what a shit-show
Lots of bad stuff happened all year. Cool’s mom died which caused a cascade of bad reactions and terrible events. Cool’s bipolar was off the heezy, up and down and up and further up–making life complex and terrible. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to undergo surgery and radiation. My dad was diagnosed with early Parkinson’s Disease. Those events aren’t in my countdown, because even though they sucked–they aren’t MY events to claim. But they did negatively affect me.
Here’s how 2016 started: I had to work on New Year’s Eve 2015. Of course either everyone else either planned ahead and took the day off, or called out sick. But I was still in my first 90 days, so I wasn’t yet eligible for any time off. So it was me and my supervisor for half of it. Till she coerced another co-worker to come in by reminding him that he wouldn’t get paid for the holiday if he didn’t show up to the shift immediately proceeding it. This was typical stuff for my work history–I was used to Noh’s Ark 20s-something shenanigans. While I was at work, Cool was getting her drink on. Mind you, we had been abstinent for 2 whole years. And we had not discussed adding alcohol back into our lives–she just grabbed it impulsively. And drank it. Even though she was home alone. Long story short, by the time I rushed home from work for the countdown, Cool had already over-done it, was tired, then went to puke. And she vomited, not down in the toilet, but from above–so it got everywhere! It was the bad omen that started 2016.
The year went on like that–one thing after another. I spent a lot of time writing my music blog. I spent a ton of time editing pictures, writing descriptions, and putting in order–my good moments of 2016. These moments sucked. I’m tired of thinking about them-tired of dwelling on them. I’ll quick-write these and be done. I’m worn down from 2016, and hoping for a very tranquil 2017.
9-I got a flu. For the first time I can remember–aside from childhood sicknesses. My fever lasted 5 days! I was miserable. I lost a week of unpacking and errands.
8-I got the impossible raise by negotiating. This one hurts because it should have been such a GOOD moment. But then my boss ruined my moment by being an ass. He doesn’t like me and makes no bones about it. He wished his favorite employees had earned the big raise instead, and resented the fact my pay is so high now. He said, “You got lucky.” Ummm, nice. What a douche! Also, Cool ruined my celebration by picking a fight–one of our biggest fights ever. Not awesome.
7-The moving process, because it is always a headache. We had to hire movers because the washer/dryer unit weighs 240 pounds. Nothing is simple when you are moving from a basement to a third floor unit 35 minutes away. Cool works days and I work nights so we had to work alone. And then, I hated the stupid, non-functional layout of the new apartment, and not being able to unpack. What a money-pit.
6-Our cute neighborhood with so much potential suddenly went downhill. It went from quiet with tons of potential to ghetto and dangerous in about three weeks. A homeless family made camp in our apartment’s parking lot. People started walked by, peering into our living room window, casing the joint. The police started showing up to various units routinely (see blog). Starting to feel unsafe walking from my car to the apartment when I got home in the early morning hours felt awful. Knowing the owner didn’t care about our safety and wellbeing, and wasn’t going to do anything to improve the situation was frustrating. And learning that no one else could help us, because it was private property felt hopeless.
5-Cool got in a 6x roll-over accident and totaled her car. But she lived. It’s a miracle. Except it happened 1 week before we moved! The timing for it was the worst. And I had to call out sick twice as a result of the crash, possible head injury, then her anxiety about it. And now, I have to do all the shopping, all the errands, and take her to the pharmacy and anywhere else she needs to go.
4-working with effing lazy people every day. Doing way more then my share of the work–every day. Seeing my lazy co-workers be–lazy. Resentment. Getting held hostage by slowness of coworkers despite doing all the work. Going home late in every scenario. Being tired all the time. Starting the next shift tired, and doing all the work (tired) again, in the hopes of leaving earlier and getting more sleep. Failing at this night after night. Really got me down.
3-Working with Catty. I started dreading work every Monday. I didn’t want to talk at work. I didn’t want to stand up at any time, lest be judged by her. I didn’t want to turn my head. I felt self-conscious. We had to trade recs and it was horrible. She was a bitch and made me feel small and edgy. She was my boss’ friend. She had been there much longer and knew everyone. She hated me.
2-Cool ambushed me. And I found out she had gone “Mean Girls” against me for quite some time. I broke up with her and kicked her out of the apartment. Then, I had to work with the bitch (the afore-mentioned Catty) who initiated the whole thing–every Monday. Sitting immediately sitting next to her, and having to trade requisitions to verify stressed me out! Cool was ridiculous, and everything was tumultuous. Suddenly, I felt very alone in Utah–in the world. I was furious, and knew she was being THE WORST, yet my heart hurt.
1-window harassment (because the fear lasted longer then Cool’s ambush). When someone started harassing us by knocking on our bedroom window several times, it was time to go. I lay awake at night listening, anticipating with dread someone coming back, and breaking in. I heard sounds, saw lights. I had to plan what to do if someone got in when we weren’t home. When we were sleeping. While I was alone. When Cool was home alone. We had so much dread. It was awful. And in a horrible year of a lot of big, awful events–it was the worst. By just a little bit.