Tag Archives: models

Tight–but not in a good way.

19 Oct

Horrible, horrible, embarrassing moment of today:

After work, I walked to the coffee shop across the street to study while Cool interneted.  I drank coffee and studied, not paying attention to anyone else inside the place.  After an hour and a half, Cool and I were good and caffeinated and sort of chatting–as we do–still not paying attention to other people.

Cool brought up Northface and I said how I would like to buy one of everything in the store when I’m all rich.  Then, because I have a vandeta against black yoga pants–and spendex in general, I clarified my initial statement and said, “Except black yoga pants.”

black yoga pants 2

I’m not sure why black yoga pants are such a hot trend, and I constantly see gals of all shapes, sizes, and ages wearing them whereever they are.  I posted pics on here of relatively thin people wearing them–that are made to look fat/bulgy in places–just to illustrate that no one looks good.  Believe me, there were a lot of terrible pics of less fit people too–but you can imagine.

You either have a VPL (visible panty line) or let me ask this–you can’t wear underwear, right?  Because even thong lines would show.  And I see some people wearing black yoga pants EVERY day.  Please tell me they have multiple pairs and are not wearing the same pants, sans underwear, day in and day black yoga pants 3out.  *shudder*  And they are not breathable (another problem for hygiene) and don’t TELL me something that tight is comfortable. . .  Anyway, it’s an awful, unflattering look.  And of course when we got on the topic inside the coffee shop I said so.  And out of the corner of my eye, I saw an employee come and begin emptying the trash (which was immediately next to our table).  But still, I didn’t look at them at all–I couldn’t have told you if they were male or female–let alone what they were wearing.

Do you see where this is headed?  So I’m going on and on to Cool about how the ONLY people that look good in unflattering spandex are super-models and ballerinas, before walking across the room to hand in our dirty plate.  Once I was all the way across the room, headed back to our seat I noticed that the employee emptying the trash. . .  Was a chubby gal–wearing blue spandex pants.

I felt awful!  She was red-in-the-face.  I was mortified, because our comments must have seemed so pointed to her–because we didn’t shut up even when she came in proximity.  So I’m sure the poor girl thought that not only we were talking about her, but we didn’t stop because we wanted her to hear.  Not how either of us roll, but the yoga pants 1damage was done.

I just wanted to leave immediately, tail between my legs, but Cool’s laptop took forever to shut down and we had to stand there, while the gal had to come baaaack to our area with a trash bag.  It was horrible, mean, and awkward, and I need to learn to shut my fat mouth–in public.

So I hope that gal doesn’t go home and cry herself to sleep on our account.  We hadn’t even seen her, and didn’t intentionally target her or anything.  And I don’t want to make anyone (especially women who already have so much beauty-industry pressure placed upon them) feel bad about themself.  It was really $hitty. . .

But I do still stand by my loathing of spandex.  In the niceest way–ladies, spandex doesn’t look good on anyone.  Your weight and shape don’t really factor into the equation–so unless you are a Victoria’s Secret Angel (average Victoria's Secret Angels Visit SoulCycleage = 21 years; average height = 5’10”; average weight = 110 lb; putting their BMI at an appallingly under-weight 15.8–women that tall should weigh a mininmum of 130 lb) you shouldn’t wear them.  I myself am petite (which made today’s incident seem even worse) but I would look icky and chubby in spandex pants.  They would make my thieghs look huge!  The pants aren’t designed for real women.

Coffee shop employee, I apologize if I hurt your feelings–it was not intentional, and I will keep my dumb mouth shut in public about such matters–you didn’t look any worse than anyone else who wears those.  But again–people, just don’t wear those things–they are ugly and make everyone look fat/unfit/odd-shaped.

 

Icky Reasons for IVF

5 Jun

I know IVF in Kansas was for infertile couples who desperately wanted a child.  As an egg donor in the Midwest, I felt my contribution was part altruistic, part financial.  The parents on the waiting list seemed to really want a healthy child.  I never got the vibe that people wanted a model-genius or anything like that.  At most, I knew parents wanted a donor that resembled them–probably so the parents could sort of see what their genes looked liked together and also so their family would look more cohesive.

Then, when you get to California and even Seattle, IVF is more a way to genetically engineer a beautiful, smart, child. A lot of the questions on the surveys regarded test scores and accomplishments, rather than just the health background I had in Kansas City.  And no one in Seattle ever picked me as a donor.  Maybe because the West coat market is more saturated with women wanting to donate, but also, I suspect, because I didn’t Ace the SAT or get signed by Ford.  It creeped me out that parents are picking traits they want in a child and trying to exclude different or unique characteristics.

It’s the variability in people that makes us special–however problematic for society.

Plus, that was some of the best (easiest) money I’ve made in my life.  Most definitely the easiest.  Even with the drugs, needles, and 2.5 hour (one way) driving time.  It honestly didn’t inconvenience me very much at all–especially when they handed me those big checks after surgery 🙂  I could certainly use that kind of income now!  Except, I’m running out of time.  You can only be an egg donor until age 30.  I have about one year to get picked.  Listen up, infertile people in Seattle–pick my profile, hurry!  *sigh* I need to go back to the Bible Belt so I can utilize my last 2 donations (you get 6 in a lifetime).  I should see if MT, ID, or Eastern WA have an IVF program. . .

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Phat Chance [10-15-06]

16 Jan

Anyone that knows me, knows I’m 5’2″. I cannot weigh very much, because there is no place for it to go–I’d be a total fat-ass! I realize taller people are going to weigh more and should wear a larger size than me. I’m not prejudiced against people that are bigger than me (I am NOT anti-fat, just anti-being in denile about wearing your correct size, whatever it is). I have worn a size 5 since my sophomore year of high school. Though my measurements have actually increased by an inch, I now wear a size 2. I just get disgruntled when size 10s refuse to buy a size 10, and instead wear a size 5. No one but you knows or cares what size you are! If size 5 is ACTUALLY a 10, what are people who wore old size 5 supposed to wear? Is this why childrens clothes look age-inapropriate these days?!  Negative sizes–don’t even get me started!  Just another way that our patriarchial society tries to make women disappear and appropriate the power of females.

Just today I tried on a slutty sailor costume that was a “small” and it was jumbo-tron. Ok, ladies–you are not wearing a size smaller, the sizes are just getting larger to appeal to your vanity. Yes, it’s true America has moved toward an unhealthy obsession with weight, and Hollywood stars and models are much too thin. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t support this culture of eating disorders.  BUT lots of people say–oh I am ideal because I wear the same size as Marilyn Monroe who wore a size 14-16.

The standards for women’s dress sizes have not remained constant over the years; they have changed as the size and shape of the average woman has changed. (Clothing manufacturers assume most women don’t want to wear clothing of a size identified as “Large,” for example, so they adjust their sizing so that the average-sized woman takes a “Medium.” If the size of the average woman has increased over the years, then the very same size that was a “Large” fifty years ago might be a “Medium” today. This is what has happened to women’s dress sizes since the 1940s: a woman who weighs more now than she did twenty years ago might actually be wearing a smaller dress size today (like me).

What was a size 12 in the 1940’s is now a size 8, because women on average have gotten larger (super-size me–anyone?!), and because women feel more comfortable buying dresses in smaller sizes. Marilyn Monroe, often considered the standard, “all American” icon wore a size 16 during much of her heyday. She almost certainly did not wear dresses equivalent to today’s size 16 and the white dress she wore in “The 7 year Itch” is a size eight by today’s standards.

Marilyn Monroe’s measurements: Height: 5 feet, 5½ inches, Weight: 118-140 pounds, Bust: 35-37 inches, Waist: 22-23 inches, Hips: 35-36 inches, Bra size: 36D.

Marilyn Monroe:   38-23-36

Jennifer Aniston:    34-23-35.5

Heidi Klum:           35-24-35