Tag Archives: misoginyst

Elephant in the Room: Emily’s Voice

27 Apr

The due known as the Indigo Girls are my besties. i mean they don’t know it–but they’ve been there for a lot of moments in my life. Nomads, Indians, and Saints at my first job. Become you when I was a lonely only child in a rural town slowly figuring out that I didn’t really connect with anyone. Come On Now Social when I was dipping a toe into politics. Shaming of the Sun my first year of college, alone in the dorm. Despite Our Differences when my mate and I went to Zoo-Tunes in Seattle. They (via their music) have been my support system for 2 decades. Many people, especially lesbians have much the same experience.

Which is why I feel very defensive for Emily’s voice. Criticism is creeping in. I would have said something in the Reddit group if I had seen the post before it was archived. People were saying:
Emily’s voice i,s worse/bad. They say it cracks, and that she can no longer hit/sustain notes.

I noticed something off some of the times (not all), but thought it was lack of breathe control from obesity, honestly. Emily had gotten very heavy there for awhile, and I just figured her overall fitness was impacting her singing–nothing irreversible.

BUT those people said they noticed it on a couple recent albums and at a concert, and would not be buying IG concert tickets.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Valid reasons not to buy concert tickets:

The artist is chronically late to concerts.

The artist always cancels shows.

The artist is so fucked up they only sing 2 songs.

The artist pukes on stage.

The artist molests you.

The artist falls to the ground on stage.

But seriously, fans of the Indigo Girls are not going to attend concerts because of a intermittent voice issue?!  Jesus, have some empathy and BE A FAN.

A voice can be iffy for any number of reasons ranging from the mundane to emergent:

(this list is not exhaustive)



-smoking/vaping/chewing, etc. . . whatever route of administration of nicotine/tobacco products/weed, etc…

-tired/fatigue (either or both voice and whole body)

-screaming too much or general overuse


-weight gain


*Spasmodic or tension dysphonia (which can be the 1st manifestation of M.S.)

-Multiple Sclerosis

-(early) Parkinson’s Disease


-many syndromes cause it

Have a little empathy and loyalty! Emily (both IG) have been with us through thick and thin for over 35 years!
When your spouse burns dinner-you divorce them?
When your child gets in trouble at school-you put them up for adoption?

And the Indigo Girls PUT ON A SHOW! It’s not just the singing. It’s the comradery, the activism, the community visibility. Anyone who has belted out Closer to Fine with everyone at a show knows the communal pride and excitement I’m talking about! Emily’s writing talent and musical ability is amazing–and that has not changed. There’s a lot more to a band than just hitting and sustaining notes.

Also, men seem to get away with aging voices, ruined voices and still sell albums and concert tickets. The Rolling Stones are OLD. And honestly, their voices suck at this point. But you don’t hear about that–they’re legends! Dave Matthews often has problems, and his voice has degraded, but he still sells out 3 shows at The Gorge. Every year. I could probably name 100 men (Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash who talks through all of his songs, Every dude over 60yo that’s done duets with Lady Gaga or Sheryl Crow in recent memory… Famous, successful men with iffy in the first place voices to major shimmer and jitter and degradation don’t get this negativity and criticism. Don’t hold women to different standards.

I wish Emily well with whatever is going on ❤

And fellow “fans” get it together! Show some loyalty for a band that has been there for you for ages >:-/

WAP Grammys 2021 Performance is Not Empowerment or Feminism–It’s Misogyny

16 Mar

Visibility is imperative. Pushing norms is progress. But disguising the objectification of women for the male gaze as empowered feminism is super-problematic, and that’s what is happening here. Cardi b and Meghan Thee Stallion’s Grammys 2021 performance was supposed to push boundaries, and shock. And it did! Madonna pushed boundaries of female sexuality with her cones and simulated sex scene prior to this. But I see the Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke twirking on all the negative YouTube videos for ‘top 10 cringe moments’, ‘celebs that are problematic’, ‘people who got cancelled’, etc, etc… And let’s not forget how Janet Jackson was ENDED over a fraction of a sec of nipple pasty action at the Superbowl. Can you say, double standard?!

Anyway, I keep seeing a lot of arguments for the merits of this song/performance because it matches what men do. Men have scantily-clad women on their videos, demean women as “bitches” (and far worse) in their lyrics, talk about sexual acts in explicit detail, and are “pimps” when they rack up the number of women they conquer. So people are arguing it’s cool that now women can do that too.

Except here’s the thing:

Feminism isn’t doing whatever you want or being as disgusting as men, it is breaking away from objectification, truly empowering the individual self and collective group of women.

Joining in on objectification of women is not empowerment!

em·pow·er·ment (N)- Authority or power given to someone to do something. “individuals are given empowerment to create their own dwellings” the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.

This performance isn’t about women owning their bodies, sexuality, or controlling the narrative. This is women selling their image in a package that men like in order to make money and gain fame in the small niche that female rap artists have carved out.

Women in this patriarchal society have to fit in a box–the Madonna/whore dichotomy. Women in music, already in that narrow box of patriarchy, have to fit into an even smaller box of being a role model to girls while having sexual appeal for the general public. The rap category is an even teenier box a couple of select women have to fit in to keep going. In the end, the box is so small and limited, there is no space left.

People online are praising the performance as visible female sexuality, black women owning their own bodies, and empowerment. Which, I agree might be present (though in this writing, I’ll argue it’s in diluted form). I felt the performance was harmful to women’s progress. What I don’t want to do is add the the terrible narrative that black women’s sexuality is wild/animalistic/scary/out of control that colonialism, racism, sexism, and patriarchy has painted it. I find the performance harmful because it is misogyny in feminist clothing, to borrow the sheep expression.

I know there’s a whole song, and the music video that goes with it. I don’t know much about either so my critiques are based solely on the following video of the 2021 Grammy performance:

My racap of the action:

-A stripper pole-references the men’s domain of the strip club where women take off clothes and dance suggestively for men’s entertainment.
-Cardi B backs up and puts her butt-crack on the pole. Side-note: Butt implants are for men. A women can die getting plastic surgery to enhance her body. Her clothes will fit differently. She will have to move differently, walk differently, lay down differently than she did before putting plastic in her butt. And she may have complications later. Leaking, autoimmune issues, cancer… This is not for a woman’s pleasure–women’s butts are not an erroneous zone, or secondary sex characteristic. A big butt is for men’s pleasure.
-In case the viewer couldn’t put it together, a giant, clear plastic stripper platform shoe flanks the stage. The type of shoe men like to look at, but women have trouble walking effectively in, and certainly running from danger is out of the question in such a shoe. It shows the power dynamic–females are weakened by such a shoe but men get pleasure from them wearing the shoe. Men are in power here. The women are just props for them to use to achieve sexual gratification.
-Other suggestive moves that drive home this is a performance to cater to men’s sexual desire: Splay legs, she grabs/rubs her puss, gyrating hips and doing suggestive humping dance moves. Cardi B elevates and licks her own leg. Countless squats split legged. Laying with legs far apart on the bed. Crawling on the bed. Split legged humping. Laying on her back with split legs. The two women crawl toward each other on bed. They scissor their legs together. [Pet-peeve] this is NOT a thing! I mean, it might technically exist in the way the pile-driver is a thing, but not used in real life, it’s only for porn. This scissoring maneuver is performative and it’s is ignorant/Lesbphobic. As a matter of fact, if two out, butch lesbians did the same move, I’ll bet the reaction would be totally different. Then to finish the show, more split legs.

Here’s the test to know if it’s empowering feminism or if it’s misogyny:

a) if this is two women owning their own bodies, displaying confidence and empowerment


b) this is a sexually suggestive performance for the male gaze

In the above video and descriptive paragraph, trade out the women for men.

Have you seen men doing a similar performance before? Does it seem like the same type of performance? Would it garner the same reaction?

I’d say fail.

You do not/would not see two men: Dancing on a pole. Licking their own leg. Crawling toward another man on a giant bed. Or scissoring legs together with another man…

This is not women owning their sexuality. This is objectifying & commodifying women for the male gaze.

Research by Calogero has shown that the male gaze can have detrimental effects on women’s self-esteem and self-objectification, leading to increased body shame and a worsened mental state. The male gaze creates a power imbalance. It supports a patriarchal status quo, perpetuating women’s real-life sexual objectification.

So that’s why I don’t like it. I’m not even going to mention being role model for girls, b/c the conservatives always trot out “save the children!” to shame women. But I will say it would be nice if society was better at recognizing misogyny. I can understand why it’s difficult because it’s ubiquitous and pervasive. But we need to educate ourselves a lot better, because things are still BAD for women. And I would love to see women being successful by truly own their own bodies and sexuality in an empowering way. I hope it happens.

But this was not it.

Eminem: Music to be Murdered by Album Review

30 Nov

I had to deliberate long and hard to decide where to place the album on the list.  It contains probably the best rap song of all time (yup, I said it) and also a really powerful song, that’s ne of the best of anybody this year.  Unfortunately, it also contains that Eminem-brand misogyny, violence, and toxic masculinity, as well as a denial of white privilege.  I used to overlook those things a lot because I was younger, and I could think of the guy’s real life upbringing and struggles and somewhat justify all that toxicity.  Rap is a historical record of racial politics and socio-economic struggle.  But also, it’s 2020, and these issues are at the forefront, and Marshall Mathers has had plenty of time to get counseling, perspective, and education.  So I could not bring myself to rate it in the Awesome grouping for those reasons.

Premonition- Intro:  I don’t care for all the violent and murder imagry in his whole catalog.  I do like the Alfred Hitchcock sample.  Eminem talks about fans and critics.  How each are fickle.  And at least he admits in the song he sounds whiny.  The system is unfair to most–just try to be a woman (of color) in the music business.

Unaccommodating:  Em can rap so fast!  I’m impressed anew every time I hear it.  He can both say words quickly, and write verse that makes sense, and has meaning.

You Gon’ Learn:  The chipmunkee backing is different.  I like when Eminem is cheeky/funny.  It’s hard to listen to his misogyny and all the “bitches” peppered throughout most of the songs.

Alfred:  This Hitchcock vocal is even better than the first.

Those Kinda Nights:  More misogyny.  I really don’t know Ed Sheeran’s deal.  He looks like an unfortunate nerd to be, and I think sings mostly romance-pop?  And here he is contributing to some major sexism.  I don’t care for that.  Also an English-accent “dance” has no place here.  The chorus is catchy, but I’d like less pro-sexual harassment/assult.

In Too Deep:  A slower song about not being happy in a relationship.  The backing music is nice, and Eminem provides very detailed writing that tells an entire story. 

Godzilla:  The chords are really fun and interesting.  The references like loch ness, and Blockbuster, etc… are many, and they are fun to hear come together.  You can hear the background music begging to ramp up before the greatest rap verse of all time.  I DO NOT KNOW HOW HE BOTH RAPS SO FAST AND SAYS SOMETHING SENSICAL WHILE DOING IT.  All caps necessary.  It is so fast from 2:57 to 3:27 (and also preceded with pretty fast rap).  And I saw him do it live on YouTube so I know it’s not just tricky engineering–Eminem can back it up.  He is the most talented rapper of all time.  This song beats the prior best, most fastest rap (also set by him) “Rap God” Jesus!  And this is the primary reason I grit my teeth through all the misogyny because the man has pure talent–though I’d like it if he’d drop the hate.

Darkness:  Good, subtle use of the sampled song.  This song transitions from what I thought was a personal account of Eminem’s own demons, into the Las Vegas spree killing.  Good word play with “shots” and “loaded” between drinking and shooting.  The song sends a pretty strong message about mental illness and America’s lack of gun reform.  It really hits home without crossing the line into preachy.  Well done.  The song ends with the many, many, many school and public spree killer news announcements, and it’s super-effective. Perhaps the best thing Eminem has ever said.  Respect.

Leaving Heaven:  Some war and PTSD imagry.  He speaks about race, and socioeconomic status.  And he’s right that he dealt with poverty and bullying and a broken family.  Still, I don’t agree that Eminem’s difficult background means he doesn’t have white privilege.  He still has benefited from the color of his skin.  He can occupy certain spaces that POC are gate-kept from.  So I don’t buy into that line of thought, but yeah, poverty makes things hard, as does reverse racism.  

Yah Yah:  I like that it’s upbeat, and I enjoy the group singing, which reminds me of a party.  I didn’t like the, “yaw yaw yaw, yaw yaw” sequence.

Stepdad:  Sample of a dad being rough with a kid.  Some pretty fucked up images of abuse featured in the song.  And fantasy of revenge.  If the listener can get passed the graphic content, they’ll hear a complete and detailed story.  It’s good writing about a tough topic.

Marsh:  A lot of call backs to his own alter ego and catalog. Clever references sprinkled in to the song.  If there was a throw away on the album though, this would be it.  A little weaker than the others.  

Never Love Again:  Catchy.  Beautiful inclusion of piano, and layered voice.  The breakdown rap is interesting and catchy.  The song makes it clear that Eminem’s toxic relationships are just as much addiction as his substance abuse.

Little Engine:  The syncopation is the pre-chorus is good.  It’s expert the way Eminem is able to portray a conversation between two people with just his voice.  And it is neat that the words in the chorus sound like the sound of cars zooming around a track.  “Vin vin go” or something.  

Lock It Up:  An R&B vibe with the slow background music.

Farewell:  I don’t like listening to this kind of talk.  The slut and cunt of it all, is just too much misogyny. Good chorus or not.

No Regrets:  Gosh, the featured sounds like Akon a lot.  Makes me miss those early ots!

I Will:  To show success in terms of violence and “murdering” the beat is such toxic masculinity.  I hear that from male stand up comedians to: Killed it, murdered out there, etc…  And they are a problematic group.  I like that Eminem wants to prove his stature at the top of the rap game, however.  Just use better language.

Alfred-Outro:  Ties in with the last song, and shows the album was about proving the last song true.