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? [Because this isn't what Karlie wants (remember the shotgun to the heart)] He looks up grinning like a devil [kissgate, or Jo$h wins bc if they're outed Kaylor falls apart]

After this realization of being a lesbian, Taylor shuts Kaylor down bc of internalized homophobia, fear, and all the outside factors making Kaylor overly complicated.

Tolerate It [(song on folklore that could be looking back) parent and industry homophobia]

The Archer [worried about losing fans and career if she comes out]

Even though Daylight is the last track of the next album (Lover) I think it belongs here in the sequence of events. In the song, Taylor comes to terms with her sexuality.  I'm about to trade Daylight lyrics in what I believe to be a Chronological way:

Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke [kissgate] I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night [realization she knew she liked girls since she was 7, but was in the closet and also comp-het and bearding. Now she knows she's a lesbian.] My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in [internalized homophobia]

[Taylor comes to accept her sexuality] Like daylight It's golden like daylight You gotta step into the daylight and let it go Just let it go, let it go [Let fear and homophobia go] Maybe you ran with the wolves [Ku$hners] and refused to settle down [with Taylor under the condition that they could never have a public family bc of Taylor's image] Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town [Taylor is upset her and Karlie can't have real Love]

[Despite all the outside factors, Taylor cannot just leave Karlie]
I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you (I can never look away) I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you And now I see daylight, I only see daylight And I can still see it all (In my mind) All of you, all of me (Intertwined) I once believed love would be (Black and white) [Male female love] But it's golden (Golden) And I can still see it all (In my head) Back and forth from New York (Singing in your bed) I once believed love would be (Burning red) [Passionate, sex/fighting, bisexual?] But it's golden Like daylight, like daylight

This Love Happened around this point but looking back to the Wildest Dreams times. Folkmore has call-backs to this song.

Death by a Thousand Cuts is the next part of the Kaylor story.

Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch [so much sex, but also touched heart] Gave up on me like I was a bad drug [Karlie wants a public family and didn't want some covert hidden closeted one] Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club Our songs, our films, united we stand Our country, guess it was a lawless land [call back to Miss Americana and the Heartbreak King where she describes GOP winning the 2016 election. This also explains 1 reason why in the Getaway Car Taylor was unwilling to publicly be out with Karlie. Taylor didn't want to be associated with Ku$hners/Trump.] Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand [Fears of a public family with Karlie are gone.]

Taylor is regretful and heartbroken she left Karlie:

get drunk but it's not enough 'Cause you're not my baby I look through the windows of this love Even though we boarded them up [Kaylor broke up] Chandelier's still flickering here [Taylor still loves Karlie] 'Cause I can't pretend it's ok when it's not [being without Karlie] No, it's not It's death by a thousand cuts Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch My body, my love My trust But it [The sex. Taylor's trust.] wasn't enough, it wasn't enough, no,

Taylor is very depressed without Karlie. And she's re-thinking her reasons for breaking up with her.

Then is Cornelia Street:
Back when we were card sharks, playing games I thought you were leading me on [Taylor broke-up with Karlie after Getaway car because she thought Karlie wasn't taking their WLW thing more seriously. Karlie kept going back to Jo$h] I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street Before you even knew I was gone [getaway car]

But then you [Karlie] called, showed your hand [told Taylor Jo$h and her weren't real. Just a cover and means to have a public family] I turned around before I hit the tunnel Sat on the roof, you and I [Kaylor]

[Kaylor is back on]

I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends [but Taylor's afraid it's tenuous] I'd never walk Cornelia Street again That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend [folkmore confirms this] I'd never walk Cornelia Street again


In paper Rings (through the 3rd lens)
The wine is cold Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street Cat and mouse for a month or two or three [after the 1st break-up there was still an attraction between Kaylor] Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe [Cornelia Street told us Kaylor got back together after Karlie told Taylor Jo$h is not a real relationship. Then they sat on the roof together. Taylor looks back to Getaway car where she couldn't give Karlie that family life. But 2-3 months later here Taylor is watching Karlie sleep.] I want to drive away with you [Big Sur and also living happily ever after] I want your complications too [Jo$h situation. So Taylor says she'll accept Kaylor as it is. Karlie will still be entangled with the Ku$hners, but Taylor would rather accept that then not have Karlie at all.]

And Taylor suggests a solution that would work for Kaylor. She suggests:

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper [Kaylor marriage is not socially legitimate but paper rings is Karlie's "marriage" to Jo$h (you showed your hand)] rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, [Karlie] you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want In paper rings, in picture frames [Polaroid], in dirty dreams You're the one I want


Lover song:

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man [Karlie] to be my lover [committed lesbian partner, but socially illegitimate] My heart's been borrowed [beards] and yours has been blue [Taylor hurt her with the 1st break-up] All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

Yet there's still some uncertainty and instability:

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years? [Mercurial soulmate] Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? [Taylor is still not sure that Karlie won't up and leave her permanently for Jo$h (and it's almost a self-fulfilling prophecy given what we learn in folkmore). And ah, take me out, and take me home

In Afterglow Taylor says:
This ultraviolet morning light below [Karlie marrying Jo$h while Taylor was in Australia. When Karlie got "married"  Taylor flips out  But it's not real.  She got jealous and forgot paper rings. Jo$h and Karlie have some sort of agreement on paper, a fake marriage. And in Paper Rings Taylor said she accepted that.]

Taylor broke up with Karlie a second time.

But in this song she takes responsibility for their demise, and is regretful for her blow-up. Taylor wants Karlie back.

Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves [Bad Blood] Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there's no us Why'd I have to break what I love so much? It's on your [Karlie's] face, and I'm [Taylor for thinking the marriage was real] to blame, I need to say Hey It's all me in my head [jealousy for the Jo$h situation] I'm the one who burned us down But it's not what I meant I'm [Taylor] sorry that I hurt you [Karlie] I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you I need to say, hey It's all me, just don't go Meet me in the afterglow Tell me that you're still mine Tell me that we'll be just fine Even when I lose my mind I need to say Tell me that it's not my fault Tell me that I'm all you want Even when I break your heart

So that is what I think Taylor is telling us through her music. I've just rearranged it in a way I think is more linear to the actual Kaylor timeline. Also, this is not supposed to be all-inclusive. It does not include every song, nor every bit of the Kaylor relationship (I mean, this is already too long). I largely omitted a lot of their happy times, and other things. But this chunk includes some Kaylor happy times, sexy times, strife, and 2 break ups.

After this part I do think Karlie gave Taylor another chance after the paper rings break-up. The first part of the Lover era was all rainbows and butterflies and a possible coming out. But the latter half was dark and depressing. So they might have broken up in the middle of the era? I think the masters heist caused Taylor to delay a coming out publicly another time. It was just another blow and let down to Karlie in a series of promises (Coney Island) and probably Karlie thought time was running out for her to have a child. She couldn't delay a family life much longer.

After that even Kaylor had to be 'on' for a bit because prior to the surprise drop folklore, Karlie was in a cardigan and amongst trees. Karlie HAD to know. And nobody else did, and there was a bit of hope in folklore. So I don't know what occurred between sad-Lover era and folklore, but something gave Taylor hope. I think it ended for good (4th? break-up was final) because Evermore was all super-sad.

Disaster Song

19 Mar

Trump is a loser

I never wanted him

Hillary thought we should choose her

sexism is ultimately why she lost the prelim

 

so many mistakes, ineptitude

obvious personality disorder-narcissistic

the dude can’t read, we are screwed

worse than that he’s fascistic

 

Trump pretended the pandemic wasn’t happening

he doesn’t understand basic economics

America’s reputation blackening

closer and closer to using atomics

 

Now here we are, all alone

coronavirus threatening

everyone barricaded in their home

U.S. will have our reckoning

 

And as we hide from this disease

our businesses must close the doors

republicans blame the Chinese

it won’t stop the multiplication of corpse

 

Big Fish Small Pond

5 Feb

oh what a success!

that higher degree

you lowered yourself

came back to the town

living on past memories

 

big fish small pond

you sparkle like a diamond

taste of fame and smugness spawned

 

so you were born silver and blue

titled yourself royalty

make speeches and appearances

big for your britches

nobody cares except your own vanity

 

big fish small pond

a new era has dawned

all your modesty gone

 

everybody knows you

at least they think they do

love and hate the fishbowl

you relish that attention

resent and shun it too

 

big fish small pond

all your devotees fond

do they know that they were conned?

 

you impressed me

I wanted to appease you

and have you as a role model too

I worked very hard

you can’t dispute that

 

but you have a secret

can’t show that side of you

you’re actually terrified

but will never let on

your ego might get bruised

 

you’re self absorbed

everything’s about you

on my scary day

locked me in the bathroom

told me to keep yours confidential

 

put yourself on a pedestal

all that self aggrandizing

calling everyone losers

saying ‘play the game’

the town doesn’t know that part of you

 

big fish small pond

but pomposity beyond

a professional = non

 

invited me in

I saw the breakdown

now you cheat and scheme

not who I thought you were

awfully disappointing

 

big fish small pond

though I left and did abscond

I won’t be shamed I will respond

 

you only liked when I admired you

turned against me when I saw inside

stomped on me when I was low

could have tried to mentor though

my behavior wasn’t any worse than yours

 

your true character is ugly

you have your issues too:

you’re a bully

and conniving

and mean-spirited

gossipy

judgmental

it’s what you do

so go ahead and talk shit

you know I know the truth

Monkey Pencil Song

28 Jan
Got in a bike accident
Tore my private parts real bad
Your friend arrived from afar
 guilted to go out to eat
Sat upon that wood bench
But like a monkey still I pinch
[beat] [growl-shout] Monkey pencil Monkey pencil
Hold so tight
Even when [beat] it isn’t right
[beat] [growl-shout] Monkey pencil Monkey pencil
Grasp and clutch
Even though [beat] it isn’t much
[syncopated] Like monkey  [half beat] on that pencil
My loyalty [beat] is so prehensile!
Your work Halloween party
Bathroom in your bosses’ house
Tried to stick your hand up my skirt
I resisted- not in here
Found out you had bet your friends
You could slide home base with ease
But like a monkey still I squeeze
[beat] [growl-shout] Monkey pencil Monkey pencil
Hold so tight
Even when [beat] it isn’t right
[beat] [growl-shout] Monkey pencil Monkey pencil
Grasp and clutch
Even though [beat] it isn’t much
[syncopated] Like monkey  [half beat] on that pencil
My loyalty [beat] is so prehensile!
Over 6 years of dating
both working the same bad job
You Listened to mean girl lies
You relished ambushing me
And threw me under the bus
You talked about them so Much
But like a monkey still I clutch
[beat] [growl-shout] Monkey pencil Monkey pencil
Hold so tight
Even when [beat] it isn’t right
[beat] [growl-shout] Monkey pencil Monkey pencil
Grasp and clutch
Even though [beat] it isn’t much
[syncopated] Like monkey  [half beat] on that pencil
My loyalty [beat] is so prehensile!
[Outside in the frozen cold
Scraping my frosty windshield
You surprised me before work
Brought my favorite coffee
Drank the warmth and felt so snug
And like a monkey still I hug]
[beat] [growl-shout] Monkey pencil Monkey pencil
Hold so tight
Especially when it all goes right
[beat] [growl-shout] Monkey pencil Monkey pencil
Grasp and clutch
Especially when the loves so much
[syncopated] Like monkey  [half beat] on that pencil
My happiness [beat] is so prehensile!